The Cupid 500
Chapter Six
LAST TIME:
Jesus, what DID happen last time? I just re-read that chapter, too! Um. Let me think about this. *thinks* [five minutes later] Oh yeah. I remember. Usagi gets a visit from Ami and Yohji, and some freak kid who sounds a lot like he's either some mythical being out to get her or very seriously high. She then promptly decides that life is getting WAY too hectic and decides that some changes are in order. As a result of this long overdue decision, she makes plans to visit the leader of a large crime ring led by her Great-Aunt Elizabeth, whom currently resides in a large London estate. After her parents get over the shock of her choice (let alone the fact that she KNEW her mother had once been in a crime ring and had at one time been a major-time player in the game of hearts), Usagi heads home and burns everything that she still has of Duo's. Oh yes. She also buys a new car, because her poor Jeep was TOTALED in the wreck. Party on, dude.
I'm trying to get this finished by Christmas guys, hang in there, PLEASE! It's hard working under a deadline! I bow to the rest of you out there that are trying to crank out those Christmas stories along with me!!!! HA! Right, you laugh at my attempted Christmas story.. I figured that this story qualified, because it's going to have a really cute and sappy ending (As much so as I can make it, which is definitely not a guarantee) ON CHRISTMAS EVE. So HA! I win! *sticks tongue out at non-believers of the fact that Lily can write a Christmas story*
********
"USAGI!"
Someone pounded on her door. Usagi groaned and rolled over. Where the hell was she? She struggled to open her eyes, and then gave up after a while. Let her senses roam. Like the Indians. Prompted by this encouraging thought, she tried to figure out where she was-without the ever helpful assistance of her frigging eyes.
Okay. Wherever she was, it was cold. And it was kind of bumpy. And there was a bottle of something next to her. And. And. And. That's as far as she got, because the pounding resumed again.
"USAGI AI TSUKINO! WAKE UP AND GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!"
This interruption would not be tolerated! Usagi struggled to her feet and cracked her eyes open just a little. The light bled into her vision, making her swear loudly. She clutched at the side of her house and walked unsteadily towards the pounding noise. Whoever knew her middle name and was pounding on her door was going to get a lapful of barf as soon as she got her hands on that person.
She wobbled around the corner and was able to make out a shiny blonde head that was altogether too shiny to look at for long. Beside that shiny blonde head was another shiny black head, but that wasn't much better either because both of the heads made her eyes hurt. The two brown heads that were not shiny, on the other hand, did not make her eyes hurt. One of the brown heads was accompanied by a shiny blonde head-another one!-and was therefore taken out of her good book.
The first shiny blonde head pounded on the door again. "GET OUT HERE, USAGI AI TSUKINO! DON'T MAKE ME KICK YOUR DOOR DOWN!"
Usagi swore as loudly as her delicate state was capable of. "Jesus Christmas you goddamn bastards! Can't you my god I think aaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggg leave a poor girl alone in the morning, dammit?"
The second shiny blonde head leaped towards her, which was a very unnerving sight for poor Usagi. She stumbled backwards and waved her arms desperately. "My eyes! Oh JESUS my eyes! Sweet Jesus, take it away!"
She lost her balance, and was barely saved from falling backwards by the shiny black head. Usagi squeezed her eyes shut and pulled herself upright. Fumbling her way towards her door, she bumped into someone. She cracked an eye open and was relived to find that it was one of the brown heads. Usagi brought a silly smile to her face and then passed out.
The next time she woke up she felt like Hell warmed over. Her eyes opened more quickly this time, and it didn't hurt nearly as much as it had the first time. There was a ring of concerned faces above her, which made her kind of nervous.
"Hey guys," she croaked.
Minako felt her forehead. "Are you okay? I mean, we were kind of worried seeing you walk out from behind your house drunk off your ass."
Usagi batted her hand away. "I'm fine," she said groggily, "I just had a little too much celebratory drink last night," she tried to explain.
"Why didn't you tell us you were in the hospital?" Quatre demanded.
"I didn't tell anyone!" Usagi snapped. "I don't know how Ami, Yohji, and that high kid found me! It was too embarrassing!"
Wufei raised an eyebrow. ""That high kid"?" he questioned.
Her face grew darker and she tried to sit (with little success). "Yeah, some kid came in and started babbling about how he was "put on the job" or whatever that means and how I'll "be the death of them all". It was weird, Fei-kun," she complained.
"What was his name?" Quatre wanted to know.
Usagi answered while doing her upper body acrobatics, or what she generally (and soberly) liked to call "sitting up". "Damned if I remember. Something that started with a "J". That's all I can remember. Damn, I don't remember anything except Ami, getting mad at Yohji, the roses, the high kid, and the daisies," she said, running a hand across her face.
Hiiro's frown worsened. "You were drinking and driving."
She glared at him. "Well what do you think? I was drunk, and all my friends deserted me to go off and get laid with their new boyfriends OR girlfriends while I'm sitting there in a fancy dress drunk off my ass and feeling bad for myself! What do you EXPECT me to do besides nearly kill myself in a bout of stupidity? Gallivant off and sing "tralalalala" in a field of pretty pink flowers? No!"
"I didn't think there were any fields of pink flowers in the middle of Tokyo," Hiiro commented dryly.
"And now I have a bad hangover and you're laughing at me!" she exclaimed angrily. "What the hell did you guys come over here for anyways? Jesus, you all sure know how to treat a girl," she said sarcastically.
Wufei crossed his arms. "Usagi, that doesn't change the fact that you were drunk and driving! You could have killed yourself! Do you know what that would have done to all of us?" he asked, uncharacteristically quiet.
Usagi started, and then sighed. "Aw, come on guys-"
"How about this, Usagi," Quatre said fiercely, "if you drink and drive ever again, I will personally see to it that all those little secrets you told me find their way into eager ears."
Minako gasped, spinning on Usagi with a twirl that made the blonde bunny's head gurgle its last breath and topple sideways. "You TOLD him?" she demanded.
"Told him what?" Usagi asked in a panic, trying desperately to remember what, exactly, she had told her mildly evil blonde friend.
"That you're-"
"No!" Usagi shouted, yanking on Minako's blonde locks. "No," she repeated again, "I did NOT tell him that, even though he would have known in a second!"
"Let go of my hair! And how was I supposed to know what you told him? I just assumed-"
"My foot!" Usagi exclaimed hotly.
"According to Ami, your foot is going to be treading English soil for the next few months," Trowa said mildly, waiting for the much desired and inevitable reaction.
"WHAT?" was the collective cry of outrage.
Usagi moaned and fumbled for the pillow, which Hiiro promptly captured and threw at the television, which made Usagi cringe. Quatre thumped her on the golden head.
"Why are you going to England?" he asked tremblingly, with that mean serial- killer destroyer puppy dog face. Usagi felt her walls trembling, buckling, and then breaking down. Her lower lip began to tremble, and then she burst into tears.
"I just can't handle this anymore! My life is a total mess! I messed up with Endymion, I messed up with Mamoru, I messed up with that one kid, I messed up with that one other guy, I messed up with Duo, I messed up with Yohji, I messed up with Diamond, I messed up with my family, and I'm no good to anyone because I'm just a good for nothing drunk who goes out with guys and makes huge scenes and drives cool cars! I'm worthless! I just need to get away!" she sobbed into Quatre's shirt.
Hiiro, uncomfortable with this unusual display of emotion, scratched his chin and looked pointedly at the floor. Quatre, eyes soft, wrapped his arms around her, trying to calm her down. Wufei watched Usagi's shaking form uncertainly, like he didn't know what to do with this brand new side of the player. Trowa looked smug, which was a fact that pissed Minako off to no end. Why the heck would the man look so satisfied? Unless-- With this new thought, Minako sharpened her scenes, watching him for a few minutes, and then looked back at Usagi.
