The Cupid 500
Chapter Five
In our last episode, Usagi, Mamoru, and Chibiusa duke it out over how exactly the little demon *cough* GIRL, excuse me, she's alive, but then Usagi gets mildly upset and scares them all away. After a completely irrelevant and pointless conversation with a French couple, Usagi gives Chibiusa a kick start into the world of flirtation, deception, and dinner parties. Usagi wins her little bet with Yohji, but then immediately is shocked and more than a little bit upset when she sees Duo and Saori kissing. She promptly gets drunk, gets in her car, drives to a bar, drinks some more, and has a little accident...
Usagi smiled gently at Ami, who returned the smile cheerfully. "Thanks for the roses, Ami-chan! Oh yeah, and thanks a million for healing my bones." She smirked. "The doctors are going to throw a fit when they see this one. Thanks for coming in to visit Yohji-kun!"
The man grinned. "It was the least I could do after you set me up with this little firecracker..."
Ami went beet red and bowed quickly out of the room, making Usagi and Yohji laugh. The blonde flipped her hair over her shoulder and raised her eyes to Yohji. "You really like Ami, ne?"
Yohji grimaced. "Unfortunately, yes-don't laugh! You are in no position to be judging anyone's love life, 'Sagi," he said with a fearsome scowl.
Usagi flinched backwards at Yohji's comment. Of all the people--! She could have expected him to say something like that-there was no hope of Yohji EVER learning from anything! Her eyes went glassy, and her lips stretched into a straight line.
"It was wonderful seeing you Yohji-san, but you really must be going now. I need my daily dose of heavy painkillers-my body just can't keep up with the strain of talking," she said as nicely as she could.
Yohji frowned and took a step forward. "What'd I say?" he demanded.
Her eyebrows drew together. "Nothing. I want you to leave! Get out of here, dammit! I have to pee!"
Yohji glared at her and backed up. "One of these days Usagi, you're going to figure out that not everything is a matter of that insufferable pride of yours," he snapped.
She laughed. "Pride? What pride? I've got to pee, dammit!"
He turned around without another word and left. Usagi sat there, bandaged hands clenching the white sheet. She bowed her head, letting her bangs fall over her eyes. A few tears tried to squeeze their way down her cheeks, but she stubbornly held them back. Why did she always have to make such a royal mess of everything? Arg! She made herself so MAD sometimes! She should just fess up- her love life was going down the crap hole, and she was in major time denial. It was time for some changes.
Usagi's teeth bit lightly into her lower lip as she tried to think. Changes. Yes, change was definitely good. Maybe a change of identity, too? Well, she could be Serenity wherever she decided to go. Serenity was actually a pretty kickass lady-she could fight AND look cool at the same time. And Usagi wasn't completely certain, but she was pretty damn sure that Serenity had a personal subspace pocket where various clothes had accumulated spontaneously over the years.
Her blue eyes scanned the room. Where had she put that stupid crystal anyways? She tried to think back, and then cringed when she remembered, well, that she remembered absolutely nothing from the night before, which could lead to some pretty wild ideas if she didn't keep her imagination in check.
The sudden crack of energy whipped through her room, and then something dropped into her lap. She labored to get her mind back from its scramble for sanity and looked down to study the large round object in her lap. It was an oblong globe, made entirely of shimmering black rock that did not reflect the light cast by the window, or even the fluorescent lighting. Usagi studied it with her ever alert blue eyes, wondering why there seemed to be a small black shadow thrown against what looked to be a very large window. She watched in stunned amazement as a taller, more female figure glided against the window. The woman bent down and kissed the small shadow's head.
She blinked. Okay, that was different, she thought nervously. No reason to get all excited. Usagi tapped the rock experimentally and was shocked into paralysis by the jolt of power that rocketed through her arm and into her body. Her heart skipped a beat, and Usagi found herself working painstakingly just to steady her breathing.
"What the hell?" she demanded of the rock, which was now glowing a suspicious silver lined with veins of black and gold.
Her eyebrows arched. "No way," she muttered. "Hey, turn me back into Serenity," she commanded.
There was utter silence for approximately three seconds, and then the black rock exploded with a huge burst of that not-quite-silver magic. The room was completely filled with the snapping and roaring of the power, and then suddenly it was gone. Usagi looked desperately around the room, grasping for any rationalization whatsoever for what had just happened to her.
Ha! A rationalization? There was none. Usagi expelled her captured breath and leaned gratefully against the fluffy white pillow. Apparently the rock wasn't the Crystal-it was just some other immensely power artifact. Obviously. It had been dumb of her to even speculate that it WAS the Crystal. The moon goddess herself had made the Crystal, and Usagi seriously doubted that a mere princess could change the initial purity of the stupid rock.
She jumped as someone knocked on her door and pushed it open. It was a small boy that she didn't know. BAD NEWS. Usagi stared him unabashedly as he walked towards her with a large bouquet of daisies. His green eyes were wide with welcome, and a big smile stretched across his face.
