My Seventh Year (temporary title)

This story is going to be a lot more serious that my other ones, I'm going to put more effort into it and there will be less fluffy bits. But I think it'll be good anyways. It's also a bit more mature that my other stories, which is why it's rated PG-13.

Summary: The Marauders' (and crew's) seventh year at Hogwarts, told through the eyes of a grown up Lily Evans.

Rating: PG-13, being cautionary. Sex is mentioned in this chapter, nothing descriptive or anything though.

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Chapter 1: Lessons in 'I Love Yous'

Life is full of grief and pain, and people handle it in different ways. When my father died when I was twelve, I cried my eyes out for two months straight, and constantly questioned why it was him who had to go. Then my friend from school, Bridget, told me how she had lost both her parents in a car crash when she was eleven, and now lived with her grandmother, whom she hated. I realized I was lucky. I still had my mum, and my sister Petunia, ignoring the fact that Petunia now hated me.

Dad's death is the only reason I can find for Petunia hating me. She blames me for it, for not being there to fix him. You see, I am a witch. When I was eleven years old, I received a letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and everyone in my family was thrilled, even Petunia. I'm sure she was somewhat jealous, I would have been too, but instead she just supported me, and hugged me tightly on Platform Nine and Three Quarters when I left for my first year.

"Petty, I don't want to go anymore... They won't like me."

"Of course they will, Chicky." Petunia assured me. "Why wouldn't they?"

Chicky. Petunia had called me that since I was two as a way of rebelling against our names, but since Dad died, I haven't heard it from her at all. Mum had a slight obsession with flowers, and named my sister and I accordingly. She was Petunia Evans, and I was Lily Marie Evans.

Dad's liver failed while I was at Hogwarts during my second year, just after Christmas. I had left three days earlier than usual to spend sometime with Bridget, who had stayed at Hogwarts for the holidays. Dad's condition was one that could be cured with magic, but what Petunia didn't and refused to understand was that the sort of potion-brewing and magic needed was beyond NEWT level, and even if I had been there, I wouldn't have been much use.

While Petunia found solace in blaming me, Mum went crazy, and pulled out all her old hippie-clothes from the sixties, when Petunia and I were younger. She cleaned out the house of all things that fell into her 'consumer crap' category, which included the television, the radio, all of Petunia's fashion magazines, and most of our furniture. I had to beg quite profusely for her to keep the stove and refrigerator, and she conceded only after I pointed out that we needed a place to keep our food and something to cook it with. All our nice furniture was replaced with tacky old sofas Mum bought at a discount place, the kind you sunk into and couldn't get out of, the doors were replaced with beaded curtains (with the exception of our bedrooms), bean bags were scattered about the floor, and the entire house soon smelled of incense.

Mum went vegetarian and tried to convince Petunia and I to do the same. Petunia outright refused, but I agreed, only to please Mum. We ate soy products and organics, and meat, chocolate, and sweets were forbidden. My Mum became a genuine hippie, got hippie friends, and went to animal-rights and environmental protests every other week.

Aside from not being allowed to eat chocolate and not having my dad anymore, my life was good. At Hogwarts I excelled in all my classes (mostly with hard work, although I seemed to have a natural knack for Charms), and made good friends.

In my first year, I met Alice Prewett, known to most of the school as the younger sister of the infamous Prewett twins, Gideon and Fabian, who were five years older, both prefects, and extremely popular. She came into my compartment on the Hogwarts Express and timidly asked if I minded her sitting with me, and I said I didn't. It wasn't like anyone else was going to sit with me – I was a muggleborn, someone who didn't come from a Wizarding family. But that didn't bother Alice, in fact she found it quite interesting, as she was a pureblood, and asked me several questions (some of them rather stupid) about life as a muggle.

The thing about Wizarding society is they take background and family very seriously. Some pureblood Wizarding families believe that they're superior to half-bloods (one side of the family was muggle at some point) and muggleborns. They go as far as to say that muggleborns and half-bloods shouldn't be a part of the Wizarding world at all. Luckily, not all wizards are like that.

"Is it true that muggles don't have sweets?" Alice asked.

"Yes." I said deadpan, trying not to laugh at the look of horror that came across Alice's rosy round face.

"Really?" she asked, wanting to clarify. It was then that I broke out into laughter and she realized I had been joking. She had been 'taking the piss' as Alice put it, in her Geordie accent. That distinct accent was about the only physical aspect of Alice that really stood out, which was a pity, considering who unique she was inside. She was short, and her face was shrouded in blonde corkscrew ringlets that fell to about mid-neck, and her eyes were a soft blue.