Minako smiled softly and touched her friend's shoulder. "Sere, don't worry about it. No one's pressuring you to be with anyone. Just try being single. And I'm sure if you work hard enough, England will be just too much fun to worry about your problems," she said consolingly.
Usagi raised her tearstained face and looked miserably at Minako, like it was just one more thing to add to her list of grievances. "Why is everybody calling me that lately?" she asked with a definite tremble in her voice.
Her fellow female blonde furrowed her brow and took a visible mental jump back. "What're you going on about now?" Receiving a hiccupped sob from Usagi, Minako raised her hands up as if to say "stop, stop, stop!". "Are you meaning to say that you haven't looked in a mirror lately?"
Now dejected, confused and a little nervous, Usagi shook her head minutely. "No, I've been drunk ever since I got home, and they didn't give me a mirror in my room, because they thought I might be suicidal, based on the other times I had been in there."
"Then you don't know!" Minako gasped. "Usagi, that's awful!"
"Know what?" Usagi nearly wailed. What the hell was going on here? Why were there so many things that she didn't know all of a sudden? It was driving her absolutely NUTS! She swore to God that one of these days she was going to get over her bout of depression and go homicidal and murder whoever gave the "go" for her life.
Minako cast a look at the intensely curious boys and gently tugged Usagi away from Quatre, making the blonde take a lurching step to avoid falling. Usagi was NOT in a happy mood. Her life was NOT going well at the given moment. Minako yanked Usagi down the hall and whipped inside the tech room. She pushed Usagi into the swivel chair and dropped down into the rocking chair.
"Usagi, what's the difference between you and Serenity?"
Usagi pulled her long legs up onto the black chair and crossed them neatly beneath her. "Well, Serenity has silver hair. Mostly anyways. It's like a silver blondish. And she's got the mark on her head. And she usually has that mythical whore dress on. What?" she asked defensively to Minako's incredulous stare.
"Whore dress?" the woman echoed with an amused smile.
"Well... yeah. You didn't have to wear it! Half the time my chest was falling out of the damn top! And that stupid thing tore easily, too! It was a romance novel's dream come true, but-"
"Enough, enough, enough! We're not here to talk about your whore dress! Usagi, you are Serenity! Check a mirror or something! You're Serenity, and you have been for a while from the looks of it! You can barely see the mark, and that's only if you know it's there!"
Usagi's blue eyes opened wide. "You're joking," she said in astonishment, all traces of earlier tears gone.
"No!"
"You're joking."
"No, I'm not!"
"But that wasn't the Crystal," Usagi said with a quiver in her voice. On top of all things--!
Minako raised an eyebrow. "What wasn't the Crystal?" she asked curiously.
Usagi reached down into her shirt and pulled out the black rock. The shadow-play was still going on, this time with a more mature female shadow and a taller small figure. The woman bent down and kissed the other's head, but the small one moved his head and captured the woman in a kiss. This progressed, until- Usagi blushed scarlet and averted her eyes.
"I thought this wasn't the crystal, since you know, this isn't what the crystal looks like, and in addition to that it's magic is almost wholly dark! Not evil, really, but dark. It's not the kind of magic Serenity or Artemis would put in their ultimate jewel. It fell onto my lap the other day and I asked to become Serenity. I guess I did. But here's the problem, Minako. This crystal's ten times as the old one could ever even DREAM of being, which is pretty damn powerful. This means I could kick the collective asses of ten Beryls without breaking a sweat! Don't you think there's something WRONG with that?"
Minako bit her lip. "I don't know, Sere-chan. This would be something for Ami-chan to figure out. I'm not the brains of the bunch, remember?"
Usagi sighed and leaned back against the chair. "I dunno-"
She was cut off by the wail of the alarm. Minako shrieked and ran for the door. She yanked it open and ran into the hall. "Fire! Fire! Everyone run!"
Usagi raced into the hall and leaped at Minako. "MINAKO! THAT'S NOT THE FIRE ALARM! THAT'S THE OTHER ONE, YOU DUMB SHIT! NOW COME ON!"
Minako stopped thrashing around and stood perfectly stiff. "A youma alert?"
Usagi sighed and touched her fingertips to her temples. "Hai. A youma alert. Are the boys still here?"
"No, I don't think so. Let's transform! VENUS CRYSTAL POWER!"
"Dammit, Minako! Moon Eternal Power! Jesus I hate this transforming-oi! Is it just me or is this transformation getting WAY shorter?" Usagi asked, yanking at the hem of her fuku skirt (if you could call it a skirt).
"Oh my God," Venus gasped.
"What now?" Moon demanded. Why did she have to fight with a hangover? Jesus Christ, someone out there really did have a death wish for her, and it wasn't someone very nice either!
"Well find a mirror you dumbass! Your fuku's changed! The skirt's black, dark dark blue, and dark blue! Your bodice thing is this really light gray! The lining on everything is gold, but-"
"V-babe, we don't have time for that. We've gotta fly, or else someone's gonna get their asses kicked,"
Sailor Moon's communicator went off, making her groan. She flipped it open, and Mercury's face loomed in front of her. "Moon, get down here! Yohji's hurt, and, um, the other civilians are trying to shoot at it! I can't handle this alone! I'm not on the offence!"
"Okay, I've got your position. We'll be down in a few seconds. Get your butt up Venus, we're going to be doing some sloppy teleportation here really soon."
"Why me?" the other blonde begged.
"Because we all love you," Moon quipped lightly before disappearing with her shaking cargo.
There was silence in the house for a few seconds until some quiet swearing and shuffling could be heard. There was a muffled snort, and then a loud expletive. This was followed by a heavy sigh.
"You've got to wonder how we miss these things," a depressed Quatre mumbled.
*
"This isn't very much fun," the youma said mournfully.
Duo swore loudly and fired at it again. The distinctly female youma turned and glared at him, and then turned back to Sailor Mercury, who was holding her bleeding arm. The hateful look on her face was almost too much to handle. Yohji moaned in pain and tried to sit up, but Mercury pushed him back down.
"Stay down. I'll take care of this thing," she vowed. "Smoking Mirror!" she cried. Thin pieces of smoking mirror crept out of her skin and then zipped through the air and entered the youma's body with tiny thuds.
The youma screamed in pain and dropped to one knee. Someone let out a low whistle from above. "Okay Me-chan, that was definitely the creepiest thing I have EVER seen in my entire life, and that's saying something!"
Moon and Venus dropped down from the sky. Venus hopped over and thumped Mercury on the back. "Isn't this cool? We keep on getting these new-"
"Destructive," Moon said darkly.
"-powers!" Venus continued, determined to look on the slightly gray bright side.
"I'll kill you," the youma hissed, struggling to its feet. "I'll kill you!" it repeated with a furious scream.
"Stuff it," Moon muttered before wings burst from her back and she pushed off the ground and pumped higher into the sky. "CLEAR OUT!" she bellowed. "Triple Beam!"
The black energy acted much the same as it had last time, but this time something new happened. Once the youma had been completely obliterated, the access energy massed together and then came shooting back up at the utterly shocked Sailor Moon. She caught it purely by reflex and then screeched in pain.
"Jesus H. Christ this stuff hurts like hell!" she yelped as she plummeted towards the ground.
Black magic exploded in her hands and then formed into a small, crackling black sphere of energy. Moon touched down on the ground and touched it experimentally. The black energy snapped over her fingers- almost welcomingly. She almost smiled.
