Operation: Genin Dance
Persepolis130
Notes: Sorry if Lee's declaration gives you the creeps; it even freaks me out a little. Saturday Night Fever does not exist in Konoha, and even if it did, Naruto could still not dance like John Travolta. Hinata is a total lightweight (after all, she weighs what, like 90lb?).
My main goal in writing this fic is to humorously torment every last character to the extent of my abilities. So if you're reading along, and you think, "Wow, she's really mean to character! She must hate character!" it's not true. It's just that I am inherently evil. )
CHAPTER 5
Sakura had thought the night couldn't get any worse. She looked like Lee's twin and was dancing next to a flailing Tenten, you know? But then Lee had come walking onto the dance floor.
Taking her hand in his, he had made some sort of bizarre declaration about truth and flowers and not hiding anymore and... whatever it was, it hadn't sounded good. In fact, it sounded like it would lead to extreme embarrassment and mental anguish on her part, as usual.
She had tried her best to throw him off, but he wasn't even swayed by an offer to dance. He had marched straight to the DJ and mounted the stage.
Feeling panic rise like a tidal wave in her chest, Sakura watched in horror as Lee pleaded with the DJ over something. Suddenly, the music shut off, and Lee stood with the microphone in his hand.
Oh no.
This can't be happing, she thought. Please don't let this be happening! Inner Sakura ran around in panicked circles, her head between her hands.
"Attention Everyone! I have an announcement to make!" Lee shouted into the microphone.
Grabbing Tenten's arm, the pink-haired genin yanked her close. "What the hell is he doing?!" she hissed into the other girl's ear.
Tenten shrugged, looking up at Lee. "I'd guess he's declaring his undying love for you. But that's just a guess."
Sakura groaned. Please, no! She didn't know if she could handle this after everything else!
After taking so many hours getting ready but still not looking quite right, being openly ridiculed for inadvertently wearing an outfit that matched the bowl-cut wonder's, and having the gorgeous Sasuke ignore her as usual... how could she live through Lee declaring his love for her in front of half the genin of Konoha??
As Lee opened his mouth, eyes burning, right fist clenching, and eyebrows scrunching together like some huge, furry black caterpillar, Sakura felt the room start to go dark.
His voice sounded surreal as it echoed off the walls, "I LOVE--"
Darkness engulfing her field of vision, Sakura felt her knees give as she fell back into a startled Tenten's arms. This was the end, she thought.
"--GAI-SENSEI!!"
What!? Sakura jolted upright. He was declaring his undying love for his SENSEI?!
"Gai-sensei is the most astonishingly amazing shinobi in Konoha!! I worship, adore, and could only dream of one day achieving his skill, his wisdom, and his sexual mystique! He is the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes upon!! I have now declared it, thus it is Truth!"
With a final firm nod, Lee dutifully handed the mic back to the blank-faced DJ and proceeded directly to the table from which he'd come, taking his seat next to Hinata.
Sakura's bottom jaw hit the ground.
"What a fruit," she heard someone say as the music came back on, a slow, romantic ballad.
"That guy's such a queer," someone else snickered.
Looking at Tenten with shock, Sakura sputtered, "But-but-he! He-- he was supposed to declare his love for ME!"
Tenten blinked, tugging cutely on one of her curls. "You wanted him to declare his love for you?"
"NO! Of course not! Don't be ridiculous!" Sakura exclaimed, blushing at the mere idea. "Why would I want THAT?!"
Tenten shrugged, guiding Sakura off the dance floor and toward their table. "I just think it might be flattering to hear someone say that sort of thing, even if they're not the one you're in love with. I mean, I know I'd be flattered. That's all."
After receiving a shy smile from Hinata and a grinning thumbs-up from Lee, Sakura popped a piece of something crunchy into her mouth from the plate Lee had brought her. The embarrassed flush was still spread prominently across her cheeks as she contemplated Tenten's words. Would it have been strangely flattering to have heard Lee declare his undying love for her in front of the whole hall? Even though it might have been the equivalent of social suicide?
"Well, you'll never know now!" An oddly perturbed Inner Sakura told her, arms crossed. She sighed, looking out across the dance floor at the happy couples slow dancing.
