My December
This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December This is all so clear
"Yukina? It's late sweetie, you should go home and rest." I hear Botan say for at least the fifth time. But again for the fifth time I pretend not to hear her. It's been exactly six hours since I felt him slip away. I'm kneeling at his side, my hands wrapped around the beautiful alexandrite tear gem. So it's true, he does make tear gems and they're prettier than any that I've ever seen. He's lying there perfectly still. His skin wasn't pale at all and his face was relaxed and calm. If I didn't know any better I would think he was just asleep and would wake at any moment. But he won't...and it's my fault. I look at the beautiful stone. Amazing how black could be so clear and beautiful. I wonder what he was thinking when he cried this. I look closely and I see a reflection of myself smiling with tears in my eyes. I nearly break into more tears...he thought of me as his last thought...
This is my December
This is my snow covered home
This is my December
This is me alone
I leave Reikai at nearly dawn. I don't return to the temple though. Too many bad memories and I don't feel like crying anymore. I don't want to go to Shizuru's house. She had enough on her mind without worrying about me having a place for my head. So I go to where I'm always welcome. Kurama- san. I just hope he's in the mood to put up with me. I walk down the street and I feel something touch my hand as I carry some of my things. I look up and see small snowflakes falling. My eyes widened. I knock at the door. It takes a moment but he opens it and looks down at me with swollen eyes. He had been crying too. Without a word he let me in and I sat on the couch putting my things aside. He sniffs a bit and sits next to me.
"I take it you need a place to sleep, Yukina?"
I nod slowly. He's so sad. He, Mukuro and I cried the most I believe. I know I can't be like my brother but I can be myself and comfort those who loved him just as I did. Kurama is one of those people. I slide over to him and wrap my arms around him. He leans in and he I hear him cry. I feel the guilt wash over me and I think I drop a few gems as well. The person we love most is gone so I have to make sure no one grieves alone.
And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
He's asleep on the pull out bed in his living room. He gave his bed to me but I can't sleep. I'm sitting on the sill of the window in his room. I'm sitting in my normal position staring out the window. I can't help but think...this can't be over. Not like this. Something is off. I know it is. I can't place it though. I know I'm missing something...maybe it's just my denial to give it up.
No it isn't over...
"What?"
It isn't over. There is still a chance to get him back...
"How?"
Look to the Alaric library.
"But that's Mukuro's territory. I can't get there on my own."
Go there with Kurama. Let him know that there might be a chance. Alaric borders Gandara. Kurama can get you through a portal from there and get you safely into Alaric. He still has authority there.
"Alright! I'll do it. If there is a way I'll find it!"
"Find what?" a tired voice called.
I turn to see Kurama standing in the doorway. I smile and go to him.
And I
Take back all
The things I said
To make you
Feel like that
Another chance? I watch her with confusion. She sits on the sill the way he does. Everything she does, thought subtle, reminds me of him. Her appearance just makes me depressed but I dare not turn her away. She comes up to me and takes my hands.
"We have to go to Alaric, Kurama!" she says smiling.
My first thought is why and my second is has she lost her mind. I go with the first thought though. "Why?"
She shakes her head and smiles brightly. "There's a chance that this isn't over! I just have a keen feeling that we overlooked something important about aniki's death!"
I know it's a bit foolish to have hope about this but I can't help it. I want the hiryuu youkai back as much as she. Perhaps more. But I don't know how Mukuro would react to the bombarding of her fortress. But I can't just crush her hope like that. So I nod and she hugs me.
"We'll set out in the morning. Please go back to sleep," she says pushing me toward my bed. "I'll sleep on the pull out bed and you get a comfortable rest in your room!"
Before I can object she leaves the room shutting the door behind her. I sigh and I settle into bed. I just continue to dream. I dream about all the chances I missed with the little fire youkai. I wonder if Mukuro's dreaming of the same.
And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
What are they doing here? I see the fox and Hiei's sister entering my throne room. I probably look like hell to them. My body is weary and I'm barely sitting straight in my seat. I haven't slept very well. Apparently, neither has Kurama, I can see the bags under his eyes from here. I guess I should be happy I'm not alone in suffering. But it's not much help. The Koorime approaches me and bows. She shifts on her feet slightly as she speaks to me.
