...:: Darkness ::...

Returning to Lothlorien was a new experience in its own, Buffy noticed. She could remember the many times in her first life in which she had walked this path, but somehow it was different. She was different. Darkness lingered inside of her now, in a place where no darkness had lingered before. Everything was more lucid now... more discernible: both beautiful and unsightly in its own nature. Buffy could see every leaf, every speck of dirt on the ground, every seed in the equidistant of a flower. It was immensely intriguing and somehow she couldn't seem to take her focus off of it. Yet, something else also held her appeal: Haldir. In Heaven, she had missed him terribly. Not dealing with the fact that they were unable to be together, but simply the fact that his faith, everything he stood for, and his health were dwindling. He dwelled on her death and couldn't bring himself to move on. That was what had worried her the time she spent in Heaven. She couldn't imagine why she had come back now, why her time in Heaven had been taken away from her. Had she done something wrong? All sorts of questions loitered in her mind, polluting it so much that she was hardly able to distinct one thought from another. Buffy finally turned her gaze toward Haldir; once they reached the talan they shared.

There they two sat, pondering the mystery of each other until Buffy spoke. "How long have I been," she couldn't bring herself to say it. "Gone?"

A strange expression formed across Haldir's features; one she had never witnessed before. "Ten years, Buffy."

"Ten years.... That's an awful long time, Haldir." A peculiar feeling of affliction ran its course through her veins. She had missed so much time. Time she could have spent with Haldir. Time she could have had to form a family with him and to live a happy life. "What have I missed? What's happened since I've been gone?"

"Legolas and Gimli were among the last to sail to Valinor, the Undying Lands. It was not only I whom suffered a great loss, apparently, Legolas had suffered one too and he thought of nothing better to live for so he sent himself to those lands of peace. My brothers remain, for even though they know not that I know why; they stay because they don't want to leave without me. Your sister, Arwen, has married Aragorn and become Queen. They have two Elven children now. Not much remains for us, Elves now, the few who've remained here in Middle-Earth. Very much of the Elves have sailed off to Valinor and find happy endings. Only a few kingdoms remain now and the Galadhrim still find use in protecting the humans."

Buffy thought for a moment before she spoke. "How strange it is, that you've chosen to remain here in Lothlorien while most of our world has passed by you. Tell me, my darling, why is it that you've chosen to remain here?"

It was a simple answer. "You."

Over the days of Buffy's return, everyone had come to welcome her back with open arms. Her father had even returned to Lorien from Rivendell, shocked by the news but no doubtedly pleased that his first daughter had found her way back. Although to anyone else's eyes, Buffy appeared to be herself, Haldir could see that something about her demeanor had changed. At night, instead of sleeping, she would go out onto the balcony, sitting for hours before going to bed just staring up at the moon. During the day, she had become quite somber in her actions. When everyone gathered in the town caucus for the nightly dinner and drinking party, Buffy secluded herself beside a tree and watched. The second night of her return, her old friends had asked her to sing one of her old songs and that was the night Haldir first suspected that Buffy was not her usual self.

Haldir caught up with Achaia one night after the dinner. "Achaia! I've been searching everywhere for you."

Achaia smiled at the sight of her old friend and savior. "Nice to see you again, Haldir. You and I haven't spoken since... well, you know." She smiled innocently again, happy that she had this opportunity to see him.

"I wish I could say the same about you... but, I'm afraid that there is a matter in which needs much discussing."

Achaia's eyes implored his. This appeared to her as being something of great importance and of great urgency. "Well, what is it dear friend?"

Haldir thought carefully before he spoke. "Concerning my beloved, I have a few detailed questions." Haldir waited for her to give the answer and once she nodded, urging him to ask, he asked. "I am aware that she is not the Buffy I once knew. Could you explain to me if there is any possibility that Buffy could have come back... wrong?" He didn't want to say it but it was the only thing he could have said.

Achaia thought for a moment. "What do you mean, "wrong"? She is alive and well right? What could be wrong about her?"

Obviously, Achaia couldn't know how Buffy would be different from before because she hadn't known Buffy before she died. Haldir knew he must explain it to her. "Buffy doesn't behave the same way she used to. She used to be full of life, magic, and an enigma of surprises. She was this spontaneous and fun person who'd do something outlandish at the spur of the moment just for the fun of getting into some kind of trouble for it. Now she's none of these things... it's like something dark is apart of her now. Something that's holding her true nature back."

Achaia thought hard for a long moment. "Have you spoken to Buffy herself? Maybe if you ask her what's wrong, she'll tell you. I can't prevent every kink in every spell, Haldir. Magic is a being all its own that no one can tame, but simply conger in portions. I suppose if there is something inside or apart of Buffy now, soon we shall all bear witness to it. But do not fear, she shall been all right."

Achaia walked off into the night, leaving Haldir to think of these things for himself. He walked home in the dark and found the light in the talan was blazing brightly. Buffy was up there. But it was unusual for her to leave have a candle in use, or to have any light for that matter. Buffy usually sat in the dark on the balcony, but not tonight. No, tonight Buffy had a flame burning.

Haldir rushed up the latter and into the talan to find that Buffy had opened her chest and was sitting there, searching through the belongings that were hers. In one hand she held a couple of the letters she had written to herself in her diary and in the other, another painting which Achaia hadn't seen of her and Haldir together the day before the Battle of Middle-Earth. He could see tears streaking her fair cheeks and he knew right then that she also knew something was wrong with her. He wanted to comfort her so much, to let her know that she was loved no matter what. How she seemed incredibly innocent and childlike at that moment.

"Buffy...."

Haldir walked slowly toward her, not wanting to upset her more. She turned her head to face him, letting the letters fall in front of her kneeling form. "Is that I? Am I what I've always or used to have been?"

Sitting beside Buffy, Haldir wrapped his arms protectively around her. "Haldir, what is wrong with me? Am I broken? I cannot feel anything. I cannot feel you touching me now and I cannot feel any emotions that might've been shared betwixt us once before. There's nothing but blackness, Haldir. How can this be? Tell me how it came that I am this... thing? Am I a thing of evil?"

Haldir began to weep, for this was something he hadn't expected to be discussing with his beloved since she'd been back. "I've failed you terribly, Buffy. I should've impelled Achaia to stop but I wanted to hold you again. I am so sorry. I do not know how to aid you now."

Buffy moved his arms from around her and stood up, towering over him. "Who is this Achaia? I believe she has stolen my soul and I am going to retrieve it back."

Haldir watched Buffy leave; powerless to move from the spot he sat in. Buffy seemed more like something consumed with determination of finding Achaia and exacting her soul back.