Blood Moon

Sydney Alexis

XVIII

We arrived at the port to find no welcoming committee nor fanfare. In fact, the only people on the docks were the fisherman and workers who eyed our ships wearily.

I gazed out on the land and the impending tree-line. It looked nothing like a recalled. The land was barren. The people were stony faced, and, even from a great distance, it was entirely possible to see the great temple Solomon was constructing. Conquering land, expounding taxes, and building that temple had been his only interests as of late.

A thousand different emotions coursed through my veins, but there was one solid message--this place was no longer my homeland. I had none.

We had docked at the largest northeastern port Solomon's land held; it was the only one equipped to handle a fleet of this size. As a result, my caravan would have to travel by land six and half days to reach the capital--a route that would take us within a stone's throw of Atreus. Somewhere between the Straights and here, I had mentioned this fact to Kathryn.

With hoots and hollers, Solomon's men began jumping onto the dock, tying off the riggings of each ship, lowering platforms to allow the cargo to unloaded and carried into awaiting wagons. Tuvok ordered my men to do the same as I stood on the deck, looking down at the land I'd left and never intended on returning to.

Kathryn's hand wove through mine where it rested on the railing, offering wordless support. She turned soft eyes on mine feeling the trembling I was unable to stop. I offered a weak smile in thanks.

"Doesn't look the way you recall it?" Harry asked, stepping up beside us.

"No," I replied, quietly.

"You sound as though you're less than enthused to be here." Not a question. Not a critique.

"Just amazed the journey's nearly through," I responded cryptically.

"This voyage perhaps, but I'm sure Solomon won't allow you much time to recoup in the capital city."

"He'll probably call us in the moment we arrive; he never was one for patience."

"Aye. Patience--or lack thereof-- and ego were always his weaknesses."

"Lord Crycus, do you mean for us to put in for the night or begin our path?" Drago called from the dock.

I looked up at the sky to note the sun's position then returned my gaze to my lieutenant.

"We'll burn the last of the day just unloading. Might as well put up here in town for the night and start out tomorrow at first light."

"You sure, milord? We could get a good five to ten miles in before twilight," Harry questioned, seemingly shocked that I would suggest putting off the last leg of the trip. I raised an eyebrow at him not believing that he was openly questioning my command. Then again, this had always been a fault of Harry's--questioning everything. On more than one occasion, his inquisitiveness had led me to rethink long held notions or rethink battle plans. Perhaps lending him my dialogue scrolls had been a wise foresight on my part.

"Given the choice between the forest and a warm bed, I'll choose to lose a day."

Harry smirked. "Don't tell me all these years in your palace made you soft," he goaded.

I laughed humorlessly. "Quiet the opposite. I'm afraid many months with nothing but painfully thin walls between myself and my men have left me desiring some time to my own thoughts."

It was the truth. If he chose to read it as a double entendre, well, that was his choice. Judging by his tongue in cheek expression, it was taken as just that.

"Aye. As you wish," he replied, leaving Kathryn and I without further preamble.

The ship was nearly emptied before I ventured off the boat, and, the moment that I stepped foot on the dock, I felt shaky. Be it from equilibrium not use to steady land or just the raw emotion that assaulted me, I was unsure. My stomach flipped and I fought hard against the bile rising in the back of my throat. This was HIS land. It had been Thomas' at one time. Gods above so much of my naïvaté had been ripped from me on this soil. So much blood and pain and torment.

I felt a stinging in my eyes--the telltale signs of tears forming--as I walked straight though the city-state, mindless of the stares I was receiving. I kept going until I hit the very edge were buildings and homes melded into forest. Fall was waning. The last leaves were clinging mercilessly to tree limbs, and the scent of the first winter storm was heavy in the air.

Solomon would have his war in the blanket of winter when there was no cover for his men and lack of heat would lead to frostbitten bodies. What use was it to consider snow and the suffering of troops when the great leader no longer was expected to ride out with his men?

Solomon's death would only expedite the war. Chieftains from every remaining tribe would use the time Solomon's own knights spent vying for control to slowly slip in and plunder the outlying reaches of land-- chieftains who were still furious over Solomon's actions in building his great temple.

I knew all of this. I laid it out for Kathryn during a rare moment of solitude while at a port of call. She nodded in all the right places and then asked why I felt compelled to tell her. In truth, it was easier to talk things through with her. She proved to have an amazing ability to see faults in ideas just as Harry did. She never held back in a 'dialogue' even if it meant that we'd end having to take out anger out to the practice fields. That conversation had been one of those rather heated ones…

'If you wish to evacuate your family, I suggest you take them with you the night that I kill Solomon. Flee to the East or South, but do not stay in his territory.'