This was a sharp contrast to me, with my deep red hair, pale complexion and green eyes. My eyes were the worst, a startling emerald green that dulled the rest of my face, but I loved them, because they were Dad's as well. I was also one of those girls who developed early, meaning I had boobs by the age of eleven and curves by the age of thirteen.

Posiana Sanchez, or 'Posy' as we called her, entered our compartment about half an hour later. She had been sitting with her older sister Maria, a fifth-year, until Maria's boyfriend had shown up wanting a snog.

Posy was my idea of perfect beauty – tall and leggy. She was Portuguese, and had the tanned complexion, dark hair and beautiful brown eyes to go with it.

And that was that. All three of us were sorted into Gryffindor, and by the end of my first year we were inseparable. Rather exclusive as well – Posy seemed to find anyone other that Alice, Sirius Black, or me a total waste of her time, which meant my friends were rather limited, but easily the best in the world.

My second year, Alice and I decided we could be friends with people who Posy wasn't exactly fond of, and Posy encouraged it fully. Which was when I first began chatting with Bridget after she was sorted into Gryffindor at the Welcoming Feast. She was actually our age, and transferring from a school in America because she moved to England with her grandmother. I didn't press about living with her grandmother at that moment, because it seemed to be a bit of a sore topic, but Bridget and I related on several other things.

She was a half-blood and understood the kind of discrimination you came under, and we were both quidditch-obsessed. She also could sympathize with my about stand-outy looks, but unlike me, she embraced them. Her hair was raven black, highlighted with bright purple streaks, and fell down past her shoulders in layers. Her skin was a pasty while similar to mine, although she had a few freckles across her cheeks and bright blue eyes.

I soon introduced her to Alice and Posy, and within no time, our threesome became a foursome of accents. Living in Ireland for most of my life had given me a husky mix of an English and Irish accent, then Alice had her Geordie accent from living near the Scottish border, Posy had a slight Portuguese one from living in Portugal in the summer, and Bridget's American accent rounding it up.

Up until my dad died, I always thought my friends were great, but it was afterwards that I learned how amazing they truly were. I got the letter from Mum the afternoon he was admitted to the hospital, saying to come home, as Dad was feeling quite ill, and I did, immediately. I packed my things and flooed home, but he was gone by the time I got there.

Only two days after it happened, right after they found out, Alice and Bridget were at my door. They had broken about twenty school rules by deciding to come and flooing from Professor McGonagall's office without permission while she was overseeing Sirius and Posy's detention. Bridget opened up to me about her parents, how they had died in a car crash that summer, and how she was living with her 'miserable old bat of a grandmother'. Alice hugged me constantly and baked me rhubarb pie even though she had chided me the year before about liking it. Posy joined us a day later, after receiving a letter from Bridget about where she and Alice were.

At the funeral, Bridget and Alice held my hands while Posy gave my arm quick squeezes and offered tissues whenever I began to cry. They listened to me talk about all the great things about my dad, and put up with me constantly crying. All three stayed for another fortnight before they received a summons from Professor Dumbledore, asking for them to return to school. I joined them a few days later.

My second year was also marked with the beginning of the Marauders, a group of troublemakers who enjoyed pulling (relatively harmless) pranks, chatting up girls, and generally doing anything against the rules. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew made up the illustrious foursome that no one had any doubt would go down in Hogwarts history. It was my luck that all four Marauders were in Gryffindor, and I could only be thankful that they were all boys and I didn't have to share a dormitory with them as well. It wasn't that I didn't mind them, in fact, most of their antics were quite funny, but by third year they were extremely popular, and their heads (aside from Remus Lupin's) had swelled to such an insufferable size that they seemed to think themselves above everyone else.

They hexed people for fun. Even first-years, who had no way of protecting themselves! James Potter was the worst of them all – handsome, charming, a quidditch prodigy, and ringleader of the little group. He was constantly playing with a snitch, and running his hand through his hair to make it look all windswept, as if he'd just stepped off a broom. He could have any girl at Hogwarts – and he knew it. Aside from Remus, who I grew close to, I loathed them all.

This wasn't exactly helpful for James, who took an odd liking to me, and was constantly asking me out, either that or yelling at me when I stood up to him. But I had to. Aside from Bridget or Alice, I was the only one who would. I wasn't sure why, but the Marauders had some kind of magnetism that drew people to them. James and Sirius were the most sought after boys at Hogwarts by our fourth year. It was somewhat understandable, as both boys fitted the 'tall, dark, and mysterious' profile. What utterly confounded me was how girls who dated them actually stayed with them after learning how repulsive they were inwardly.

