Operation: Genin Dance
Persepolis130
Notes: I don't know if they have DJ's or pop music or men's dress suits etc. in Konoha, but it's just a fic, so I figured it was alright. Shikamaru's sort of a perv, but in a good sort of way! If you want to know why he's acting this way, "Shikamaru, Genius?" is (sort of) the backstory. Enjoy!!
CHAPTER 2
Haruno Sakura had a sinking feeling that the night was not going to go well before the dance even began.
Of course she was having a bad hair day, and she had had to do her hair four times before she got it right. And then she put a run in her nylons with the fake nails she was wearing, which caused her to panic and trip as she was trying to remove the offending stockings. Then, as she fell, she broke off one of her nails, and it just didn't look the same since she'd glued it back on. Her long, silky, dark green dress really brought out her eyes, but it somehow made her forehead look even larger...
And did Sasuke even like green? What if he hated it?!
However, none of that was any real indicator of the downward turn the evening would take. In fact, Sakura was still quite looking forward to the night when she arrived at the door to the dance hall. Until ...
"Sakura, my angel! My gossamer-winged butterfly! Your beauty stills my heart yet breaks it in the same instant!"
The sound stopped her dead in her tracks. Her forehead started to throb, and it felt twice as large as her dress made it look. A trio of girls she didn't know laughed as they pushed past her to get into the hall.
She took a deep breath and turned to see Rock Lee, his bowl cut bobbing, approaching at a trot, wearing his usual green bodysuit and gold legwarmers. To a formal dance. Yes, it was going to be a long, long night.
"Um... Lee? What're you wearing?"
"My good-luck outfit, of course! How thoughtful of you to have noticed! And I must add that your dress is stunning! The beautiful forest green color could not be better!!" Lee winked and smiled, giving an enthusiastic thumbs-up.
An approaching genin in a charcoal gray suit pointed and snickered.
Looking down at her dress, Sakura realized that the color matched Lee's outfit exactly. Almost as if they'd planned it. It was like one of those nightmares where you're going about your day normally and then suddenly, you notice you're not wearing any clothes. Only worse. Because Lee isn't either.
"Ah... never mind," said Sakura, forcing a smile, while the newly-awakened Inner Sakura screamed and ripped her hair out by the roots. "I was just waiting for... for someone to get here. Before I went in."
"A tragedy that you should wait alone on such a wonderous night! If you must wait, then I shall wait with you, sweet Sakura!" Lee said, assuming what he hoped was a sufficiently heroic-looking position.
Outer Sakura sighed as Inner Sakura banged her head against the ground. Well, I suppose there's no point in waiting for Sasuke now, she decided. "Let's go in."
But look at the bright side, she told herself. At least this way I'm sure to notice when he begins his mission. I'll get an extra point for sure! And boy, do I need it! There's no way I'm going to be able to complete my mission, and that's five points I'm going to lose!
Following Lee as he began to do what appeared to be a victory dance (accompanied by sound effects), Sakura fumed about her mission.
It had to have been Kakashi who wrote it. No other jounin was THAT perverse. The shock was still fresh in her mind of the instant she'd unfolded the paper and read the neatly written words:
CONVINCE SOMEONE TO STREAK
Who the hell could she convince to STREAK!? The only one she could think of was Naruto, and she sure as hell didn't want to see THAT!! Oh, she wanted to wring her perverted sensei's neck! On second thought, she'd be better off reaching down and grabbing him forcefully by the--
"Sakura?" Lee's voice asked hesitantly.
Looking up at him, Sakura realized that he looked a bit frightened. Damn, she must have had that look on her face again. The one that hinted of impending ass-whipping.
Wiping the Look of Death off her face, she followed Lee into the hall, squealing with unrestrained glee at the pretty balloons and streamers. With all the bright decoration, you could hardly even tell it was really a ninja assembly room. Even the giant seal-making hands seemed festive!
"It's beautiful!!" declared Lee, tears pouring from his eyes. Sakura edged slowly away.
Just then, the first song started up. It was a slow, romantic one, and Lee's tears evaporated, his expression replaced with one of steadfast determination.
Sensing another declaration of love, an offer to dance, and/or a marriage proposal, Sakura acted. "Lee, would you...uh..."
"Yes, my love!"
"...get me some snacks!" Yeah, snacks! Perfect! Not that she could eat with her stomach doing flips waiting for Sasuke, but that wasn't the point.
Lee's momentary disappointment at his sudden inability to declare his love, offer to dance, and/or propose marriage was quickly replaced by a resolute set of the jaw and firmly clenched fist as he stalked across the hall to the food table.
Sakura sighed in relief, finally able to breathe.
"Sa...Sakura..." She suddenly heard from behind her. Turning, she saw Hinata.
"Oh, Hinata! It's good to see you! Your dress is so adorable!"
Hinata smiled, glad to have found someone she knew at the dance. "Your dress is very pretty, too. I-it really brings out your eyes."
Sakura beamed, smoothing out her dress a little for show. "Thank you! I was hoping--"
The cherry-blossom genin's reply was cut short when she suddenly heard an unpleasant sound coming from the door.
No, it wasn't Lee. Though it was almost as bad.
"...napping in the corner, or you'll regret it! Don't you roll your eyes at me, lazy-ass! I'm serious here!! This is-- SAKURA!!"
"Well, if it isn't Ino-pig!" Sakura said, regarding her mortal enemy, Yamanaka Ino, who had just stalked in the door with her teammates Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Choji.
