A/N : Thanx for all the great reviews on the previous chapter; libraflyer, Katie, Screeching Dragon, zanthinegirl, Freezyboncoolipants, iluvglorfindel, Artemis Moonshine, TVP, SweetBitter, Bunny, Rachel, Shania Maxwell, Kelley, azrielle-kitty, ChibiChibi, Melphis, Kim, ann, spikewife1, Moluvsnumber17, slayafreek, theoneandonlygurl, MaidenRo, rubi-elektra, Moonglow13, AraelMoonchild, fearlessbuffy, Spuffyfan4eva, clairamalfoy; this is for you lot. I worked through a particularly nasty headache to get this chapter done for today. I was so determined to get it done because it's been a week since I last updated this story! Hope you feel that it was worth the effort...
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 12
"Buffy?" Joyce was surprised to find her daughter on the doorstep, "I was just going to bed, is everything okay?" she asked as she let her into the house. The blonde barely made it over the threshold before she was crying again, going gladly into her mother's arms for a hug.
"Oh sweetheart, whatever's wrong?" Joyce asked worriedly, leading Buffy over to the couch and sitting them both down. After a few moments the younger woman was calm enough to answer.
"Mom, what I said before, about the baby not being Spike's..." she said, sniffing and wiping her face clear of tears with the back of her hand, "It turns out that it is" she admitted quietly. To her credit Joyce managed to control her reaction pretty well.
"Buffy, I thought you told me that vampires couldn't....well, have children" she said as delicately as she could. Buffy sniffed again before she answered.
"That's what I thought, it's what Giles and all the books always said" the Slayer nodded, "I don't understand how this happened, but it did and...Mom, do you hate me?"
"Oh Buffy" her mother looked like she might cry as she pulled her into a hug, "You may be the Slayer, and your own woman now, and sometimes you might do questionable things, but never ever doubt that I love you"
"I'm so scared Mom" Buffy cried on her shoulder, "I've faced all kinds of hell, and yeah, I get scared about it, but this is something else. My slaying skills can't help me now"
"Sweetie" Joyce smiled, urging her daughter to sit up again so she could see her face, "when I found out I was carrying you, I was already married to your father. I was settled into a nice house, we had enough money and we were so happy" she told her, making Buffy frown.
"But I don't have all that" she reminded her mother.
"That's my point" Joyce explained, "Despite all that, I was still scared. Pregnancy is a traumatic time for a woman. You're body is changing, your hormones are going crazy, plus you know that eventually you're going to have an extra person in your life, a person that's going to mean more to you than anything else in the world" she smiled as if remembering something fondly as she pushed her little girls hair out of her face.
"Mom, I think I have to go away" Buffy said softly almost afraid of the reaction it would cause. Joyce looked like she was going to explode, but spoke fairly calmly.
"Oh no Buffy, you can't run away from this" she pointed out, "You can't outrun what is happening to your own body"
"I know" the Slayer was quick to answer, "I get that, I do" she assured her worried-looking mother, "but I just don't think I can handle the whole baby thing and my friends at the same time" she said sadly, picking at a loose thread on the sleeve of her jacket.
"Do they know about the baby now?" Joyce asked, trying to see Buffy's face but failing as she kept her head down.
"They know I'm pregnant but they don't know it's Spike's baby" she admitted.
"And Spike?" her mother checked, "Does he know?"
Buffy nodded slowly, knowing already what Joyce's next question would be and answering it before it was asked.
"He seemed confused, like me" she said, "but...we kinda fought"
"Fought?" Joyce was worried what way she should take that. Were they talking a heated verbal spat or a full on vamp/slayer fist fight?
"We said stuff, mean stuff" Buffy said, somewhat guiltily, "Before it was normal, we always fought but now I feel bad about it and I hate him for making me feel this way!" she started out sounding sorry but ended up much louder and a little angry.
