Persepolis130
Thanks for the sweet reviews!! I'm happy yet disturbed that I write Gai and Lee well. And yes, Shikamaru has discovered girls (aaaaww!), and he'll be uh... discovering one of them more thoroughly later on...
Notes: I don't think they have crack in Konoha. And maybe not circuses either. And minors drinking alcohol is wrong, Kiba, and I don't condone it (heh)! Tenten's dress is evidently hideous. Word.
CHAPTER 3
Inuzuka Kiba patted Akamaru, who was happily squished into his suit jacket, before running his hand through his hair once more. He'd met up with Shino on the way to the dance to go over mission surveillance strategy for the last time, and the two genin were now on their way to the hall.
Kiba had spent a long time in front of the bathroom mirror this evening, and he had come to one final conclusion: he looked hot.
His hair was perfectly disheveled, his tie was perfectly knotted, his suit was wrinkle-free, and (though he'd never admit it) he'd even put on a bit of lip gloss to make his lips look more... you know. How girls like them.
Oh, and Akamaru had gotten a bath. He smelled like Kiba's mom's orange shampoo.
So why had Kiba gone to all this trouble? Was it because of his mission? The reward for winning the contest? Because he particularly liked his mom scold him for wasting her expensive bath products? Not really.
It was because tonight, he was going to score.
Yeah, he wasn't quite sure yet who the lucky lady would be, but she was sure to fall for his... what was it... animal magnetism. Yeah.
Kiba nodded in agreement with his thought. Damn straight.
Suddenly realizing that their destination was just around the corner, he halted and beckoned Shino toward him. "Wait just a sec."
Rubbing Akamaru's nose with his thumb, he reached into his breast side pocket and pulled out a small flask. Unscrewing the top, he took a sip and handed it to the bug genin.
Shino might have had an odd look on his face, but it was really hard to tell. In any case, he took a sip of the liquid before handing it back to Kiba, who put it back into his pocket.
"It tastes bad," Shino said in his usual deep, slightly unnerving monotone.
"It's just to loosen up a little. Chicks dig it." Kiba explained matter-of-factly to his socially undereducated teammate.
"Anyway, you remember the strategy, right Shino? You get some food, sit back and watch. Hinata and I will come and check in every so often. Hopefully she's already completed her mission and spiked the punch. If your answer is yes about something, tell me the food is good. If it's no, say it's not."
Shino nodded in assent.
"Alright, Akamaru, Shino, let's go!" Kiba proclaimed, leading the way to the open doors of the ninja assembly room turned dance hall.
Akamaru barked excitedly in assent.
"..." was Shino's response. Which clearly meant that all was well.
XXXXX
Hyuga Neji was going to kill Gai-sensei. He wasn't yet sure how, but he was positive he would do it. Not only did Neji bear the humiliation of having the flamboyant man as a trainer, but now Gai had forced him to swallow every ounce of his pride to complete an utterly pointless, completely degrading mission.
Ordinarily, he would blame fate. For making the senseis get together and come up with this idiotic plan. Or for forcing his untrustworthy fingers to curl around that one particular piece of paper when drawing his mission.
But fate was not so cruel. Only Gai-sensei was.
SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION OF THIS TREMENDOUS OPPORTUNITY FOR YOUTHFUL ROMANCE BY THOROUGHLY ENJOYING YOURSELF! NO MATTER WHAT, MAKE SURE THAT EVERYONE KNOWS HOW AMAZINGLY HAPPY YOU ARE!
The fact that he had been forced to attend a DANCE was humiliating enough. Why the HELL did he have to pretend he LIKED it??
"Ooh, how exciting! Aren't you excited, Neji?" a perky voice said as his arm was nearly jerked out of the socket by the owner of that voice.
"Ah, of course, Tenten!" he responded pleasantly, a bit sick to his stomach already.
She grinned, her freshly-curled hair bouncing as she practically hopped across the dance hall.
"And it's our first dance! Can you believe we're fifteen, and neither of us has ever been to a dance before? Ninjas have to give up so much." Tenten's fluffy pink dress distracted Neji from responding. He thought she looked like a ballerina in a tutu. But not in a good way.
