The Cupid 500
Chapter Nine
LAST TIME Usagi created as much chaos as humanly (well, not HUMANLY) possible with a great deal of success. She managed to get her filthy hands on some pictures of the male kind, and really had a wonderful time. But then through some freak chance of fate, her mother was invited to the party and went face to face with her errant daughter. But what about the happenings back in Tokyo?
Minako stared hard at the plate of food in her hands. She looked up, inspected Ami's plate, and then looked back at her own. A frown marred her features, and she looked back up at Ami.
Something was very, very wrong, Minako finally decided. Focused solely on righting this wrong, she pushed her chair away from the table and stood. Everyone looked up at her expectantly, except for Hiiro, who glared at her.
"Who's idea was it to let Hiiro and Yohji cook?" she demanded.
Ami smiled down at her plate of beautifully cooked food. "Well I'm not complaining, Mina-chan. Yohji's a wonderful cook!"
The blonde woman waved her hand dismissively at Ami. "Of course! He has to cook for women all the time! Hiiro, on the other hand, can not cook, because he's used to not eating at all because he's a skinny man that eats frozen dinners or at gala dinners where he doesn't even have to cook! I must protest this disgrace! I am NOT ready to die at this early age! I'm too valuable to the safety of this universe!"
Hiiro stopped, and then set his fork down. "Speaking of saving the universe, why didn't you tell us that you were Sailor Venus?"
Minako, mouth open and fist in the air, gaped at him. Her mind did cartwheels. Her jaw did push-ups. Her eyes did summersaults. Ami simply stared in complete slack-jawed horror.
"You know?" she gasped.
Hiiro carefully swallowed his food and nodded. "We saw you and Usagi transform."
Yohji began to laugh. "Oh, this is rich! So, Hiiro, do you have any secrets that you're hiding from us?"
The other man scowled. "Iie."
Minako threw her napkin at him. "My ass you don't! You're a flipping Gundam pilot! And Yohji, you're an assassin! And Mamoru!" she yelled, stopping the man when his fork was halfway to his mouth, "YOU'RE THE REINCARNATION OF A GODDAMN PRINCE! NOW THAT'S SETTLED, CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK TO DISCUSSING WHY AMI GETS GOOD FOOD?"
Silence ruled the table for a few seconds. "So, Hiiro buddy," Yohji ventured, "you like mechanics?"
"Hn."
"Er. Mamoru, you like being royalty?"
"It's kind of worthless ever since Usagi and I broke it off."
"Ah."
More silence.
"Why?"
Minako suddenly looked down at her lap. A strange expression crossed her face, and then she looked up at the ceiling. Apparently not finding what she was looking for, she looked to the side and made the expression again, which was a stretching of the mouth and an odd, glazed look in the eyes.
"Ahhhh.. Ami?"
The blue haired girl looked up and looked inquiringly at Minako. "Hai?"
The blonde scratched her head and shifted on her chair. "Is there a piece of paper in your lap?"
Ami looked down, and then back up. "Yes."
"Okay, just checking."
Silence descended upon the table, broken only by Minako moving food around on her plate with her fork. She suddenly sighed heavily, got up, and trudged over to the phone. Picking it up, she speed dialed a number, and then waited patiently for it to pick up.
"Hi, Rei? Is there a strange piece of paper in your lap? Ooooh. Thanks. Just checking. Erm. Ami has one, and so do I. Really? Are you going to go? Why not? Oh! Well that makes sense. Yeah. Okay. No, but you can. I'm scared of them! Right! Bye, Rei-chan."
Minako hung up and walked back to the table, where she sat calmly down. Everyone looked at her in anticipation, but the blonde steadfastly ignored their pleading eyes. She continued to eat the food to make Hiiro feel better about his inferior cooking skills, but then slammed her fork down in irritation.
"Why am I always interrupted in the middle of breakfast?" she asked angrily, standing up and stalking out of the kitchen and down the front hall.
Minako was in a bad mood. First she was forced to eat Hiiro's crummy cooking, then she was invited to a huge ball that Rei was not allowing her to go to, and now someone was knocking on the door. Mouth curling up in a snarl of rage, she flung the front door open and was shocked out of her mind to see Duo Maxwell standing on the porch looking very disgruntled.
As she stood there in the open doorway, she slowly became aware of the fact she was wearing nothing except her prize Hello Kitty underwear and a little blue baby t-shirt. The blonde forgot this fact just as quickly.
"Ohayo Duo-kun! Come inside, please! We're eating breakfast, but that's okay, since you can probably save me from eating it. What brings you here to the lair of your hated enemy?"
The braided boy took a deep breath and stepped inside the house that carried so many memories for him. He kept on getting these flashbacks about their time together, and he felt like they were slowly driving him crazy. He shook his head to rid his mind of the past images, and then focused on Minako's face, which was in the present for him.
"I'm here to find out why the hell Usagi never told me that she was Sailor Moon," he said bluntly.
Minako coughed loudly and thumped him on the shoulder. "Duo m' boy! You know damn well that you're not supposed to be taking those hallucinogens anymore! Bad for the health, you know! Makes you see things that aren't really there," she said gravely.
Duo shook her hand off and continued down the hall and turned into the kitchen. Once there, he stopped dead. Okay, Duo was the kind of guy that liked it when things went according to their natural order. The natural order in this case was that Hiiro was a stick in the mud, Yohji was a good for nothing playboy, Mamoru was a cheating, murdering bastard, and Ami was a smart, sensible girl.
This would probably be why he couldn't seem to grasp what he was seeing. The four of them were sitting at the barstool table, quite calmly eating their breakfasts. Ami was in nothing but a bra and a pair of shorts, and was happily shoveling away at her food. Yohji was, as usual, wearing his boxers, but had Ami's hand clasped safely in his. Hiiro was wearing boxers, and flipping through some sort of book. Mamoru was passed out on the table. Someone had apparently drawn on his face, since the man now sported human graffiti. Minako didn't appear to see anything out of the ordinary and walked right by him and plopped down at the table.
"Duo's here about Usagi being Sailor Moon, just so you know," Minako announced with great importance.
Mamoru groaned and lifted his head. He blinked his eyes, and then looked at Duo solemnly. "Please don't tell me you broke up with her," he mumbled.
Ami sniffed. "That's old news, Mamoru."
The raven haired man paused, seemed to lose his train of thought, and then just sat there for a while. He suddenly noticed the milk on his face, and a frown crossed his features. "Now what just happened?"
"Duo's here asking about Sailor Moon and Usagi," Yohji said without really bothering to look. From his point of view it was much too early and he was much too hung over to think even a small bit deeply about anything. Duo noticed this and sat down carefully, knowing that if he asked the right questions, they'd tell him anything he wanted to know.
"Why didn't Usagi ever tell me?" he asked again.
No one answered. Ami looked at Minako expectantly, but was greeted by a slightly frightening growl. The blue haired woman considered the implications for a long moment, and then laboriously decided that this left the story telling up to her. If there was to be any storytelling at all, that was. She valiantly struggled to brush the now unfortunately familiar fog from the edges of her vision.
"So Mr. Maxwell. Why do you think we should tell you anything?"
Duo watched in great interest as Ami wobbled. It appeared that she had no idea that she was leaning in her chair like that. And why the hell did she think he wanted to know? He-
And then he stopped. Why did he want to know? He and Usagi were over. Whatever they had was gone, so there was no real reason to open old sores back up, right? But on the other had...
"It'd be nice to know the reason behind the way she acted sometimes," he said quietly.
Minako, suddenly deciding that Ami was no longer worthy of being Chief Storyteller, leaped to the opportunity. "Well listen up, then. The story really isn't all that terrific. So about a thousand or so years ago she was this hoity toity princess, you know what I mean. Well, she was an alien, and then was killed. Oh yeah. Me an' Ami were there too. As princesses," she snapped at Yohji, whose mouth was resembling a balloon that someone was blowing too much air into. As soon as he processed the words, his mouth deflated some, much to her relief.
