Chapter 9:

Remus heard James tossing and turning restlessly in his bed. Of course, this was no different from any other night. Remus was sure James hadn't slept for a long time. James sighed loudly, and Remus heard his bed creak, his curtain open, and he heard soft footsteps go creeping along the floor and padding down the stairs. Where is he going? Remus thought to himself. Reluctantly, he wrenched himself out of his bed and walked down the dormitory stairs.

'Where are you going?' asked Remus, as he watched James slip on his invisibility cloak and head for the portrait hole. James stopped, his head dropped and he turned slowly around.

'What business is it of yours?' he said, almost bitterly. Remus blinked, and shook his head.

'What?' he asked, sure he must have heard his friend wrongly.

'What do you care? Go back to bed, Remus, you need your sleep, you'll need to wake up early to finish your charms assignment, you're slipping behind and you know it.' James said darkly. Remus sighed; his eyebrows creased more than James had ever seen.

'Look, I don't know what's gotten into you, James, but you've got to snap out of it, we're here to help!'

'Oh, are you? It seems to me you're just trying to be a pain in the butt.' James said, turning to leave.

'If you go anywhere, I'm coming too, James.'

'Well, that'll be funny. Be sure to memorize the look on McGonagall's face when she finds you wandering the corridors in the middle of the night talking to yourself.'

'Why should I remember it, you should be able to remember it yourself.' Remus said, without thinking. James gave a sharp intake of breath, but said nothing. 'Sorry, I really shouldn't have said that.' said Remus.

'No, no.'

'I'm really, really sorry-'

'It's fine.

'I don't ... you know, she didn't ... I don't know if you actually were, she just...'

'I'm fine.'

'You ... you are? Well, if you are,' said Remus, his voice growing in confidence again, 'Then you should have no problem telling me where you were that night. And no,' interrupted Remus as James began to speak, holding up his hand, 'I don't want this cock and bull "wandering around, stealing a bit of food" shit that you fed Sirius. I want the truth.'

James opened his mouth to speak, but clearly though better of it. He closed it, and shifted his feet.
'Well?' Remus pressed. James walked slowly across the room. He picked up an old pumpkin juice container, and placed it a few paces behind Remus. He then moved an armchair a little closer and pulled down one of the coverings a bit, towards Remus.

'What are you doing?' asked Remus, baffled by James' actions. James pulled out his wand.

'Wingardium Leviosa.' he muttered, and Remus watched a vase come floating towards them.

'What...' said Remus, but then he realized what James was about to do. Before Remus could do anything, the vase came crashing down on his head. The last thing Remus heard before it all went black was a whisper,

'Sorry, Moony.'

o

o

o

'Remus? Remus?' Remus felt a hand slapping his face. He shook his head, and opened his eyes. Sirius, along with several other Gryffindors, was peering down at him.

'What happened, Remy? You ok?' asked Sirius, a worried look creasing his handsome face. Remus sat up slowly, the events of the previous night sinking in, along with a dull pain. He looked around the room, but James was nowhere to be seen. Seen... Remus scanned his eyes around the room, looking for other signs this time. And he found them. In the corner, the curtain was very ruffled, and it looked like someone had been – no, was – sitting on it. Remus squinted, and saw that a small fold of the curtain was flapping back and forth, which it was quite unable to do on it's own. He sighed. Well, at least he wasn't in the hospital wing again.

'Yeah, I'm fine.' he muttered.

'Did you trip?' asked Sirius. Remus looked around. Clever boy, he thought to himself. It looked exactly like he'd tripped. Remus shook his head softly, and stood up. As soon as he had, Sirius grabbed his arm and led him quickly out of the common room.

'Where are we going?' asked Remus, baffled. Sirius said nothing, but led him quickly away. Suddenly, Sirius pulled Remus around a corner.

'What happened?' asked Sirius urgently. Remus shook his head.

'What?'

'Don't play dumb with me. I saw James sitting in the corner.' Remus snorted.

'You saw...?' Sirius gave him a cold stare.

'You know what I mean. Why was he?'

'I have ... no idea.'

'Did he do that to you?'

'What?'

'Come on, Remus. This is serious. I know you don't trip. That looked like...like someone had set it up. Did he?' Remus' eyes shifted, and he stayed silent. Sirius let out a growl, his animal instincts getting the better of him. 'He...he did?'

Remus sighed. 'He's not in his right mind, Padfoot. He's...gone down a tunnel with no light at the end-'

'Don't go all metaphoric and shit on me, all right? This is unacceptable. That's so...what the hell has gotten into him?'

'Don't get angry, Siri, he needs us to-'

'He needs up? Well he has a funny way of showing it! Attacking someone...no, not just someone, a friend... you just don't do that, you know? FUCK, why... why aren't you angrier with him?'

'He's not in his right mind, Sirius! We need to help him!'

'How can we help someone who...look, Remus, I know you feel sorry for him, but by the looks of things, he doesn't want our help. He doesn't want us. And if that's the way he feels, well that's sure as hell how I feel as well!'