'And what of you?'

I shrugged. 'If our paths are meant to cross again, they will.'

'Bullshit. You're just afraid.'

'No. My task will have been completed.'

'So you're just going to wait to be arrested and executed?'

I met her stare evenly, revealing nothing as I turned on my heel and left her in the secluded spot we'd discovered earlier that morning.

We'd been at Ranvier when we'd had that conversation. The wind had begun to take a slight chill, but the hot summer sun had balanced it out. Here, in Solomon's domain, it was a biting cold that I could feel in my very bones.

"Da!" Miral shouted from her spot atop B'El's hip. The little girl began squirming to be let down. I managed to dismount before she'd run the short distance down the dock and launched herself into my arms.

"Missed Da!"

I cleared my throat, trying to keep the tears at bay; it'd been seven months since I'd last seen my family. Campaigns for land expansion lasted longer than anticipated and word was difficult to get through the lines.

I straightened to full height, weight shifting heavily to the make-shift cane. I'd been injured on the field--an arrow had pierced my left leg, and the cold of home did little to help its healing. B'Elanna, of course, noticed my slightly pained expression as our little girl tightly hugged my bad leg. B'Elanna's eyes caught mine and, just for a second, I saw the concern there before she squashed it down. I knew that she worried about my safety, and she knew that I hated to see her fussing over my like a mother rather than a wife.

Without a word, she scooped up Miral and looped her arm around my waist to offer support without being obvious. Little things like this made me love her even more.

"I'm glad you're home," she smiled brightly. "I have quite a list of things for you to mend."

We walked to our carriage and returned home. The entire time she never mentioned the campaigns. Instead, she caught me up on the daily lives of the members of our family and friends. Normalcy is what I needed...craved after what I'd been through.

We marched in a line, silently, resolutely. I was sure that my sudden bouts of insomnia were causing hallucinations; everywhere we rode I could see my family. I idly wondered if the Furies had chosen to make me mad in my final campaign.

The 'visions'...specters grew in intensity until the third night where, by design or pure coincidence, we made camp less than a candlemark from Atreus.

I sat beside the fire, looking into the distance at the hill that made the ancient boundary of Atreus. No, I silently corrected, it was where Atreus had once been.

The guard towers had long ago crumbled and not a single cooking smell rose into the night air. My eyes followed the pile of stones that had once been these towers to a shadowy tree and beyond. Just outside of view, on the other side of the crest, was a narrow path that lead to the fishing hole I'd taught my daughter to swim in. The place I'd taken B'El to propose. The spot we'd say our private goodbyes before I would return to duty.

I think she brought me there not only to make it a private matter but also because she knew without words how much it tore me apart to leave her behind. To make her wait for months or years for my return all the while she would continue on with her life wondering if I was still alive, raising our child on her own. I'd feel selfish for trapping her into this life. How different would her life have been if I'd served my required time in the service and returned to being a farmer? Would she still be alive?

I rose from my perch and wove through the activity of setting up camp. Constance caught my arm and stopped me.

"My lord? Surely you don't plan on strolling about at night?"

I smiled weakly at her.

"I know this area well. I won't become lost."

She nodded. "I'd feel better if you took some men with you."

I scoffed at the idea. I was perfectly capable at taking care of myself. "I don't need a babysitter, love."

She opened her mouth to speak, but I stopped her.

"If I'm not back by sun-up, you can send the scouts. Until then, let me have some time to myself."

She nodded in understanding, and I walked away feeling slightly guilty. On some level, Constance cared for me, but she also had her own life to consider. Were I to die, she would be seen as the concubine of a knight. Not being the favored or first married would leave her few ways of supporting herself none of which would be pleasant.

Taking a deep breath, I left camp and walked straight until I crested the southeastern hill and looked down into the ruined valley; Atreus was a ghost town.

The buildings were dilapidated. Wooden structures were falling in on themselves while others were gutted by fire. Fields once reserved for farming were overgrown with weeds and tall grass.

I continued walking straight, following the overgrown path that lead to the center of town and the centralized oven we'd used to prepare meats for barter and pay. The place I'd discovered my neighbors burning over heated coals. Even now some ash remained. Not permitting myself from thinking about it, I followed the path to the right--straight to B'El and I's home. The house and barn were gone-- stones serving as the only marker of where they had once stood. I had to wonder if this was Harry's handiwork.

The ground surrounds were lush, deep, and green save one, large rectangular patch where the Earth was devoid of all life. It was here that I sank to my knees. Here that I felt the grief of my return and their death. Here that the visions and sadness of time lost and poorly spent rolled through my body. For the first time in an era, I felt their presence. Warm and welcoming, loving and, oddly enough, alive. The tears that had threatened me all week finally spilled over, but I was beyond caring.