"As I was saying, we were all brutally and tragically murdered by this crazy lady named Beryl, who was in love with Prince Endy over here. We were all reborn in this time period, as the Sailor Senshi!" she cried, striking a pose.
Ami kicked her.
"Right!" Minako hurried on, not wanting to be the recipient of another violent outburst. "Things happened, we died numerous times, killed lots of monsters, saved the world way too many times if you ask me-"
"No one did," Mamoru muttered.
Minako shot a deadly glare at the man and then chose to ignore him. "Then Usagi and Mamoru broke up, Usagi met you, changed completely, and was pretty damn happy as far as I could tell. Then you guys broke up, she decided it would save her pride if she pretended that she was over you, and then something crazy started happening. I'm still not entirely sure about that. Ames, do you have any ideas? About the thing that's been happening? You know, with our powers and Usa' crystal?"
Ami ran a hand through her short blue hair and sighed. Duo noted that all signs of the night before had vanished. Interesting. Ami sighed again, and took another gulp of her orange juice.
"Well, I'm not completely sure about who the enemy is. I suspect that is has something to do with the little boy both Usagi and Quatre claimed to have seen, and the fact that Usagi is now single. We all know that our powers grow in accordance to the enemy we face- if our powers stayed the same they could be memorized and then beaten. I think that since this new enemy of ours is more powerful, our powers need to grow to match that. A survival instinct, you could say."
"Yeah," Minako said slowly, "but what about the violence? I mean, not that I mind. Our attacks before this were all glittery and cute and very shoujo manga like. But now... That Triple Beam Blast thing of Usagi's, for instance. I was thinking about how that might of happened after that battle, and I think I probably have it. The silver crystal runs off of pure energy, right? Before Duo came into her life, I figure Usagi was a pretty damn pure person. She fought because she believed in her cause. Now, I think she fights because she enjoys the rush and the knowledge that she can do things that no one else can. Her motives are impure, and, " Minako coughed delicately, "so is her heart. This would cut off her access to the purity of the crystal, right? And that can't happen. So it mutated to fit Usagi's energy. And since we're her Senshi, our powers must be in harmony with hers, so our turned too."
As Minako finished her little speech, she became aware of the silence in the room. Everyone was staring at her. Shifting uncomfortably, the blonde offered them a weak smile.
"That's what I think, anyways."
Ami smiled in pleasure. "I think you probably have it, Minako! And since the enemy is probably male, he probably followed Usagi to England!"
Silence met this exclamation as well. Minako sighed long-sufferingly and shook her head. "I am not making anymore calls. I have a killer hangover and want to sleep. Usagi can deal with her own psychotic wannabe loves, okay Ami? This is her arena, not ours. The only thing I want is for her to get together with someone so I can walk around without worrying about the apocalypse that was brought on by Usagi being single. Do you realize how embarrassing that would be? Think about it, Ami! I mean, we get to Heaven and we have to tell people that we died in an apocalypse brought on by our friend who didn't get the hell with a guy! The utter humiliation!"
Ami sighed into her empty plate. "I think I want more of Yohji's cooking," she said miserably. "At this rate I'm going to get fat!"
Minako suddenly burst out laughing at Ami's complaint. Hiiro apparently decided that it was getting a little too much for him, so he picked up his plate and stood. At about that second the doorbell rang, and Saori marched inside along with Trowa, Wufei, Quatre, Rei, Makoto, and Hotaru. There was a collective gasp from seeing Duo at the table. This gasp was followed by a shriek from Hotaru and suddenly finding a slip of paper in the front of her shirt. Disliking the placement of this paper, she went in after it. Wufei found a nice place on the couch and began flipping through the channels. Quatre passed out from blood loss, Hotaru held the paper up triumphantly, Makoto found herself in a fight over Ami over who cooked better (Makoto or Yohji), Minako went to watch TV with Wufei, Duo escaped under the table, and Trowa was the only one who heard the alarm beeping.
They all, however, saw the man appear in the middle of the room, because everyone fell silent at exactly the same time. Minako's mouth opened. "Oh my god," she whispered.
The man on the table was drop dead gorgeous. He was wearing incredibly fashionable bad man clothing (what with the black armor with the gold markings and his wonderful black cape with the red lining. His skin was a fabulous dusky shade that matched perfectly with his dark brown eyes and his spiky black hair. He flashed a smile at them, revealing beautiful white teeth.
"Hey," he greeted. "You guys are the Gundam pilots, one of the assassins, and most of the Senshi, right?"
Minako nodded, and then walked cautiously up to him. She sniffed daintily, and then got a glazed look in her eyes. "What kind of cologne is that?" she whispered.
He scratched his head, and then grinned again. Minako found her knees going weak, much to her dismay. "It's called Dusk," he said simply. "Which one of you is my competition?" he asked curiously, casting his eyes around.
"Who are you and who do you work for?" Hiiro demanded from behind his gun.
The man grinned. "Alright, then. Introductions. My name is Ran, wonderful to meet all of you. I work for myself, although I commonly find myself doing odd jobs for Lady Elizabeth now and then. I've also had contact with Lucy and Gabe, but Gabe doesn't like me much since I'm not angel material, and Lucy tends to forget that I'm not one of his underlings. Which one of you is my competition?"
"For who?" Mamoru asked, although he was fairly certain that he knew the answer. Hell, he knew the name Ran would say just by the expression on the man's face.
"My competition for Usagi," Ran murmured.
There was a loud thump from under the table, which Rei correctly interpreted as Duo's head connecting roughly with the underside of the table. A large smile came to Ran's face, and he ducked under the table.
"Duo Maxwell! So you're my competition!"
Duo's voice froze in his throat. What was he going to say? Was he competition for Usagi's heart? Or had he given up that claim when they split for the last time? Before he knew it, words were coming out his throat.
"Nope, I'm not any competition. Help yourself, man, and good luck!"
There was a large sigh of relief from the people surrounding the table. Hooray for Duo! He had just helped to prevent the apocalypse for a while!
"That's good to know, Duo, but between you and me, I think you're making a big mistake," the man revealed before dematerializing before the shell shocked Duo's eyes.
There was no sound for a few seconds, until Minako clapped her hands loudly. "Alright! Now that's out of the way, I think we have all of our answers! I'll bet you that he's our bad guy, and I'll bet you that he's going to England to make Usagi fall in love with him. They will then have crazy monkey-"
"MINAKO!" Hotaru yelled. When she was sure that Minako wasn't going to say anything inappropriate, she smiled in pleasure. "Thanks for shutting the hell up, Mina-chan. Since I take it that we've all learned each other's dirty secrets, I vote that we all go home, and leave er, the various members of our party to consider the implications of what has happened."
There was a rather loud noise from Ami, which earned her curious eyes. Her face was slowly growing a strained look. Hotaru watched silently as there was another thump from under the table, and then a strangled exclamation from Duo, who rapidly crawled out from under the tablecloth. Without another sound, he ran out of the kitchen, through the front hall, and through the door; slamming it behind him.
Ami suddenly squeaked, and Yohji poked his head out from under the table. "Ami, what *are* you doing?"
"You wish I was doing something!" she snapped, kicking her foot upwards.
Yohji laughed, swooped out from under the table, picked her up, and carried her out of the room. Hotaru, who was now staring fixedly at the shiny wood floor, touched her forehead and cleared her throat.
"Right. Makoto, Rei, let's go. Er. Ami and Yohji are-"
"-having crazy monkey-"
"BUSY," Hotaru said loudly, interrupting Minako loudly, "and Minako, Mamoru, and Hiiro need to look after the house. Duo already left and is probably trying to bleach his eyes as we speak. Someone wake Quatre up. Trowa and Wufei, let's go," Hotaru commanded.
"Jesus," Rei muttered. "It's like having a freaking commanding officer."
Hotaru smiled sweetly at Rei. "I'm applying the skills I'm learning in school, Rei-chan. Minako, what the *hell* are you doing?"