"Of course it's not really my VERY first dance at all," Tenten continued energetically, "I went to one when I was eight with my family. I think it was for a festival or something, I forget. But still, I don't think it really counts."
"Uh, yeah, you're probably right!" Neji tried his best to sound enthusiastic. It was painful.
"Ooh! Here's some people we know!" the excited girl exclaimed. "Hi Shikamaru, Choji!"
Neji sighed and put on a fake smile as Tenten dragged him sharply toward the dance floor, intermittently calling out a greeting to anyone she recognized. Neji stayed beside her, wondering if his teammate was on drugs, and faking a smile as well as he could. He was sure it made him look psychotic, but it seemed to please the lunatic with a death-grip on his arm.
A slow, vaguely romantic song had just started when Neji's teammate jerked to a halt on the dance floor and let go of his arm, causing him to knock into her. Attempting to stop himself from plowing the girl over, he grabbed her waist.
His eyes only separated from hers by mere inches, Neji noticed that Tenten's cheeks were the same repugnant pink color as her dress. Her lips, shiny with awful pink lipstick, parted. "Let's dance," they said softly.
"Aaaaah... excellent idea!" was the only acceptably cheerful response that came to mind. Fate had a horrible sense of humor.
Tenten beamed as she put her hands around Neji's neck and pulled him even closer to her, beginning to sway with the music. Neji could only smile nauseatedly and pretend to be thrilled.
Yes, Gai-sensei was going down.
XXXXX
Uchiha Sasuke was going to kill Gai-sensei. He didn't know how yet, but he would do it. It was bad enough that that idiot was actually stronger that Sasuke's own sensei, but having to suffer the humiliation of following his moronic, thoughtless, injudicious orders was almost beyond bearable.
Being ordered to go to the dance had been stressful enough. Dealing with the rabid fan-girls was going to be torture. Now he had to deal with this damn MISSION, too?
Sasuke almost groaned as he walked down the street toward his destination. He only hoped he could accomplish his mission without completely ruining his family's reputation. In other words, quietly, with as few witnesses as possible.
He was drawn out of his thoughts by a familiar "SASUKEEEE!! Wait up, you bastard!!"
Ah yes, he'd almost forgotten.
"What's the idea getting to the dance before me?!" Naruto charged toward him at full speed.
If it hadn't been beneath him, Sasuke would have screamed. But it obviously was, so he just stuck his hands in his pockets and kept walking.
"Hey, hey!! What's your mission, huh?"
Sasuke flashed his teammate a dirty look. "I told you it's none of your business. And besides, we're not supposed to tell anyone."
"Heh heh! You wanna hear MY mission? Huh?" Naruto bounced obnoxiously in front of Sasuke, turning backwards to look at his teammate but continuing to jitter like a crack addict.
"No."
"Jerk!! Well, I wasn't going to tell you anyway!"
The Uchiha sighed. Naruto was such a lost cause. "Just try not to give away your mission to everyone and make us lose, dobe."
Fully expecting the punch that followed his insult, Sasuke calmly stepped to one side. He kept walking as Naruto yelled insults from the heap on the ground where he had fallen after failing to connect his fist with Sasuke's face. It wasn't Sasuke's fault Naruto was the "dead-last" dobe. It was vaguely amusing to shove the fact in Naruto's face every so often, though.
His teammate still fuming on the ground, Sasuke stalked up the stairs to the hall where the dance was being held. Swearing one more time that Gai-sensei was going to regret ever having been born for coming up with this mission, the Uchiha stepped into the hall.
A dozen feminine squeals welcomed him at the same time as he felt the requisite arms around his neck. "Eeek, Sasuke-kuuuun! You look sooooo handsome!"
Yamanaka Ino hung from his neck as the bile rose in Sasuke's throat.
"INO!! Get your hands off Sasuke! He doesn't want you hanging on him like that!" A pink-haired blur rushed toward the besieged Sasuke.
"Oh yeah, forehead-girl?" Ino let go of Sasuke to confront Sakura, who stood with clenched fists.
"EVERYONE! I'M HERE!!" Naruto declared as he finally dashed through the door, and Sakura immediately began to scream at him for being so loud while simultaneously being bawled out by Ino for tearing the possessive blonde away from "her" Sasuke.