"Ohayo Usagi-chan! I brought you some of your favorite flowers!" he said cheerfully, handing them to the properly shocked woman.
The little boy carefully removed his baseball cap, set it on her bedside table, and sat down in a chair. He screwed up his mouth and scooted the chair closer. Once this Olympian feat was accomplished, he grasped Usagi's hand and beamed at her.
"Isn't this better? Mama always used to tell me that women liked to be pampered and treated like they matter-which, unlike most, you do-so here I am! How are you feeling?"
Usagi managed to close her mouth, and smiled warmly at him. She couldn't help it, but she absolutely loved children. They were so innocent, and so capable of love unhindered by jealousy, lust, or even shame. But first thing was first. She wasn't Sailor Moon for no reason, and there were repercussions for everything. One such effect of being a superhero was that she was slightly obsessed with knowing every face, and every name of everyone who expressed any kind of interest in her whatsoever.
"Who are you?" she demanded. Okay, so it was as nice as she was going to let herself get.
The boy smiled. "Watashi wa Jaki Akurei. I'm not surprised you don't remember me, Usagi-chan. We met quite a while ago. Now do you like your flowers?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it," Usagi protested, "how long ago did we meet? By the way, how old are you?"
Jaki smiled. "I'm seven, Usagi-chan. I can't remember how we met-I don't keep tabs on the "when" of things; it's utterly pointless. Things are always changing so much anyways. You never answered me, Usagi-chan," he said sadly.
"Oh, I love the flowers! How did you know my favorites were daisies? Most people think my favorite's roses or something, which is shit-oh, crap. Forget I said those words, okay?"
Jaki nodded, and smiled again. Usagi couldn't help bust smile back. That boyish grin of his was infectious. If he only had an older brother.. this Jaki kid was going to be a lady killer once he grew up.
"Usagi-chan, is there someone you love?" he asked suddenly.
Her blonde head whipped up, and an image of Duo flashed through her mind. What the hell had made him ask that? Damn kid, she thought angrily. Angrily? She stopped herself right there. She had no right to be angry with him. She was angry with herself because she wasn't forgetting Duo. Usagi laughed nervously and plucked from the table the bouquet of roses that Ami and Yohji had given her.
"No, no, I don't love anyone right now. Love is a very strong word, Jaki."
He cocked his head. "Yeah, but... You're lying, Usagi-chan. Can you tell me what's going on, please? Your eyes are so sad," he explained.
"There's nothing going on, Jaki!" she snapped.
The little boy sat back in his chair and smiled sadly at her. "You'll be the death of us all, Usagi-chan," he said softly.
Usagi eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me?" she asked incredulously.
He squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them again. "I came here looking for some answers, Usagi-chan. I could never understand anyone's point of view concerning you, and so I completely ignored you. But then they put me on this job, and I figured I might as well know the woman that everything's going haywire over. It truly was nice seeing you, Usagi-chan," he sighed with a smile.
The blonde woman stared at him in shock, and then in indignation. "You can't just leave! Especially after that little "soul-bearing" of yours! Get back here, dammit! Where the hell do you think you're going?" she demanded.
He stopped at the door and turned back to her with a smile. "You shredded your roses," he said simply. And then he was gone.
Usagi stared furiously after him, and then looked down at her lap. "Shit!"
*
John Mikell, a dutiful London copper, looked at his paperwork in disgust. He was a policeman! There were not supposed to be any papers involved in the act of beating bad guys up and sending them to jail! God, sometimes he wanted to shoot the buggers and have done with.
The phone rang, bringing him from his sour ranting. He yanked the phone from the cradle and shoved it to his ear. "What the hell do you want?" he snarled.
He stopped breathing for a second, and then began again. "Yeah. You want to do WHAT? Oh. Yeah. With that old crone? I'm telling ya, she's a damn buzzard! Feeds off of the young girls, she does. Right-o. Yep. Nooooo. Absolutely not. What? You did WHAT? I see. Well, that'd be against my- don't say I don't have any ethics, because I do! I simply choose to use them whenever it's most convenient. Oh, shut your mouth woman. Right, sorry. I don't-fine! But if my wife finds out you called-but-okay, I'll do it. Who do you want me to call? Yeah? What's his number?" Mike demanded.
He scrambled for a piece of paper and scribbled down the phone number. "Bye sweetie. See you around sometime!"
Mike hung up with a sigh. Women were going to be the death of him, he thought sourly as he eyed the number on the scrap of paper.
*
"WHO DARED TO TOUCH MY PAPERS?" the doctor roared.
The room was completely silent, as all eyes were focused entirely on him. The doctor was in a state of complete disarray: his tie was part undone, his scrubs were wrinkled and dirty, his eyes were wild, and his hair was sticking in every which direction. Dr. Jaikotu (they liked to call him Dr. Jekyll) took a deep breath.
"I swear to God that if anyone tells me right now no one will get any punishment," he said softly.