The addressed blonde froze in the middle of making a piece of toast, apparently. Her arms were raised up in the air, fingers spread. Her teeth were closed tightly around the piece of said toast, and her foot was flat against the inside of her upper thigh. Upon being so spoken to, she released her leg, and took the toast out of her mouth.
"I don't wanna brag, I don't wanna boast, I just tell 'em, I like toast." She paused and seemed to wait for something. Then, about four seconds later, suddenly screamed "YEAH TOAST" at the top of her lungs. With this said, she placed the bread in the toaster and pressed the lever down.
"There's no secret to toasting perfection! There's a dial on the side and you make your selection! Push to the dark to the light and then if it pops too soon then you press down again make toast! YEAH TOAST! YEAH TOAST!"
She continued making her toast, and then suddenly broke out with, "Oui monsieur, bien... FRENCH TOAST!"
"Minako," Rei said in utter amazement, "what the hell are you singing?"
The blonde paused in the middle of her toast making, turned around, and smiled widely. "Oh, it's the Toast Song! It's really not all that funny in and of itself, but they think they're just so damn funny when they sing it, that it makes everyone else laugh. Like this knock knock joke for example. Okay Rei, you start."
Rei looked uncertain, but decided to give it a go. "Knock knock," she said with a raised eyebrow.
"Who's there?" Minako asked quickly.
Rei opened her mouth, and then stopped. She then gave Minako a blank stare. The blonde evidently thought this was the funniest thing she had ever heard in her entire life, because she doubled over laughing. Hotaru gave Minako a strange look, and made for the door, deciding that it was just too much for her supreme businesswoman-self to deal with in addition to a possible apocalypse hanging like a dirty black cloud on the horizon. Because really, if it wasn't going to be a huge nuclear explosion or something beautifully man-made like that, then she was going to be called on to destroy the world with her kick ass magical destructive powers. God knows that would be fun.
Taking their cues from Hotaru, the others slowly slunk out the door as well. Minako, who was finished making her toast, sat herself back down at the table. Hiiro slowly took a seat across from her. Minako bit into her cinnamon-sugar toast, and smiled.
"I really do like toast," she confessed to Hiiro.
The man grunted in return. Minako's smile fell, and she put her toast down on the table. "Hiiro," she began in a small voice, "this really isn't working out very well."
Hiiro became suddenly very still. For one glorious second, Minako was sure that maybe he would rise up and tell her that no, he didn't want her to leave-
But no. He simply sat there. Minako felt the heavy threat of tears build up behind her eyes and pushed them back with every ounce of will she had. She drew a shaky smile to her lips and stood up. Reaching over to the top cupboard, she pulled out her jean skirt and her flip flops. Slipping into her clothes, she slung her purse off the chair and onto her shoulder.
"You know," she said quietly, "I was once cursed by a man I fell in love with. He turned out to be my enemy. He told me that I would never find true love, and that way I would never again have to choose between duty and love. I guess I should quit trying, huh?"
She got no response. Her heart heaved a heavy sigh and pulled up another sheet of armor against the world. "Thanks for everything, Yui. It was fun while it lasted. Kind of," she amended with a bitter smile.
Then, without another word, she crossed over to him, gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek, and left. Hiiro sat there in that chair for a long time afterwards, feeling the warmth her lips had left on his cheek. He didn't move. He didn't speak. He simply sat there thinking. Watching the clock. Waiting for something-
alone.
IN ENGLAND..
The woman folded her arms. "No you dolt, I'm your mother's evil twin sister, therefore your evil Aunt Lily. So you're my sister's pretty little brat. Nice to finally meet you, I suppose. I see you've met my sons, Davy and Jakkin. You're driving Serenity absolutely crazy, you know. I salute you. You really shouldn't smoke though, it's a terribly unattractive habit. Believe me, I know. I'm a very vain person, which means I generally have access to a mirror at all times. I also used to smoke, and so posed for several "sexy" smoking poses. Not surprisingly, I found none. Dear God, kids! You're not even dressed for the dinner tonight! Usagi, I'd dress nicely. I have a lovely black piece I wanted to give you, and I think that Ran might have something for you as well. Diamond, didn't you have a dress for her too?"
Startled at being addressed (and still trying to get over this much more aggressive version of the most "anti-everything-Usagi-was" woman in the universe. He pushed silver bangs from his eyes and smiled charmingly at Usagi, who snorted. "Yes, I do. It's waiting in your room, I believe," he said with a bow.
Usagi kept a perfectly straight face. "Thank you very much Di-kun, I appreciate it. Thank you all very much for the fun, I'll enjoy the fruits of my labors," she said with a smirk.
Everyone seemed to suddenly realize that she actually did have incriminating pictures of them, because they all surged towards her as one body. Usagi pumped her fist in the air with a whoop, and then vanished in a crackle of black electricity. Everyone roared angrily, but slunk off to their rooms. Some made like Usagi and vanished. Others melted into the floorboards or the walls. Others still simply flew at super-speed down the hall to their rooms. After everyone was gone except for Jadeite, Kunzite, and Harry, Elizabeth eased herself from a picture frame.
"Ahhhh," she sighed. "I utterly despise traveling through picture frames. What are you doing? Ah, Lily darling! You made it! Wonderful! Can your sister make it, or is she still beating herself up about letting her daughter being reborn into a sinful family?"
The lavender haired woman put her arms around the older woman in a hug and squeezed tightly. "I actually think that she's going to make it. Granted, she's mostly coming to scold Usagi for leaving Mamoru and then Duo and for the abominable moral state of her soul, but that's to be expected. Is Ran here yet?"
Elizabeth nodded, and flashed a wide, clean smile. "Yes, he is! He looks more handsome than ever, and can't keep himself from talking about our dear Usagi. It's cute, in a bizarre kind of way. Harry? Is there something the matter?"
He swallowed dry. "Uh, I was just wondering if the Ministry of Magic ever got on your back for all of this, uh, you know, magic."
Elizabeth tilted her head back and laughed. "Dear mother, yes! That Fudge friend of yours is over here all the time to break up our parties. Luckily for us, our magic is in an entirely different league than theirs. We surround ourselves with Gods and their creatures. Our magic comes from the very makings of reality. What we do can not be stopped. We can only become more powerful as time passes. We can only hope that the one who gains the most also retains a reasonably stable mental state. I believe that Dumbledore was invited, but he said that he had other business. Disappointing, really. He's a master at decorations. Anyways. You had better go and get ready for the party, dear. You never know who you're going to meet at one of these parties. Oh," she said turning to Jadeite, "remember to have heavy sedatives. I've invited Sesshomaru, Naraku, Kikyo, and the Nerima group. There is going to be conflict, I'm afraid, but it can't be avoided. And since Serenity will be there.."
She sighed, and tugged on a small strand of gray hair. "It will be a party to remember. Run along now, both of you! Shoo!" she shouted when none of them moved.
Before she was really done saying the word, the three of them were gone, leaving her and Lily alone. Elizabeth bared her teeth in a rakish smile at Lily. "Shall we commence our planning, then?"
"We shall," Lily replied with the exact same smile.
Chilling, really. Never leave two insane women alone together. It always turns out with a man getting a flower from someone that doesn't generally know him. Well, not always. Just once. And it was pretty damn funny.
Usagi scratched her blonde head and looked at her bed critically. Upon coming into the room, she had been attacked by several moth-like apparitions bearing various pieces of jewelry. After getting over the initial confusion of the attack and apologizing profusely for wounding some of the bugs, she cheerfully collected their gifts and entered into her bedroom, imagining a nice nap.
Her bed, however, was covered with dresses. The slender blonde inched closer, senses tingling. Someone was in her room. Close. Whoever the person was could be hiding under the impressive heap of glittery clothing. Her hand reached out, and she almost grinned at the reversal of roles in her life. Her fingers brushed the top dress, and she heard a creak of wood. She looked up sharply and was beheld with the most handsome man she had ever seen in her entire life (except for Duo, her treacherous mind whispered).