It was true. Now she'd never know how it felt.
However, if she happened to have been able to see through walls and had looked up at that very moment, she would have had a pretty good idea. For high above the genin, peeking down through a narrow slit in the wall, were Asuma, Kurenai, and an unreservedly weeping Gai.
XXXXX
Kurenai blinked. Asuma gaped. A gleeful Gai blubbered loudly, his eyes big and glittery, his hands balled against his mouth like a shyly blushing bride.
"Uh..." started Kurenai, biting one of her nails, "that was... unexpected..."
Asuma scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, that was... really something..."
Gai continued the fanatically overjoyed waterworks but managed to squeeze out between tears, "sniff... Lee... perfect... sniff... mission...!"
Cigarette dangling from his lips, Asuma muttered, "mission...?"
"Don't ask," murmured Kurenai, her head starting to ache.
Shrugging, Asuma decided to ignore Gai for the moment and take a better look at his students. The three sensei had arrived just in time to hear Rock Lee's bold declaration, and Asuma hadn't yet checked up on his kids. Bending down slightly, Asuma peered out through the small crack to the room below.
Ino in her micro-sized sky blue dress caught his eye first, and he took note of the fact that she was sitting at a table next to Uchiha Sasuke as the boy stared coldly out upon the dancers. Asuma sighed, shaking his head. That's one egg you're never going to crack, Ino.
A few tables down, closer to the food, were Shikamaru and Choji. Shikamaru had his head down on the table, looking put-out as usual. Choji was stuffing pretzels in his mouth with his right hand while attempting to demonstrate something with his left. It looked like he was gripping an imaginary apple next to his chest.
Asuma squinted at the boy, not sure what he was trying to do, when his student's continual shoveling of food into his mouth halted for a split second and his right hand joined the left in his demonstration, mirroring its movements. Asuma chuckled as Shikamaru rolled his eyes at an obvious portrayal of bouncing female breasts. Yup, those were his kids, alright!
"Do you see my kids?" Kurenai's voice was in his ear as she leaned down next to Asuma to peer out the small crack with him.
"Hmm... Shino's there on the left hand side sitting at one of the tables. It looks like he's watching the floor... can you tell?" Asuma asked, eyeing the bug-boy.
"Wow, he's pretty keyed up!" Kurenai stated. "I wonder what's got him going already?"
Staring harder at a stoic-looking Shino, Asuma shook his head. Shino's covered eyes and mouth made it almost impossible to tell what he was thinking. How in the name of the Fourth could Kurenai tell he was conscious, much less excited?
"OH, KIBA!!" Kurenai gave a pained look and slid down the wall, landing on her knees, head in her hands. "You've been here for less than an hour! How could you manage THAT?!"
"What's wrong?" Gai asked, evidently recovered from his crying jag, though obviously still basking in the warmth of hero worship. He put his eye to the opening next to Asuma.
Kiba, a punch glass in his hand, had his arm around a perky-looking brunette who was patting Akamaru. Kiba's dog was stuffed in his jacket, wriggling vigorously. Now, all of this would have been fine except for the fact that Kiba looked like he might just have fallen over if the girl walked away. He had a silly grin plastered on his face, and his eyes had that glazed look that only sleep deprivation, hypnosis, or alcohol could bring.
"Uh...well, he certainly is a spirited one, now isn't he?" Gai supplied.
"If you mean 'spirited' as in 'having imbibed heavily in spirits,' I'll agree," Kurenai groaned from the floor. What was the boy thinking?!
"Hmm...I see Tenten, but where is Neji?" Gai asked, Kiba already forgotten. "I was sure I had seen him when Lee began his most exemplary declaration."
"I'm not sure..." Asuma said, searching for the boy. "Oh, but there's Hinata."
"Yes," agreed Gai as he spotted the girl. "She appears to be speaking with Naruto."
"What?!" Kurenai unceremoniously batted the two men out of the way and put her eye to the hole.
Peering down, Kurenai found Hinata standing in front of Naruto. She was facing away from Kurenai, so the sensei wasn't sure, but judging by the fact that Naruto was giving a squinty, pensive look, it did seem that they were having a conversation of some sort.