The ponytailled Shikamaru looked grumpy as ever in his wrinkled black suit (without a tie, because it had evidently been too troublesome). Choji, his clip-on tie hanging slightly askew because his shirt was too tight to button to the top, was already making a beeline for the food table. But it was Ino's sky-blue dress that really caught Sakura's attention.
The dress was a gauzy, vaguely transparent, ultra-short number that showed off Ino's legs to their full extent. And it showed off something else as well, Sakura thought with a sinking feeling as she noticed the plunging neckline and major cleavage.
Sakura had spent almost twenty minutes arranging the tissues in her push-up bra, and she still felt like a little girl next to Ino.
"You're looking brainy as ever, Sakura!" Ino replied, pulling her well-styled bangs to one side of her cute-sized forehead. "Did you forget we're here for a dance, and not a test?" she laughed.
"Hah! At least I wore a dress and not a negligee. What're you, dressed for some sort of trashy slumber party??" Sakura countered.
"Well, I'm going to a little 'slumber party' after the dance, of course," Ino fluttered her mascara-black eyelashes coquettishly, "AT SASUKE'S!"
Hinata, feeling embarrassed and upset didn't know how to stop the girls' bickering, so she opted for standing quietly and staring intently at her toes. When would Naruto-kun get here?
"What a pain. I'm outta here," mumbled Shikamaru, who headed toward Choji at the food table.
XXXXX
When the shadow manipulator's slow saunter finally placed him in proximity of the edibles, he found his friend Choji involved in a conversation with Rock Lee, who was precariously balancing a plate filled with various munchies and an over-full glass of punch.
"...which girls might not like because it's a bit heavier. It's full of protein though, which is good for building muscle," Choji was saying.
Lee nodded with enthusiasm as he placed some of the aforementioned baked goods on the plate. "Thank you for your help! I have resolved that nothing substandard shall pass through the lips of my darling Sakura! I am sure she shall be pleased with this selection of delicacies!"
"No problem."
And with that, Lee made a quick bow and started across the hall, which was now starting to fill up a bit. There were even a few couples dancing. Iruka, standing beside a chuunin who had obviously been assigned to chaperone, looked pleased.
A few other people had wandered over for refreshments, so Shikamaru moved out of the way against the wall beside the food. Choji continued to fill his plate, occasionally munching as he did.
"Hi Shikamaru, Choji!" Tenten's voice called. Shikamaru saw her on the other side of the hall in a poofy pink dress. She appeared to be attempting to drag a reluctant Neji onto the dance floor.
Shikamaru stuffed his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall as Choji waved to Tenten. "She's pretty, isn't she?" the rotund genin asked, shoving a big slice of something seafood-looking into his mouth.
"Who, Tenten? You can't be serious."
"Y'oun'tin sh'ish?"
"No, I don't think she is. And don't talk with your mouth full. It's gross."
An audible swallow preceded Choji's next question. "You think Ino's pretty?"
"I think she's pretty loud," was his reply, as Ino's voice drifted across the hall. She was still arguing with Sakura.
"Yeah, but in that dress and all, doesn't she look really pretty?"
A scowl crossed Shikamaru's face as he grabbed a chunk of cheese off of Choji's plate. "Who cares," he said, though he could feel his face getting warmer at the thought of Ino in her barely-there sky-blue dress. Or out of her barely-there sky-blue dress. Yeah, definitely out of it. Pressing him back against the wall, with her arms around his waist and her lips sucking on his earlobe...
He shoved the cheese into his mouth, feeling incredibly annoyed with himself, Ino, and the world in general. Why did this keep happening to him? And in the name of all things holy, why HER??
Suddenly, the girl in question stormed across the hall in their direction. She jerked to a halt a few feet from Shikamaru and crossed her arms menacingly.
"You two had better be watching for the others' missions like I told you. I know you're not going to dance or anything, so you should do SOMETHING useful! And remember, no sleeping, and no leaving!! Sasuke-kun's going to be here soon, and I don't want to have to tell you this again. Got it?!"
The deeply scowling Shikamaru found that he had an unreasonable fondness for the way her crossed arms pressed her breasts together.
He must not have seemed disinterestedly annoyed to a sufficient extent because Ino was suddenly glaring at him. "What are you looking at?"
Shikamaru sighed. Girls were such a pain in the ass. "Your dress," he lied.
Ino's eyebrows raised slightly as she grabbed the glass of punch Choji was handing her. "What about it? I know it looks amazing."
"Yeah, it looks nice. Or whatever."
"Well, what--" Ino froze mid-sentence, a concerned look crossing her face. "Wait, you just complimented me."
"So." The brunet pouted.
"Uh... well..." Ino fumbled with her words, much to Shikamaru's bewilderment. Clearly attempting to cover, the blonde took a long drink of her punch before continuing.
When Ino set down her cup, her cheeks looked a bit flushed. "My kissing jutsus are really great, too," she proclaimed with her nose in the air.
Shikamaru looked at her strangely. Or maybe he gawked; he wasn't really sure which. In any case, his gaze followed her as she turned on her heel and stalked back across the dance floor toward the door. The bottom of her blue dress swished nicely against her thighs.
Shikamaru swallowed. Kissing jutsus...
"Hey, does this punch taste funny?" Choji asked suddenly, jerking his friend out of his reverie by pushing a glass of pink foam into his hands.
Detecting a definite alcohol aftertaste as he sipped, Shikamaru sighed. It was really going to be a long, troublesome night.