He was standing in the doorway to her balcony, staring intently at her. It felt for her like there was an electric current running out of his beautiful, beautiful eyes and into her body. He had tousled black hair that seemed to be slightly wet. A slow, heart-breaking smile spread across his face, and she felt her legs going weak.
She was pathetic, she told herself. Men had to want her, not the other way around! But still. seeing him just standing there, smiling at her, waiting to be asked inside.. It made her want to squeal, which was a habit she had developed over years of watching tear-jerking love movies (such as Romeo and Juliet, Moulin Rouge, Cruel Intentions, Ghost, Somewhere in Time. the list went on).
"May I come in?" he asked in a low, warm voice that made her insides melt.
"Of course," she said coolly, trying to cover up her weakness.
His smile widened and as he stepped into the room, Usagi could swear that the tension in the room increased a thousand fold. His eyes went to a chair, and then to her. She smiled at him, and nodded. Smiling gratefully now, he dropped gently into a chair.
"How are you?" he asked awkwardly.
Usagi smiled and sat down on her bed, ignoring the dresses. "I'm fine. Confused. Curious," she said with a pointed look at him.
He laughed, and began to stand again until she waved him back down. "Pardon my lapse in manners, madam. My name is Ran. I was invited here by your aunt. Truth be told, I would have come anyways. I came for you," he explained in a softer tone.
Her heartbeat sped up, and she swore internally as she felt a blush rising to her cheeks. "Ay me," she said softly.
"She speaks: O, speak again, bright angel," he responded; once again, quietly.
Usagi's smile twisted in a wry grin. "So you're a Romeo, eh? Well, I'm no Juliet, I'm sorry to say. I also need to get ready for the dinner party, and so I think you need to leave. I'll see you there, won't I?"
Ran grinned. "That's what I came to speak to you about. You must select ten dresses for tonight- it is not only a dinner party, dear heart. The first dress will be for the play before dinner. Then come the appetizers. Then the first course, and then the second. Then dessert. After the eating, we dance. The ball itself has five acts, for which you will need five dresses. The dresses must begin normally and grow more splendid as the night wears on. Your last dress, during the fifth act of the night, will "hang upon the cheek of night, like a rich jewel on an Ethiope's ear"," he quoted with a grin.
Usagi couldn't help but laugh.
Harry poked his head out of his door and looked suspiciously around. Good. No one was near him-more importantly, Usagi was nowhere to be seen. He heaved a sigh of relief and stepped out of his room, closing the door carefully behind him. Laughter instantly assailed his ears, and he spun around angrily.
"Shut up Malfoy!" he shouted.
The blonde boy sneered at him. "And who's going to make me?" he snarled.
"Shut up, Draco," snapped Usagi as she stomped around the corner. Then she froze and grinned at Harry. "Harry! You look good in the tux! You too, Draco. You HAVE TO HELP ME! I can't figure out what to wear for the play!"
Draco and Harry glanced at each other and shrugged. "Erm, what are you talking about? You look fine in that," Harry said confusedly.
Usagi glared down at her crimson dress, stolen from the costume closet of the Romeo and Juliet that came out in 1979, or something like that. She frowned. "You sure?"
Before they could say anything, she laughed. "Of course you're sure! I could wear anything and look amazing! Why? Because I'm the magical, mystical princess of doom and despair! That's right! What're you looking at?"
"Usagi," Ran said comfortably, coming up behind her, "you are completely insane. I like the Juliet theme," he smiled.
She glared at his armored shoulders. "Well I see you're copying my theme, you wannabe Leonardo! Well, since we're obviously Romeo and Juliet, I suppose we'll have to sit together now."
Ran smiled affably. "I certainly don't mind, fair sun."
Usagi glanced at him in irritation. "You know, they keep on changing their minds in that play. First they're all blah, blah, blah swear not by the inconstant moon" or whatever, and Romeo calls her "fair sun". Then they both completely change their minds at insist that the other would make heaven a brighter place, so that no one would care for the sun. Why can't they just make up their minds?"
"Love is a fickle master," he said simply.
By the time the three bickering people plus Ran, who was simply watching in great amusement, got downstairs, Elizabeth was clearly humming with nervous energy. Usagi's aunt Lily was laughing loudly as Serenity sputtered angrily into her mirror image's face. Usagi felt her face twisting up into the mocking, laughing expression she had developed somewhere along the way. She picked up her skirts, stepped down into the hall, and smirked at her mother's shell-shocked expression.
"Why hello Mother! How lovely of you to make it," Usagi said sweetly, honey fairly oozing from her mouth.
Serenity opened her mouth, made a frustrated gesture, and took several quick steps towards Usagi. "Serenity! Why aren't you wearing white? Lunarians are always supposed to wear white at large gatherings! If you don't people will think that person. is, well, easy," the Queen hissed at her amused daughter.
"Well Mother, I'm technically not worthy of wearing white. Besides, red is a passionate color, and I like to view myself as a passionate person. I see you're wearing white. Isn't that kind of inappropriate, seeing as I'm alive?"
Serenity went red, and Lily hooted joyously. "I keep telling you, Ren! The rules apply within wedlock as well! You broke the rules, go to hell," she said cheerily.
The Queen endeavored to ignore her sister, and focused on Ran instead. "Is this your new toy? Do you have any idea who he is? He's an assassin! He works for both Heaven and Hell! He is not even worthy of being that near you!"
Usagi shrugged. "It shows he's flexible."
"He's been sending youma out after you and you Senshi!"
"Completely the kid's fault."
"What happened between you and Duo?" Serenity demanded. "Can't you at least stay with a man for more than a week?"
There was no response, and Queen Serenity suddenly felt very guilty. Usagi's eyes were dark, and the Queen knew immediately that Duo was a wound that would never heal. And unexpectedly, Serenity felt sorry for her daughter. Usagi hadn't done anything wrong. Mamoru hadn't worked out- Serenity couldn't blame her for breaking up with a moron. Duo had as much ego as her daughter, and so in trying to outdo the other, they both lost. Usagi was just trying her hardest-
"Usagi!" someone gasped.
Everyone turned, and Usagi cringed when she saw her mother, brother, father, and impossible future daughter making their way towards her. Usagi raised a hand and waved weakly. Just what she needed.
Chibiusa flung her arms around Usagi and squeezed tightly. "Hey kiddo," Usagi laughed. "Whatcha been doing?"
"Mostly hanging out at parties. Thanks for the tip, Mo- er, Usagi. Who're your friends? And- oh my god, is that grandma?" she gasped.
Queen Serenity started at the pink haired girl and then at Usagi. "She's yours?" she asked incredulously.
"What?" Ikuko asked confusedly.
"Yes," Usagi said at the same time.
"What?" Ikuko shrieked.
Usagi coughed uncomfortably. "Well, it's a very long story, mom. See, I used to be some crazy princess that died. I was reborn as me, became Sailor Moon, killed bad guys, and that's about it. Well, along the way I got to have a fun filled exciting trip to the future, where I found out that I was supposed to have Chibiusa here by Mamoru. Weird thing is that because of his computer chip he's never going to rape me, and so she should be impossible. But whatever. Mom, Dad, Shingo, Chibiusa, meet my first mother, Queen Serenity. Mother, this is my family. Oh yeah, this is Ran, Draco, and Harry. Ack! And this is my evil aunt Lily. Shall we go to the play now?"
And without giving the various victims of her movement a chance to shriek loudly in rage, blink in confusion, or even garble incomprehensively at her, she snatched Ran's hand and leaped through the portal and into the relative safety of the theater.
She neglected to notice that she covered a great deal of distance.
