Remnants of Life
Disclaimer: The Characters aren't mine, only the Plot. Characters are from the mind of J.K. Rowling.
Rating: R
===Note===
Yes the last cliff hanger was cruel of me. But hey, it seemed to have helped. I got more reviews anyway =) Thanks to the reviewers. You helped me complete the next chapter in one long 5 hour sitting.
Chapter 8: Blood on Your Hands
Hermione didn't realize she had her breathe held until she finally exhaled in the long pause that followed his words. Goosebumps rose on her arms and she wrapped them around herself for comfort. She watched his face for humor, praying the statement was a cruel joke. She noticed his eyes dart nervously away from her for a second before returning to her face. He didn't offer further explanation for his words.
She finally responded, trying to keep her voice as even as possible. To her dismay, it came out as a stutter.
"That's...not funny." Hermione waited for him to sneer and laugh at her. She waited for him to do something to signify that it had all been in jest. Desperately, she thought back to their younger days of taunts and ill intended humor. It had irritated her beyond reason, but now she wished for it to be that way once more. She received nothing from his frozen features and realized there was to be no laughter that night.
Malfoy looked down at his own raised wand tip. Hermione followed his gaze and noticed the weapon was pointed to her heart. She clutched herself ever more tightly as if her arms could shield her from death. She was too intelligent to actually believe that to be possible however.
"It wasn't meant to be funny." He finally said slowly. His words came too late. Hermione had realized what the answer to her statement would be as soon as she had spoken.
She took a step back, then another until she was pressed against the smooth white wall. She had been an idiot, Hermione thought. She had assumed life would be carefree as a muggle, normal even, she didn't realize her past would come back to haunt her. There would be no swift detachment from the dying world. The civilization was sinking into the depths and dragging her down with it.
Quickly she tried to recall the whereabouts of her wand. She felt like scolding herself when she realized she had stowed it away. In an effort to escape from her magical history, Hermione had locked the wand in a wooden box, and then proceeded to hide the container in a dusty corner of the attic. She had intended to keep it from sight until she was ready to view it again, not entirely certain when that would be.
Idiot, Idiot, she thought to herself. Her eyes darted around the room looking for a weapon. Nothing came of her search. Her bedroom was a child's; filled with stuffed animals and family pictures.
Malfoy continued to stare at her with blank eyes. His feathery hair fell across his forehead, partially blocking his vision, but he didn't seem to care. She noticed his wand hand shaking. It was the unsteadiness which soothed her. She realized then that his mind was not made up, she might live yet.
He opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it again. Finally, he let out a low laugh. "It's almost funny," he said quietly, "they knew this would happen. They knew you would die anyway."
Hermione wasn't looking at him, but at the weapon he held. It practically gleamed in the dark. She never realized before how much it resembled a steel blade. She spoke to the wooden object as she waited for possible death to erupt from its tip.
"What do you mean?" She murmured. Her eyes darted to his face before returning back to his hand. She wasn't sure what to look at.
Malfoy laughed in his strangled way once more. Hermione flinched at the sound. "My father, his friends! They knew, they let you live just so I could kill you." His hand shook more violently. She watched the weapon vibrate in his grasp. She found nothing humorous in his words, yet he continued chuckling to himself. Briefly, she feared he would wake her parents down the hall. This was to be her battle, they had to remain oblivious. She prayed they were deeply asleep.
"Why are you doing this?" She asked, her eyes never leaving the wand. He wasn't evil, Hermione told herself. He had comforted her, he had saved her. What was he doing? She almost laughed herself when she realized it was the cruelest irony imaginable. He had gifted her with life only to snatch it away.
"They don't any opposition. All threats are to be eliminated. The Dark Lord fell once because of a child, he's not willing to make that mistake again." Malfoy spoke the words almost as if it was a memorized speech. Hermione realized that was what he had been told. He was simply repeating the information. The lack of emotion he showed frightened her. Is this what he had become? Just another blind servant? She finally saw the torment of his sacrifice.
She moved slightly away from the wall against which she had been pressed. Without the smooth, security it brought, Hermione felt ever more vulnerable. The room seemed colder, but she was sure it was imagined. She wondered why Malfoy wasn't moving. She decided to take a chance, if he was intent on killing her, he would have done so already.
She reached out a comforting hand and rested it on the tip of his wand. "You don't have to do this. I could help you." Hermione said in attempt to sooth him. Her voice came out shakier than she would have liked. She hoped it went unnoticed.