Suddenly, Hinata's hands flew to her mouth. Kurenai squinted, hearing Naruto laugh even over the loud music. Hands now behind his head, the boy smiled broadly at Kurenai's timid student... and then abruptly turned to a nearby blonde, leaving Hinata standing alone, a blank look on her face.
"Oh, Hinata..." Kurenai whispered. "Don't give up!"
XXXXX
Hinata felt like an absolutely horrible person as she drained her second glass of spiked punch.
"That's it! Chug!!" a raucous voice said into her ear.
Her stomach felt funny, and her head was reeling slightly, but she had to do it.
She hadn't been planning on drinking any, of course. It was wrong to drink. Drinking was for hussies, not good girls like her. Girls who drank alcohol ruined their promising future, got themselves pregnant, and disgraced their whole, entire family.
So why was Hinata drinking this evening, a grinning Kiba hanging over her?
Looking over the rim of her cup, she saw a beaming blond on the dance floor doing a perfectly awful, but totally cute, version of the Saturday Night Fever dance. Oh, how she wanted to be out there dancing with him! Naruto-kun...
She had almost cried when Sakura had dragged her away from his offer to dance, fearing she had lost her chance. Though Hinata had managed to work up the courage to talk to him right after Lee's declaration, she hadn't managed to bring up the subject of dancing before he left her in favor of another girl.
Discouraged, she had gone to see Shino when Kiba had wobbled over, talking loudly about hot girls and telling Hinata she had a nice butt.
Feeling rather scandalized, Hinata had blushed deeply and suggested that Kiba not drink any more punch. What if Iruka-sensei found out and got Kiba in trouble?
Giving the girl a full-body hug that almost made her pass out, Kiba told her she wouldn't be so nervous if she drank something. After all, he'd been blatantly hitting on chicks all night, and he wasn't the least bit apprehensive about it.
She wasn't sure whether he was right. After all, hitting on random girls wasn't really beyond the boy's scope of normal activities. And he was much more brave than she was. But Kiba obviously wasn't afraid that alcohol would ruin his future as a ninja and kill his brain cells.
And anyway... well, a dance with Naruto might just be worth the dire consequences.
"See, everything's much more fun with alcohol! That's why all the adults drink it!" Kiba was telling her.
The room was blurring a bit, and when she turned her head to look at her teammate, she giggled at how his face seemed to keep moving even when her head stopped.
Akamaru barked, and Kiba turned away from her, swaying against Hinata in the process as he regarded a girl walking past. "Wow, she IS hot, Akamaru!"
As Hinata reached dazedly out to pet the dog, he barked again, causing Kiba to howl with laughter. "Yeah, I'd really like to sniff her butt, too! Let's go!!"
Hinata smiled as Kiba half-walked, half-staggered away from her. Having consumed alcohol, she might just end up living homeless on a street corner begging for change to support her twelve children, but she would dance with Naruto-kun first!
Seeing him across the hall, Hinata set down her cup, took a deep breath, and began toward him, taking long, purposeful, not entirely steady strides. Now or never, she told herself. Now or never!
It was almost an out-of-body experience when Hinata stopped in front of her dream boy. He looked at her and smiled, and she smiled back without making an actual conscious decision to move her lips.
She stared for a few moments before she remembered what she had to do, Naruto giving her an odd look.
"You were talking... about dancing," she said, feeling a slight tremor in her chest but too giddy to pay attention to it. For the first time ever, she stared straight into his eyes, which were so blue she felt lost in them.
"Ha, yeah! I'm asking everybody! You want to?" He asked, giving his tie a tug.
Hinata blinked, feeling incredibly distracted. "You have ramen on your tie..." she dazedly observed.
"Isn't it the BEST?!" He practically shouted, chuckling and tugging on the accessory with obvious, unrestrained glee. "It's my favorite tie ever! The most perfect tie ever made!!"
Hinata felt herself nodding, her hand reaching out to touch the tie, which was oddly entrancing. All those noodles... in only three minutes...
"Uh, Hinata?" She heard Naruto ask. She looked up at him, feeling vaguely like she might tip over.