Ha. Haha. Hahaha. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh god. I just got all the little jokes I made.. Haha, I'm funny! *slaps self on forehead and falls backwards* Haha, I've been beginning too many stories. Too many Romeo and Juliet inspired one-shots. If someone wants to take my idea they can. silly little one shots. DAMN THINGS! *beats all one-shot ideas with a shovel*
Chapter Nine
LAST TIME Usagi created as much chaos as humanly (well, not HUMANLY) possible with a great deal of success. She managed to get her filthy hands on some pictures of the male kind, and really had a wonderful time. But then through some freak chance of fate, her mother was invited to the party and went face to face with her errant daughter. But what about the happenings back in Tokyo?
Minako stared hard at the plate of food in her hands. She looked up, inspected Ami's plate, and then looked back at her own. A frown marred her features, and she looked back up at Ami.
Something was very, very wrong, Minako finally decided. Focused solely on righting this wrong, she pushed her chair away from the table and stood. Everyone looked up at her expectantly, except for Hiiro, who glared at her.
"Who's idea was it to let Hiiro and Yohji cook?" she demanded.
Ami smiled down at her plate of beautifully cooked food. "Well I'm not complaining, Mina-chan. Yohji's a wonderful cook!"
The blonde woman waved her hand dismissively at Ami. "Of course! He has to cook for women all the time! Hiiro, on the other hand, can not cook, because he's used to not eating at all because he's a skinny man that eats frozen dinners or at gala dinners where he doesn't even have to cook! I must protest this disgrace! I am NOT ready to die at this early age! I'm too valuable to the safety of this universe!"
Hiiro stopped, and then set his fork down. "Speaking of saving the universe, why didn't you tell us that you were Sailor Venus?"
Minako, mouth open and fist in the air, gaped at him. Her mind did cartwheels. Her jaw did push-ups. Her eyes did summersaults. Ami simply stared in complete slack-jawed horror.
"You know?" she gasped.
Hiiro carefully swallowed his food and nodded. "We saw you and Usagi transform."
Yohji began to laugh. "Oh, this is rich! So, Hiiro, do you have any secrets that you're hiding from us?"
The other man scowled. "Iie."
Minako threw her napkin at him. "My ass you don't! You're a flipping Gundam pilot! And Yohji, you're an assassin! And Mamoru!" she yelled, stopping the man when his fork was halfway to his mouth, "YOU'RE THE REINCARNATION OF A GODDAMN PRINCE! NOW THAT'S SETTLED, CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK TO DISCUSSING WHY AMI GETS GOOD FOOD?"
Silence ruled the table for a few seconds. "So, Hiiro buddy," Yohji ventured, "you like mechanics?"
"Hn."
"Er. Mamoru, you like being royalty?"
"It's kind of worthless ever since Usagi and I broke it off."
"Ah."
More silence.
"Why?"
Minako suddenly looked down at her lap. A strange expression crossed her face, and then she looked up at the ceiling. Apparently not finding what she was looking for, she looked to the side and made the expression again, which was a stretching of the mouth and an odd, glazed look in the eyes.
"Ahhhh.. Ami?"
The blue haired girl looked up and looked inquiringly at Minako. "Hai?"
The blonde scratched her head and shifted on her chair. "Is there a piece of paper in your lap?"
Ami looked down, and then back up. "Yes."
"Okay, just checking."
Silence descended upon the table, broken only by Minako moving food around on her plate with her fork. She suddenly sighed heavily, got up, and trudged over to the phone. Picking it up, she speed dialed a number, and then waited patiently for it to pick up.
"Hi, Rei? Is there a strange piece of paper in your lap? Ooooh. Thanks. Just checking. Erm. Ami has one, and so do I. Really? Are you going to go? Why not? Oh! Well that makes sense. Yeah. Okay. No, but you can. I'm scared of them! Right! Bye, Rei-chan."
Minako hung up and walked back to the table, where she sat calmly down. Everyone looked at her in anticipation, but the blonde steadfastly ignored their pleading eyes. She continued to eat the food to make Hiiro feel better about his inferior cooking skills, but then slammed her fork down in irritation.
"Why am I always interrupted in the middle of breakfast?" she asked angrily, standing up and stalking out of the kitchen and down the front hall.
Minako was in a bad mood. First she was forced to eat Hiiro's crummy cooking, then she was invited to a huge ball that Rei was not allowing her to go to, and now someone was knocking on the door. Mouth curling up in a snarl of rage, she flung the front door open and was shocked out of her mind to see Duo Maxwell standing on the porch looking very disgruntled.
As she stood there in the open doorway, she slowly became aware of the fact she was wearing nothing except her prize Hello Kitty underwear and a little blue baby t-shirt. The blonde forgot this fact just as quickly.
"Ohayo Duo-kun! Come inside, please! We're eating breakfast, but that's okay, since you can probably save me from eating it. What brings you here to the lair of your hated enemy?"
The braided boy took a deep breath and stepped inside the house that carried so many memories for him. He kept on getting these flashbacks about their time together, and he felt like they were slowly driving him crazy. He shook his head to rid his mind of the past images, and then focused on Minako's face, which was in the present for him.
"I'm here to find out why the hell Usagi never told me that she was Sailor Moon," he said bluntly.
Minako coughed loudly and thumped him on the shoulder. "Duo m' boy! You know damn well that you're not supposed to be taking those hallucinogens anymore! Bad for the health, you know! Makes you see things that aren't really there," she said gravely.
Duo shook her hand off and continued down the hall and turned into the kitchen. Once there, he stopped dead. Okay, Duo was the kind of guy that liked it when things went according to their natural order. The natural order in this case was that Hiiro was a stick in the mud, Yohji was a good for nothing playboy, Mamoru was a cheating, murdering bastard, and Ami was a smart, sensible girl.
This would probably be why he couldn't seem to grasp what he was seeing. The four of them were sitting at the barstool table, quite calmly eating their breakfasts. Ami was in nothing but a bra and a pair of shorts, and was happily shoveling away at her food. Yohji was, as usual, wearing his boxers, but had Ami's hand clasped safely in his. Hiiro was wearing boxers, and flipping through some sort of book. Mamoru was passed out on the table. Someone had apparently drawn on his face, since the man now sported human graffiti. Minako didn't appear to see anything out of the ordinary and walked right by him and plopped down at the table.
"Duo's here about Usagi being Sailor Moon, just so you know," Minako announced with great importance.
Mamoru groaned and lifted his head. He blinked his eyes, and then looked at Duo solemnly. "Please don't tell me you broke up with her," he mumbled.
Ami sniffed. "That's old news, Mamoru."
The raven haired man paused, seemed to lose his train of thought, and then just sat there for a while. He suddenly noticed the milk on his face, and a frown crossed his features. "Now what just happened?"
"Duo's here asking about Sailor Moon and Usagi," Yohji said without really bothering to look. From his point of view it was much too early and he was much too hung over to think even a small bit deeply about anything. Duo noticed this and sat down carefully, knowing that if he asked the right questions, they'd tell him anything he wanted to know.
"Why didn't Usagi ever tell me?" he asked again.
No one answered. Ami looked at Minako expectantly, but was greeted by a slightly frightening growl. The blue haired woman considered the implications for a long moment, and then laboriously decided that this left the story telling up to her. If there was to be any storytelling at all, that was. She valiantly struggled to brush the now unfortunately familiar fog from the edges of her vision.
"So Mr. Maxwell. Why do you think we should tell you anything?"
Duo watched in great interest as Ami wobbled. It appeared that she had no idea that she was leaning in her chair like that. And why the hell did she think he wanted to know? He-
And then he stopped. Why did he want to know? He and Usagi were over. Whatever they had was gone, so there was no real reason to open old sores back up, right? But on the other had...
"It'd be nice to know the reason behind the way she acted sometimes," he said quietly.
Minako, suddenly deciding that Ami was no longer worthy of being Chief Storyteller, leaped to the opportunity. "Well listen up, then. The story really isn't all that terrific. So about a thousand or so years ago she was this hoity toity princess, you know what I mean. Well, she was an alien, and then was killed. Oh yeah. Me an' Ami were there too. As princesses," she snapped at Yohji, whose mouth was resembling a balloon that someone was blowing too much air into. As soon as he processed the words, his mouth deflated some, much to her relief.