"Mukuro-sama, I'm sorry to intrude. But I think that what I have to say will change your mind about throwing us out. I think there might be a way to bring back your heir, my brother Hiei. I just suddenly, last night, thought about how his execution left me unsatisfied that he was dead. I realized that I missed something. And I thought maybe you would allow us to look up some things in your records that might help me. If you wish to turn us away then I don't hold any ill will against you because the three of us are the ones that cared the most for my onisan and I'm sure we understand how each other is feeling."
She certainly has a way with words. I wonder why Hiei never mentioned how intelligent she was. But then he never mentioned much of anything. She kept her head bowed to me. Kurama, surprisingly, doing the same. Probably for the girl's sake he was being polite. I admit we've had sparks fly between us because of our mutual feelings for Hiei but...I suddenly have the feeling there will be no need for this anymore. I believe he knows it too. I step down from my throne and walk to her. I lift her head to look me. Her eyes are so beautiful and so identical to Hiei. I believe it's this that makes me consider her words.
"Can you promise that what you are looking for can be found in my fortress?"
She hesitates and I see something in her eyes. Almost as if she's asking herself the same question. What was that look?
She smiles brightly. "Yes, Mukuro-sama. I can."
And I
Take back all the
Things I said to you
If she can find a way to bring my heir and love back to me...then I swear I'll take every cross thing I've ever said to him back. I swear it. She can stay here as long as she wants to. I'd stop caring if Hiei returned.
"Then I'll allow the both of you to stay in my home. And I trust you specifically Yukina. Please do what you can."
She nods and bows again. "No need to be formal with me anymore. You're his sister and I'll treat you with respect." I say with a half smile. I look at the fox then who is looking at me incredulously. I actually smile at him holding no grudge. He nods as well.
And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere
To go to
I rub my eyes. It's nearly dawn. I've been at this for five days. Her library is far too big for two people. But I notice she comes in to help once in a while. Mukuro has given us free travel to all the record rooms as well. I feel so at home here too. I think because this was where my brother spent most of his time. I love the clothes she's supplying with me. The tunics are dark in shade but beautiful all the same. Anyway, Kurama have been pulling what he calls all-nighters. Still nothing useful. I didn't think this would be so hard.
I stand and go to the shelves while Kurama reads. The information is overwhelming but it's just not what we need...I jump slightly when a book a few feet away hits the floor. Kurama looks up and I tell him never mind it.
"You should sleep Kurama. I don't mean to be mean but you look horrible."
He laughs a little and stands agreeing with me. He tells me goodnight and leaves to sleep. I smile after him but my attention turns aback to the fallen book. I step closer to it and I kneel down, I touch it and suddenly my world goes black.
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to
I'm falling. My hands flail out to grab something but there's nothing there.
How far are you willing to go to get him back, Yukina?
"Who are you?"
How far, Yukina?
"As far as I need to go."
Then I'll show you how to get him back. If you can help me as I have help you then you will have him back.
"Help you...?"
I close my eyes and I open them what seemed like a few minutes later. I'm standing on a cliff. I recognize this place. I'm near the glacier. I see it their floating like a cloud. The difference is it's unmoving and unchanging...I have this strange sadness in me that is not mine. I look at my hands and I notice they are covered in black dyed bandages all the way up to my shoulder. I see my hair blowing in front of me and traces of black are intertwined with it. I'm taller... I look to the side to a boy standing near me. His hair is jet black with highlights of blue. His bangs remind me of aniki...that starburst...he turns to me with garnet orbs like mine and he gives a sad smile. All at once I disappear from this scene and...I'm running now. I'm running through a strange forest and I see a castle ahead of me. In a flash snow is everywhere.
This is my December
These are my snow-covered trees
This is me pretending
This is all I need
This person whose eyes I'm seeing through...she's upset about something. I look around at all the snow-covered trees. I'm in front of the black castle. The fountains are pouring dark water...I realize this isn't water at all...it's blood. Against my will I run to the wall and in an amazing leap I jump high and send a blast of black ice youki at the door freezing it completely. I kick at it and it shatters. Another flash and I'm traveling through the halls. Everything here is a nightmare. I hear the scream of tortured beings and I feel my heart sink as I run. Our fears are similar in this place...