A nurse let out a sob. "I'm sorry Dr. Jaikotu! I'm sorry! I was going to put them in the filing cabinet! Forgive me! Please!"
It was a known fact that the not-so-good doctor was obsessive-compulsive about his papers, and would go to the point of attacking people for his papers' sakes. The only reason that they didn't fire him was because he was the best in the hospital.
"Dr. Jaikotu, there's a call for you on line nine," the secretary said in her monotone voice.
"Right," he snarled as he tore the phone from her yielding hand. "What? YOU! You always get me in trouble! Leave me be! I want nothing- what? You do? Who in God's name..? Oh. I see. Really? Well that's interesting. Never thought I'd see them again, let alone their-yes. Of course, dipshit. No, I'm swearing at the nurse standing about a foot below my line of vision. Of course she's short you numbskull, that's why-no, I'm talking to the nurse again. Of all the dumb shit things to say--! Yes, my dear friend, it's that damn nurse again. Of course I hate-no. I'm being full of jokes. Shut the hell up, you goddamn bastard! Yeah, I'll do it, now NEVER TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN YOU STUPID SHIT!"
Dr. Jaikotu slammed the phone back down and stalked towards his office completely ignoring the secretary who was staring after him in complete shock.
*
A week later:
Ikuko knocked on Usagi's door, and was pleasantly surprised when it just swung open. She entered the room nervously, closely trailed by Chibiusa, Shingo, and Kenji. What Ikuko found in the room was not what she had expected.
There was a woman standing by the bed, shouting at moving men, who were packing all of her things into boxes. The workers didn't seem to mind, and kept coming back up to her flexing their muscles and asking what else they could do for her. It probably gave the woman an advantage wearing a spaghetti strap and a tiny skirt.
"Usagi?" Ikuko gasped. Was that seriously her little girl?
The blonde woman turned, light glinting sharply off the thick silver streaks in her hair. Her thin, expertly waxed eyebrow arched, and a mocking smile curved her shiny pink lips.
"Mom," she stated more than greeted.
Ikuko's jaw dropped. This stately woman would not have been her daughter, even in her wildest dreams. This woman was beautiful. She had this air of royalty-she carried herself with pride, and talked like she was someone that should be listened to. The Usagi that had moved out after college was NOT this self-assured woman of grace, beauty, and, well, an extraordinarily sharp tongue.
"What are you doing out of bed? The doctor said that you had two broken legs, several broken ribs, a deep cut in your skull, and a broken collarbone! You should not even be able to stand!"
Usagi flicked her hand in a dismissive manner. "Oh, that. It's nothing. And Mom? Forget that debt to Aunt Elizabeth. You're paying it off."
Ikuko gaped. "How do you know about that?" she demanded.
Shingo frowned. "What debt?"
"Usagi, no!"
The blonde flashed a contemptuous look at Ikuko. "It's nothing he hasn't seen on TV anyways. See, Ma hasn't told us a very deep, secretive, and wonderfully exciting aspect of our family history. Seems that we run this huge crime ring, kind of like the mafia. Way back a few years ago a stunningly clever and beautiful Ikuko Amano* was hanging out at a bar with a rival crime lord. Something happened, and there was a shootout. Aunt Elizabeth took a bullet for Mom. Then one of Ikuko's admirers took a bullet meant for Ikuko, and then tripped and fell in the way of a bullet meant for yet another one of Ikuko's suitors. He never told, however, because Ikuko gave him a kiss for his bravery and selflessness."
Chibiusa frowned. She didn't like any of this. "Great story Usagi-chan, but what does that have to do with anything?"
Usagi sniffed. "I made a call to that first man and asked him if he'd talk to Aunt Elizabeth about repaying that debt. Then he called up that man he saved, who turns out to be my doctor, and asked if he'd overlook the alcohol in my blood. The good Dr. said yes, so now I'm off to London to stay with Aunt Elizabeth for about a few months. I'll be back by the beginning of December."
Kenji turned to Ikuko. "You were in a crime ring?"
"Did ya have a gun?" Shingo asked.
Chibiusa, however, refrained from asking Ikuko questions and marched over to Usagi. "Have you asked Setsuna yet?" she asked.
Usagi shook her head. "She visited me, but I was always too drugged up to be coherent about anything. Don't worry about it. If it were my choice, I wouldn't want to know. Some things just work, but then fall apart once you learn about them. Like, maybe something horrible happened back there and everything's gone, but you wouldn't know that so you wouldn't be tempted to go and try to help, therefore preserving your life for a bit longer. See? It all works out. I've got to go, Chibi. Remember to keep in touch with those contacts," she said with a smile.
The short teen snorted, but nodded anyways. Usagi smirked and edged out of the room, snickering to herself about how terminally stupid her parents were. Shingo was worth keeping-he was smart. Chibiusa was alright, but Usagi really thought she could do without the brat. And her parents hadn't even recognized her! What a laugh. Stupid people bugged her.
