Aw... thanks, guys! It's nice to know people are still reading this... okay, 2 years are now added onto your lives!

Oooooo... Chapter 16...

Clark tried to think about the oldest man on Krypton. He had to be old. Jur-el was an adult when he came to Smallville before Jonathon was born. Time might have worked differently... but even that didn't make sense to him. He knew he didn't have to keep doing his theory if he was going to tell the truth, but he kind of enjoyed it. He always had wondered about Krypton since the day he knew what it was called. Even before then.

Clark once again snapped out of his thoughts as he heard steps creaking towards his loft. He gave up. Why do I even try to think anymore... He turned towards the loft windows. He knew his dad wanted answers as to why he went to Lex's, and what he had planned on doing that night, but he didn't want to have another conversation like that. He was tired of explaining himself to everyone over and over again. He could never just do anything—there always had to be a hidden motive, or people to look out for. He was almost an adult now, yet he had never really learned how to be a kid. He was never allowed to be a kid. Clark hung his head. No kid should ever have to go through something like this... His dad had always told him to enjoy his childhood, because once it was gone, it was gone. You were an adult for the rest of your life. Every parent told their kids that, but Clark never expected the day would come when he was almost 18 years old, and he would be wishing he could live his childhood again. He wasn't quite sure what he would do differently, but at least he would have the chance.

The footsteps stopped. It was time for the father-son war to begin. Why couldn't his dad just trust him with this one thing? He laughed inside his head. I'm sad because I missed my childhood, yet I want my parents to treat me like an adult... He was a complex individual. "Dad, I told you I wasn't going to tell Lex."

"Um... what about Lex?"

Clark spun his head around. He hadn't expected this. "Chloe." Time just seemed to stand still for a minute. "You came." Clark began to be nervous. The conversation was actually going to happen. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe it's not the right time...

Chloe tried to shrug that off. "Yeah. It surprised me, too."

Say something... He tried to find something to say to break the tension that was obviously there. "Lana's not here yet." Clark winced. Every time they had a conversation, two names brought up—Lana or Luthor. Maybe that's a pattern, too.

Chloe nodded. "I know—we live in the same house. I actually wanted to talk to you before she came."

Clark really wasn't sure where she was getting at. "Does this mean you've changed your mind about tonight?"

A perfect cue. Chloe looked up at him. "Have you?"

Clark looked puzzled. "What do you mean?" He hadn't meant to reply that way—again, it was just so normal for him to act ignorant, he didn't even realize he was doing it.

Chloe had debated coming to the Kent Farm for hours. She didn't even remember deciding to come. Clark was the reason she believed moving to Smallville would be okay. He was the first guy she really liked. She didn't even have a crush on him—crushes are what you have when you don't know someone that well. She knew him, and that made this even harder. If she talked to Clark, then she'd have to talk about Lex. If she talked about Lex, Clark might get mad at her. Once again she was mad at Clark so she ran off to a Luthor. But with Lana being so closely tied into everything, and Pete moving away, there wasn't a lot of other choices. Okay, there were no other choices. She finally decided to be honest. If they were ever going to get anywhere, she would have start telling the truth.

"I went to see Lex today."

Clark got nervous again. He squirmed a little before backing away from Chloe. "I know. I talked to Lex today, too."

That got Chloe's attention. "You talked to Lex?" She paused. "Of your own free will?"

Clark still felt a little defensive for Lex. He had little reason to be, but when you've been friends with someone for as long as they had been, feelings don't just go away. I guess that's why it hurt so much, Clark thought. He was a little embarrassed when he realized Chloe was still waiting for him to say something. "It's been rough, but..." he searched for something to say that wouldn't make him sound like a hypocrite. He wanted to be mad at Chloe for talking to Lex, but he couldn't tell her he was giving Lex another chance without giving her the same. "We're moving on."

Chloe nodded. She was scared to ask... "He didn't happen to mention... you know, anything..."

Clark smiled. "'You know?'" he mimicked, recalling their last conversation.

Chloe smiled, too. It broke the ice. She might rebuild it again—"I told Lex you were going to tell us your secret tonight."

Clark's smile faded, remembering the reason he was mad at Chloe. Just one more person he had to explain himself to.

Chloe took a step towards him. "Clark, I know how this must sound. Believe me, I didn't go there with the intention of breaking your confidence."

"But you did, Chloe." Clark snapped as he turned around.

"Not on purpose. I just wanted to see how he was doing." Clark turned around again. Chloe was searching for words that would make everything okay. She shook her head. "I guess the truth is that I wanted someone to talk to," Chloe paused as Clark froze, "and I didn't know where else to go."

Clark turned around. "Chloe, if you're mad at me..."

Chloe wasn't in the mood to get interrupted. "But I'm glad I went." She finally decided to add, "And I'm actually glad I told him."

Now Clark could get mad. To betray his trust is one thing, but to be glad that she did it...

