Chapter 3: Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

It was at that moment, that precise moment when his lips touched my hand that I realised that I didn't want to let this go. Any of it. Couldn't let this go. Would never. If he leaves, if I never saw him again... I don't know what I'd do. This amazing man has stumbled into my life and has offered me the chance of a lifetime. Tomorrow, however, he'll stumble right out. If I don't go with him. How often do you meet someone like that?

If he leaves then today will just be another day in my life. I swear that today he's made me feel every emotion known to man! I've felt angry, annoyed, scared, happy, faint, worried... I've laughed so much and at this very moment I think I'm going to cry.

Who yells 'I wouldn't have let Bob touch you!' sincerely at a girl who's smashed a vase over the head of a friend that you've probably known for over a year? Only Jack...

I turn over to my other side to look at Jack asleep but to my surprise he's still awake, with his eyes open, staring at me. I can't take this. My eyes prickle, with tears forming in them. I'm trying so hard not to cry but a tear is already running down my cheek and landing on my pillow.

"I'm sorry, love." Jack whispers, watching me.

"Sorry?" I choke, "For what? If anything you should be proud! You've made my day and you've opened my eyes more to life."

"Aye, I have. That's why you're crying all over the place," Jack whispers and I start laughing lightly. "What is the matter?"

"The matter is, Jack, that I'm stuck here with two parents, no life and a man who's offering me everything I've ever dreamed of and I don't know how to react!"

Jack looks at me seriously but I can't read his expression. So I carry on.

"How can I leave this place, Jack?" I whisper matching my volume to his. "My parents would say 'no'. If I ran away they'd be upset and wouldn't understand. I'm old enough to even leave and have my own life but something's holding me back. Is it them? Or is it me?"

"That's what you've got to work out, love. I'm showing you the path, but you got to walk it."

Captain Jack speaking in parables? Now that is a surprise.

"I've just met you, Jack."

"Aye, and I've just-" I hold up a hand to signal him to stop and he does. I sniff.

"But it feels like I've known you for a long time."

"Sometimes strangers are better than friends."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It's a long story but some day I'll tell it to ye... Look, go to sleep. Think about this in the morning. You've still got two days to decide whether you want to come with me or not."

I can't help it. I lean over and kiss him on the cheek. I'll never forget this. He turns over then so do I. I close my eyes and try to sleep but today is swimming in my head. I keep awake for hours just thinking about today and Jack. Jack Jack Jack.

The last thing I wonder about before I fall asleep is Jack... And was he wondering about me?

I wake to feel someone tapping me on my hand. I open my eyes and see Jack, crouching in front of me.

"Morning. Sleep well?"

What time is it? The sun isn't even out yet. I look to my window and it looks like dawn is coming.

"Jack!" I turn over in my bed. It took me hours to fall asleep and now he's waking me up at daybreak?

"Love, ye dad's just unlocked the door. Lets get to Will and Bob before your parents do, eh?"

He's right. I stretch and stumble out of my bed and put on a dressing gown.

"My ship has black sails." He says after I yawn.

What has what?

"Come again, Jack?"

"If you decide to come... my ship is the one with black sails."

Then it dawns on me again. Last Night. Yesterday. I have to decide. Two days. Vase.

"Hey, was that vase really for Bob's wife or where you just saying that to avoid telling me about your search for the vase?" I ask, stopping Jack in his tracks as he goes to reach for the door.

"I didn't tell you about the vase because it would've taken too long explain and I hardly knew you at the time." He looks at his boots. "Also, Will was there."

Aha! This is about Will now is it? I just wanted to know if Bob really had a wife! I knew he wasn't married. Ok, Jack had to pretend that Bob had a wife, of course, he can't let everyone in on his business! But I knew a menacing man like Bob wouldn't have a wife! Great big dirty thing like Bob! I don't mean to be offensive but I really don't like him. He's way too menacing for my liking. But Jack's still looking at his boots. Is it because of Will?

"You know, I only met Will two days ago. He only gave me a new sword. I'm glad you didn't tell Will anyway. He would've taken it the wrong way."

"Alright! Lets go!"

That seemed to cheer him up. I go to the door and poke my head round. No one there. I'm just about to step out when Jack pulls me back.

"What is it now?"

"By the way, if you ever get in a spot of trouble with pirates there's this word called 'parley'-"

"What?"

"P-A-R-L-E-Y. Parley. Its part of the pirate's code. It means that whoever's kidnapped you or whatever can't hurt you and you must be taken to see the captain."

"Kidnapped? What do you mean kidnapped?"

Jack ignores me and carries on.

"Just in case. Savvy?"

"Bloody well not savvy! Kidnapped?"

"Keep your voice down! Just in case. Just in case."

We creep out into the hall way and I see that the door of my parents' room is wide open.

"Me hat! He's still got it!"

"Shhhh! Wake up Bob. I'll get it."

