One more chapter after this one. But... (sob, sob) I just want you all to know... that I love you... with every fiber of my being!!! Okay, how about I just say that I really do appreciate all the feedback. I'm sure those of you who have written fanfics know what I'm talking about. It's so exciting! But anyway-- before I fall asleep-- Ch. 17.

Ch. 17

Clark was giving Chloe a minute alone. Actually, he was giving himself a minute alone. He had never felt this torn in two. At least before he kept a safe distance from people, but when he got close to them, everything became harder. And confusing. It was like there were two people inside of him—the person he had always been, and the person he wanted to be. He might not know a lot, but he did know that he couldn't have both worlds. Worlds... he thought. What a funny word to use. He couldn't be a part of Krypton and Earth, and he couldn't make one Clark happy without destroying the other. He had switched sides so often in the past two days; he wasn't really sure who he was anymore.

Clark jumped and turned around when he heard something hit a fence post beside the one he was sitting on. He turned around again when he saw Jonathon standing there, carrying a fence post.

"I...um... I was looking out the window earlier, and I saw that this fence needed fixed." He put the post down.

Clark looked down. "Sure, Dad." He looked up at Jonathon. "How long have you been spying on me?"

Jonathon paused. "Not me..." Clark gave him a suspicious look. "You're mother." Clark just nodded like he didn't believe him. "She was... well... she saw Chloe's car pull up, and..." Clark was still nodding. "I told her to leave you alone and let you handle it, but..." Clark was smiling by this time. "You know your mom..."

Clark turned away from his dad and stared into space. It was so big—it was so fragile. Kryptonians always sounded like they believed they were better than humans, yet Krypton died, and this world still existed.

"The truth is, son, that..." Clark waited as his dad fumbled for the words. "I saw Chloe, and I... you know."

Clark smiled when the phrase 'you know' was spoken. I wonder where I get my language skills from...

Jonathon straightened. "I said to myself, 'This could be a night your son will always remember, for the rest of his life.'" He looked up at Clark. "And I didn't want you to look back on tonight and remember me by our last conversation."

Clark thought about that for a second. He had been a little angry with his father. He was getting to an age when two men living under the same roof became a little crowded. It was almost time for him to start living on his own—making his own decisions, and then living with the consequences.

"Clark, no matter how much I disagree with your decisions, I will always be your father, and I love you."

Clark knew that. But something in his father's voice struck a chord, and the confusion part came back. "What I don't get is that you say that you would never do anything to hurt me, and then you say things that you know will hurt me."

"Clark..." Jonathon tried to regain his composure. He guessed his mother was right—it wasn't easy to be a parent. Jonathon began. "I know your friends believe they are ready to share your burden—but do you really think they are ready to take on the world?" He stopped. "Because that is what they'd be doing, Clark. They would literally be taking on the world. Every person who tries to expose you, every government official who tries to investigate you..." He looked down. "It's harder than it looks."

Clark was hurt. "If you really thought of me as your son, you would be on my side. I can't do this alone—having you and mom just isn't enough anymore." He looked up at his dad, hoping to make some sense of anything. "You know this. If you really cared about me, why are you trying so hard to stop me?" Since the summer, that question had been on Clark's mind even more than Krypton had been on his mind. How could people really care about each other and then hurt each other? How could they just pretend that it never happened, and go back to the way it had been before so much pain had been consciously inflicted? We must not care about each other as much as I thought...

"Clark... in real life, people hurt each other. It's not that they don't care—it's just that..." Jonathon paused, trying to find the words. "People aren't perfect. And..." he shrugged. "It just happens."

Thoughts and emotions that had been building up inside of Clark wanted to get loose. He hated being confused. He hated not being able to understand something—not be 100 sure of what was real, and what was just his version of things. He remembered when Chloe teamed up with Lionel to investigate him. His best friend and his worst enemy. He remembered Lex, and even Pete—Pete had lied to Clark, too, and in the end, it changed everything. "Then how can you tell if people really care? I'm not like you, Dad. I don't even know if we have the same feelings!" Clark looked lost. "How can I be sure people even have feelings?"

Jonathon looked shocked. "Because their feelings are hurt right now. Son, the way to tell if people care is by what they do after they hurt each other. This is life—we're going to hurt each other here." Jonathon grabbed his shoulders. "But a family needs to hurt each other sometimes, so they learn what's important to them. Clark, despite your DNA, we're all human. And as long as we have blood, we're going to hurt those we love. But we're a family—so we are also going to forgive those we love." Jonathon eased up a bit. "Maybe this is a wrong philosophy; but my dad did plenty to me that I thought was unfair in my day, and I can tell you this—it's easier to forgive him now." Jonathon realized he had gotten off-track. "I don't doubt your friend's intentions..."

Clark interrupted. "Dad, can't you see..." He paused. He was desperate to hang onto any kind of hope that one day everything would be okay again. Or okay for the first time. "Don't you know they're a part of me? Hurting them is only hurting myself." Clark shook his head. "I don't even know who I am anymore."

To Clark's surprise, Jonathon laughed. Not what he was expecting during this conversation. "Clark, every teen-ager feels lost that they haven't 'found themselves' in high school—and I know it doesn't feel like this now, but high school does end. You are still growing up. You still have time." Clark smiled. Sometimes he sounded just like his father. That was sort of comforting. "The truth is, people are always trying to find themselves. Don't ever start thinking you're alone in that. People just get used to it as time goes on. They forget that there are more than two perspectives in everything. People are more complex than that." Clark smiled more. Now he sounded like Clark's mom.

Jonathon looked up as he saw Lana's car pull into his driveway. Clark noticed it, too. Of course by now it was dark, so it was hard not to see headlights.

"Clark, I just want you to remember that..." he paused. He came out here to make peace with his son, not restart their war. Clark looked up at him. "Every action people make has consequences. They have no idea how much of an impact their decisions have on others. Even you don't have the power to see that." Lana was out of her car now. Jonathon knew he didn't have much time. "Remember to make good decisions. You never know—you could be affecting history of the world."

Jonathon started to walk towards the house. He did manage to say hi to Lana as she passed before glancing over his shoulder one more time. This could be a night he would always remember, too, for the rest of his life. However long that would be.

"So, I'm here." Lana stated, hopefully. "Where do you want to go?"

Clark's smile faded. No matter how much he wished he could stop time at this moment and figure things out, he couldn't. For once, he wasn't that confused—and for once, he sort of wanted to be. But that thought confused him.