It was damn near frigid the night I arrived back in Atreus. My horse was half dead from frostbite, and I suspect that I was well on my way there when I crested the top of the hill. The falling snow was driving down relentlessly, clinging into folds of my cloak. The flakes had ceased melting hours ago--a sure sign that my body was dangerously below temperature.

Harry had tried to convince me to stay in Humberside with him. The pink sunset, the rapidly dropping temperature, and the sight of animals all heading for cover were sure signs of an impending storm, but, after several months away from home, I was determined. So, with my soldiers unloaded the booty we'd taken on our latest campaign, I gathered my horse and a few days' worth of provisions and took off for Atreus with barely a word.

A week's travel time grew to ten days as Sheba and I fought our way through the cold, densely packed snow, but we continued. I think my horse realized how desperate I was to return home.

Instinctively knowing that this valley was my home, Sheba's pace increased tenfold as I pointed her toward home. The streets were desolate as she clopped past homes brightly lit with fire.

I couldn't help but notice that the snow was purely white rather than dotted with the pink tinge of blood which had proven to be a common sight in our mê lée in the frozen north.

I ushered my horse into the barn, grateful that B'El had had the presence of mind to fuel the small pot belly stove to keep the animals alive. I removed Sheba's saddle and bridle, and placed her heavy blanket on her back to protect her from the cold. She snorted in thanks before I turned and left for my home.

My boots sank deeply into the snow covered ground as I trudged toward the front door. The added weight of my battle armor made my trek even more difficult.

Finally, I arrived at the awning above our door, shaking the hood of my cloak to free the excess flakes before opening the door.

And what a sight greated me! B'Elanna was curled up in the old rocking chair holding a small infant against her, singing in a low whisper. The moment I stepped through the door, her head shot up, mouth drawing into a broad smile.

"You're home," she said, softly.

Her eyes followed me as I unclasped my cloak, removing it and my boots.

"And you're full of surprises," I replied, sinking down to my knees to favor her and my child with a kiss.

"She was born while you were in Fjörðr. There was no way for me send word."

B'Elanna must have seen my face darken at the mention of my 'trip' because her hand reached up to cup my face. I bit my tongue. She and I had an unspoken agreement that I would never speak of the wars I'd seen; she couldn't bare to think of me killing.

"I've missed you."

Said so quietly. Said more often than it should be. I'd missed the birth of my child...my first born at that. My eyes darted between her and the small child in her arms. My heart was beating wildly in my chest. I was a father. I'd been away eleven months and, before I'd been called back, B'El and I had had only two weeks together. Sometime during that homecoming, she had conceived, and Solomon's wrath had seen to it that I missed her pregnancy and the birth of my child.

"Would you like to hold her?"

I nodded not trusting my voice. The moment B'El set our daughter in my arms I fell instantly in love. Holding her made all the pain seem to lessen.

"I named her Miral."

I nodded absently, stroking my well calloused thumb against the incredibly smooth skin on our child's cheek. Awe. That was the only way I could describe what I was feeling.

"She's beautiful."

It slipped from my lips without thought as did the tears. Funny that I could watch friends fall in battle and never mourn their death with tears but this small being could invoke such a powerful reaction. Maybe I wasn't as dead as I felt I'd become in those killing fields.

B'Elanna smiled sadly at me, resting her hand on the crown of Miral's head.

"Why don't you change out of those wet clothes, let me fix you something to eat?"

It was a suggestion spoken with hesitancy. It was then that I realized I was in snow sodden clothes and blood stained armor. No matter how much she missed me, B'El would always shy away from touching me when I was dressed as a warrior.

Reluctantly, I handed our child back to her and walked to our bedroom to hide away the too painful reminders of my calling.

I was with B'El less than a month when I was forced to don my uniform again.

The moon was riding high before I returned to camp l felling more resolute than I had hours before.

I slipped into my tent and fell into a dreamless sleep. My charade was nearly finished. I would need the energy to see it through to completion whatever the outcome.

A/N: I'd like to thank all of you who have taken the time to feedback this story. I appreciate it. :)

As to the question of updating, I tend to update at my website and JuPiter Station more than here. I generally log in to update en mass. However, since I tend to get more FB from readers, I plan to keep up updating here on a regular basis.

As to the question of number of chapters I plan on having-- I'm not sure. The outline that I penciled out reads for a total of 30 or so chapters. However, I have a tendency to deviate from plans if the muse strikes me.