I creep along the passageway whilst Jack creeps down the stairs. I can see his hat. It's on my father's desk. Both parents are snoozing lightly so I tip toe over and pick it up and look at it. I wonder how it looks on me... I put it on and look in the mirror. Wow! Damn I look good! Definitely got to get one of these. I'll be second in command to Jack. If I even knew how to handle a ship...

I tip toe out. I go down the stairs to see Jack's opened the curtain and has one hand on Bob's mouth and is whispering something to him. He then helps Bob up which I can't figure out how he does that seeing as Bob's so heavy (I should know I dragged him across the floor yesterday.). Jack must have a lot of muscle. I bet he does.

When I reach the bottom of the steps Jack's already ushered Bob out and he turns to see me.

"You never left with him?"

"Aye, I wanted to say goodbye, hopefully just for now."

My heart is touched. Just like it was so many times last night.

"Lets wake up Will." I can't bloody think of anything else to say. I'll probably end up crying again. I've got two days to decide. Two days. We walk to the kitchen and Jack opens the cupboard.

"Still there?" I ask.

"Aye, still there."

We put Will on the table and I splash water on him. A lot of water. He still doesn't wake.

"Let me try, love." Jack starts slapping Will's face. Is he doing that out of spite or of kindness? Well, it seems to work because Will starts stirring and opens his eyes.

"'Ello," Says Jack.

"You!" Spits Will. I really thought we were past all this.

"Me." Jack replies.

"Crystal!?"

"Look, Will, we'll talk tomorrow. I'll come around and give you the money for the sword. Is that alright?"

Will's rubbing his head and looking at Jack. I don't think he heard me.

"You knocked me out!"

I'm going to scream at him. I am. I just manage to control myself and say with clenched fists. "Will, could you just leave, please, I'll see you tomorrow."

He looks hurt but I really don't care. I'm tired, hungry and just fed up with everything but Jack. And that's who Will is trying to pick a stupid fight with.

"What about the pirate? Did he hurt you?"

"NO, he didn't hurt me. Will just leave."

"And is the pirate leaving too?"

I'm about to say that it's none of his business and that I can decide who leaves and who stays for myself when Jack says:

"Yes, I'll be leaving now."

I'm put out. Is he really leaving? Now? I look at him and he gives me a nod as if to say "Its for the best."

"Well, you, you better watch yourself!!" Will points his finger in Jacks face and then walks out the kitchen. Me and Jack follow not being bothered to reply and finding Will a tad funny. Will stops at the door to glare at Jack but Jack opens it, walks out and turns to me.

"We're not leaving for another two nights... so if you change your mind..."

I really want to scream now. For a different reason, though. I want to scream something like "Jack don't leave me!" or "I'm coming with you!" but something obstructs my throat and I just manage a croaked: "If I change my mind."

Jack walks off the step and turns to me. He makes a "so long" gesture with his hand and his eyes look into mine. Just as he's about to turn and walk away I see longing in his eyes. Longing for me to come. I don't know what to say but the pain in my heart echoes around my body as I watch him stride out of sight.

"I'll be going then."

I turn to look at Will completely forgetting that he was there but my eyes are full of anger for him.

"I'll see you later about the price."

He then walks out but I shut the door straight away not bothering to watch him go.

Jack. Two days. Two days.

Later on that day I go to see Will (in a dress, as my mother insisted) but Jack has been the only thing on my mind. It felt as if last night we experienced something together just something that the two of us have as a secret. Ok, so we just shared a bed and knocked out a few people, but still, it was special to me. But how can I leave? My parents would not allow me. They would go crazy. If I left without their consent, they would probably be very upset or worried and end up full of regrets. And I know that they're not exactly the best parents in the world but I'm not exactly the best daughter.

But as I reach for the wooden door of the blacksmith a thought strikes me. What if the reason of me being held back is myself? What if it's me? What if my fear for the world and the unknown has driven me to not go on an adventure with Jack? Is that it? Is it just my fear?

As I lean on the blacksmith's door to consider all of this it opens and I fall back onto the floor banging my head. Everything goes black...

As I wake, I sit up and bang my head on something else that makes a 'clang' sound.

"Ouch!" I say whilst opening my eyes.

"Sorry about that!" I see Will making his way over to me and I look around. I'm at the blacksmiths. He removes that piece of stupid metal which hit me on my head and says,

"Sorry about last night."

"What?" Now I'm hearing things. I rub my head. "Say that again?"

"Last night, sorry. I didn't mean for you to get scared."

Hang on, is saying sorry for being stupid and not realising that Jack's alright or is he saying sorry for something else?

"I would've got rid of those pirates from the beginning if you would've let me!"

He's saying sorry for something else. I get the money out of my bag and give it to him.

"Thanks."

"No, thank you, Crystal." I don't like the way he's looking at me. Lets talk about something else.

"So how long have you been working here?"

"For a long time. Since my mother left."