She teleported outside and automatically began searching for her Jeep. Then a horrible realization came over her. Her Jeep was gone.
Gone.
Gone!
Usagi sat down on the curb and let the tears come. She sat like that for what must have been a half hour before she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"You okay?"
"No," she said sullenly, looking up. And then gasping. "Eh he, he. hi Diamond," she said uncertainly.
He grinned. "What's wrong?"
"My car was totaled in a wreck," she said tersely, and then felt the tears building back up.
"Here now, how about we go get you a new car? I have my car here, and it's only a small drive to the dealer. Money isn't any option, is it? No, I didn't think so. People like us are overly enthusiastic about our cars, aren't we?"
Usagi nodded, stood up, and gave him a big hug. Diamond stood there in shock, and then slid his arms around her waist. Suddenly Usagi pulled back and dangled his keys in front of him.
"Gotcha," she said laughing as she sprinted as quickly as she could towards his very classy silver BMW convertible.
"Serenity!" he yelled.
Usagi vaulted into the driver's seat... and found herself suddenly sitting on Diamond's lap. She made a small sound of surprise, and spun around to face him. She met his violet eyes and found herself suddenly thinking of Duo.
"I think you need to move, kind sir," she said loudly.
"Of course. I was hoping to get here before you, but apparently I was delayed in my efforts. Drive on, Lady Serenity."
He teleported into the passenger seat and buckled the seatbelt snugly around his waist, which Usagi was having a hard time ignoring. Dammit! She knew there was a reason that she hated body shirts! They were so detrimental towards concentration on something OTHER than a beautiful guy's upper body... and Diamond was definitely- NO! She gave herself a hearty mental slap and slammed her foot down on the gas.
They roared down the highway, their hair streaming behind them in silver and blonde waves. Usagi randomly stabbed radio buttons, and then finally settled to "Light My Fire" by The Doors.
Diamond looked very much like he was going to be very, very sick. "Are you TRYING to make me puke?" he howled miserably over to Usagi, who completely ignored him.
The duo finally reached the dealership (much to Diamond's profound relief). Usagi opened the door and stepped stately out onto the asphalt. A man in a suit was instantly at her side.
"What can I do for you, ma'am?"
Usagi surveyed the lot, and immediately found the car she wanted. She wanted a stomping car. She wanted a car that could kick the asses of all other cars on the road. Before, she had gone for the car that could literally destroy a smaller car-but she had just seen the car of her dreams.
It was a tiny black Porsche convertible with beautiful beige seats and the most gorgeous sound system she had ever seen. The dealer looked over at her.
"I take it you want that one," he commented with a laugh.
She looked glacially at him and informed him that she wanted to close the deal on the car of her dreams.
Usagi parked her car by the front sidewalk of her house and let out a long suffering sigh. Her life was so goddamn hectic that it wasn't even qualified as a cosmic joke anymore. She pocketed her keys and walked up to her door. Unlocking that, she crept inside. You never knew who was in her house.
What she saw made her smile. There was no one there. Perfect. She walked into the living room and picked up any stray socks. Then she continued up towards her room. Usagi pushed the door open and walked over to her dresser. She pulled it open and sighed. A pair of Duo's boxers smiled up at her. She pushed them aside and slipped into her gray workout shorts and her white spaghetti strap. She shoved her feet into a pair of dark blue slippers and began gathering up the various shirts, boxers, socks, pants, shorts, papers, and anything else that was a reminder of Duo in her home.
Once she had collected all of that, she walked outside and very carefully dug a large hole. She ringed that hole with blocks of granite and then dumped all of his clothes into the pit. Then she took out a canteen of kerosene from the tool shed and poured it all over the clothes. She placed the kerosene down by the back wall of her house, and then pressed her back against that same wall. Usagi let out a heavy sigh and slid down until she was sitting on the dirt. She opened the box of matches and took one out. Lighting it, she flipped it into the pit of clothes. It ignited with a roar, and she watched the clothes burn blankly, letting the flames dance in her dark eyes.
Was it enough? Would it ever be enough to forget do? Would anything ever be enough to forget him? She hoped so. She hoped so, because there was no fixing what had been done. But she could try. So she let it burn.
After a while she reached over and pushed play on her CD player. "Thanks, That Was Fun" by the Barenaked Ladies came drifting out of the speakers as she watched the fire. She shifted, and then pulled a card from beneath her. It was a thank you card from Duo-a thank you card simply saying thank you for being alive. She blinked back sudden tears and tossed it into the flames. Then the song was over and she burnt that too.
_____________________
*I have no idea what her maiden name is! Cut me some slack here!
Meh. So how'd y'all like it? I thought it was kinda cool, but hey. I'm biased. I have more recommendations! In addition to reading watergoddess' fics, you've gotta read some stuff by Robin the Jarbog. Kind weird stuff (creepy weird), but VERY good. Ehm. reviews are always appreciated, and critique is always helpful!
