Doctor's Log
September 28, 2004
Firewall was released from the infirmary today and returned to duty. At least the hacking lessons are over. There was something strange today. When I passed Leatherneck in the hallway, he didn't make the usual jibe about my pacifism. I was kind of surprised by that. He did tell me that I missed my calling as a torchuror or an interrogator though. Several of the Joes have developed an odd respect for me after the two duct taping incidents. Flint even told me "Way to go."
Hawk tried to pretend he didn't like what I did, but he didn't try too hard. He seems to get a perverse pleasure out of Beach Head, Gung Ho, and Dusty being duct taped and forced to endure horrible movies and music. I just hope he never ends up in the infirmary. It's not like I can force the Tomahawk to endure any of that.
By the way, Hawk cleared Beach Head and Gung Ho for two weeks leave, starting this Saturday. After that, they'll be put on duty part time in advisory roles. They can't do too much yet. After the bones heal, they'll still have to come back for therapy. I'm far from being home free yet.
I did hear a funny story today, Scarlett and Lady Jaye were telling it to me. Apparently Stalker got lost in a Super Walmart and Snake Eyes had to go rescue him. Apparently some guy with a mullet that was working in the hunting section was hitting on him, so he tried to escape. In the process of his escape, he got lost. I guess he swallowed his pride and called Snake Eyes on his cell phone. When Scarlett told me Snake Eyes's reply, I couldn't stop laughing. Snake Eyes had sent a text message back that said "How the hell do YOU get lost in Walmart?!" When he found him, I guess Stalker was hiding out in the toy section. Stalker tried to swear him to secrecy, but you can't keep a story like that down, even if you're Snake Eyes. Scarlett pulled it out of him.
I have the feeling that the women will eventually let the whole base know of Stalker's adventure in Walmart. My guess is that he's going to try to kill Snake Eyes here within the next day or so.
Okay, enough of that. My remaining patients were on nearly perfect behavior today. Notice that I said nearly. They were giving each other "tattoos" with their pens. Except for Dusty, his burns are still healing. But he did draw a "lovely" picture of a Smurf with an M-16 on Gung Ho's cast. (Gung Ho thought he was drawing something else.) Beach Head thought that was hilarious and drew a picture of Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck armed with ammunition on Gung Ho's other cast. Oh, and someone taped a sign to the infirmary door that said "Entering the Territory of Dr. Evil." I wonder which smart ass did that. Someone must have seen it, because later on in the day I found a picture taped on the door of a bald man with his little finger to his mouth. I guess that's what Dr. Evil looks like. He kind of reminds me of Mindbender.
Oh great, I just heard Duke yell in the hall "Stalker did WHAT?!" My guess is that the whole PIT will know about the Walmart incident before Midnight. Stalker's going to kill Snake Eyes.