Joyce shook her head and tried not to smile. It was beginning to look as if Buffy and Spike were less enemies and more friends these days. Maybe given time and the birth of their child they would find a way to be even more than friends. Fond memories came to mind again as she remembered herself and Hank enjoying some good arguments when they first started out, always made even more fun by the making up that came later. She blushed in spite of herself.
"Baby, maybe you should talk to Spike" Joyce ventured carefully. She knew how tempestuous her daughter could be. Mix that with pregnant woman's hormones and a Slayer's temper, Joyce was being very careful what she said and how she said it.
"No, no, no, no" Buffy got up from the sofa and paced up and down, waving her arms emphatically as she repeated her negative response, "There will be no more talkage with Spike. About anything. Ever"
"But Buffy..." Joyce tried to appeal to her daughters good sense, assuming of course such a creature existed, "He has rights too you know"
"Mom, he's a vampire!" she whined like a kid complaining about having to sit near a boy because he had cooties!
"He's also the father of your child Buffy" Joyce pointed out sensibly, "I understand it's complicated because of your roles in life, but you two are going to have to figure this out"
Buffy shook her head in the negative as she dropped back down onto the seat beside her mother.
"I've already figured it out, Mom" she sighed, reaching over to put her hand on Joyce's, "I know you hate the idea but I really think I need to go away for a while, get some perspective and stuff"
There was silence as mother considered the idea and daughter held her breath, fearing some kind of lecture about responsibility and such.
"Maybe you're right" she heard her mother say, almost passing out from the shock, "Maybe a little time alone is what you need"
Buffy was about to speak when she was quickly interrupted by her mother pointing a finger and looking stern.
"But you have to promise me you'll be back, young lady, and you call me often" she ordered, her tone softening as tears came to her eyes, "I can't take not knowing where you are or what's happening to you all over again"
The Slayer herself felt as if she might cry to as she reached over to hug her mother once again. She was so glad to have a Mom that cared so much about her. Sometimes it felt like a chore, constantly having to tell her where she was going and what she was doing, but at times like this, it was comforting to know there was someone who was always on her side no matter what.
"I promise to let you know where I am and call every couple of days with updates, okay?" Buffy sniffed as she pulled away from her mother at last and felt two tears slide down her cheeks.
"Okay" Joyce nodded once, causing her own tears to fall, "and remember that no matter what, you'll always be my little girl"
"Thanks, Mommy" Buffy wiped her tears from her face, "God look at us" she forced a smile, "Crying like a pair of silly bints" she stopped short when she realised what she'd said and why. Total Spike-ism. Thankfully, either Joyce didn't notice, or more likely she just didn't mention it.
"Where are you going to go?" she was eager to know as she reached for the box of tissues, taking one herself and handing another to Buffy.
"Well..." the younger blonde considered, blowing her nose before she continued, "I can't face the questions from my Dad, and Angel would be worse, so that counts out a large part of LA" she shrugged.
"I have one idea" Joyce said as she got up from the sofa and crossed the room. She opened up a drawer and pulled something out before heading back to sit next to her daughter.
"You remember I mentioned Mr Rogers who comes to the gallery a lot? Well, I did him this great deal on some artwork he wanted for his wife's birthday. It was very important to him, something about when they first met and..." she tailed off when Buffy looked both bored and agitated, "Anyway, he was so thrilled that he gave me the keys to a little get-away place he has in Santa Monica..." she held up the keys to her daughter with an unsure smile on her face, "It's not too far away, but maybe far enough for you to get a little perspective. Mr Rogers said we were free to use it anytime, he hardly ever goes there"
The keys were still there, dangling between Joyce's fingers inches from Buffy's own.
"All I have to do is call him and tell him you'll be there for a while, if you want to go that is" she prompted her daughter, who eventually smiled.
"Call him" she nodded, taking the keys and hugging her mother tightly, "Thankyou so much for helping me out with this, Mom"
"I'm your mother, it's what I'm supposed to do" came the reply, "even if it doesn't always seem that way"
- - - - - - -
Spike had done a lot of thinking these past few hours, and he was still no further forward. He was slightly more drunk, a lot more tired, and a little bit more hungry, but he was definitely no further in figuring out what was going on between him and Buffy, or what he was going to do about it.