"Okay, that's got to be the second weirdest thing I've ever seen. Dammit, I wish the crap would quit doing weird things like that! I mean, my magic needs to make up its frigging mind on what the hell it's going to do. I kinda like it this way though, because this way I don't blow any five mile holes in the ground, you know? Oi, Me-chan, that was an awesome attack! Where'd you learn it?"
Mercury looked darkly at Moon. "Probably the same place Mars, you, and Venus learned theirs. What's with the new fuku? And why is the Crystal black?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Moon said, turning her nose upwards.
"What she means," Venus said helpfully, "is that she hasn't got the faintest idea."
"Gee, thanks V-babe."
"Anytime!"
"I swear to God Venus-"
"Children!" Mercury snapped. Once she had their attention she continued. "Moon, can you heal Yohji-kun? Onegai?" she pleaded with her deep blue eyes.
Moon snorted. "That's the least I can do for him," she said with a smile.
The blonde walked carefully over to the man, who was nearly delirious from pain. Moon bent down and placed her hands above his chest. She made a little face at him, and then concentrated. She began to glow a bright silver. Then the black and gold cords began snapping through it. The small pet that Moon had apparently adopted flashed a warning silver. Moon glanced up and nodded, clamping her power down until it was a steady silver once again.
She let out a steady breath and then let her power pour over the man. He began to glow a color similar to hers, and then suddenly he sat up with a gasp. Yohji looked around, and then his eyes landed on Sailor Moon, who was grinning cheekily at him.
"Ohayo," she said with a laugh.
"U-"
The impending word was cut off by three sets of hands going over his mouth. He rolled his eyes and pushed their hands away. "Ladies, there's man enough of me to go around! Share!"
"You WISH you were man enough-" Sailor Moon began.
"Excuse me, but my friend over here is hurt pretty badly. Can you help her, please?"
Sailor Moon looked up and found herself looking right into Duo's eyes. Those eyes made her stop and forget to breathe for a second, but then Mercury coughed loudly and Moon snapped out of it.
"Sure, sure, sure. Of course you'd want me to heal Saori," she muttered.
"How did you know her name was Saori?" Duo asked in surprise.
Moon didn't hesitate. "I know everything," she said importantly. That I need to know, she added mentally. And I know everything that has ANYTHING to do with me, even if you don't know that, she commented to him in her mind.
She made herself walk towards the bleeding Saori, who was laying on the ground somewhere. Moon forced herself to take a step back and look at the situation. There was an injured civilian. She was the hero. It was like community service. To an uncharitable bitch, her mind began grouchily-but then all unkind thoughts fled from her head when she saw the woman. Saori was crumpled on the ground, bleeding heavily from the head. There was a small blue orb dancing above the head wound, which was glowing bigger by the second. Her arm was bent at an odd angle, and Moon thought with a lurch that she could see part of the bone. Her legs had heavy lacerations, and her breathing was very shallow.
Moon let out a tiny gasp and sprinted the rest of the way towards the severely wounded girl. Her blue eyes flicked over the still form, desperately trying to find a cure for all of this. She knew she could heal the psychical wounds, but she had no clue how do deal with the blue orb. Duo came up behind her, scuffing his feet.
"Will she be okay?" he asked.
She didn't even look at him. "You call this "hurt pretty badly"? Duo, this girl would die if I weren't here!"
Duo winced and drew back. So it seemed that the superhero was capable of negative emotions as well. Duo didn't like this. His idea of a superhero was, well, perfection. They were supposed to be rich, kind, charitable, thoughtful, smart, and capable of anything. This mental image was rapidly becoming distorted, now showing a very real woman beneath the heroine. Unnerved, he took another step back.
Moon bit her lip and held her hands out over Saori's body. The magic crackled around her without any further prompting, but the black bolts came more thickly and more quickly this time. Wind began to whirl around her, making her hair and skirt swirl around her body. There was a loud snapping noise, and the woman's eyes popped open. Then Moon's eyes widened and slowly filled with a kind of awe mixed with terrible fright. She squeezed her eyes shut again, and the black energy disappeared entirely. She then concentrated the power around her hands.
Unexpected by all, there was suddenly an explosion of bright neon blue light. Moon cried out in pain as she was thrown backwards, crashing into Sailor Mercury, Yohji, and Sailor Venus. Mercury picked Moon off the floor.
"Are you okay? What happened?" she asked worriedly.
Moon's blue eyes narrowed menacingly. "I am having a miserable day," she announced, "and so am feeling very much like I will kick the ass of whatever is keeping me from healing that girl!" she said furiously, marching past the shocked Duo and kneeling down beside Saori again.
"May I?" she inquired of the black globe floating above her. Its light throbbed twice, and she nodded. "How much?" It gave a small, uncertain glow. Moon tilted her head. "Not too much?" she guessed.
It gave two enthusiastic bursts of light and zoomed higher above her head. Sailor Moon spread her hands out above Saori's form once again and called up her energy. She closed her eyes and then the black/silver power began flowing over Saori. The blue light crackled feebly, but was mostly silent. Then the light was gone, and Sailor Moon opened her eyes.
"No way!" she gasped.
The wound on Saori's head was still bleeding freely, and the orb had grown larger. "Mercury!" Moon roared.
Mercury zipped over to Sailor Moon's side and whipped out her computer. Her nimble fingers danced over the tiny keyboard, blue eyes scanning the information. Giving a decisive nod, she closed her data computer with a snap.
"That blue orb is really a type of egg sac for the offspring of that youma. It is feeding off of her life force and blood. Its roots are deeply entrenched in her mind. Moon, the only way to save her is to go into her mind, uproot that egg, and get out of there while Venus and I destroy the partially formed offspring."
"They breed?" Venus asked in horror. "Since when?"
Mercury frowned. "Since now, apparently. They have had no reproductive system in the past, which is what's confusing. Why do they have one now? What effect will this have? I mean, if who ever our enemy is can breed his youma, he or she or it might have a monstrous collection of baby youma which he will then train to become these terrifying fighting machines that will-"
"Enough of this hypothesizing in front of civilians!" Moon commanded. "Just tell me how to get in there!"
"Moon, there's only one problem," Mercury said tentatively.
"Which is?" Sailor Moon demanded, craning her head around to fasten Mercury with an intense glare.
"You, um, will be seen as someone else," Mercury said delicately.
Moon's mouth popped open. "Are you serious? She'd-" she stopped, gave a quick look up at Duo, and then back at Mercury. "I'll do it anyways. She's not that bad anyways-I don't think she'd tell."
Mercury shrugged. "Alright then. Just wish yourself inside, and that's just about it."
Moon cracked her knuckles. "Alright then," she echoed cheerfully.
There was a huge flash of black light, and then she was gone.
Usagi opened her eyes to find herself in a child's play room. Well, she thought nervously, it could be worse. She heard an approaching whistle, and then shrieked in terror as a plastic train came hurtling towards her. She leaped out of the way, and found herself falling into a rather large pile of dolls. Panicking, she kicked out and connected with a body that didn't give. Frowning, she dug towards the body, and found herself looking into Saori's blank eyes.
Growling to herself, she wrapped an arm around Saori's waist and kicked and pulled their way out of the pile. Once they were successfully away from the dolls, Usagi flopped Saori down on the ground and thumped her on the chest.
"Wake up!" she commanded.
Saori's gaze slid to the side. "Why?" she asked hollowly.
Usagi narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean, "why"?" she demanded.
Saori's brown eyes filled with water. "Everyone hates me," she whispered.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Usagi asked incredulously.