After second year my life quieted down considerably. I was still inseparable with Alice, Bridget and Posy, I still hated the Marauders, James still asked me out, and James and I still argued constantly.

In fifth year, I was given an excuse to argue with him – I was made prefect. I don't know why I wanted to argue with him so much – I guess I liked the look of disbelief that crossed his face when he realized someone was actually going against him. I liked how it punctured his swollen head, if only for a second. And he was always up to some kind of trouble, so I could always ask. Of course, he would ask me out any moment he could, and I would hurl an insult at him in response.

Life continued on, and in sixth year, I got my first real boyfriend. His name was Amos Diggory, and he was absolutely perfect. Unlike James and Sirius, who were now shooting through girls so quickly they had a new one every week, Amos was respectful, loving and sweet. He'd write me little love notes at the beginning of every week, saying how much he loved me and how amazing I was. I was sixteen, insecure, and flattered. Alice found a boy who would brave the wrath of the Prewett twins in Frank Longbottom, who, aside from his unfortunate last name, was quite a nice guy and obviously mad for Alice. Even Bridget found a boyfriend, Remus Lupin, the only one of the Marauders I could stand and my fellow Gryffindor prefect. When she told us, I remember being somewhat shocked, as I had always seen Bridget with Sirius if she were to date one of the Marauders. Posy was unperturbed by our coupling up, and continued dating in Marauder fashion, referred to by Alice as the 'do-and-ditch' method.

When Amos first asked me to be his girlfriend, I was ecstatic. Not only was he perfect, but I figured now that I was officially off the market, Potter, as I now called him, would lay off and stop asking me out. I was poorly mistaken. The following week after Amos and I officially became boyfriend and girlfriend, Potter stepped up his act. Every time I was in the same room as him, he'd ask me to go out with him. He would send me flowers, and he hexed Amos on several occasions. It was until I threatened to take away three hundred house points for his behavior that he finally cooled it down a bit. He didn't stop, but at least he didn't make it as public. He waited for the moments we were alone, like when I tutored him in Arithmancy.

"Evans, why do you fancy Diggory?"

"Evans, come on, go out with me."

And every time I just ignored him and continued talking about whatever I had been previously, or something to do with the value of Egyptian numerals. "So Egyptian numerals have twice the value than that of Moorish numerals, meaning they're of higher groupings." I'd say, as if he hadn't said a word.

Sixth year ended with me screaming at James for being such a prat – he'd hexed yet another first year, and Alice and Bridget dragging me off with the help of Remus and Amos. Life is full of grief and pain, and it seemed that James Potter would be the pain (in my arse) for at least another year, my seventh and final year at Hogwarts, which would turn out to be one of the best and worst years of my life.

"D'you think love exists?" Alice asked as she flipped through Witch Weekly with glazed eyes.

We were sitting in the compartment that we had claimed as 'ours' on the Hogwarts Express, heading towards Hogwarts for our final year. Alice and Posy were both in their school robes already and flipping through magazines, while Bridget and I, in our muggle clothes we'd worn to the station were playing 'Spit' with muggle cards. I have to admit I'd stayed in my muggle clothes so I could show them off to Amos before school. Despite my curves, which I hated almost as much as I hated James Potter, I was slim and average height, and my new blue jeans looked fabulous on my legs. I had begged Mum for half an hour to get them, but they were worth it. Paired with my wrinkled green spaghetti strap tank top I'd had since fourth year, a gauzy white see-through long-sleeved top, and Bridget's black leather platform boots (which I'd borrowed since Mum wouldn't let me buy some), Posy, Alice and Bridget agreed with me. I did look fab.

And since I was normally somewhat grunged up around Amos, I thought it would be a nice treat to see me looking nice. Plus, I wanted to surprise him with my big news – I was Head Girl. And since he was a prefect, chances were high that either he or Remus would be Head Boy.

"No." Posy said shortly, not bothering to look up from her magazine and blowing some hair from her face.

"Why not?" Alice replied defensively, looking at Posy, quite ready to argue.

"It's a stupid concept. Someone you want to spend the rest of your life with? That's at least another sixty years. Wouldn't you get sick of someone by then? And love's all about caring for someone so much you'd die for them and shite. Why bother with relationships when you can get the perks of one for nothing?" Posy replied evenly, still not bothering to look up.

