SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE

Previously on Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer....

Cordy comes hurrying out and Angel and Fred turn their heads to look at her.

Cordy, a bit breathless: "Angel, Willow's on the phone... She's alive! Buffy's alive!"

With that Cordy turns around and hurries back in.

Angel and Fred look at each other for a beat then Angel jumps up and runs into the hotel after Cordy.

The phone rings

BUFFY: (gets up) Who's calling me? Everybody I know lives here. (walks toward kitchen) I'll be back.

GILES: Buffy, what is it?

She turns back to face them, pauses for a moment before speaking.

BUFFY: Angel.
GILES: Is he in trouble?
BUFFY: He knows that I'm ... (trails off) He, he needs to see me. I have to see him.
GILES: Yes, of course. You'll leave for L.A. tomorrow.
BUFFY: (shakes her head) Not L.A. And not here. Somewhere in the middle. There's a, a place.
GILES: I see. Well, we should get all these ... bills and things out of the way before-
BUFFY: I gotta go now.

The night was unusually chilly and I pulled my tan leather jacket tighter around me, trying to keep out as much cold as possible. There was a slight breeze that swept through the deserted park, cooling the night even more. I sighed and sat on the park bench nearby. It has nearly been twenty minutes since I got here and there was no sigh of him anywhere. I wondered whether he would turn up at all. I wouldn't be surprise if he didn'tHe probably realized at the last minute that seeing me wasn't going to do him any good. But to a certain extent it was true. Seeing each other wasn't going to do us any good. It would probably bring us more pain than anything else. So what am I doing here?

I was thrilled when Angel called me and told me that we should meet. Things weren't going well from me back home and I needed to get away just for a while to collect my bearings, to find my footing. Angel's timing could be any better.

I wasn't sure what I would say to him when I see him. I didn't exactly plan a speech or anything and saying "look I'm alive!" isn't a good opener either. Maybe the words would come to me when he's here. Or maybe there won't be any words at all. I smiled wistfully at that thought. I liked it when there were no words exchanged between us. Just nice comfortable silence and smooches. You can never go wrong with smooches.

I heard a sound behind me and I swiveled around in the bench to look over my shoulder. I spotted a male silhouette coming towards me in the distant. There wasn't much lighting around the park – only a few lampposts dotted the park, illuminating places that needed to be illuminating – but I was still able to make out his pale features, which were a stark contrast to his dark clothes. I felt my heart fluttered at the sight of him and I couldn't believe I still felt this way after so long. I stood up to greet him as he came nearer. The sheer sight of him causing happiness I've never felt in a while to flow through me.

"Angel," I whispered. Angel produced a small smile and the two of us fell into each other's arms without another word. I clung onto him, afraid to let go. So many things had happened since I came back that I wasn't sure what was really happening and what was just part of my imagination. But being in Angel's arms made me forget all the things that had been happening. I breathed in his scent and waves of old feelings, which were kept bottled deep inside me, washed over. I pulled away from him and looked into his dark eyes. The same emotions that were in my eyes were reflected in his. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too," he replied, his voice cracking a little. I didn't wait a moment longer, needing to feel him, to taste him. I leaned forward and kissed him. God, he tasted so good. He didn't fail to kiss back, matching passion for passion. Years of longing to see each other fueled our kissed with so much heat and intensity that it made my head spin. But I didn't stop. We didn't stop.

We finally pulled apart – mostly because I needed to breathe again – and stared into each other's eyes. Our arms were still around each other and I was grateful. My legs felt so weak after that amazing kiss and I was sure I would collapse if he didn't have his hands around me.

"I missed you so much," Angel said. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"You can't make me stay dead that easily," I joked.

Angel chuckled. "Damn right."

We untangled ourselves from each other arms and sat down on the bench. Angel slipped his hand into mine and gave it a squeeze. Even though his hand didn't radiate any heat, he still managed to spread warmth throughout my whole hand by just a squeeze. Some things never change.

"I'm glad you made it. For a while there I thought you bailed on me."

"Not in a million years," he replied.

I smiled. "Good."

"So, tell me what happened. Last I heard you jumped of a tower. You trying to leap tall buildings now?"

The last thing I saw when I jumped off that man-made tower flashed through my mind. I shuddered involuntarily. Though it was something I had to do, it certainly wasn't something I would do again for fun. I didn't regret that I jumped though. It was something I had to do, it was my duty. I probably would have ended my life anyway if it was Dawn who jumped instead. It was better if I went out with a bang anyway.

"Long story," I said, looking down at our hands. Our fingers were intertwined, molded perfectly together. It was a perfect match.

"Right. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

I nodded. I didn't want to talk about it.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I didn't know why I was apologizing but I felt that I had to. If I had caused a lot of pain to my friends and family, I wondered how much pain I had caused him.

"Guess we are even now," he replied with a small laugh. I looked up at him and studied his pale features. I knew he was referring to the time where I had sent him to hell but I didn't think he would bring it up. I never really thought about how he would feel about this whole jumping to my death thing – about how any of them would feel for that matter. All it matter was that Dawn was safe and that it wasn't she that jumped.

"So everything's ok now?" he asked, returning my graze.

I held his look for a moment before looking away. Is it? It's been a few weeks since I 'got back' and already I feel as if I'm in hell. I thought it would be easier after the first week but it only got worse. The voices, noises, and thoughts circling me was still hard to handle. The bright artificial lights and the darkness were so unusual to me that I had to take a moment just to get use to it. It was indeed hell.

But I couldn't really tell all of that to Angel. He had too much on his plate to deal with already and it would be unfair to him if I dumped all my burdens on him. I didn't want to cause him more worry than necessary. So what should I say? That I'm doing fine? That everything is all peachy with a side of cream? Or that I hate my friends for bringing me back?

"I trust that it would get better," I finally said. I prayed he wouldn't push any further. He didn't.

Angel nodded. He let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer. I leaned against the crook of his arm, my cheek pressed against his hard, solid chest. I should be hearing you heart, I thought sadly. I took a deep breath of his scent. I closed my eyes and pushed everything out of my mind. I wanted this moment to last forever and I wanted to remember every detail of it because I knew this would be the last time I would be here, sitting with the love of my life, all the worries and responsibilities of being a Slayer, a sister and friend vanishing in an instant.

"Whatever you need, you know where to find me," he said, dropping a kiss on top of my head.

You, Angel. I need you. Does that count? Cause I need you so much. I nodded against his chest instead. Angel rested his chin on my head and we stay that way till the first rays of the sun threatened him. I didn't want to leave. Being in Angel's arms was the only heaven I knew on this wretched world. And for that long moment, I forgot all the stuff that went on back in Sunnydale. I forgot about the bills that were piling up on the kitchen counter and all the concern faces of my friends. And for that moment, I almost felt peaceful on this hellish place. I almost felt the happiness that I had when I was in heaven.

Almost.