She meant something to him, he knew he had to admit that much. The problem came when trying to measure how much he liked her and also where that feeling came from.
The first moment he'd seen her he'd known she was attractive, a man would have to blind not to notice she was hot, but he'd still wanted to kill her. She Slayer, him vampire - very simple really, one kills the other. In the end death was imminent for one at least and he'd intended on it being her.
When they'd banded together against Angelus, that had been for Dru's sake, and not an excuse to get closer to the Slayer at all, at least that's what he'd told himself at the time. Drusilla had soon seen it differently when they reached Brazil. Was she seeing back then what was happening now? Or had this tiny feeling for Buffy been inside him all along? Had his inability to hunt and kill, coupled with their magic-induced engagement, made seething hate with a side order of lust turn into some kind of mixed up affection?
A noise in the upper level pulled Spike from his thoughts and he crept up the ladder, knife in hand to be on the safe side. Since he'd patrolled with the Slayer a couple of times the demon community had started to talk and he wasn't exactly Mr Popular at the moment.
Spike emerged from the hole into the top level and walked over to the door where the noise was coming from. It was clear that someone or something wanted in. With the knife raised high he yanked open the door only to be confronted by the last thing he expected to see - a terrified woman with her hand on her chest as she tried to calm down.
"Oh God, Spike. You scared me half to death" Joyce exclaimed and he hastily hid the knife behind his back like a naughty school boy. Mrs Summers was a decent enough woman and she'd been fairly nice to him actually. He didn't fancy getting caught with a blade aimed at her.
"Hello Joyce" he said uncertainly, "Do be specific and tell a fella, what's a lady like yourself doing in this kinda place, and at this time of night?" he frowned.
"Looking for you actually" she explained, swallowing hard as her shock subsided, "Buffy mentioned which cemetery you lived in and there are only four crypts that looked big enough to be habitable. It wasn't so hard to find you" she shrugged slightly as if it were no big deal, though they both knew it was.
"Bloody dangerous task" Spike pointed out incredulously, finding the thought of this woman being torn limb from limb a might disturbing, especially since she was Buffy's Mum.
"I learnt from the best" Joyce smiled slyly, pulling her own weapon from behind her back - a very pointy stake.
"Ah, yeah" Spike took a step back as the woman he saw as distinctly amateur when it came to slaying, waved aforementioned stake in his general direction "might wanna watch what you're doing with that y'know" he told her.
"Of course" she said putting her hand back down by her side, though Spike noticed she kept a tight grip on it at all times. In his book that made her more sensible than most women he knew.
They stood there for an uncomfortable moment before he spotted her looking over his shoulder into the crypt, as well as shivering slightly from the cold night air.
"Oh, come in" he moved away from the door, throwing the knife behind him as he did so.
"Thankyou" she said as she entered the room, pretending not to notice the metal skittering across the stone floor into the corner "Well, this is...I love what you've neglected to do with the place" she commented, unsure as to what the best thing to say about a vampire's lair was.
"Yeah, right, er, you wanna sit down?" Spike asked absently, removing his coat and fags from the armchair and dusting it off her. She thanked him as she sat down, facing the stone sarcophagus which Spike hopped up onto. There he sat cross-legged, waiting for her to explain why she had come visiting, but no explanation came.
"Er, Joyce?" he got her attention away from his lack of decor and back onto him, "Did Buffy ask you to come here?" he really couldn't see why she would have, since the Slayer really didn't trust him, but what other reason could the woman have for being there?
"Oh Lord no, she has no idea I'm here" Joyce shook her head "You should have heard what she said when I just suggested she talk to you about the baby"
"I can imagine" Spike snorted, having by now learnt all the Slayers favourite insults by heart, he'd heard them so often "Hold on" he suddenly frowned with realisation "She told you it was my kid?" he checked, taking a cigarette from the packet and placing it between his lips.