Chapter Five
In our last episode, Usagi, Mamoru, and Chibiusa duke it out over how exactly the little demon *cough* GIRL, excuse me, she's alive, but then Usagi gets mildly upset and scares them all away. After a completely irrelevant and pointless conversation with a French couple, Usagi gives Chibiusa a kick start into the world of flirtation, deception, and dinner parties. Usagi wins her little bet with Yohji, but then immediately is shocked and more than a little bit upset when she sees Duo and Saori kissing. She promptly gets drunk, gets in her car, drives to a bar, drinks some more, and has a little accident...
Usagi smiled gently at Ami, who returned the smile cheerfully. "Thanks for the roses, Ami-chan! Oh yeah, and thanks a million for healing my bones." She smirked. "The doctors are going to throw a fit when they see this one. Thanks for coming in to visit Yohji-kun!"
The man grinned. "It was the least I could do after you set me up with this little firecracker..."
Ami went beet red and bowed quickly out of the room, making Usagi and Yohji laugh. The blonde flipped her hair over her shoulder and raised her eyes to Yohji. "You really like Ami, ne?"
Yohji grimaced. "Unfortunately, yes-don't laugh! You are in no position to be judging anyone's love life, 'Sagi," he said with a fearsome scowl.
Usagi flinched backwards at Yohji's comment. Of all the people--! She could have expected him to say something like that-there was no hope of Yohji EVER learning from anything! Her eyes went glassy, and her lips stretched into a straight line.
"It was wonderful seeing you Yohji-san, but you really must be going now. I need my daily dose of heavy painkillers-my body just can't keep up with the strain of talking," she said as nicely as she could.
Yohji frowned and took a step forward. "What'd I say?" he demanded.
Her eyebrows drew together. "Nothing. I want you to leave! Get out of here, dammit! I have to pee!"
Yohji glared at her and backed up. "One of these days Usagi, you're going to figure out that not everything is a matter of that insufferable pride of yours," he snapped.
She laughed. "Pride? What pride? I've got to pee, dammit!"
He turned around without another word and left. Usagi sat there, bandaged hands clenching the white sheet. She bowed her head, letting her bangs fall over her eyes. A few tears tried to squeeze their way down her cheeks, but she stubbornly held them back. Why did she always have to make such a royal mess of everything? Arg! She made herself so MAD sometimes! She should just fess up- her love life was going down the crap hole, and she was in major time denial. It was time for some changes.
Usagi's teeth bit lightly into her lower lip as she tried to think. Changes. Yes, change was definitely good. Maybe a change of identity, too? Well, she could be Serenity wherever she decided to go. Serenity was actually a pretty kickass lady-she could fight AND look cool at the same time. And Usagi wasn't completely certain, but she was pretty damn sure that Serenity had a personal subspace pocket where various clothes had accumulated spontaneously over the years.
Her blue eyes scanned the room. Where had she put that stupid crystal anyways? She tried to think back, and then cringed when she remembered, well, that she remembered absolutely nothing from the night before, which could lead to some pretty wild ideas if she didn't keep her imagination in check.
The sudden crack of energy whipped through her room, and then something dropped into her lap. She labored to get her mind back from its scramble for sanity and looked down to study the large round object in her lap. It was an oblong globe, made entirely of shimmering black rock that did not reflect the light cast by the window, or even the fluorescent lighting. Usagi studied it with her ever alert blue eyes, wondering why there seemed to be a small black shadow thrown against what looked to be a very large window. She watched in stunned amazement as a taller, more female figure glided against the window. The woman bent down and kissed the small shadow's head.
She blinked. Okay, that was different, she thought nervously. No reason to get all excited. Usagi tapped the rock experimentally and was shocked into paralysis by the jolt of power that rocketed through her arm and into her body. Her heart skipped a beat, and Usagi found herself working painstakingly just to steady her breathing.
"What the hell?" she demanded of the rock, which was now glowing a suspicious silver lined with veins of black and gold.
Her eyebrows arched. "No way," she muttered. "Hey, turn me back into Serenity," she commanded.
There was utter silence for approximately three seconds, and then the black rock exploded with a huge burst of that not-quite-silver magic. The room was completely filled with the snapping and roaring of the power, and then suddenly it was gone. Usagi looked desperately around the room, grasping for any rationalization whatsoever for what had just happened to her.
Ha! A rationalization? There was none. Usagi expelled her captured breath and leaned gratefully against the fluffy white pillow. Apparently the rock wasn't the Crystal-it was just some other immensely power artifact. Obviously. It had been dumb of her to even speculate that it WAS the Crystal. The moon goddess herself had made the Crystal, and Usagi seriously doubted that a mere princess could change the initial purity of the stupid rock.
She jumped as someone knocked on her door and pushed it open. It was a small boy that she didn't know. BAD NEWS. Usagi stared him unabashedly as he walked towards her with a large bouquet of daisies. His green eyes were wide with welcome, and a big smile stretched across his face.
