Chapter 10:

'Where did the owl say we were supposed to meet, again?' asked Remus.

'Just outside her office. Come on.' replied Sirius, striding ahead of Remus in the dark.

'I wonder where James is.' said Remus, running a little to catch up with Sirius.

'Who cares?'

'I do, Sirius.' said Remus sternly.

'Remember what you said the other week? He's a big boy, he'll be fine.'

'Yeah, and look what happened! He came back; his hand completely munted, and depressed! A whole new negative personality!'

'He's just jealous of Frank and Lily.'

'But they're not going out anymore!'

'Well, he was jealous, and when they stopped going out he realised he wasn't good enough for her and it mad him a bit sad...but he'll get over her and it soon enough.' said Sirius briskly. Remus stopped.

'You are such an insensitive prat, Sirius.' Sirius stopped too.

'What? Just because I don't wallow in self pity every time a girl rejects me-'

'No one's ever rejected you, Sirius.' said Remus softly. Sirius felt his heart beat a little faster, but he ignored it, and began walking again.

'That's because they know I'm strong, and have...good emotions!' Remus snorted.

'Good emotions?' he said, raising an eyebrow.

'Yeah, like...I feel happy lots, and I don't get all... "Ooh, look at me, I'm depressed!"'

'Shut up, Sirius.'

'What?'

'Just shut up, ok? God, I hope I have someone other than you around if I'm ever having a rough time.'

'Gee, thanks.' said Sirius, smiling, trying not to show his hurt.

'Aren't you worried about him?'

'Yeah, but I'm worried about you, too. What if he comes after you again?' Remus stared at Sirius.

'He's not going to "come after" me, Sirius! He's not "after" anyone! He's upset! He was just like...like a dementor, that time! I just...got in his way! He's not going to hurt us intentionally, but if we get in his way, we have to be careful! He's still our friend, Sirius! James is still there somewhere!'

'Yeah.' muttered Sirius, as they rounded the corner. Professor McGonagall was standing there, outside her door, waiting. They stopped.

'Come in quickly, boys.' she said, pointing a long finger into her office. They shuffled quickly in. She motioned at two seats behind two desks. They sat down.

'No need to look so petrified, it's only lines.' Both boys breathed a sigh of relief.

'But that does not mean this will be enjoyable, or even simple! I want you to write,' she flicked her wand, and two quills appeared, ' "I will come to class promptly in future"', she said, with another flick of her wand, two pieces of parchment appearing, 'At least two thousand times.' she said, flicking her wand again. Two sparkly zeros floated over to the boys and hovered above their heads. 'I will be in my office marking papers all evening, so don't think you'll be able to slack off or muck around. If you have completed your two thousand before midnight, you will keep on going, because the numbers are linked to a time system, and if you cease writing for more than one minute your numbers will be depleted and you will have to begin again.'

'But Professor, what if we need to go toilet?'

'To the toilet, Mr Black, it's a noun, not a verb, and you should have gone after dinner.'

'Oh, but Professor-'

'No, Black. This'll teach you to not to be late to my class.'

'I'll piss on the chair.' said Sirius, but he whispered it, so only Remus could hear. Remus snorted.

'Something funny, Lupin?' Remus forced the smile off his face.

'No, Professor.'

'Then you shouldn't be laughing. Begin.' she said, flicking her wand. She walked over to her desk, sat down and began to work, and the boys did too. For a while all that could be heard was the scratching of quills on parchment. After about an hour, McGonagall paused.

'I will need to go out the room for a few minutes, boys. I will be back as soon as possible. Do no slack off, or muck around, or you'll be in serious trouble.' and she walked out of the room. Once she had closed the door, Sirius sighed.

'Fuck, my hand is so sore, it's gonna fucking drop off soon, seriously.'

'Grow some balls, Sirius.' Remus said, without lifting his head. Sirius grinned, and reached his hand down.

'Already have. Wanna see them, Remy?' he said, grinning.

'Yeah, sure.' said Remus, still not looking up from his parchment. Sirius' jaw dropped. 'You better get back to your parchment, Sirius.' Sirius shook his head, and leant down, Remus' words still running through his head. He shook his head again, trying to clear his head, and calm his heart.

'I was joking, by the way, Sirius.' said Remus. Sirius looked up, and then gave a delayed laugh.

'Of course. I knew that.' he said, his voice a bit jittery. He ruffled his hair, and then gave a smile, his brain coming back. 'I don't think you were, though. I'm pretty sexy, I know.' and with that he leant down, continuing on with his lines.

'Yeah.' said Remus, absently. Sirius' eyes widened.

'What-' he began, but Remus cut him off.

'Can you hear that?' he asked. Sirius fell silent, and strained his ears.

'No.' he said finally. 'What is it?' Remus fell silent, straining his ears.

'A...a stag.' he said finally.

'Aye?' asked Sirius.

'It's a stag. I think.'

'Is it...is it James?'

'I don't know. I can't tell from here.'

'Well, I'm sure there can't be that many stag Animagus's in this school!'

'It's in the forest, Sirius; there's a lot of different animals in the forest.'

'Oh.' Remus fell silent again.

'Something's wrong.' he said suddenly.

'Aye?' asked Sirius, who had begun on his lines again.

'It's limping.'

'Damn.' said Sirius.

'Sirius, this is serious! What if it's James? What if he's hurt?'

'Are you sure it's a stag, Remus?' Remus gave him a pointed look.

'I can hear better than most, you know, being a werewolf and all.'