'Sirius-'

'Remus,' Sirius interrupted, and placed a hand on Remus' shoulder, 'I care about you! What if he had really hurt you? Something serious. That's why I'm angry! I feel like... like he's betrayed you, and that betrays me! Alright?' Remus sighed, and nodded.

'Alright. Alright! Just...don't...do anything to him. Something's changed in James, and you know it, you can see it too. Think back to James a few months ago. He never would have done something like this. We need to find out, and try to... save him. What are friends for?'

'For helping each other.'

'Exactly.'

'And protecting each other.'

'Yes...'

'And for stopping people from attacking each other.'

'Sirius...'

'Yeah?'

'Don't.' Sirius sighed in frustration, and Remus saw him literally biting his tongue. 'Let's go down to breakfast, ok?' said Remus.

'Alright.' said Sirius stiffly.

'And if we see him?'

'Punch his motherfu-'

'NO!'

'I mean...actually, no, I don't. What do we do?'

'Act normally.'

Sirius spluttered. 'Act normally? "Oh, hey James, have fun punching in my best friend's face last night?'

'He didn't punch me, Sirius. Or kick me. He-'

'Knocked you out?'

'Sirius. Just...be strong. Resist. This very incident suggests he just-'

'Needs our help. Yeah. Ok. Let's go.'

But James was not at breakfast. Nor was he in classes. At lunchtime, Remus and Sirius checked the hospital wing, but he wasn't there either.

'You know,' said Remus, as they walked away, 'He'll just be in his invisibility cloak. He probably even came to classes!'

'Yeah, that or he's killed himself.' said Sirius darkly. Remus stopped dead.

'That's not even funny, Sirius. That's not-'

'It was just a joke. Like...it's such a ridiculous idea that it's worth joking about because it's so like not even remotely possible...' Sirius trailed away at the looked on Remus' face. Sirius shrugged, and kept on walking, but stopped when he realised Remus wasn't following.

'Come on, Remy.' he said. He took a few steps towards Remus. 'Remus?'

'What if he has, Sirius? Oh fuck, oh shit, what if he has? He-'

'Hasn't. He hasn't, Remus. Would our Prongs do that?'

'He's hardly our Prongs anymore! What if...oh God, what if-'

'What if he's standing right behind you, staring at you like you're crazy?' Sirius said. Remus whirled around.

'Hello, James.' said Sirius, lowly. James just stared at them coldly. 'You gonna say something? Hello is traditional, James, but "hi" or "hey" is acceptable.' James stared numbly at the two, then took a few paces towards Remus.

'Listen, Remus,' he said, with an anxious look on his face, completely disregarding Sirius'I'm...I'm...words can't describe the...excruciating pain that I feel about what I did. I know that is completely wrong...and ...and ...bad...and ...and ...-'

'Yes, James.' said Remus softly.

'I'm really sorry.' James finished.

'Yeah, well, you should be.' muttered Sirius.

James stared at the ceiling. 'Sirius, I-'

'Yeah? Lay it on me, James, lay it on me.' he said. James paused and stared at Sirius for a long time. 'What are you looking at? Trying to figure out which lie will work best? Or are you just planning another attack on your other friend?' James opened his mouth to speak but shut it again, clearly deliberating what to say.

'What's wrong? Cat got-'

'He doesn't.' James muttered. Sirius stopped. James stared at Sirius with a piercing gaze, trying to convey with his eyes that which he wasn't conveying in his words.

'He doesn't.' he repeated. Sirius shook his head.

'What the fuck do you mean, he doesn't? Who doesn't? I don't need you going all metaphoric and...' But he trailed off, his eyes widening. His eyes flicked back and forth. 'Who doesn't, James?' he repeated, trying to resume his accusatory tone, but his eyes were still shifting nervously. James laughed softly, still staring straight at Sirius, with clarity and malice.

'He doesn't.' James repeated. He flicked his eyes upwards with a mock thoughtful look on his face, tapped his head, scratched his chin a few times, then smiled and slowly shook his head. 'The thought hasn't even crossed his mind.'

'You don't know.' spat Sirius.

'I always know, Sirius. Always.' he shrugged, and gave a mock apologetic grin. 'The world is cruel, I know. Toughen up.' he said, and leisurely strolled away.

Remus stared after him. 'What was that all about?' he said. Sirius watched James disappear round the corner, before muttering:

'I...don't know.'

'Come on, Sirius. You do know. Who doesn't what?'

'Remus, do you think I would hold out on you? Of course I'd tell you, if I knew. He's...out of his mind, like you said, he has no idea what he's-'

'He's not crazy, Sirius.'

'I know he's not. But he sure is acting like it.'

'He is not. And you do know what he means.'

'Do not.'

'Do too.'

'Do not.'

'This is ridiculous.

'Is not.'

'Sirius.'

'Am not.'

'Sirius! Honestly, if you keep that up I will curse you into the oblivion.'

'Will not.' whispered Sirius, as they walked into their next class: Transfiguration. Apparently, the class had already started, judging by the full chairs, the open books, the hush that was on the class, and McGonagall's piercing glare.