Malfoy stared at her hand sitting on the weapon. It rested delicately, not applying any weight to the object. Hermione watched him just breathe for a moment. The rhythm was calming. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. She got lost in the pattern. It reminded her he was still human. That he wasn't immune to kindness and fear. But then nagging reason told her he was capable of ending life. And the thought prevented her from saying anything more.
"It was my choice, you know. I had willingly gone with them." He stated it as if it was damning evidence of his own wickedness. He appeared to have accepted his fate. "I will suffer the consequences of my actions." He added in a whisper, more to himself than her.
"You didn't have a choice, Draco." Hermione hoped using his name would bring him back. She prayed it would spark some hint of humanity in his fleeting soul. She feared however he was too far gone.
He looked down to the carpeting as he shook his head. "I had a choice. You saw me choose. There's no turning back. I don't want regrets." He spoke bitterly. The strain in his voice made her feel as if he was physically attempting to suppress his own doubts and fears. She wondered if it was possible, if he could change his state of mind virtually overnight.
"I chose life. I won't look back on my choice." He finally finished with determination. His eyes rose back to hers. Hermione saw they were hardened. Their glowing luminance had died. She wanted to ask him what had happened to cause such a change, but feared provoking him.
"Anyone would have chosen life." She said simply, not sure how it would help.
Malfoy's solemn eyes lowered once more. He licked his lips and appeared to drift into a half daze. "Potter would have fought." He finally said quietly.
Hermione sucked in her breathe quickly. She hadn't expected mention of Harry. She wasn't prepared to discuss her friend. Her sudden reaction didn't go unnoticed.
He looked back to her. "So you've heard about his death." Hermione damned herself for showing her emotions so openly. She bit her lip to feel satisfying pain; anything to distract her from the sorrow.
Her throat constricted and she couldn't respond out loud. She nodded her head instead.
Malfoy continued, uncaring of how the topic distressed her. "He didn't surrender without a fight. He didn't just choose to live." He began mumbling to himself. "He didn't give in like a cowardly servant. He could have survived, had he been more willing."
His words confused her. She listened to his voice, quiet and strained, and that's when the thought first entered her head. That was when the trembling of her hands couldn't be hidden any longer.
"How do you know this?" She asked, breaking the spell he had over himself. He looked startled as he turned back to her. Malfoy took a step forward, she responded with a step back.
His eyes were pleading when he answered. "I watched him die."
Hermione took another step back, unknowing of the closeness of the wall. She hit it with a soft thud and wished she could disappear into its solid surface. The tears came streaming down her face and dropped from her chin. In the dead silence which followed his confession, she could almost swear she heard them hit the carpet.
When she said nothing, Malfoy took another step nearer. His grip on his wand loosened, and Hermione watched the weapon drop to the floor.
"I watched them kill him, Hermione. I stood by and watched him die. I did nothing!" He screamed at her as his face contorted. She wasn't sure if he was angry of sorrowful. Her heartbeat increased as she willed her parents to remain asleep. Please, Please, Please...she chanted in her head.
It felt vital for her to calm him. Everything possible must be done to allow her family to continue their perfect lives. Hermione quickly swallowed her own pain. It meant nothing now.
"Please, Draco. There's nothing you could have done." Her voice was desperate instead of soothing as she would have liked.
"I watched and did nothing, Hermione! There's blood on my hands!" She felt like she was suffocating. The room spun around them. Her nightmare had come back to haunt her. The image flickered in her mind, Draco, reaching out to her in the dark empty corridor. Draco, with blood dripping from his fingertips.
Her body numbed and she lost the feeling in her legs. Hermione slide to the floor and landed softly. Pulling her knees to her chest, she hugged them for support.
He approached her cautiously. Looking up, she saw his eyes were pleading. She pitied him. There was nothing threatening in his presence anymore. The wand lay untouched on the floor before her. Neither of them seemed interested in picking it up.
Malfoy slumped against the wall beside her. Copying her actions, he lowered himself to the ground. They sat side by side, both staring straight ahead. Nothing was said as Hermione attempted to calm her thudding heartbeat. The ticking of her clock seemed almost deafening. She counted off the seconds in her head.
One minute, she thought to herself.
She had almost counted another sixty seconds before he spoke at last, startling her out of her trance.
"Do you blame me?" He turned his head to look at her. Hermione gazed right back intently.
She considered her answer. "No."
Malfoy nodded to show he heard her. Tentatively, she rested her head against his shoulder. He didn't respond.
===Note===
I have this bad habit of killing off Harry in my short stories. I don't know why... It's just easier to be rid of him than to discuss his feelings on a Draco/Hermione relationship. Besides, with him gone you really have to realize that Draco is the hero in my stories. And that's much better isn't it?
Anyways, review please. Give me a reason to write.
-Captive