Promptly securing the nearest unoccupied table, Sasuke found himself wondering, Why is my life such a damn circus...?
XXXXX
Sakura screaming at him as usual, Naruto smiled. Tonight was going to be cool.
Not only had the blond genin managed to find an orange suit that was only a bit too big for him, but he'd found a tie with a picture of ramen on it! Looking down at the aforementioned tie, he snickered.
Oh, and his mission was cool, too.
Since Sakura wasn't done with her yelling yet and that bitchy friend of hers had stalked off somewhere, Naruto looked around the hall. It looked nice. The balloons were a good touch. He'd have to compliment Iruka-sensei on them later. He saw his former teacher across the hall and waved.
"Are you even listening to me, Naruto?!" Sakura screamed, looking as if steam was about to pour out of her ears.
"Sakura!" said a voice from behind her.
"WHAT?!" she screamed, spinning to face the owner of the offending voice.
Naruto smiled. "Your snacks, Sakura!" The green-clad, gold-legwarmered boy offered a plate heaped with food and a nearly spilling glass of punch to Naruto's teammate.
"I don't want them anymore," she declared with a wave of her hand, turning back to Naruto.
Lee's shoulders drooped, and his head fell so low that the tip of his bowl-cut hair dipped into the punch. He turned toward the nearby tables, muttering despondently.
"Hey, Sakura, your dress is the same color as Thickbrow's training outfit!" Naruto blurted. "It's like you match!"
An unholy look came over Sakura's face, and Naruto scratched his head. Now what could have upset her?
"You wanna dance?" Naruto offered. "OWW OWW OWW!! You don't have to hit! Ouch! Jeez, I was just asking!"
"Anyone who wanted to dance with YOU would have to have something wrong with their head!" was Sakura's succinct reply.
Happening to look down as Sakura was berating him, Naruto caught sight of his ramen tie and snickered again.
"...Na...Naruto-kun...?" the boy heard at his right side.
"Eh? Oh, Hinata! Hi!"
"Ah...It's so good to.. to see you here..." She started, cheeks pink and eyes on her shoes. What a weird girl. Oh well.
"Hey Hinata, your dress is adorable! You wanna dance?" he asked, happily straightening his tie.
Maybe Hinata wasn't feeling well. Her face was suddenly beat red, and her knuckles turned white as she tightly grasped her purse to her chest. Her head was turned so far down that he couldn't even see her eyes from beneath her hair. She looked like one of those birds that sticks its head in the sand. You know the ones.
"I--" she started. Wow, this was going to take a while.
"NARUTO!!" Sakura's voice screamed as the girl charged at him, "Don't you bother Hinata! She doesn't want to dance with you any more than I do!"
Hinata gasped. "But, but I--"
"Don't mind him, Hinata! He's being an idiot!" Sakura grabbed Hinata firmly by the shoulders and turned her away from Naruto. "Come with me. Lee got us some snacks and punch."
"But... but I..." Hinata looked on the verge of tears as Sakura led her away.
Being easily distracted, Naruto looked down at his tie again, giggling. Ramen!
"Hey, Naruto!" He heard shouting from the dance floor over the loud, fast song that was playing. It was that girl from Thickbrow's team. Whatshername. She was wearing a weird pink dress.
He was about to yell a greeting back despite her dress when he saw what she was doing. She was dancing... if you could call it that. It looked more like she was a wounded animal in its death throes. She was jerking back and forth, hopping around... without paying any attention to the rhythm at all. She looked vaguely like she was having a seizure.
Naruto blinked. She was terrible!! Even he was a better dancer than she was, and girls were supposed to be good at that sort of thing!
Pointing straight at the wildly gyrating girl, Naruto was about to announce his discovery to the world when he was suddenly cuffed on the back of the head. Losing his balance, he toppled to the floor.
A welt rose immediately from the injured spot as he sat on the floor rubbing the back of his neck. Who did that?!
Swinging his head around from side to side to locate the culprit, his ramen tie caught his attention once more, making him laugh.
Spotting a random girl walking nearby, he yelled to her from his spot on the floor, "Hey, you look pretty! Wanna dance?"
"Pfft," was her reply as she continued walking.
Naruto smiled, patting his tie lovingly. Life was good.