"I can't handle this," she said, ignoring the tears tracking down her cheeks. "Yohji was the only boyfriend I ever had, and now your friend Ami has him. My parents hate me because I just wanted to get married and have kids and not go to college. My job is worthless. My boss hates me. You hate me, and everyone listens to you."
Usagi fished for words, trying to cope with what Saori was saying. Then she found it. "Guess what Saori? You're forgetting someone. Remember someone named Duo? He loves you."
"But I don't love him," Saori said simply.
Usagi sat back on her heels. "Well that settles it! You should snap out of it, if only to go get yourself a guy! Now me, I should be the one in this crazy doll house. My love life sucks, Saori. My work is great, but all the guys are trying to get with me now that I'm single. My parents think I'm some whore, but I don't care anymore because they think that the Easter Bunny is a metaphor for world peace. They think all wars would be ended by placing Easter eggs filled with chocolate in everyone's backyard. I went to college and got a degree in law, but never told anyone because they'd expect things of me. Well, and as for that last bit, you hate me! So aren't we even?"
Saori gave a shuddering laugh. "Yeah, I guess so. But Usagi, I just have one question for you. Why are you dressed like an angel and a princess?"
"What?" Usagi asked, startled.
She reached up a hand and ran into feathers. Her fingers went to her forehead, and she felt the warmth of the glowing insignia. Usagi glancing down and found herself wearing her princess dress-which was a dark gray. She ran her fingers through her hair (which was still down to her middle back) and laughed ruefully.
"This might surprise you Saori, but I'm the legendary Sailor Moon. This is my princess form. Kind of, anyways. My dress isn't usually gray. It's supposed to be white, but I think I messed it up somehow. Hey, how's this for a deal. You come out with me, and I'll let you tell any one person that I'm Sailor Moon."
The life came back into Saori's eyes and she sat up. "I'll come out," she agreed.
"Great!" Usagi said gladly. Finally, they could get out of this place!
"What do I call you?" her companion asked abruptly.
"Huh? Oh. In this form I'm called Serenity."
Saori cocked her head and smiled. "It fits you, oddly enough. You've got this inner strength that most people I know don't have. Lucky you," she said with a laugh. "Now let's go."
She grabbed Saori's elbow, and then they were gone in a flash of black- silver light.
Venus pounded the baby youma with her hammer repeatedly, and then let out a loud shriek when Sailor Moon's body exploded with a black light. When it died down, Princess Serenity was standing there looking severely disgruntled. Mercury and Yohji spun around and stared. Duo gaped. Saori stood up and grinned.
"Nice entrance," she murmured.
"Thanks," Usagi said sulkily. "Venus, what IS that?"
Venus hefted the enormous hammer onto her shoulder and smiled proudly. "I don't know! I just wished for a very psychical attack, and this hammer appeared in my hands. I think it's a form of my Venus Crush, because this is apparently very heavy to whoever I'm smushing. I'm going to call the attack Venus Love Hammer. Hammy for short," she said patting it lovingly.
"So how'd it all go?" Mercury asked Usagi before the blonde had an appropriate chance to respond wittily to Venus' love affair with her hammer.
Usagi shrugged and slung an arm around Saori's shoulders. "Bah! I had to do some fast talking with this problematic person here, so it really was a great use of breath. But that's fine, because we're pals now, isn't that right Ri-chan?"
Saori laughed. "That's right, Ren-chan."
Duo coughed politely, making all eyes turn to him. He flashed that smile at Saori, who smiled back politely. "You're really okay, right? I mean," he said turning towards Mercury, "there won't be any long term effects, right?"
Mercury smiled impishly. "Well I don't know! I didn't do anything," she said crossing her arms.
"Miss, uh, Moon? Is she alright?"
Usagi waved her hand airily. "Oh, she'll be fine. Unless she's been scarred for life by the happenings, and I seriously doubt that. Saori's the strong willed type. See you guys!" she said with a jaunty salute as she vanished with her friends in a flash of now silver light.
Duo blinked, grinned, shook his head, and then took Saori's hand. Saori squeezed it reassuringly and began walking with him. The woman mulled over the things that had happened that day. Who would have ever imagined that Usagi Tsukino was the great Sailor Moon, the Champion of Justice? And who would have thought that she, Saori Urashima, would become friends with one of the most popular people in Tokyo. And she wasn't even kidding when she said Tokyo. Mention the name "Tsukino" anywhere and someone would know her, Saori reflected.
Duo said something to her, and she smiled completely by reflex. Saori studied his profile as they walked. He felt her gaze, turned to her, and flashed that dazzling grin of his at her. She grinned back and squeezed his hand again. The break up could wait until later, when she had complete reign of her emotions. Yes, Duo Maxwell was almost the nicest, most assuredly the best looking, and of course the most fun man that she had ever met in her entire life. But he wasn't for her, and she was certain of that now. Deny it all they might, she thought with an aberrant smirk, the blonde superhero and the braided lady-killer were made for each other.
Speaking of the blonde superhero.... She wouldn't tell anyone what she had learned when things came down from push to shove.
Usagi, Minako, Ami, and Yohji watched the two walk away. Usagi let out a loud laugh as soon as the two were out of sight. Yohji nearly jumped out of his skin.
"Don't do that! You have no idea how terrifying it is when you laugh like that," he complained.
"Oh go kiss Ami," Usagi said with a laugh.
Needing no other excuse, he swept Ami into his arms and planted a kiss right on her lips. Ami let out a muffled squeak, and then wound her arms around his neck. Usagi and Minako glared jealously at the couple and then turned their backs on them in a huff.
"Jesus, you think they'd have some common decency," Usagi complained.
"No kidding! Get a room or something! We don't need to see it!"
"Scandalous."
"We should tell someone," Minako said thoughtfully.
"That Ami's become a little deviant?"
"A public kisser?"
"Or that," Usagi agreed.
Minako laughed merrily. "Oh, the public will be scandalized! Those poor civilians!"
A glint came to Usagi's eye. "Speaking of civilians," she muttered, marching towards the embracing couple. She yanked hard on Ami's shoulder, bringing the blue haired girl back to her senses.
""The other civilians"?" Usagi quoted calmly and quietly.
Ami giggled nervously. "Well, yes. You wouldn't have come so willingly if you had known it was Duo and Saori," she explained.
"Are you calling me irrational and capable of holding grudges?"
"Well.... no, I'm just saying that you might be a little angry-"
"Ami, have you heard the words "public scandal"?"
"Usagi! I'm just saying that maybe you might be feeling a little uncharitable towards Duo and-"
"TAKE THE PLANS AND RUN MINAKO!" Usagi yelled, thrusting a bundle of photos at Minako, who immediately began running towards the relative safety of anywhere but where Ami was.
"What were those?" Ami demanded, advancing on the laughing Usagi.
The threatened blonde looked around quickly for escape. "Uh.. Just some photos of you.... And Yohji," she muttered.
"USAGI!" Ami shrieked.
Their picture was taken for Tokyo's Finest Moments calendar. The picture clearly showed two pretty blonde women running through a large courtyard in front of a large business building. One of the woman (who is holding some photographs) is clutching her sides and laughing, and the other (identified as "Usagi Tsukino", a well known Tokyo bombshell) is looking back and laughing at a blue haired woman who is shaking her fist and falling through the air after being tripped by a tall man with black hair and blue eyes. This comic group is followed by a handsome man identified as "Yohji Kudou", who is completely ignoring the chaos in front of him and trying to read a map. This snapshot is correctly titled "The Feet of Women", in accordance with the quote at the bottom:
""MY OWN GOOD" MY FOOT! I'LL BITE YOUR FEET OFF! I'M NOT-GAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
We are assuming she said this while she was being tripped.