"As I was saying, we were all brutally and tragically murdered by this crazy lady named Beryl, who was in love with Prince Endy over here. We were all reborn in this time period, as the Sailor Senshi!" she cried, striking a pose.
Ami kicked her.
"Right!" Minako hurried on, not wanting to be the recipient of another violent outburst. "Things happened, we died numerous times, killed lots of monsters, saved the world way too many times if you ask me-"
"No one did," Mamoru muttered.
Minako shot a deadly glare at the man and then chose to ignore him. "Then Usagi and Mamoru broke up, Usagi met you, changed completely, and was pretty damn happy as far as I could tell. Then you guys broke up, she decided it would save her pride if she pretended that she was over you, and then something crazy started happening. I'm still not entirely sure about that. Ames, do you have any ideas? About the thing that's been happening? You know, with our powers and Usa' crystal?"
Ami ran a hand through her short blue hair and sighed. Duo noted that all signs of the night before had vanished. Interesting. Ami sighed again, and took another gulp of her orange juice.
"Well, I'm not completely sure about who the enemy is. I suspect that is has something to do with the little boy both Usagi and Quatre claimed to have seen, and the fact that Usagi is now single. We all know that our powers grow in accordance to the enemy we face- if our powers stayed the same they could be memorized and then beaten. I think that since this new enemy of ours is more powerful, our powers need to grow to match that. A survival instinct, you could say."
"Yeah," Minako said slowly, "but what about the violence? I mean, not that I mind. Our attacks before this were all glittery and cute and very shoujo manga like. But now... That Triple Beam Blast thing of Usagi's, for instance. I was thinking about how that might of happened after that battle, and I think I probably have it. The silver crystal runs off of pure energy, right? Before Duo came into her life, I figure Usagi was a pretty damn pure person. She fought because she believed in her cause. Now, I think she fights because she enjoys the rush and the knowledge that she can do things that no one else can. Her motives are impure, and, " Minako coughed delicately, "so is her heart. This would cut off her access to the purity of the crystal, right? And that can't happen. So it mutated to fit Usagi's energy. And since we're her Senshi, our powers must be in harmony with hers, so our turned too."
As Minako finished her little speech, she became aware of the silence in the room. Everyone was staring at her. Shifting uncomfortably, the blonde offered them a weak smile.
"That's what I think, anyways."
Ami smiled in pleasure. "I think you probably have it, Minako! And since the enemy is probably male, he probably followed Usagi to England!"
Silence met this exclamation as well. Minako sighed long-sufferingly and shook her head. "I am not making anymore calls. I have a killer hangover and want to sleep. Usagi can deal with her own psychotic wannabe loves, okay Ami? This is her arena, not ours. The only thing I want is for her to get together with someone so I can walk around without worrying about the apocalypse that was brought on by Usagi being single. Do you realize how embarrassing that would be? Think about it, Ami! I mean, we get to Heaven and we have to tell people that we died in an apocalypse brought on by our friend who didn't get the hell with a guy! The utter humiliation!"
Ami sighed into her empty plate. "I think I want more of Yohji's cooking," she said miserably. "At this rate I'm going to get fat!"
Minako suddenly burst out laughing at Ami's complaint. Hiiro apparently decided that it was getting a little too much for him, so he picked up his plate and stood. At about that second the doorbell rang, and Saori marched inside along with Trowa, Wufei, Quatre, Rei, Makoto, and Hotaru. There was a collective gasp from seeing Duo at the table. This gasp was followed by a shriek from Hotaru and suddenly finding a slip of paper in the front of her shirt. Disliking the placement of this paper, she went in after it. Wufei found a nice place on the couch and began flipping through the channels. Quatre passed out from blood loss, Hotaru held the paper up triumphantly, Makoto found herself in a fight over Ami over who cooked better (Makoto or Yohji), Minako went to watch TV with Wufei, Duo escaped under the table, and Trowa was the only one who heard the alarm beeping.
They all, however, saw the man appear in the middle of the room, because everyone fell silent at exactly the same time. Minako's mouth opened. "Oh my god," she whispered.
The man on the table was drop dead gorgeous. He was wearing incredibly fashionable bad man clothing (what with the black armor with the gold markings and his wonderful black cape with the red lining. His skin was a fabulous dusky shade that matched perfectly with his dark brown eyes and his spiky black hair. He flashed a smile at them, revealing beautiful white teeth.
"Hey," he greeted. "You guys are the Gundam pilots, one of the assassins, and most of the Senshi, right?"
Minako nodded, and then walked cautiously up to him. She sniffed daintily, and then got a glazed look in her eyes. "What kind of cologne is that?" she whispered.
He scratched his head, and then grinned again. Minako found her knees going weak, much to her dismay. "It's called Dusk," he said simply. "Which one of you is my competition?" he asked curiously, casting his eyes around.
"Who are you and who do you work for?" Hiiro demanded from behind his gun.
The man grinned. "Alright, then. Introductions. My name is Ran, wonderful to meet all of you. I work for myself, although I commonly find myself doing odd jobs for Lady Elizabeth now and then. I've also had contact with Lucy and Gabe, but Gabe doesn't like me much since I'm not angel material, and Lucy tends to forget that I'm not one of his underlings. Which one of you is my competition?"
"For who?" Mamoru asked, although he was fairly certain that he knew the answer. Hell, he knew the name Ran would say just by the expression on the man's face.
"My competition for Usagi," Ran murmured.
There was a loud thump from under the table, which Rei correctly interpreted as Duo's head connecting roughly with the underside of the table. A large smile came to Ran's face, and he ducked under the table.
"Duo Maxwell! So you're my competition!"
Duo's voice froze in his throat. What was he going to say? Was he competition for Usagi's heart? Or had he given up that claim when they split for the last time? Before he knew it, words were coming out his throat.
"Nope, I'm not any competition. Help yourself, man, and good luck!"
There was a large sigh of relief from the people surrounding the table. Hooray for Duo! He had just helped to prevent the apocalypse for a while!
"That's good to know, Duo, but between you and me, I think you're making a big mistake," the man revealed before dematerializing before the shell shocked Duo's eyes.
There was no sound for a few seconds, until Minako clapped her hands loudly. "Alright! Now that's out of the way, I think we have all of our answers! I'll bet you that he's our bad guy, and I'll bet you that he's going to England to make Usagi fall in love with him. They will then have crazy monkey-"
"MINAKO!" Hotaru yelled. When she was sure that Minako wasn't going to say anything inappropriate, she smiled in pleasure. "Thanks for shutting the hell up, Mina-chan. Since I take it that we've all learned each other's dirty secrets, I vote that we all go home, and leave er, the various members of our party to consider the implications of what has happened."
There was a rather loud noise from Ami, which earned her curious eyes. Her face was slowly growing a strained look. Hotaru watched silently as there was another thump from under the table, and then a strangled exclamation from Duo, who rapidly crawled out from under the tablecloth. Without another sound, he ran out of the kitchen, through the front hall, and through the door; slamming it behind him.
Ami suddenly squeaked, and Yohji poked his head out from under the table. "Ami, what *are* you doing?"
"You wish I was doing something!" she snapped, kicking her foot upwards.
Yohji laughed, swooped out from under the table, picked her up, and carried her out of the room. Hotaru, who was now staring fixedly at the shiny wood floor, touched her forehead and cleared her throat.
"Right. Makoto, Rei, let's go. Er. Ami and Yohji are-"
"-having crazy monkey-"
"BUSY," Hotaru said loudly, interrupting Minako loudly, "and Minako, Mamoru, and Hiiro need to look after the house. Duo already left and is probably trying to bleach his eyes as we speak. Someone wake Quatre up. Trowa and Wufei, let's go," Hotaru commanded.
"Jesus," Rei muttered. "It's like having a freaking commanding officer."
Hotaru smiled sweetly at Rei. "I'm applying the skills I'm learning in school, Rei-chan. Minako, what the *hell* are you doing?"