Of course, Posy was referring to sex. It was a commonly known fact that Posy wasn't a virgin, but Alice, Bridget and I had preferred to remain silent on that particular topic. I was a virgin, and quite happy being one. Posy gushed about it so openly that I now knew to look for blisters, pus, and other indications of disease before 'letting him in' and several other facts I wish I hadn't heard. Amos and I were quiet content snogging thank-you very much.

Alice flushed slightly, as she did whenever Posy mentioned sex. She'd grown up in conservative pureblood house where that sort of thing wasn't mentioned and you were meant to wait until marriage. My mum, on the other hand, had decided to give me a talk of sorts just this summer.

It had been hot and hazy all week, and the house was stifling as fans reminded Mum of consumerism. I'd been up in my room, trying not to die of heatstroke and writing to Bridget, asking her to come round later, when Mum called me down. We sat on the beanbags in the sitting room, and she put her hand on my arm.

"Sweetheart," she'd said softly, "I'd like to have a chat about what's been going on with your body. Now everyone goes through a point where they become a woman and get urges... It's perfectly normal to experiment and have fun... But men can be chauvinistic pigs, and... Oh, picture your virginity as a flower, and a boy can be pesticide that will kill the flower... Sometimes it's best until the flower finds the plant it wants to spend the rest of its life with before it pollinates..." I'd never been more embarrassed in my life, and I think it was the one time I'd seen my mother uncomfortable since she started her whole hippie routine.

"I think love does exist. I mean, people do get married you know." Alice protested.

"But they also get divorced." Bridget pointed out. "Wait a minute... You think you're in love with Frank. Is that what this is all about?"

Posy looked up with interest and Alice squirmed in her seat. "Err... well he sent me a letter yesterday, and at the end, he wrote 'I love you.' And so you know..."

"Alice! That is fab!" Posy gushed, causing the rest of us to look on in confusion.

"I thought you said love didn't exist." I said slowly.

"Yeah, well it does when a lad says it first!" Posy said in some exasperation, as if it were common knowledge.

"Really?" Alice asked, looking hopeful.

"'Course!" Posy beamed. Alice looked really pleased, but Bridget and I held our blank looks. Posy sighed in frustration. "Jeez guys! Obviously, when a girl says it first, the lad gets all afraid of commitment and s'normally scared off. But when a lad says it first, that means he's actually serious."

I glanced down at my muggle watched and smiled inwardly. It was twenty to twelve, and I was glad to escape this talk of love. I was quite sure I wasn't in love with Amos, and Alice was surely about to admit her undying love for Frank, meaning I was expected to next.

Bridget looked at me questioningly as I stood.

"Head meeting." I explained, before leaving the compartment and walking to the compartment reserved for Head students at the front of the train. Back when we were first years, Alice and I had sat at the front of the train and glanced once or twice at the door with curiosity. It was always closed and protected with a password, and the only way I knew it was the Heads' Compartment was that is was written across the door in golden letters. I knew about the password because Professor Dumbledore had given me one in my letter this year. It was quite long for a password, and as I look back now I'm quite sure that Dumbledore left secret meaning in it.

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." I said clearly to the door, which in response slid open to admit me. As soon as I stepped in, the door slid closed behind me, and I decided then that all the hard work and studying I had put into being a prefect was well worth it now. The compartment was at least three times larger than a regular one, and outfitted with chairs similar to the plush ones in Gryffindor Tower and a table to work at. The room was draped in red and gold, meaning that, to my disappointment, Remus Lupin was Head Boy. They wouldn't have decorated in only Gryffindor colours if the Head Boy was from a different house, and Amos was from Hufflepuff.

Then I sat down in one of the chairs and waited. After about twenty minutes, I started to get a little anxious. I was wasting my time for Amos to see me in my outfit, get changed, and help the first years. The Head Boy and I were due to talk with the prefects in five minutes, and I didn't know who he was!

Hastily I drew up some rough plans for patrols, passwords, and other things for the Prefect meeting, before deciding to meet the prefects without him.

The Prefect Compartment was just across the corridor, and when I entered, it was already quite full. It was decorated in white and purple, two neutral colours, and had rows of five chairs running toward the back of the room. There was a small podium at the front for the Head students to stand at.

When Amos caught my eye, he winked appreciatively and I gave a quick smile back before calling the room to order. I assumed I was correct in my guess that Lupin was Head Boy, as he was absent from the meeting.

"Hello, everyone. My name is Lily Evans and I'm Head Girl this year." I said confidently with a warm smile. Some of the fifth-year prefects smiled back, all the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff prefects clapped, and the Slytherin prefects scowled.