"Because it made me realize what the real problem is." She stopped. Clark looked down at her, waiting for her to explain. "Clark, the only way we're going to get past this is if we both decide to tell each other the truth; if we decide to trust each other enough, so"

If Chloe wanted the truth, she would get it. "You haven't really given me a reason to trust you, Chloe." It was as if everything he tried to put behind him had finally caught up. "I gave you chance after chance—I even told you straight out to leave this alone, and you promised me you would."

"More than once," Chloe added. Clark was a little confused. Why she would help make his point was beyond him. "Look, I'm not saying I've been the world's easiest friend,"

"That's an understatement."

Chloe looked hurt. "But it's not like you have been, either. Clark, I look at you every day and I know that you are lying to me. I see it in your eyes. I hear it in your voice when you try to explain something..." Clark tried to interrupt. Again she had reminded him of how he needed to explain who he was. "There are very few people who actually care about me in my life, so it would just be nice if for once you could be one of them."

That hurt Clark a little bit. He was confused. "What? Chloe, I have always cared about you."

"People who care about each other don't lie to each other, Clark! People who care about each other don't keep something that's a part of them to themselves—and don't you dare tell me that because you care about me you keep things from me--that's a little old."

Clark was stunned. He wasn't sure what to think. Chloe laughed to herself. "You want to know what Lex told me? He actually told me to talk to you." Clark's head snapped up. "He told me I was the one who needed to be honest." She took a deep breath. "So here it is—I hate this, Clark. I hate that you lie to me everyday—I hate that you're keeping things from me—but what really frosts my cookies tonight is that you keep dangling this chain over us, like we're cats. It's this whole, 'I'm going to tell you—wait, I'm not. Okay, I can tell you now. Nope, just kidding...'"

Clark just stood there. He knew he did that. He tried not to think about it very often, but he knew he did that.

Chloe didn't know what else to say. "Clark, if you're going to be honest with us, be honest with us. But you can't be at the fence post forever. You have to pick a side." She shrugged. "And soon, before we make a decision ourselves. One that you wouldn't like very much." Clark brought his eyes to meet hers. It was then that he realized he could only push them so far. But he didn't know if he was ready for this, either. Chloe turned to leave.

"I'm ."

Chloe stopped and turned around. "What?"

Clark looked around. "I'm ."

Chloe had no idea what he was trying to say. She walked towards him a little. "What?"

"I said I'm scared." Chloe looked surprised. Looking at him and hearing him say he was scared was an oxymoron. He was 6'3—what could he be scared of? Besides the Luthors.

"Clark, I wouldn't tell anyone. Not even Lex."

Clark looked at her. "I know," he finally answered. "I'm not scared of that. Not really."

"Then what are you scared of?"

Clark paused. The irony of it all was that he was finally starting to be honest with himself. "Chloe, I've had to keep this secret my whole life. Ever since I can remember." He wasn't sure how to explain, but for once, he wanted to. "What's it going to be like when I no longer have to hide? I've never done it before." Clark was embarrassed. Sharing your feelings really was uncomfortable—it made you sound like someone you normally weren't.

Chloe sat down next to Clark. Now it was her time to be uncomfortable. "Clark, when I was six, I was scared to go to school."

Clark laughed sarcastically. "So was I." He had to keep his secret even then.

"I was scared my mom would come home and I wouldn't be there." Clark looked up and saw tears in Chloe's eyes. She didn't talk about her mom very often—it was something that was too personal to her. The one thing she had always been trying to forget. Clark wasn't sure what to say to that. "I would stay in the living room for hours, looking out the window. My sitter and grandparents kept telling me she wasn't coming back, but..." How could Clark get mad at her now? Chloe regained her composure. "You can't tell a 6-year-old..." she paused. "Anyway, about a week after my mom left, my dad caught me looking out the window and gave me the best advice I've ever gotten." The anger was gone. Only Chloe could make Clark so mad so fast and then make him feel like he was the bad guy at the end of the conversation. "He asked me what was wrong, and I said..." Chloe brushed back some tears. "Daddy, I'm scared." Clark looked down. That was definitely something that no child should have to go through, too. At least with his secret people were trying to get close to him, not the other way around. "Then he picked me up and told me never to do miss out on anything because I was scared of what might happen. Fear is meant to paralyze. It has no other purpose. It's good if you're a rabbit, because it makes you stand still so no other animal can see you, but people see in color. There is no reason for fear." Chloe thought about that for a second. "I guess there are some things to be afraid of." She looked up at Clark. "But just make sure what you're not doing is worth not doing. Because that's the only way you'll be able to live with yourself without asking 'what if' for the rest of your life." Chloe had to stop. She was crying openly now.

Clark just looked down and remembered the conversation he was having in his head before Chloe had arrived. He finally knew what he would do differently. If he could be a kid again, he wouldn't live in so much fear. Clark smiled as a thought entered into his mind. Legally he was still a kid. Some people even called Lex a kid still. There was still time. He might look back with regret for his earlier years, but he shouldn't think it was a big failure—the road was not yet over. He could change it any time he wanted to. And he wanted to.