The addressed blonde froze in the middle of making a piece of toast, apparently. Her arms were raised up in the air, fingers spread. Her teeth were closed tightly around the piece of said toast, and her foot was flat against the inside of her upper thigh. Upon being so spoken to, she released her leg, and took the toast out of her mouth.
"I don't wanna brag, I don't wanna boast, I just tell 'em, I like toast." She paused and seemed to wait for something. Then, about four seconds later, suddenly screamed "YEAH TOAST" at the top of her lungs. With this said, she placed the bread in the toaster and pressed the lever down.
"There's no secret to toasting perfection! There's a dial on the side and you make your selection! Push to the dark to the light and then if it pops too soon then you press down again make toast! YEAH TOAST! YEAH TOAST!"
She continued making her toast, and then suddenly broke out with, "Oui monsieur, bien... FRENCH TOAST!"
"Minako," Rei said in utter amazement, "what the hell are you singing?"
The blonde paused in the middle of her toast making, turned around, and smiled widely. "Oh, it's the Toast Song! It's really not all that funny in and of itself, but they think they're just so damn funny when they sing it, that it makes everyone else laugh. Like this knock knock joke for example. Okay Rei, you start."
Rei looked uncertain, but decided to give it a go. "Knock knock," she said with a raised eyebrow.
"Who's there?" Minako asked quickly.
Rei opened her mouth, and then stopped. She then gave Minako a blank stare. The blonde evidently thought this was the funniest thing she had ever heard in her entire life, because she doubled over laughing. Hotaru gave Minako a strange look, and made for the door, deciding that it was just too much for her supreme businesswoman-self to deal with in addition to a possible apocalypse hanging like a dirty black cloud on the horizon. Because really, if it wasn't going to be a huge nuclear explosion or something beautifully man-made like that, then she was going to be called on to destroy the world with her kick ass magical destructive powers. God knows that would be fun.
Taking their cues from Hotaru, the others slowly slunk out the door as well. Minako, who was finished making her toast, sat herself back down at the table. Hiiro slowly took a seat across from her. Minako bit into her cinnamon-sugar toast, and smiled.
"I really do like toast," she confessed to Hiiro.
The man grunted in return. Minako's smile fell, and she put her toast down on the table. "Hiiro," she began in a small voice, "this really isn't working out very well."
Hiiro became suddenly very still. For one glorious second, Minako was sure that maybe he would rise up and tell her that no, he didn't want her to leave-
But no. He simply sat there. Minako felt the heavy threat of tears build up behind her eyes and pushed them back with every ounce of will she had. She drew a shaky smile to her lips and stood up. Reaching over to the top cupboard, she pulled out her jean skirt and her flip flops. Slipping into her clothes, she slung her purse off the chair and onto her shoulder.
"You know," she said quietly, "I was once cursed by a man I fell in love with. He turned out to be my enemy. He told me that I would never find true love, and that way I would never again have to choose between duty and love. I guess I should quit trying, huh?"
She got no response. Her heart heaved a heavy sigh and pulled up another sheet of armor against the world. "Thanks for everything, Yui. It was fun while it lasted. Kind of," she amended with a bitter smile.
Then, without another word, she crossed over to him, gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek, and left. Hiiro sat there in that chair for a long time afterwards, feeling the warmth her lips had left on his cheek. He didn't move. He didn't speak. He simply sat there thinking. Watching the clock. Waiting for something-
alone.
IN ENGLAND..
The woman folded her arms. "No you dolt, I'm your mother's evil twin sister, therefore your evil Aunt Lily. So you're my sister's pretty little brat. Nice to finally meet you, I suppose. I see you've met my sons, Davy and Jakkin. You're driving Serenity absolutely crazy, you know. I salute you. You really shouldn't smoke though, it's a terribly unattractive habit. Believe me, I know. I'm a very vain person, which means I generally have access to a mirror at all times. I also used to smoke, and so posed for several "sexy" smoking poses. Not surprisingly, I found none. Dear God, kids! You're not even dressed for the dinner tonight! Usagi, I'd dress nicely. I have a lovely black piece I wanted to give you, and I think that Ran might have something for you as well. Diamond, didn't you have a dress for her too?"
Startled at being addressed (and still trying to get over this much more aggressive version of the most "anti-everything-Usagi-was" woman in the universe. He pushed silver bangs from his eyes and smiled charmingly at Usagi, who snorted. "Yes, I do. It's waiting in your room, I believe," he said with a bow.
Usagi kept a perfectly straight face. "Thank you very much Di-kun, I appreciate it. Thank you all very much for the fun, I'll enjoy the fruits of my labors," she said with a smirk.
Everyone seemed to suddenly realize that she actually did have incriminating pictures of them, because they all surged towards her as one body. Usagi pumped her fist in the air with a whoop, and then vanished in a crackle of black electricity. Everyone roared angrily, but slunk off to their rooms. Some made like Usagi and vanished. Others melted into the floorboards or the walls. Others still simply flew at super-speed down the hall to their rooms. After everyone was gone except for Jadeite, Kunzite, and Harry, Elizabeth eased herself from a picture frame.
"Ahhhh," she sighed. "I utterly despise traveling through picture frames. What are you doing? Ah, Lily darling! You made it! Wonderful! Can your sister make it, or is she still beating herself up about letting her daughter being reborn into a sinful family?"
The lavender haired woman put her arms around the older woman in a hug and squeezed tightly. "I actually think that she's going to make it. Granted, she's mostly coming to scold Usagi for leaving Mamoru and then Duo and for the abominable moral state of her soul, but that's to be expected. Is Ran here yet?"
Elizabeth nodded, and flashed a wide, clean smile. "Yes, he is! He looks more handsome than ever, and can't keep himself from talking about our dear Usagi. It's cute, in a bizarre kind of way. Harry? Is there something the matter?"
He swallowed dry. "Uh, I was just wondering if the Ministry of Magic ever got on your back for all of this, uh, you know, magic."
Elizabeth tilted her head back and laughed. "Dear mother, yes! That Fudge friend of yours is over here all the time to break up our parties. Luckily for us, our magic is in an entirely different league than theirs. We surround ourselves with Gods and their creatures. Our magic comes from the very makings of reality. What we do can not be stopped. We can only become more powerful as time passes. We can only hope that the one who gains the most also retains a reasonably stable mental state. I believe that Dumbledore was invited, but he said that he had other business. Disappointing, really. He's a master at decorations. Anyways. You had better go and get ready for the party, dear. You never know who you're going to meet at one of these parties. Oh," she said turning to Jadeite, "remember to have heavy sedatives. I've invited Sesshomaru, Naraku, Kikyo, and the Nerima group. There is going to be conflict, I'm afraid, but it can't be avoided. And since Serenity will be there.."
She sighed, and tugged on a small strand of gray hair. "It will be a party to remember. Run along now, both of you! Shoo!" she shouted when none of them moved.
Before she was really done saying the word, the three of them were gone, leaving her and Lily alone. Elizabeth bared her teeth in a rakish smile at Lily. "Shall we commence our planning, then?"
"We shall," Lily replied with the exact same smile.
Chilling, really. Never leave two insane women alone together. It always turns out with a man getting a flower from someone that doesn't generally know him. Well, not always. Just once. And it was pretty damn funny.
Usagi scratched her blonde head and looked at her bed critically. Upon coming into the room, she had been attacked by several moth-like apparitions bearing various pieces of jewelry. After getting over the initial confusion of the attack and apologizing profusely for wounding some of the bugs, she cheerfully collected their gifts and entered into her bedroom, imagining a nice nap.
Her bed, however, was covered with dresses. The slender blonde inched closer, senses tingling. Someone was in her room. Close. Whoever the person was could be hiding under the impressive heap of glittery clothing. Her hand reached out, and she almost grinned at the reversal of roles in her life. Her fingers brushed the top dress, and she heard a creak of wood. She looked up sharply and was beheld with the most handsome man she had ever seen in her entire life (except for Duo, her treacherous mind whispered).
