Chapter 7:
Sirius stared at his friend across the table. His black hair was matted and knotted, and his robes were scruffy and grimy. The black rings underneath his eyes were the worst Sirius had seen yet. His eyes gazed into the distance, a distance where no one else could go. Sirius waved his hand in front of James' face.
'Hello? Anyone home? Don't you want something to eat, James? Mmmmm, yum, food is good! Remember how much you used to like food? James?' Sirius said, waving stacks of toast in front of James' face; in vain, he knew. James hadn't eaten hardly anything in about a week.
James shook his head. 'I'm good, aye.' Sirius sighed.
'Well, there's a funny thing, here was me thinking human beings needed to eat to stay alive, what was I thinking, I'm so ridiculous.' Sirius said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. James gave him a cold stare.
'I eat.' he said. Sirius surveyed him.
'Oh, I geddit. You're planning on modeling quidditch robes when you leave school so you're going on a diet?'
James said nothing.
'Or...you've decided the reason Lily won't go out with you is because you're too fat?' James looked up, and stared Sirius straight in the eyes.
'I don't care about Lily anymore.'
'Right...' said Sirius, his voice conveying he didn't believe him in the slightest.
'No, seriously. That part of my life is gone. Over. Dead.' James said this last word with so much venom and precision that Sirius leant back from him. What the hell is the matter with him? thought Sirius.
'Where were you that night last week, James?' asked Sirius.
'I told you-'
'In your mind, right. And you were 'wherever you wanted' in the castle. But pinpoint for me exactly where 'wherever you wanted' was?' James' eyes flicked about, and Sirius could see him thinking, clearly ticking over something in his head. Then he stopped.
'Just wandering around the corridors in my cloak, you know, stealing a bit of food from the kitchens, you know.' Sirius tried to stifle a laugh, but failed. 'What?' asked James.
'Knew it.' said Sirius. James looked away. 'This is the part where you say "Knew what?" and I saw "Knew you'd be doing that, you cheap little bugger!" and you punch me in the arm, then suggest we go out and take advantage of this good weather and try and get in some quidditch practice, and we do, and it's great, and we come back, making it back in time for dinner, where we have second helpings of everything, you even third, and we plan our next prank on Snivellus, and later on in the evening we steal a few butterbeers and you ask out Lily again, and we spend the rest of the evening in deep but ridiculous conversation, and wake up in the morning grumpy and tired, late for classes where we just fool around anyway. What happened to the good old days, James? What the hell happened to you?'
'I grew up.' Sirius felt as though he'd been hit in the face.
'You...you grew up?'
'Yeah, and I stopped chasing ridiculous fantasies. Stupid mirror.' James said this last part under his breath, but Sirius still heard him.
'Stupid mirror? What mirror?' James stood up to leave, but Sirius grabbed him by the arm and wheeled him around. 'What mirror, James?' James looked at him coldly, with those hollow eyes that Sirius was still not used to.
'Do you really care, Sirius? Ask yourself. Do you really care?' Sirius took James by the shoulders and shook him.
'Of course I do, James. Of course I do. You know I do. Marauders stick together, remember? You're like a brother to me. You're suffering, I can see that, but if you-' James cut him short.
'Save the pep talk for someone who cares, alright?' and he wrenched free of Sirius, and strode away.