'Run into a rampaging werewolf, did we, boys?'

Sirius and Remus stopped dead in their tracks, their mouths open. Was she portraying her ignorance, or slipping in a sly comment to show she knew? Sirius glanced at Remus, whose bottom lip was starting to quiver.

'Or perhaps the giant squid rose up out of the lake to hunt you down? Please, boys, inform me immediately of the ghastly tragedy that made you so late to class, so I can see to it as soon as possible.'

Both boys breathed a huge sigh of relief, which was a mistake, apparently.

'Relieved, are you? To hear that your detentions will take place in my office tonight?'

'What?' cried Sirius. 'We're only a few minutes late, Professor! That's ridiculous!'

'Yes, but the amount of times you have been late and I have let you off had added up, and I've had enough! Get to your seats now, boys, or I shall have to give you another for being uncooperative.' Sirius and Remus hastened to their seats. McGonagall gave them a final piercing gaze, before turning around and continuing on with the lesson.

Sirius, as soon as McGonagall's back was turned, leant back and spoke in a loud, fake stage whisper, 'Boys? Who's she calling boys? She looks like she should be in the class, not teaching it! Fresh out of Hogwarts, I reckon!' Professor McGonagall whirled around.

'Mr Black, believe it or not, the world doesn't need to hear every idiotic comment that goes running through your head and for your information,' she went on, a slight pink tinge appearing on her cheeks, 'I have had a great deal more experience in life than you, Black, and I am not fresh out of Hogwarts.' She gave a final 'Hmph!' sort of thing, and turned around again. Sirius watched her back for a while, the turned back to the rest of the class.

'Oh yeah?' he said, in a quieter whisper this time, 'What kind of experience?' and with that he began licking his lips and making suggestive mouth and body movements towards the teacher. The whole class were laughing, as silently as they could. McGonagall, unaware the class wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to her, still had her back turned, and was muttering, pausing every now and again to check her book.

Sirius, encouraged by his now raucous peers and inattentive teacher, stood up, and began enthusiastically miming spanking someone's bottom. The class was bent over, in peals of silent laughter.

'Fucking hell, I'm surrounded by ignorance.' said a voice from the back of the class. Sirius turned around, and saw James starting to stand up. McGonagall whirled around once more.

'What did you just say, Potter? And Mr Black, what are you doing out of your seat?' Sirius sat down hastily, assuming an innocent expression, but James remained standing. 'Sit down, Mr Potter.'

'Why?'

'Excuse me?'

'What's the point. This class is shit. This world is shit. I'm leaving.' and with that he turned around.

'Mr Potter, turn around right this instance!' But he merely raised a hand and walked out of the class. 'MR POTTER!' she yelled, now sounding slightly hysterical. 'Excuse me, class, for a minute, while I go and sort out Mr Potter. Please be quiet while I am gone.' she said, slightly breathlessly, and went rushing out of the room, locking the door behind her.

'What's up with Potter?' asked Frank.

'You should know, Frank.' replied Amelia.

'Whatever it is, I'm sure he'll have a smile put right back on his face once ol' McGonagall "sorts him out", if you know what I mean.' said Sirius, grinning mischievously. There were a few sniggers, but Remus gave Sirius a very pointed look, and Sirius shut up.

McGonagall was gone for almost the whole lesson, coming back with just five minutes to spare. Without James. She made her way to the front of the class, and gave a big sigh. Before she could say anything, Remus' hand was in the air.

'Yes, Mr Lupin?'

'Please, Professor McGonagall, could you perhaps tell me the whereabouts of James?' asked Remus. Sirius tried to hold in a snigger. He was such a goody-good, but it always got him what he wanted. McGonagall looked at Remus, as if suspecting a joke, but, upon realizing his sincerity, she sighed.

'I don't know.' she said.

'What do you mean, you don't know?' asked Sirius loudly.

'Mr Black, raise your hand if you would like to speak.' Sirius stuck up his hand.

'Yes, Mr Black?'

'How can you not know where he is?'

'What's my name?'

'Huh?'

'What is my name, Mr Black?' Sirius blinked.

'Uh, Professor McGonagall.'

'Correct. Please use it when addressing me.' Sirius clicked his tongue impatiently.

'Yes, Professor McGonagall. How can you not know?' McGonagall gave a small sigh.

'Well, not that it's really any of your business, but I was following him around the corner, and when I rounded the corner he was...gone.'

'But you can't apparate or disapparate inside this castle.' said Frank.

'What if he's hurt? Have you told someone?' asked Lily.

'Do not call out in class, Miss Evans, Mr Longbottom! I will not tolerate it! And I have to say I do not appreciate your lack of belief in my ability to act properly and accordingly in a situation such as this. I have alerted Professor Dippet, and other people who might be able to help, and they are seeing to it as we speak, and THAT is enough questions for now, I think, so I will continues on with this class without interruption!' And with that she continued on with the class, and no one spoke out of turn again.