"Ohayo Usagi-chan! I brought you some of your favorite flowers!" he said cheerfully, handing them to the properly shocked woman.
The little boy carefully removed his baseball cap, set it on her bedside table, and sat down in a chair. He screwed up his mouth and scooted the chair closer. Once this Olympian feat was accomplished, he grasped Usagi's hand and beamed at her.
"Isn't this better? Mama always used to tell me that women liked to be pampered and treated like they matter-which, unlike most, you do-so here I am! How are you feeling?"
Usagi managed to close her mouth, and smiled warmly at him. She couldn't help it, but she absolutely loved children. They were so innocent, and so capable of love unhindered by jealousy, lust, or even shame. But first thing was first. She wasn't Sailor Moon for no reason, and there were repercussions for everything. One such effect of being a superhero was that she was slightly obsessed with knowing every face, and every name of everyone who expressed any kind of interest in her whatsoever.
"Who are you?" she demanded. Okay, so it was as nice as she was going to let herself get.
The boy smiled. "Watashi wa Jaki Akurei. I'm not surprised you don't remember me, Usagi-chan. We met quite a while ago. Now do you like your flowers?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it," Usagi protested, "how long ago did we meet? By the way, how old are you?"
Jaki smiled. "I'm seven, Usagi-chan. I can't remember how we met-I don't keep tabs on the "when" of things; it's utterly pointless. Things are always changing so much anyways. You never answered me, Usagi-chan," he said sadly.
"Oh, I love the flowers! How did you know my favorites were daisies? Most people think my favorite's roses or something, which is shit-oh, crap. Forget I said those words, okay?"
Jaki nodded, and smiled again. Usagi couldn't help bust smile back. That boyish grin of his was infectious. If he only had an older brother.. this Jaki kid was going to be a lady killer once he grew up.
"Usagi-chan, is there someone you love?" he asked suddenly.
Her blonde head whipped up, and an image of Duo flashed through her mind. What the hell had made him ask that? Damn kid, she thought angrily. Angrily? She stopped herself right there. She had no right to be angry with him. She was angry with herself because she wasn't forgetting Duo. Usagi laughed nervously and plucked from the table the bouquet of roses that Ami and Yohji had given her.
"No, no, I don't love anyone right now. Love is a very strong word, Jaki."
He cocked his head. "Yeah, but... You're lying, Usagi-chan. Can you tell me what's going on, please? Your eyes are so sad," he explained.
"There's nothing going on, Jaki!" she snapped.
The little boy sat back in his chair and smiled sadly at her. "You'll be the death of us all, Usagi-chan," he said softly.
Usagi eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me?" she asked incredulously.
He squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them again. "I came here looking for some answers, Usagi-chan. I could never understand anyone's point of view concerning you, and so I completely ignored you. But then they put me on this job, and I figured I might as well know the woman that everything's going haywire over. It truly was nice seeing you, Usagi-chan," he sighed with a smile.
The blonde woman stared at him in shock, and then in indignation. "You can't just leave! Especially after that little "soul-bearing" of yours! Get back here, dammit! Where the hell do you think you're going?" she demanded.
He stopped at the door and turned back to her with a smile. "You shredded your roses," he said simply. And then he was gone.
Usagi stared furiously after him, and then looked down at her lap. "Shit!"
*
John Mikell, a dutiful London copper, looked at his paperwork in disgust. He was a policeman! There were not supposed to be any papers involved in the act of beating bad guys up and sending them to jail! God, sometimes he wanted to shoot the buggers and have done with.
The phone rang, bringing him from his sour ranting. He yanked the phone from the cradle and shoved it to his ear. "What the hell do you want?" he snarled.
He stopped breathing for a second, and then began again. "Yeah. You want to do WHAT? Oh. Yeah. With that old crone? I'm telling ya, she's a damn buzzard! Feeds off of the young girls, she does. Right-o. Yep. Nooooo. Absolutely not. What? You did WHAT? I see. Well, that'd be against my- don't say I don't have any ethics, because I do! I simply choose to use them whenever it's most convenient. Oh, shut your mouth woman. Right, sorry. I don't-fine! But if my wife finds out you called-but-okay, I'll do it. Who do you want me to call? Yeah? What's his number?" Mike demanded.
He scrambled for a piece of paper and scribbled down the phone number. "Bye sweetie. See you around sometime!"
Mike hung up with a sigh. Women were going to be the death of him, he thought sourly as he eyed the number on the scrap of paper.
*
"WHO DARED TO TOUCH MY PAPERS?" the doctor roared.
The room was completely silent, as all eyes were focused entirely on him. The doctor was in a state of complete disarray: his tie was part undone, his scrubs were wrinkled and dirty, his eyes were wild, and his hair was sticking in every which direction. Dr. Jaikotu (they liked to call him Dr. Jekyll) took a deep breath.
"I swear to God that if anyone tells me right now no one will get any punishment," he said softly.