He was standing in the doorway to her balcony, staring intently at her. It felt for her like there was an electric current running out of his beautiful, beautiful eyes and into her body. He had tousled black hair that seemed to be slightly wet. A slow, heart-breaking smile spread across his face, and she felt her legs going weak.
She was pathetic, she told herself. Men had to want her, not the other way around! But still. seeing him just standing there, smiling at her, waiting to be asked inside.. It made her want to squeal, which was a habit she had developed over years of watching tear-jerking love movies (such as Romeo and Juliet, Moulin Rouge, Cruel Intentions, Ghost, Somewhere in Time. the list went on).
"May I come in?" he asked in a low, warm voice that made her insides melt.
"Of course," she said coolly, trying to cover up her weakness.
His smile widened and as he stepped into the room, Usagi could swear that the tension in the room increased a thousand fold. His eyes went to a chair, and then to her. She smiled at him, and nodded. Smiling gratefully now, he dropped gently into a chair.
"How are you?" he asked awkwardly.
Usagi smiled and sat down on her bed, ignoring the dresses. "I'm fine. Confused. Curious," she said with a pointed look at him.
He laughed, and began to stand again until she waved him back down. "Pardon my lapse in manners, madam. My name is Ran. I was invited here by your aunt. Truth be told, I would have come anyways. I came for you," he explained in a softer tone.
Her heartbeat sped up, and she swore internally as she felt a blush rising to her cheeks. "Ay me," she said softly.
"She speaks: O, speak again, bright angel," he responded; once again, quietly.
Usagi's smile twisted in a wry grin. "So you're a Romeo, eh? Well, I'm no Juliet, I'm sorry to say. I also need to get ready for the dinner party, and so I think you need to leave. I'll see you there, won't I?"
Ran grinned. "That's what I came to speak to you about. You must select ten dresses for tonight- it is not only a dinner party, dear heart. The first dress will be for the play before dinner. Then come the appetizers. Then the first course, and then the second. Then dessert. After the eating, we dance. The ball itself has five acts, for which you will need five dresses. The dresses must begin normally and grow more splendid as the night wears on. Your last dress, during the fifth act of the night, will "hang upon the cheek of night, like a rich jewel on an Ethiope's ear"," he quoted with a grin.
Usagi couldn't help but laugh.
Harry poked his head out of his door and looked suspiciously around. Good. No one was near him-more importantly, Usagi was nowhere to be seen. He heaved a sigh of relief and stepped out of his room, closing the door carefully behind him. Laughter instantly assailed his ears, and he spun around angrily.
"Shut up Malfoy!" he shouted.
The blonde boy sneered at him. "And who's going to make me?" he snarled.
"Shut up, Draco," snapped Usagi as she stomped around the corner. Then she froze and grinned at Harry. "Harry! You look good in the tux! You too, Draco. You HAVE TO HELP ME! I can't figure out what to wear for the play!"
Draco and Harry glanced at each other and shrugged. "Erm, what are you talking about? You look fine in that," Harry said confusedly.
Usagi glared down at her crimson dress, stolen from the costume closet of the Romeo and Juliet that came out in 1979, or something like that. She frowned. "You sure?"
Before they could say anything, she laughed. "Of course you're sure! I could wear anything and look amazing! Why? Because I'm the magical, mystical princess of doom and despair! That's right! What're you looking at?"
"Usagi," Ran said comfortably, coming up behind her, "you are completely insane. I like the Juliet theme," he smiled.
She glared at his armored shoulders. "Well I see you're copying my theme, you wannabe Leonardo! Well, since we're obviously Romeo and Juliet, I suppose we'll have to sit together now."
Ran smiled affably. "I certainly don't mind, fair sun."
Usagi glanced at him in irritation. "You know, they keep on changing their minds in that play. First they're all blah, blah, blah swear not by the inconstant moon" or whatever, and Romeo calls her "fair sun". Then they both completely change their minds at insist that the other would make heaven a brighter place, so that no one would care for the sun. Why can't they just make up their minds?"
"Love is a fickle master," he said simply.
By the time the three bickering people plus Ran, who was simply watching in great amusement, got downstairs, Elizabeth was clearly humming with nervous energy. Usagi's aunt Lily was laughing loudly as Serenity sputtered angrily into her mirror image's face. Usagi felt her face twisting up into the mocking, laughing expression she had developed somewhere along the way. She picked up her skirts, stepped down into the hall, and smirked at her mother's shell-shocked expression.
"Why hello Mother! How lovely of you to make it," Usagi said sweetly, honey fairly oozing from her mouth.
Serenity opened her mouth, made a frustrated gesture, and took several quick steps towards Usagi. "Serenity! Why aren't you wearing white? Lunarians are always supposed to wear white at large gatherings! If you don't people will think that person. is, well, easy," the Queen hissed at her amused daughter.
"Well Mother, I'm technically not worthy of wearing white. Besides, red is a passionate color, and I like to view myself as a passionate person. I see you're wearing white. Isn't that kind of inappropriate, seeing as I'm alive?"
Serenity went red, and Lily hooted joyously. "I keep telling you, Ren! The rules apply within wedlock as well! You broke the rules, go to hell," she said cheerily.
The Queen endeavored to ignore her sister, and focused on Ran instead. "Is this your new toy? Do you have any idea who he is? He's an assassin! He works for both Heaven and Hell! He is not even worthy of being that near you!"
Usagi shrugged. "It shows he's flexible."
"He's been sending youma out after you and you Senshi!"
"Completely the kid's fault."
"What happened between you and Duo?" Serenity demanded. "Can't you at least stay with a man for more than a week?"
There was no response, and Queen Serenity suddenly felt very guilty. Usagi's eyes were dark, and the Queen knew immediately that Duo was a wound that would never heal. And unexpectedly, Serenity felt sorry for her daughter. Usagi hadn't done anything wrong. Mamoru hadn't worked out- Serenity couldn't blame her for breaking up with a moron. Duo had as much ego as her daughter, and so in trying to outdo the other, they both lost. Usagi was just trying her hardest-
"Usagi!" someone gasped.
Everyone turned, and Usagi cringed when she saw her mother, brother, father, and impossible future daughter making their way towards her. Usagi raised a hand and waved weakly. Just what she needed.
Chibiusa flung her arms around Usagi and squeezed tightly. "Hey kiddo," Usagi laughed. "Whatcha been doing?"
"Mostly hanging out at parties. Thanks for the tip, Mo- er, Usagi. Who're your friends? And- oh my god, is that grandma?" she gasped.
Queen Serenity started at the pink haired girl and then at Usagi. "She's yours?" she asked incredulously.
"What?" Ikuko asked confusedly.
"Yes," Usagi said at the same time.
"What?" Ikuko shrieked.
Usagi coughed uncomfortably. "Well, it's a very long story, mom. See, I used to be some crazy princess that died. I was reborn as me, became Sailor Moon, killed bad guys, and that's about it. Well, along the way I got to have a fun filled exciting trip to the future, where I found out that I was supposed to have Chibiusa here by Mamoru. Weird thing is that because of his computer chip he's never going to rape me, and so she should be impossible. But whatever. Mom, Dad, Shingo, Chibiusa, meet my first mother, Queen Serenity. Mother, this is my family. Oh yeah, this is Ran, Draco, and Harry. Ack! And this is my evil aunt Lily. Shall we go to the play now?"
And without giving the various victims of her movement a chance to shriek loudly in rage, blink in confusion, or even garble incomprehensively at her, she snatched Ran's hand and leaped through the portal and into the relative safety of the theater.
She neglected to notice that she covered a great deal of distance.
Ha. Haha. Hahaha. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh god. I just got all the little jokes I made.. Haha, I'm funny! *slaps self on forehead and falls backwards* Haha, I've been beginning too many stories. Too many Romeo and Juliet inspired one-shots. If someone wants to take my idea they can. silly little one shots. DAMN THINGS! *beats all one-shot ideas with a shovel*