"Do you like working here?"

"Where else do I have to go?" I feel a twinge of sympathy for him. I know exactly what he means.

"So would you leave this place if you could?"

Will looks at me and I know what the answer will be.

"Yes."

We talk for about an hour. Talk about the people here, the streets, the work and the docks. I tell him that I go out trading at night and he raises his eyebrows at me, telling me that it's dangerous. Well that's exactly why I do it. But I don't tell him that, nor about how I feel freedom while I'm there.

I make my way home with more understanding and knowledge of Will Turner. So that's why he's so stupid and oblivious of everything; he never had complete training at school.

However, my thoughts still have been on Jack. He's been playing in my mind even when Will was talking.

When I reach home, I take out my key and unlock the front door. I walk inside. My immediate attention is drawn to the kitchen. I can see something shiny in there. That's strange; my mum doesn't usually wash the cutlery that clean. It feels weird. There's a different atmosphere here. As I slowly walk towards the kitchen the shiny thing registers in my mind and I freeze. Stop. Shut down. Completely.

There, is my sword. And there, sitting with it is my father. Oh my God. My sword is just lying there on the table. I know what's coming; I know what's coming... I don't think I can bear this.

"CRYSTAL! COME HERE NOW!" My dad roars, shaking the whole house. I slowly walk into the kitchen full of panic and fear. I look at my sword. It's just a sword. A new sword. There's nothing wrong with owning a sword is there?

"What is this?"

"Its a sword."

"I bloody well know it's a sword!! What's it doing in your room?"

"Its mine."

"What are YOU doing with a sword?"

"Father its mine. And you don't have to shout."

"Traded it with a couple of scallywags, did you? Is that the only thing you can do? You don't even have a proper job! And you thought you could hide it behind my back, did you? I-"

Where is all this coming from? Why does he always take everything out on me? It's horrible. I haven't done anything wrong.

"What's the problem? You own a shop that sells weapons, dad! WEAPONS!" This doesn't seem fair. He's the one who always insists on having a gun in every room. And what does he mean 'is that the only thing you can do?'

"What did you have to do to get this, eh?"

"WHAT?!" What did he say? What did I have to do? DO? Does he think, does he think-

"Where were you just now, then? Crystal? Down at the docks? With your 'friends'?" He's shaking with fury. And so am I.

What the hell does he think I am? Where is this entire argument coming from? This is sick. It's despicable. He thinks I go with men?! Is that it?! I can't believe it. He has never even seen me at the docks! He doesn't trust me; he doesn't believe me. I can't take this. It's too much. Too much.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I BLOODY DO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, DO YOU? YOU DON'T! IS THAT REALLY WHAT YOU THINK?"

"I DON'T WANT MY DAUGHTER OUT AT NIGHT! TRADING AND-"

"So what do you think I was doing just now dad? Huh? What?"

"YOU HANG AROUND DRUNKS!" He's red and shaking and his eyes are full of anger. His fists are clenched, his teeth gritted. My teeth are barred and I'm hot and flustered and angry. This is unbelievable. "AND PIRATES! AND WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE?! IT'S DISGUSTING! NO DAUGHTER OF MINE IS GOING TO-"

I'm crying again. Tears and sweat are a mixture on my face. My own dad... My own father... How can he think that of me? He doesn't even know. How would you feel if your father thought that about you? I'm aghast.

"WELL MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR DAUGHTER ANYMORE DAD! AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S DISGUSTING! How can you think that of me? HAVE YOU EVEN EVER TRIED UNDERSTANDING? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT? WHAT I DO? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME!!!!"

"What are you doing there at night, Crystal?!"

And with that I grab my sword and point it at him. I'm not even going to justify that. It's disgusting. FINE. Let him think what he bloody hell wants because he doesn't listen anyway.

My hand is shaking. My arm is shaking. My whole body is shaking. I can feel sweat on my forehead, sweat on my body. I'm hot and flustered. Blood is pounding in my ears. A sort of anger and madness that I've never felt in my whole life comes upon me and I look at him and despise him. I have gone ballistic. My breathing is harsh. What does he think about me? It's disgusting. Disgraceful.

"Well, dad, my 'friends' also taught me how to use a sword. And I paid for this sword with my own bloody money. MY own money. The swords from the blacksmith. Ask him because you don't believe me! Want proof of my trading, dad?! The money is in the bag hanging by the mirror. REAL MONEY FOR THINGS I'VE TR-A-DED!!! AND I DIDN'T BLOODY SLEEP WITH ANYONE!"

And with that I turn on my heel, panting, storm out of the kitchen, without looking back. I swing open the front door and slam it closed. He can keep the money. I'm not even going to go upstairs and leave with it. He can keep his bloody blood money, which I got from TRADES. That's all. Let him use it and see how HE feels. It's completely unjust.

All I have is a sword and this dress.

But that doesn't matter. None of it does. Because I know where I'm going.