Chapter Six
LAST TIME:
Jesus, what DID happen last time? I just re-read that chapter, too! Um. Let me think about this. *thinks* [five minutes later] Oh yeah. I remember. Usagi gets a visit from Ami and Yohji, and some freak kid who sounds a lot like he's either some mythical being out to get her or very seriously high. She then promptly decides that life is getting WAY too hectic and decides that some changes are in order. As a result of this long overdue decision, she makes plans to visit the leader of a large crime ring led by her Great-Aunt Elizabeth, whom currently resides in a large London estate. After her parents get over the shock of her choice (let alone the fact that she KNEW her mother had once been in a crime ring and had at one time been a major-time player in the game of hearts), Usagi heads home and burns everything that she still has of Duo's. Oh yes. She also buys a new car, because her poor Jeep was TOTALED in the wreck. Party on, dude.
I'm trying to get this finished by Christmas guys, hang in there, PLEASE! It's hard working under a deadline! I bow to the rest of you out there that are trying to crank out those Christmas stories along with me!!!! HA! Right, you laugh at my attempted Christmas story.. I figured that this story qualified, because it's going to have a really cute and sappy ending (As much so as I can make it, which is definitely not a guarantee) ON CHRISTMAS EVE. So HA! I win! *sticks tongue out at non-believers of the fact that Lily can write a Christmas story*
********
"USAGI!"
Someone pounded on her door. Usagi groaned and rolled over. Where the hell was she? She struggled to open her eyes, and then gave up after a while. Let her senses roam. Like the Indians. Prompted by this encouraging thought, she tried to figure out where she was-without the ever helpful assistance of her frigging eyes.
Okay. Wherever she was, it was cold. And it was kind of bumpy. And there was a bottle of something next to her. And. And. And. That's as far as she got, because the pounding resumed again.
"USAGI AI TSUKINO! WAKE UP AND GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!"
This interruption would not be tolerated! Usagi struggled to her feet and cracked her eyes open just a little. The light bled into her vision, making her swear loudly. She clutched at the side of her house and walked unsteadily towards the pounding noise. Whoever knew her middle name and was pounding on her door was going to get a lapful of barf as soon as she got her hands on that person.
She wobbled around the corner and was able to make out a shiny blonde head that was altogether too shiny to look at for long. Beside that shiny blonde head was another shiny black head, but that wasn't much better either because both of the heads made her eyes hurt. The two brown heads that were not shiny, on the other hand, did not make her eyes hurt. One of the brown heads was accompanied by a shiny blonde head-another one!-and was therefore taken out of her good book.
The first shiny blonde head pounded on the door again. "GET OUT HERE, USAGI AI TSUKINO! DON'T MAKE ME KICK YOUR DOOR DOWN!"
Usagi swore as loudly as her delicate state was capable of. "Jesus Christmas you goddamn bastards! Can't you my god I think aaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggg leave a poor girl alone in the morning, dammit?"
The second shiny blonde head leaped towards her, which was a very unnerving sight for poor Usagi. She stumbled backwards and waved her arms desperately. "My eyes! Oh JESUS my eyes! Sweet Jesus, take it away!"
She lost her balance, and was barely saved from falling backwards by the shiny black head. Usagi squeezed her eyes shut and pulled herself upright. Fumbling her way towards her door, she bumped into someone. She cracked an eye open and was relived to find that it was one of the brown heads. Usagi brought a silly smile to her face and then passed out.
The next time she woke up she felt like Hell warmed over. Her eyes opened more quickly this time, and it didn't hurt nearly as much as it had the first time. There was a ring of concerned faces above her, which made her kind of nervous.
"Hey guys," she croaked.
Minako felt her forehead. "Are you okay? I mean, we were kind of worried seeing you walk out from behind your house drunk off your ass."
Usagi batted her hand away. "I'm fine," she said groggily, "I just had a little too much celebratory drink last night," she tried to explain.
"Why didn't you tell us you were in the hospital?" Quatre demanded.
"I didn't tell anyone!" Usagi snapped. "I don't know how Ami, Yohji, and that high kid found me! It was too embarrassing!"
Wufei raised an eyebrow. ""That high kid"?" he questioned.
Her face grew darker and she tried to sit (with little success). "Yeah, some kid came in and started babbling about how he was "put on the job" or whatever that means and how I'll "be the death of them all". It was weird, Fei-kun," she complained.
"What was his name?" Quatre wanted to know.
Usagi answered while doing her upper body acrobatics, or what she generally (and soberly) liked to call "sitting up". "Damned if I remember. Something that started with a "J". That's all I can remember. Damn, I don't remember anything except Ami, getting mad at Yohji, the roses, the high kid, and the daisies," she said, running a hand across her face.
Hiiro's frown worsened. "You were drinking and driving."
She glared at him. "Well what do you think? I was drunk, and all my friends deserted me to go off and get laid with their new boyfriends OR girlfriends while I'm sitting there in a fancy dress drunk off my ass and feeling bad for myself! What do you EXPECT me to do besides nearly kill myself in a bout of stupidity? Gallivant off and sing "tralalalala" in a field of pretty pink flowers? No!"
"I didn't think there were any fields of pink flowers in the middle of Tokyo," Hiiro commented dryly.
"And now I have a bad hangover and you're laughing at me!" she exclaimed angrily. "What the hell did you guys come over here for anyways? Jesus, you all sure know how to treat a girl," she said sarcastically.
Wufei crossed his arms. "Usagi, that doesn't change the fact that you were drunk and driving! You could have killed yourself! Do you know what that would have done to all of us?" he asked, uncharacteristically quiet.
Usagi started, and then sighed. "Aw, come on guys-"
"How about this, Usagi," Quatre said fiercely, "if you drink and drive ever again, I will personally see to it that all those little secrets you told me find their way into eager ears."
Minako gasped, spinning on Usagi with a twirl that made the blonde bunny's head gurgle its last breath and topple sideways. "You TOLD him?" she demanded.
"Told him what?" Usagi asked in a panic, trying desperately to remember what, exactly, she had told her mildly evil blonde friend.
"That you're-"
"No!" Usagi shouted, yanking on Minako's blonde locks. "No," she repeated again, "I did NOT tell him that, even though he would have known in a second!"
"Let go of my hair! And how was I supposed to know what you told him? I just assumed-"
"My foot!" Usagi exclaimed hotly.
"According to Ami, your foot is going to be treading English soil for the next few months," Trowa said mildly, waiting for the much desired and inevitable reaction.
"WHAT?" was the collective cry of outrage.
Usagi moaned and fumbled for the pillow, which Hiiro promptly captured and threw at the television, which made Usagi cringe. Quatre thumped her on the golden head.
"Why are you going to England?" he asked tremblingly, with that mean serial- killer destroyer puppy dog face. Usagi felt her walls trembling, buckling, and then breaking down. Her lower lip began to tremble, and then she burst into tears.
"I just can't handle this anymore! My life is a total mess! I messed up with Endymion, I messed up with Mamoru, I messed up with that one kid, I messed up with that one other guy, I messed up with Duo, I messed up with Yohji, I messed up with Diamond, I messed up with my family, and I'm no good to anyone because I'm just a good for nothing drunk who goes out with guys and makes huge scenes and drives cool cars! I'm worthless! I just need to get away!" she sobbed into Quatre's shirt.
Hiiro, uncomfortable with this unusual display of emotion, scratched his chin and looked pointedly at the floor. Quatre, eyes soft, wrapped his arms around her, trying to calm her down. Wufei watched Usagi's shaking form uncertainly, like he didn't know what to do with this brand new side of the player. Trowa looked smug, which was a fact that pissed Minako off to no end. Why the heck would the man look so satisfied? Unless-- With this new thought, Minako sharpened her scenes, watching him for a few minutes, and then looked back at Usagi.