And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
This girl is desperate as she makes it to the end of this hall. She and I enter this room and I see the boy lying there on an alter. A black orb is floating above his chest. His soul...the flowing white creature is there. Its ghostly hands are around the boy's soul. It looks up and howls. It's mouth wide and gapping and eyes stretched beyond limit. We both scream as it comes at us.
And I
Take back all
The things I said
To make you feel like that
It's cold fingers pass through us and I feel the girl's eyes widen. I watch terrified as the creature pulls from my or should I say our chest a sparkling pure ice blue orb. We fall to the ground and staring at the ceiling. Before we lose ourselves we look to see the boy as his orb is returned to him but he doesn't move as the orb from our chest goes to him as well. The creature vanishes fleeing the room as the boy slowly rises...then I see no more.
I wish I could take back every wrong thing I said
He was your brother...?
Yes, his name was Hiroshi...
What's your name...?
Yuka...
What happens next...?
We've never been able to finish...no one's ever made it this far...history has repeated so many times...
What is that thing?
The Spirit of Solitude...the Anima Sola of the Makai.
Tell me where this place is.
Bloody Palace...you know the way.
I do?
Yes...you'll know where to go.
And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
I walk into the library at dawn after sleeping for only two hours. As I approached it I had a sinking feeling...something was wrong. I see her lying on the floor her pale hand over a book. I run to her side and turn her over. She isn't breathing. I quickly pick her up and bring her to the infirmary. They take her from me and I'm led to the waiting area. One of the doctors come out and ask me what book she had been touching. Now that I think about it I had no idea. They ask that I quickly go and get the book in question. I ask what it had to do with anything. They shoo me out saying I didn't have time to question them about it, just to go and get it so I did. I pick it up and I stare at it. The Spirit of Solitude: Legacy of the Dragon twins. What did this have to do with Yukina? I shake my head and I hurry back. I've lost Hiei and I refuse to let him down and lose his sister as well. I know he'd never forgive me if I did.
And I
Take back all the things
I said to you
You have to go back to bloody palace and finish what we started. I never want to watch what has happened to you and Hiei over again because you failed. I refuse to watch this repeatedly. You have to get through to the end of this...I can't take back how much I've interfering you. But I also couldn't have let you feel the full effect of what's happened. You would have gone insane. So in interfering I'm assuring someone to end this. As for Hiei, Hiroshi is with him. I know this will be hard but you and your brother have to be strong for us as well as yourselves...remember this...You're love is the only thing that will save you...
And I give it all away
Just to have
Somewhere to go to
I rush to the infirmary. Kurama is already there, holding a book I hadn't seen around before. His head is down and I can't see his face but I know what's going through his head. Hiei...I sit next to him. He lifts his head at my presence and I carefully ask what's happened to her. He explains trying to remain as stoic as possible. Like me, he fails miserably...I'd never admit it but I worry about her as well. If I can't have Hiei. I at least want his sister to live.
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to
She's worried about her...probably as much as I am...I try to stay as calm as possible when I'm too worried about Yukina dieing. My eyes fall to the book in my arms. What has this got to do with her? At any rate, I still wish I could've chosen to stay all night with her. Maybe this wouldn't have happened. Just like her being...if I wasn't off doing other things I would have been there to protect her from Kuwabara like I had promised! I feel the guilt weigh down my heart. Kuwabara wouldn't have shown up, Yukina wouldn't have been raped, Hiei wouldn't have murdered him, and he wouldn't have been sentenced to death.
This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear
I open my eyes at the sound of footsteps. I sit up to see Mukuro and Kurama there. I understand why they're there. I was out cold I think. The doctor told me I had stopped breathing for a long period of time and it was amazing that I was alive. I smile at them as they question me. I shush them by raising my hand politely.
"I've found away..."
"What?" Mukuro asks
"You mean you know how to get Hiei back?"
"Yes...I know what I have to do..."
And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere
To go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to
I know what to do. I'm coming for you, aniki. Then we'll be happy. We'll be okay...
A/N: Well i think this should stop the death threats for a while. You people are crazy but i'm happy you were interested in my story. so anyway up next is Paper Cut and after that is a very beautiful called Cry Little Sister.