A nurse let out a sob. "I'm sorry Dr. Jaikotu! I'm sorry! I was going to put them in the filing cabinet! Forgive me! Please!"
It was a known fact that the not-so-good doctor was obsessive-compulsive about his papers, and would go to the point of attacking people for his papers' sakes. The only reason that they didn't fire him was because he was the best in the hospital.
"Dr. Jaikotu, there's a call for you on line nine," the secretary said in her monotone voice.
"Right," he snarled as he tore the phone from her yielding hand. "What? YOU! You always get me in trouble! Leave me be! I want nothing- what? You do? Who in God's name..? Oh. I see. Really? Well that's interesting. Never thought I'd see them again, let alone their-yes. Of course, dipshit. No, I'm swearing at the nurse standing about a foot below my line of vision. Of course she's short you numbskull, that's why-no, I'm talking to the nurse again. Of all the dumb shit things to say--! Yes, my dear friend, it's that damn nurse again. Of course I hate-no. I'm being full of jokes. Shut the hell up, you goddamn bastard! Yeah, I'll do it, now NEVER TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN YOU STUPID SHIT!"
Dr. Jaikotu slammed the phone back down and stalked towards his office completely ignoring the secretary who was staring after him in complete shock.
*
A week later:
Ikuko knocked on Usagi's door, and was pleasantly surprised when it just swung open. She entered the room nervously, closely trailed by Chibiusa, Shingo, and Kenji. What Ikuko found in the room was not what she had expected.
There was a woman standing by the bed, shouting at moving men, who were packing all of her things into boxes. The workers didn't seem to mind, and kept coming back up to her flexing their muscles and asking what else they could do for her. It probably gave the woman an advantage wearing a spaghetti strap and a tiny skirt.
"Usagi?" Ikuko gasped. Was that seriously her little girl?
The blonde woman turned, light glinting sharply off the thick silver streaks in her hair. Her thin, expertly waxed eyebrow arched, and a mocking smile curved her shiny pink lips.
"Mom," she stated more than greeted.
Ikuko's jaw dropped. This stately woman would not have been her daughter, even in her wildest dreams. This woman was beautiful. She had this air of royalty-she carried herself with pride, and talked like she was someone that should be listened to. The Usagi that had moved out after college was NOT this self-assured woman of grace, beauty, and, well, an extraordinarily sharp tongue.
"What are you doing out of bed? The doctor said that you had two broken legs, several broken ribs, a deep cut in your skull, and a broken collarbone! You should not even be able to stand!"
Usagi flicked her hand in a dismissive manner. "Oh, that. It's nothing. And Mom? Forget that debt to Aunt Elizabeth. You're paying it off."
Ikuko gaped. "How do you know about that?" she demanded.
Shingo frowned. "What debt?"
"Usagi, no!"
The blonde flashed a contemptuous look at Ikuko. "It's nothing he hasn't seen on TV anyways. See, Ma hasn't told us a very deep, secretive, and wonderfully exciting aspect of our family history. Seems that we run this huge crime ring, kind of like the mafia. Way back a few years ago a stunningly clever and beautiful Ikuko Amano* was hanging out at a bar with a rival crime lord. Something happened, and there was a shootout. Aunt Elizabeth took a bullet for Mom. Then one of Ikuko's admirers took a bullet meant for Ikuko, and then tripped and fell in the way of a bullet meant for yet another one of Ikuko's suitors. He never told, however, because Ikuko gave him a kiss for his bravery and selflessness."
Chibiusa frowned. She didn't like any of this. "Great story Usagi-chan, but what does that have to do with anything?"
Usagi sniffed. "I made a call to that first man and asked him if he'd talk to Aunt Elizabeth about repaying that debt. Then he called up that man he saved, who turns out to be my doctor, and asked if he'd overlook the alcohol in my blood. The good Dr. said yes, so now I'm off to London to stay with Aunt Elizabeth for about a few months. I'll be back by the beginning of December."
Kenji turned to Ikuko. "You were in a crime ring?"
"Did ya have a gun?" Shingo asked.
Chibiusa, however, refrained from asking Ikuko questions and marched over to Usagi. "Have you asked Setsuna yet?" she asked.
Usagi shook her head. "She visited me, but I was always too drugged up to be coherent about anything. Don't worry about it. If it were my choice, I wouldn't want to know. Some things just work, but then fall apart once you learn about them. Like, maybe something horrible happened back there and everything's gone, but you wouldn't know that so you wouldn't be tempted to go and try to help, therefore preserving your life for a bit longer. See? It all works out. I've got to go, Chibi. Remember to keep in touch with those contacts," she said with a smile.
The short teen snorted, but nodded anyways. Usagi smirked and edged out of the room, snickering to herself about how terminally stupid her parents were. Shingo was worth keeping-he was smart. Chibiusa was alright, but Usagi really thought she could do without the brat. And her parents hadn't even recognized her! What a laugh. Stupid people bugged her.