Minako smiled softly and touched her friend's shoulder. "Sere, don't worry about it. No one's pressuring you to be with anyone. Just try being single. And I'm sure if you work hard enough, England will be just too much fun to worry about your problems," she said consolingly.
Usagi raised her tearstained face and looked miserably at Minako, like it was just one more thing to add to her list of grievances. "Why is everybody calling me that lately?" she asked with a definite tremble in her voice.
Her fellow female blonde furrowed her brow and took a visible mental jump back. "What're you going on about now?" Receiving a hiccupped sob from Usagi, Minako raised her hands up as if to say "stop, stop, stop!". "Are you meaning to say that you haven't looked in a mirror lately?"
Now dejected, confused and a little nervous, Usagi shook her head minutely. "No, I've been drunk ever since I got home, and they didn't give me a mirror in my room, because they thought I might be suicidal, based on the other times I had been in there."
"Then you don't know!" Minako gasped. "Usagi, that's awful!"
"Know what?" Usagi nearly wailed. What the hell was going on here? Why were there so many things that she didn't know all of a sudden? It was driving her absolutely NUTS! She swore to God that one of these days she was going to get over her bout of depression and go homicidal and murder whoever gave the "go" for her life.
Minako cast a look at the intensely curious boys and gently tugged Usagi away from Quatre, making the blonde take a lurching step to avoid falling. Usagi was NOT in a happy mood. Her life was NOT going well at the given moment. Minako yanked Usagi down the hall and whipped inside the tech room. She pushed Usagi into the swivel chair and dropped down into the rocking chair.
"Usagi, what's the difference between you and Serenity?"
Usagi pulled her long legs up onto the black chair and crossed them neatly beneath her. "Well, Serenity has silver hair. Mostly anyways. It's like a silver blondish. And she's got the mark on her head. And she usually has that mythical whore dress on. What?" she asked defensively to Minako's incredulous stare.
"Whore dress?" the woman echoed with an amused smile.
"Well... yeah. You didn't have to wear it! Half the time my chest was falling out of the damn top! And that stupid thing tore easily, too! It was a romance novel's dream come true, but-"
"Enough, enough, enough! We're not here to talk about your whore dress! Usagi, you are Serenity! Check a mirror or something! You're Serenity, and you have been for a while from the looks of it! You can barely see the mark, and that's only if you know it's there!"
Usagi's blue eyes opened wide. "You're joking," she said in astonishment, all traces of earlier tears gone.
"No!"
"You're joking."
"No, I'm not!"
"But that wasn't the Crystal," Usagi said with a quiver in her voice. On top of all things--!
Minako raised an eyebrow. "What wasn't the Crystal?" she asked curiously.
Usagi reached down into her shirt and pulled out the black rock. The shadow-play was still going on, this time with a more mature female shadow and a taller small figure. The woman bent down and kissed the other's head, but the small one moved his head and captured the woman in a kiss. This progressed, until- Usagi blushed scarlet and averted her eyes.
"I thought this wasn't the crystal, since you know, this isn't what the crystal looks like, and in addition to that it's magic is almost wholly dark! Not evil, really, but dark. It's not the kind of magic Serenity or Artemis would put in their ultimate jewel. It fell onto my lap the other day and I asked to become Serenity. I guess I did. But here's the problem, Minako. This crystal's ten times as the old one could ever even DREAM of being, which is pretty damn powerful. This means I could kick the collective asses of ten Beryls without breaking a sweat! Don't you think there's something WRONG with that?"
Minako bit her lip. "I don't know, Sere-chan. This would be something for Ami-chan to figure out. I'm not the brains of the bunch, remember?"
Usagi sighed and leaned back against the chair. "I dunno-"
She was cut off by the wail of the alarm. Minako shrieked and ran for the door. She yanked it open and ran into the hall. "Fire! Fire! Everyone run!"
Usagi raced into the hall and leaped at Minako. "MINAKO! THAT'S NOT THE FIRE ALARM! THAT'S THE OTHER ONE, YOU DUMB SHIT! NOW COME ON!"
Minako stopped thrashing around and stood perfectly stiff. "A youma alert?"
Usagi sighed and touched her fingertips to her temples. "Hai. A youma alert. Are the boys still here?"
"No, I don't think so. Let's transform! VENUS CRYSTAL POWER!"
"Dammit, Minako! Moon Eternal Power! Jesus I hate this transforming-oi! Is it just me or is this transformation getting WAY shorter?" Usagi asked, yanking at the hem of her fuku skirt (if you could call it a skirt).
"Oh my God," Venus gasped.
"What now?" Moon demanded. Why did she have to fight with a hangover? Jesus Christ, someone out there really did have a death wish for her, and it wasn't someone very nice either!
"Well find a mirror you dumbass! Your fuku's changed! The skirt's black, dark dark blue, and dark blue! Your bodice thing is this really light gray! The lining on everything is gold, but-"
"V-babe, we don't have time for that. We've gotta fly, or else someone's gonna get their asses kicked,"
Sailor Moon's communicator went off, making her groan. She flipped it open, and Mercury's face loomed in front of her. "Moon, get down here! Yohji's hurt, and, um, the other civilians are trying to shoot at it! I can't handle this alone! I'm not on the offence!"
"Okay, I've got your position. We'll be down in a few seconds. Get your butt up Venus, we're going to be doing some sloppy teleportation here really soon."
"Why me?" the other blonde begged.
"Because we all love you," Moon quipped lightly before disappearing with her shaking cargo.
There was silence in the house for a few seconds until some quiet swearing and shuffling could be heard. There was a muffled snort, and then a loud expletive. This was followed by a heavy sigh.
"You've got to wonder how we miss these things," a depressed Quatre mumbled.
*
"This isn't very much fun," the youma said mournfully.
Duo swore loudly and fired at it again. The distinctly female youma turned and glared at him, and then turned back to Sailor Mercury, who was holding her bleeding arm. The hateful look on her face was almost too much to handle. Yohji moaned in pain and tried to sit up, but Mercury pushed him back down.
"Stay down. I'll take care of this thing," she vowed. "Smoking Mirror!" she cried. Thin pieces of smoking mirror crept out of her skin and then zipped through the air and entered the youma's body with tiny thuds.
The youma screamed in pain and dropped to one knee. Someone let out a low whistle from above. "Okay Me-chan, that was definitely the creepiest thing I have EVER seen in my entire life, and that's saying something!"
Moon and Venus dropped down from the sky. Venus hopped over and thumped Mercury on the back. "Isn't this cool? We keep on getting these new-"
"Destructive," Moon said darkly.
"-powers!" Venus continued, determined to look on the slightly gray bright side.
"I'll kill you," the youma hissed, struggling to its feet. "I'll kill you!" it repeated with a furious scream.
"Stuff it," Moon muttered before wings burst from her back and she pushed off the ground and pumped higher into the sky. "CLEAR OUT!" she bellowed. "Triple Beam!"
The black energy acted much the same as it had last time, but this time something new happened. Once the youma had been completely obliterated, the access energy massed together and then came shooting back up at the utterly shocked Sailor Moon. She caught it purely by reflex and then screeched in pain.
"Jesus H. Christ this stuff hurts like hell!" she yelped as she plummeted towards the ground.
Black magic exploded in her hands and then formed into a small, crackling black sphere of energy. Moon touched down on the ground and touched it experimentally. The black energy snapped over her fingers- almost welcomingly. She almost smiled.