"She did" Joyce confirmed as she watched him take the lighter from his back pocket, fire up the cigarette and blow out the smoke, never once taking his eyes off her.
"And you came here planning to use that thing in your hand on me, did you?" he nodded towards the stake she still held, seriously wondering now if he was going to exist by the end of this conversation. Joyce wasn't exactly Slay-girl material but with his little handicap, it was almost scary when the Whelp had a piece of wood in his hand, and Joyce was tougher than that pansy!
"No" she assured him "I'm not going to use this unless I have to" she promised, before getting to the real reason why she was there "Look, Spike, teenage girls, they get pregnant sometimes, and it's not easy but they cope, if they have help from their family and friends" he listened carefully, thoughtfully blowing out smoke from his cigarette as she continued "I plan on helping my daughter get through this, and I'm going to love my grandchild so much, no matter what"
"Joyce, it isn't..." Spike shook his head, trying to work out what he meant to say "it changes things y'know, me being the father"
"I know that" she nodded, assuring him she wasn't stupid "but I also know that Buffy's world is different to other girls. Vampires and demons and magic, it's all a part of her everyday life" Spike nodded slightly that it was true, as Joyce continued, "Spike, I'm not saying I understand it all, but I have learnt to accept it"
That was what made her a pretty amazing woman, Spike realised, the fact that she could accept this weird world that her daughter was a key part of. It wasn't easy, it didn't make sense, but she'd try for a person she loved so much.
"Still doesn't explain why you're here" he shot back, that one question still bothering him. It was hardly normal for anyone to be wandering around graveyards at night, especially looking to get in a friendly tête-à-tête with the local muzzled vampire, but the last person he expected to be paying him social calls was the Slayer's mother!
"Buffy's scared" the vampire was pretty sure those words had never been put together by anyone else before "she'd never admit it to you or her friends, but she told me. Mostly I don't even think it's because she's having a child with a vampire, it's just that she's having a child. She feels very alone"
"She wouldn't be alone if she let me help her" Spike said somewhat angrily, throwing his now spent cigarette to the ground and stamping on it slightly more fiercely than was really necessary.
"Do you know how many times I've said that?" Joyce rolled her eyes and smiled before turning serious again "She's going away, just for a while" she spoke quickly so as not to be interrupted by the irritated vamp "She told me not to tell you til she was gone and I'm certainly not supposed to tell you exactly where she is but..." the rest of the sentence wasn't needed as she handed him a piece of paper from her bag and let him see from himself. On it was an address for an apartment in Santa Monica.
"Not that I don't appreciate this" Spike gestured with the paper "but why are you doing this Joyce?" he asked with interest. Joyce sighed.
"You're the one person she specified that she didn't want to see" she told him "and knowing my Buffy the way I do, I think you're the only person she probably should" she smiled in a somewhat devious manner and Spike almost laughed.
"Mother logic?" he guessed, sitting back down on the edge of the stone coffin behind him.
"Slayer's Mother logic" Joyce amended, trying equally as hard not to giggle. It barely occurred to her that she was having this conversation with a so-called evil and soulless demon. He was just Spike, and in so many ways the boy he would appear to be, to anyone who didn't know about the secrets of Sunnydale's night life.
"She gone already?" Spike's question broke her train of thought.
"No, she's at the house" she told him before dropping her voice down to a whisper, despite the empty room "Look the fact is, I have this plan..." she began to explain and Spike's smirk grew as he listened. 'Who knew that Buffy's cunning streak didn't come from the Slayer line?' he thought idly 'It just came from the Summers genes'
To Be Continued...
A/N2 : It's actually quite complicated trying to find the right balance between nasty and nice for Spike in this fic. It's Season 4 but his feelings for Buffy are coming on a lot faster than on the show where it didn't fully happen til Season 5. Anyway, tell me what you think by pressing that little button down there and sending a review my way please. More coming soon, and in the meantime you could always read the first chapter of my new all-human fic Who's That Guy? [subtle hint] ;-)