'Do you wanna go and look out the window?'

'What if McGonagall comes back?'

'I'll do it then.' said Sirius, and he stood up, and walked over to the window, and peered out.

'I can't see anything.' he said. Remus sighed.

'Open it, and use Lumos. And hurry, before she gets back.' Sirius forced the window open and muttered 'Lumos.' He stared out the window, saying nothing.

'Well?' asked Remus, after a while.

'It's...it is a stag.' he muttered.

'And? Is it James?'

Sirius shook his head softly. 'I...I don't know.' Remus swore.

'How can you not know?' Sirius shook his head.

'It...it looks like James...but...' he trailed off.

'But what, Sirius? Oh for crying out loud...' Remus stood up and joined Sirius at the window.

'Can you see him...ah, it?' asked Sirius.

At first, Remus couldn't. He flicked his eyes back and forth until they became accustomed to the dark outside. And then he saw it.

The stag stood on the opposite side of the lake, glittering in the dappled light that was falling down from the crescent moon sitting in the dark sky. It's reflection rippled in the deep black of the lake. Something silver was glinting in the moonlight, something the stag was holding in its mouth, it's ends dangerously sharp. Remus watched as it limped over to a nearby tree, and became shrouded in darkness once more. Remus squinted his eyes, and could just see the stag throwing its head back, and forcing the silver into the side of the tree. The tree shook slightly, a few leaves parting from the branches, falling like tears down upon the animal. The stag walked to the edge of the lake, and peered at its reflection. Suddenly, it gave a shake, and disappeared. Remus squinted, and saw that in place of the stag was a young man, his glasses reflecting the moonlight, his untidy black hair shrinking into shadow.

'James,' Remus whispered, his breath caught in his throat.

'JAMES!' shouted Sirius, but the young man made no sign of having heard him. James stared into the darkness of the lake, which looked like it was about to reach up and consume him. He took one last glance and stood up. He scrunched his face up in concentration, and in this position Remus could see the silver tears running down his face. Suddenly, he was a man no more, but the elegant stag he had been.

'What's he doing?' muttered Sirius. 'JAMES!' he shouted again. Remus couldn't speak. He felt like he was about to throw up, frozen with sick anticipation. He wanted to grab Sirius, to scream at him, make him understand what their friend was about to do. He wanted to be sick, he wanted to shout out, he wanted to make him stop, he wanted to wake up, but all he could do was stand, and look, and feel the cold wind licking around his cheeks...and his heart.
The stag looked up at the moon; a last, cold, wistful glance. It then looked down at its feet, and even as an animal, the silver tears were leaking down its face. Remus suddenly noticed the deep cuts covering the stag's body, some which were bleeding freely. The stag looked up, and stared squarely at the tree. Suddenly it threw back its head, and began to canter as fast as it could at the glinting blade.

'NO!' cried out Remus, the sound ripping out of his throat and through the air, but it was too late; the dagger plunged into the stag's chest. It stumbled back, leaking tears of blood onto the damp grass below. It staggered backwards, until its hind legs splashed at the dark lake. Then, it reared back on its hind legs once more, and began to canter, slower this time, at the silver weapon, which was smiling in the moonlight, crying tears of blood.

'PRONGS, NO!' roared Sirius. He exchanged his human body for his canine form, and threw himself out of the window, which was over five stories high. Remus watched the black shape fall to the ground, buckling at the impact. It remained there, motionless.

Remus fell to his knees, retching, emptying his stomach of all its contents, and more. He hauled himself up again, knowing he should do something more than just watch, but he couldn't.

He saw a black shape moving towards the stag, and it was a second before he recognized Sirius. The dog ran towards the stag, his teeth bared, and jumped on him, pushing him to the ground, growling. Remus watched, horrified, the worst thoughts running through his mind. The stag made a few feeble attempts at lifting itself, but it was now much too weak, and blood was pouring copiously from its wounds. The dog began to lap up the blood, and then put its paws firmly on the worst wounds, and gave a loud howl. It looked startled to hear the sound coming from itself, and Remus watched as the Labrador shook, and morphed into his friend.

'REMUS! GET HELP! FUCKING HELL, DO SOMETHING!' he roared. Remus stumbled backward to the door, and fumbled with the door handle. It clicked open, but not of his accord. McGonagall's face appeared, looking stern.

'Mr Lupin, what are you doing out of your seat?' Remus staggered backwards, and tried to force himself to speak.

'James...Sirius...outside...help...please...' he managed to get out. He rushed to the window, and looked down. The young man was still there, trying to apply pressure to the wounds of the stag. Of the stag. Oh shit, thought Remus.

'JAMES! CHANGE BACK! MCGONAGALL...' he tried to yell, but his cries became hoarse and he could no longer get any sound to come out, only rasps. Sirius, however, got the gist of what Remus was trying to say, and leant down, whispering to the stag.

'Come on James, change back, McGonagall will see you! Come on, James, come on!' but the stag only looked up at Sirius with cold, dark, watery eyes, and then looked sadly away. It lay its head down on the grass, it's eyes slowly drifting shut.

'NO!' cried Sirius and he began shaking the animal, mumbling incoherently, tears leaking down his cheeks. His hands suddenly lost their grip, and Sirius looked blindly around, wondering frantically where the stag had gone. He looked down, and saw neither the animal, nor the dewy grass, but his oldest and dearest friend, still crying, still bleeding, and still drifting off to a place where Sirius couldn't follow, a land of no return.