"Okay, that's got to be the second weirdest thing I've ever seen. Dammit, I wish the crap would quit doing weird things like that! I mean, my magic needs to make up its frigging mind on what the hell it's going to do. I kinda like it this way though, because this way I don't blow any five mile holes in the ground, you know? Oi, Me-chan, that was an awesome attack! Where'd you learn it?"
Mercury looked darkly at Moon. "Probably the same place Mars, you, and Venus learned theirs. What's with the new fuku? And why is the Crystal black?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Moon said, turning her nose upwards.
"What she means," Venus said helpfully, "is that she hasn't got the faintest idea."
"Gee, thanks V-babe."
"Anytime!"
"I swear to God Venus-"
"Children!" Mercury snapped. Once she had their attention she continued. "Moon, can you heal Yohji-kun? Onegai?" she pleaded with her deep blue eyes.
Moon snorted. "That's the least I can do for him," she said with a smile.
The blonde walked carefully over to the man, who was nearly delirious from pain. Moon bent down and placed her hands above his chest. She made a little face at him, and then concentrated. She began to glow a bright silver. Then the black and gold cords began snapping through it. The small pet that Moon had apparently adopted flashed a warning silver. Moon glanced up and nodded, clamping her power down until it was a steady silver once again.
She let out a steady breath and then let her power pour over the man. He began to glow a color similar to hers, and then suddenly he sat up with a gasp. Yohji looked around, and then his eyes landed on Sailor Moon, who was grinning cheekily at him.
"Ohayo," she said with a laugh.
"U-"
The impending word was cut off by three sets of hands going over his mouth. He rolled his eyes and pushed their hands away. "Ladies, there's man enough of me to go around! Share!"
"You WISH you were man enough-" Sailor Moon began.
"Excuse me, but my friend over here is hurt pretty badly. Can you help her, please?"
Sailor Moon looked up and found herself looking right into Duo's eyes. Those eyes made her stop and forget to breathe for a second, but then Mercury coughed loudly and Moon snapped out of it.
"Sure, sure, sure. Of course you'd want me to heal Saori," she muttered.
"How did you know her name was Saori?" Duo asked in surprise.
Moon didn't hesitate. "I know everything," she said importantly. That I need to know, she added mentally. And I know everything that has ANYTHING to do with me, even if you don't know that, she commented to him in her mind.
She made herself walk towards the bleeding Saori, who was laying on the ground somewhere. Moon forced herself to take a step back and look at the situation. There was an injured civilian. She was the hero. It was like community service. To an uncharitable bitch, her mind began grouchily-but then all unkind thoughts fled from her head when she saw the woman. Saori was crumpled on the ground, bleeding heavily from the head. There was a small blue orb dancing above the head wound, which was glowing bigger by the second. Her arm was bent at an odd angle, and Moon thought with a lurch that she could see part of the bone. Her legs had heavy lacerations, and her breathing was very shallow.
Moon let out a tiny gasp and sprinted the rest of the way towards the severely wounded girl. Her blue eyes flicked over the still form, desperately trying to find a cure for all of this. She knew she could heal the psychical wounds, but she had no clue how do deal with the blue orb. Duo came up behind her, scuffing his feet.
"Will she be okay?" he asked.
She didn't even look at him. "You call this "hurt pretty badly"? Duo, this girl would die if I weren't here!"
Duo winced and drew back. So it seemed that the superhero was capable of negative emotions as well. Duo didn't like this. His idea of a superhero was, well, perfection. They were supposed to be rich, kind, charitable, thoughtful, smart, and capable of anything. This mental image was rapidly becoming distorted, now showing a very real woman beneath the heroine. Unnerved, he took another step back.
Moon bit her lip and held her hands out over Saori's body. The magic crackled around her without any further prompting, but the black bolts came more thickly and more quickly this time. Wind began to whirl around her, making her hair and skirt swirl around her body. There was a loud snapping noise, and the woman's eyes popped open. Then Moon's eyes widened and slowly filled with a kind of awe mixed with terrible fright. She squeezed her eyes shut again, and the black energy disappeared entirely. She then concentrated the power around her hands.
Unexpected by all, there was suddenly an explosion of bright neon blue light. Moon cried out in pain as she was thrown backwards, crashing into Sailor Mercury, Yohji, and Sailor Venus. Mercury picked Moon off the floor.
"Are you okay? What happened?" she asked worriedly.
Moon's blue eyes narrowed menacingly. "I am having a miserable day," she announced, "and so am feeling very much like I will kick the ass of whatever is keeping me from healing that girl!" she said furiously, marching past the shocked Duo and kneeling down beside Saori again.
"May I?" she inquired of the black globe floating above her. Its light throbbed twice, and she nodded. "How much?" It gave a small, uncertain glow. Moon tilted her head. "Not too much?" she guessed.
It gave two enthusiastic bursts of light and zoomed higher above her head. Sailor Moon spread her hands out above Saori's form once again and called up her energy. She closed her eyes and then the black/silver power began flowing over Saori. The blue light crackled feebly, but was mostly silent. Then the light was gone, and Sailor Moon opened her eyes.
"No way!" she gasped.
The wound on Saori's head was still bleeding freely, and the orb had grown larger. "Mercury!" Moon roared.
Mercury zipped over to Sailor Moon's side and whipped out her computer. Her nimble fingers danced over the tiny keyboard, blue eyes scanning the information. Giving a decisive nod, she closed her data computer with a snap.
"That blue orb is really a type of egg sac for the offspring of that youma. It is feeding off of her life force and blood. Its roots are deeply entrenched in her mind. Moon, the only way to save her is to go into her mind, uproot that egg, and get out of there while Venus and I destroy the partially formed offspring."
"They breed?" Venus asked in horror. "Since when?"
Mercury frowned. "Since now, apparently. They have had no reproductive system in the past, which is what's confusing. Why do they have one now? What effect will this have? I mean, if who ever our enemy is can breed his youma, he or she or it might have a monstrous collection of baby youma which he will then train to become these terrifying fighting machines that will-"
"Enough of this hypothesizing in front of civilians!" Moon commanded. "Just tell me how to get in there!"
"Moon, there's only one problem," Mercury said tentatively.
"Which is?" Sailor Moon demanded, craning her head around to fasten Mercury with an intense glare.
"You, um, will be seen as someone else," Mercury said delicately.
Moon's mouth popped open. "Are you serious? She'd-" she stopped, gave a quick look up at Duo, and then back at Mercury. "I'll do it anyways. She's not that bad anyways-I don't think she'd tell."
Mercury shrugged. "Alright then. Just wish yourself inside, and that's just about it."
Moon cracked her knuckles. "Alright then," she echoed cheerfully.
There was a huge flash of black light, and then she was gone.
Usagi opened her eyes to find herself in a child's play room. Well, she thought nervously, it could be worse. She heard an approaching whistle, and then shrieked in terror as a plastic train came hurtling towards her. She leaped out of the way, and found herself falling into a rather large pile of dolls. Panicking, she kicked out and connected with a body that didn't give. Frowning, she dug towards the body, and found herself looking into Saori's blank eyes.
Growling to herself, she wrapped an arm around Saori's waist and kicked and pulled their way out of the pile. Once they were successfully away from the dolls, Usagi flopped Saori down on the ground and thumped her on the chest.
"Wake up!" she commanded.
Saori's gaze slid to the side. "Why?" she asked hollowly.
Usagi narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean, "why"?" she demanded.
Saori's brown eyes filled with water. "Everyone hates me," she whispered.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Usagi asked incredulously.