I didn't mind though, I had expected it. Slytherin was the darkest house at Hogwarts, and many wizards of the anti-muggle variety were proud members of the house of the serpent. I didn't mind, they could think what they wanted and could go screw themselves.

"I've made a rough schedule for patrol time slots and I'd like you to fill in the times that are best for you before I make an finished schedule for the rest of the year. You can of course, swap – " I was interrupted by the compartment door sliding open forcefully, and banging loudly against its hinges.

There, in the doorway stood Remus Lupin, breathing heavily, and behind him, the taller figure of James Potter. From the corner of my eye I could see some of the sixth-year prefects fixing their hair as they too, realized who it was.

"Remus." I greeted as politely as possible, although there was a hint of irritation in my tone. "So glad you could make it."

"Sorry, Lily." Remus apologized immediately. "I fell asleep on the train, and James here isn't good with time. I assume you're Head Girl?"

I nodded. "Care to join the meeting?"

Remus grinned and took a seat in the front row, much to my confusion. What was he doing sitting there? Why was James Potter still standing in the doorway? A tiny suspicion was itching at the back of my mind. Was James Potter Head Boy? I mentally convinced myself that no, he couldn't be. James had easily broken half the school rules, was third in the most detentions ever, and was the farthest away from a rule-abiding role-model than anyone in the school, aside from Sirius Black of course.

My suspicion turned into a nightmare when James stepped into the compartment and I got a glance at his chest, where a silver 'Head Boy' badge was pinned proudly. The room was instantly filled with "Congratulations, James!" from all the girls, and nods from the boys.

James joined me at the front of the podium and allowed me to speak for the rest of the meeting, until I dismissed the prefects. Amos gave me a quick wave and mouthed 'see you later' before slipping out the door. And then I was alone, with James Potter.

"Sorry I was late, Lily. I really am horrible with time." James said automatically, almost looking sincere. That only heightened my suspicions though, and I scowled.

"How in bloody hell did you get Head Boy?" I demanded.

James shrugged. "I was just as surprised as you are. Looking nice today by the way, Evans."

I glared at him and began gathering my parchments, keen to head back and vent out to Posy, Alice and Bridget. "Find out when quidditch practices are scheduled so that prefects on teams can work patrols around them, will you?" I asked, though it wasn't a question, it was an order.

"Sure." James agreed. I quickly made my way toward the door. "Wait, Lily!"

I turned to face him and got a really good look at him. He was taller than I remembered, and he seemed to be holding himself differently as well. "Yes?" I asked impatiently.

"I really am going to take this Head Boy thing seriously, Lily. I promise. I'll do it for you." James was beginning to babble and it was clear he had no idea what he was saying.

"Why is that?" I asked snippily.

"Because I love you." He answered solemnly.

"You don't know the meaning of love!" I protested angrily. How dare he say such a thing to me?

"Yes, I do Lily, and I know that I love you, if you'd just give me a chance – " he pleaded.

My hardened face fell for a moment, and I looked at him in shock, before turning on my heel and heading back to my compartment. How could he have the nerve of saying something like that?

Dad had always told me that love was something special, and that you should only use that word when you knew it was true. Potter was obviously delusional and was tossing around the word around like it was nothing. But to me, it was. When I decided to say 'I love you' to a boy for the first time, I wanted to truly mean it, and I wanted him to truly mean it when he said it in return.

I was so busy thinking of ways to kill James Potter and make it look like an accident that I collided into Amos without even realizing; until papers were fluttering down around me and Amos and I were lying on the floor in shock.

"Sorry Lily!" He said automatically, jumping to his feet and collecting my papers. I stood up stiffly and gave a weak smile.

"It was my fault. I wasn't watching where I was going." I said, taking my papers from Amos. Amos smiled.

"Yeah. You seemed pretty upset when you found out who the Head Boy was."

"Can you believe it? I mean honestly, he wasn't even a prefect!"

"It's not unheard of that a Head Boy or Girl wasn't a prefect before hand. Just uncommon." Amos reasoned. "Did I mention how gorgeous you look today?"

I blushed and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks."

"No, really Lily, this summer I realized how much you mean to me." Amos said seriously. I didn't like the sound of this. "I realized how beautiful you are, inside and out, and I realized... that I love you."

I was stunned. Amos and I had been dating for about eight months now, yes, but I hadn't seen him for two of those months and I was sure that I didn't love him yet. I smiled awkwardly. "Thanks."

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