She teleported outside and automatically began searching for her Jeep. Then a horrible realization came over her. Her Jeep was gone.
Gone.
Gone!
Usagi sat down on the curb and let the tears come. She sat like that for what must have been a half hour before she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"You okay?"
"No," she said sullenly, looking up. And then gasping. "Eh he, he. hi Diamond," she said uncertainly.
He grinned. "What's wrong?"
"My car was totaled in a wreck," she said tersely, and then felt the tears building back up.
"Here now, how about we go get you a new car? I have my car here, and it's only a small drive to the dealer. Money isn't any option, is it? No, I didn't think so. People like us are overly enthusiastic about our cars, aren't we?"
Usagi nodded, stood up, and gave him a big hug. Diamond stood there in shock, and then slid his arms around her waist. Suddenly Usagi pulled back and dangled his keys in front of him.
"Gotcha," she said laughing as she sprinted as quickly as she could towards his very classy silver BMW convertible.
"Serenity!" he yelled.
Usagi vaulted into the driver's seat... and found herself suddenly sitting on Diamond's lap. She made a small sound of surprise, and spun around to face him. She met his violet eyes and found herself suddenly thinking of Duo.
"I think you need to move, kind sir," she said loudly.
"Of course. I was hoping to get here before you, but apparently I was delayed in my efforts. Drive on, Lady Serenity."
He teleported into the passenger seat and buckled the seatbelt snugly around his waist, which Usagi was having a hard time ignoring. Dammit! She knew there was a reason that she hated body shirts! They were so detrimental towards concentration on something OTHER than a beautiful guy's upper body... and Diamond was definitely- NO! She gave herself a hearty mental slap and slammed her foot down on the gas.
They roared down the highway, their hair streaming behind them in silver and blonde waves. Usagi randomly stabbed radio buttons, and then finally settled to "Light My Fire" by The Doors.
Diamond looked very much like he was going to be very, very sick. "Are you TRYING to make me puke?" he howled miserably over to Usagi, who completely ignored him.
The duo finally reached the dealership (much to Diamond's profound relief). Usagi opened the door and stepped stately out onto the asphalt. A man in a suit was instantly at her side.
"What can I do for you, ma'am?"
Usagi surveyed the lot, and immediately found the car she wanted. She wanted a stomping car. She wanted a car that could kick the asses of all other cars on the road. Before, she had gone for the car that could literally destroy a smaller car-but she had just seen the car of her dreams.
It was a tiny black Porsche convertible with beautiful beige seats and the most gorgeous sound system she had ever seen. The dealer looked over at her.
"I take it you want that one," he commented with a laugh.
She looked glacially at him and informed him that she wanted to close the deal on the car of her dreams.
Usagi parked her car by the front sidewalk of her house and let out a long suffering sigh. Her life was so goddamn hectic that it wasn't even qualified as a cosmic joke anymore. She pocketed her keys and walked up to her door. Unlocking that, she crept inside. You never knew who was in her house.
What she saw made her smile. There was no one there. Perfect. She walked into the living room and picked up any stray socks. Then she continued up towards her room. Usagi pushed the door open and walked over to her dresser. She pulled it open and sighed. A pair of Duo's boxers smiled up at her. She pushed them aside and slipped into her gray workout shorts and her white spaghetti strap. She shoved her feet into a pair of dark blue slippers and began gathering up the various shirts, boxers, socks, pants, shorts, papers, and anything else that was a reminder of Duo in her home.
Once she had collected all of that, she walked outside and very carefully dug a large hole. She ringed that hole with blocks of granite and then dumped all of his clothes into the pit. Then she took out a canteen of kerosene from the tool shed and poured it all over the clothes. She placed the kerosene down by the back wall of her house, and then pressed her back against that same wall. Usagi let out a heavy sigh and slid down until she was sitting on the dirt. She opened the box of matches and took one out. Lighting it, she flipped it into the pit of clothes. It ignited with a roar, and she watched the clothes burn blankly, letting the flames dance in her dark eyes.
Was it enough? Would it ever be enough to forget do? Would anything ever be enough to forget him? She hoped so. She hoped so, because there was no fixing what had been done. But she could try. So she let it burn.
After a while she reached over and pushed play on her CD player. "Thanks, That Was Fun" by the Barenaked Ladies came drifting out of the speakers as she watched the fire. She shifted, and then pulled a card from beneath her. It was a thank you card from Duo-a thank you card simply saying thank you for being alive. She blinked back sudden tears and tossed it into the flames. Then the song was over and she burnt that too.
_____________________
*I have no idea what her maiden name is! Cut me some slack here!
Meh. So how'd y'all like it? I thought it was kinda cool, but hey. I'm biased. I have more recommendations! In addition to reading watergoddess' fics, you've gotta read some stuff by Robin the Jarbog. Kind weird stuff (creepy weird), but VERY good. Ehm. reviews are always appreciated, and critique is always helpful!