"I can't handle this," she said, ignoring the tears tracking down her cheeks. "Yohji was the only boyfriend I ever had, and now your friend Ami has him. My parents hate me because I just wanted to get married and have kids and not go to college. My job is worthless. My boss hates me. You hate me, and everyone listens to you."
Usagi fished for words, trying to cope with what Saori was saying. Then she found it. "Guess what Saori? You're forgetting someone. Remember someone named Duo? He loves you."
"But I don't love him," Saori said simply.
Usagi sat back on her heels. "Well that settles it! You should snap out of it, if only to go get yourself a guy! Now me, I should be the one in this crazy doll house. My love life sucks, Saori. My work is great, but all the guys are trying to get with me now that I'm single. My parents think I'm some whore, but I don't care anymore because they think that the Easter Bunny is a metaphor for world peace. They think all wars would be ended by placing Easter eggs filled with chocolate in everyone's backyard. I went to college and got a degree in law, but never told anyone because they'd expect things of me. Well, and as for that last bit, you hate me! So aren't we even?"
Saori gave a shuddering laugh. "Yeah, I guess so. But Usagi, I just have one question for you. Why are you dressed like an angel and a princess?"
"What?" Usagi asked, startled.
She reached up a hand and ran into feathers. Her fingers went to her forehead, and she felt the warmth of the glowing insignia. Usagi glancing down and found herself wearing her princess dress-which was a dark gray. She ran her fingers through her hair (which was still down to her middle back) and laughed ruefully.
"This might surprise you Saori, but I'm the legendary Sailor Moon. This is my princess form. Kind of, anyways. My dress isn't usually gray. It's supposed to be white, but I think I messed it up somehow. Hey, how's this for a deal. You come out with me, and I'll let you tell any one person that I'm Sailor Moon."
The life came back into Saori's eyes and she sat up. "I'll come out," she agreed.
"Great!" Usagi said gladly. Finally, they could get out of this place!
"What do I call you?" her companion asked abruptly.
"Huh? Oh. In this form I'm called Serenity."
Saori cocked her head and smiled. "It fits you, oddly enough. You've got this inner strength that most people I know don't have. Lucky you," she said with a laugh. "Now let's go."
She grabbed Saori's elbow, and then they were gone in a flash of black- silver light.
Venus pounded the baby youma with her hammer repeatedly, and then let out a loud shriek when Sailor Moon's body exploded with a black light. When it died down, Princess Serenity was standing there looking severely disgruntled. Mercury and Yohji spun around and stared. Duo gaped. Saori stood up and grinned.
"Nice entrance," she murmured.
"Thanks," Usagi said sulkily. "Venus, what IS that?"
Venus hefted the enormous hammer onto her shoulder and smiled proudly. "I don't know! I just wished for a very psychical attack, and this hammer appeared in my hands. I think it's a form of my Venus Crush, because this is apparently very heavy to whoever I'm smushing. I'm going to call the attack Venus Love Hammer. Hammy for short," she said patting it lovingly.
"So how'd it all go?" Mercury asked Usagi before the blonde had an appropriate chance to respond wittily to Venus' love affair with her hammer.
Usagi shrugged and slung an arm around Saori's shoulders. "Bah! I had to do some fast talking with this problematic person here, so it really was a great use of breath. But that's fine, because we're pals now, isn't that right Ri-chan?"
Saori laughed. "That's right, Ren-chan."
Duo coughed politely, making all eyes turn to him. He flashed that smile at Saori, who smiled back politely. "You're really okay, right? I mean," he said turning towards Mercury, "there won't be any long term effects, right?"
Mercury smiled impishly. "Well I don't know! I didn't do anything," she said crossing her arms.
"Miss, uh, Moon? Is she alright?"
Usagi waved her hand airily. "Oh, she'll be fine. Unless she's been scarred for life by the happenings, and I seriously doubt that. Saori's the strong willed type. See you guys!" she said with a jaunty salute as she vanished with her friends in a flash of now silver light.
Duo blinked, grinned, shook his head, and then took Saori's hand. Saori squeezed it reassuringly and began walking with him. The woman mulled over the things that had happened that day. Who would have ever imagined that Usagi Tsukino was the great Sailor Moon, the Champion of Justice? And who would have thought that she, Saori Urashima, would become friends with one of the most popular people in Tokyo. And she wasn't even kidding when she said Tokyo. Mention the name "Tsukino" anywhere and someone would know her, Saori reflected.
Duo said something to her, and she smiled completely by reflex. Saori studied his profile as they walked. He felt her gaze, turned to her, and flashed that dazzling grin of his at her. She grinned back and squeezed his hand again. The break up could wait until later, when she had complete reign of her emotions. Yes, Duo Maxwell was almost the nicest, most assuredly the best looking, and of course the most fun man that she had ever met in her entire life. But he wasn't for her, and she was certain of that now. Deny it all they might, she thought with an aberrant smirk, the blonde superhero and the braided lady-killer were made for each other.
Speaking of the blonde superhero.... She wouldn't tell anyone what she had learned when things came down from push to shove.
Usagi, Minako, Ami, and Yohji watched the two walk away. Usagi let out a loud laugh as soon as the two were out of sight. Yohji nearly jumped out of his skin.
"Don't do that! You have no idea how terrifying it is when you laugh like that," he complained.
"Oh go kiss Ami," Usagi said with a laugh.
Needing no other excuse, he swept Ami into his arms and planted a kiss right on her lips. Ami let out a muffled squeak, and then wound her arms around his neck. Usagi and Minako glared jealously at the couple and then turned their backs on them in a huff.
"Jesus, you think they'd have some common decency," Usagi complained.
"No kidding! Get a room or something! We don't need to see it!"
"Scandalous."
"We should tell someone," Minako said thoughtfully.
"That Ami's become a little deviant?"
"A public kisser?"
"Or that," Usagi agreed.
Minako laughed merrily. "Oh, the public will be scandalized! Those poor civilians!"
A glint came to Usagi's eye. "Speaking of civilians," she muttered, marching towards the embracing couple. She yanked hard on Ami's shoulder, bringing the blue haired girl back to her senses.
""The other civilians"?" Usagi quoted calmly and quietly.
Ami giggled nervously. "Well, yes. You wouldn't have come so willingly if you had known it was Duo and Saori," she explained.
"Are you calling me irrational and capable of holding grudges?"
"Well.... no, I'm just saying that you might be a little angry-"
"Ami, have you heard the words "public scandal"?"
"Usagi! I'm just saying that maybe you might be feeling a little uncharitable towards Duo and-"
"TAKE THE PLANS AND RUN MINAKO!" Usagi yelled, thrusting a bundle of photos at Minako, who immediately began running towards the relative safety of anywhere but where Ami was.
"What were those?" Ami demanded, advancing on the laughing Usagi.
The threatened blonde looked around quickly for escape. "Uh.. Just some photos of you.... And Yohji," she muttered.
"USAGI!" Ami shrieked.
Their picture was taken for Tokyo's Finest Moments calendar. The picture clearly showed two pretty blonde women running through a large courtyard in front of a large business building. One of the woman (who is holding some photographs) is clutching her sides and laughing, and the other (identified as "Usagi Tsukino", a well known Tokyo bombshell) is looking back and laughing at a blue haired woman who is shaking her fist and falling through the air after being tripped by a tall man with black hair and blue eyes. This comic group is followed by a handsome man identified as "Yohji Kudou", who is completely ignoring the chaos in front of him and trying to read a map. This snapshot is correctly titled "The Feet of Women", in accordance with the quote at the bottom:
""MY OWN GOOD" MY FOOT! I'LL BITE YOUR FEET OFF! I'M NOT-GAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
We are assuming she said this while she was being tripped.