"Um... about the dancing..." he pulled the end of his tie up and put it to his lips in thought.
Hinata felt her mouth slowly creep open as she stared at the tie. She had just touched it. And now he was touching it to his mouth. Oh, she was going to pass out!
"Well, the thing is... I don't actually know how to dance..."
Hinata giggled tipsily. "Then... why are you asking everyone?"
Naruto shrugged, grinning wildly.
"Well... I could..." Hinata instinctively looked down at her feet, which looked very far away, before continuing, "...teach you."
"Hey, really?! Wow, you're great, Hinata!"
Hinata grinned one of the biggest smiles of her life. This was like a dream!
Especially the part where everything was hazy, the room was spinning, and she didn't feel like she was connected to her body anymore.
XXXXX
Ino, as any reasonable girl would, had been stalking Sasuke all night.
Of course, that didn't take much effort, given that the boy hadn't moved since he arrived. He'd plopped himself down at a table, completely solitary, and had been sending out glares laden with killing intent to anyone who approached.
Of course, Ino knew what was truly behind those glares. Yes, deep down, Uchiha Sasuke wanted to be approached. He wanted to be brought drinks and thoughtful conversation by a beautiful young woman. He wanted someone to break through his tough veneer to find the warm, loving, snuggly boy underneath.
In other words, he wanted Ino.
So Ino had come to him, punch in hand, at a slow, sexy saunter. Even though he only grunted when she said hi again and placed the punch down in front of him, she knew he appreciated it more than he could ever express.
Sitting in what she deemed a very sultry position beside Sasuke, Ino pulled back her shoulders and sucked in her stomach, forcing her bust forward, the top of her creamy white push-up bra peeking out from under her elegantly risqué dress. Crossing her legs so that the slit in her dress fell open almost to her hip, Ino ran her hand up her exposed thigh suggestively. And then, she waited for Sasuke to compliment her.
And she waited.
And waited.
And waited some more.
Ino sighed. This was a tough job, getting Sasuke to admit his true feelings for her.
Suddenly, a light bulb came on in her head. Oh, I get it! I look so incredible that he's too shy to say anything! How sweet! But my mission will solve that-- it's perfect!!
Beaming, Ino leaned across the table to rouse her cutely timid dreamboat--
--when Kiba's obnoxiously loud voice assaulted her, mere feet away. Ino scowled. That idiot was even louder than usual. What was his problem anyway?
"Hey, Ino, lookin' hot tonight, babe!"
Oh man, he complimented her! How embarrassing! "Dream on, Kiba. My kissing jutsus are way too much for you!"
"Whoa. What?!" Kiba blinked, his head lopsided and shoulders tilted, Akamaru scrambling to stay inside his jacket.
Ino stared. "Are you drunk or something?" she asked warily.
"Heh. Why don't you come with me behind the academy and find out, gorgeous??"
Ino leaned away, smelling the alcohol on Kiba's breath. Gross. "My kissing jutsus would be wasted on trash like you. How disgusting!"
"Well, howsabout you sample some of MY kissing jutsus, huh?" Kiba leered, running his hand through his hair drunkenly in what he seemed to think a debonair manner.
Glancing at an unresponsive Sasuke and horribly annoyed that Kiba was interrupting her from convincing the Uchiha to declare his love, Ino replied decisively, "There's no such thing as a kissing jutsu. And if there were, you would be the last one on earth to learn it!"
Kiba rocked back on his feet, stumbling a little as he did so. "There's no such thing?"
Ino fumed, "Have you ever heard of them?! What the hell would they be, anyway-- what does KISSING have to do with NINJA ARTS?!
"So you don't know them, then."
Ino growled, exasperated. "Oh, just get out of here, you inebriated canine FREAK!"
She let lose a relieved sigh as Kiba left, muttering about fake kissing jutsus. What a moron.
Ino turned back to Sasuke. "I'm terribly sorry about all of that, Sasuke honey. Now where were we...? Oh yes!"
Leaning toward the boy so that her top fell open just right, she whispered loudly in his ear, "You wanna see my kissing jutsus??"