Kenshin Meets Magenta
Chapter Two: Hyperactive slaves, Yahiko's wrath, Pink Gi's, and Muscely Little Girls
*A/N's:
1/ ACK! I just realized I forgot last chappie's disclaimer! SORRY! Ahem.
Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. If I did, then why the heck would I be writing on fanfiction.net? Get it? Fan. Fiction.
1/ I feel loved. Thank you, reviewers. No, seriously. Ask my buddies Nick and Alexa. I couldn't stop giggling with excitement! I LOVE YOU ALL!
2/Oh my good golly gosh! I just realized I've been spelling Saitou's name wrong all this time! Oh well.
3/ From before, I forgot to tell you that the song actually originates from a cheer my school sings in a basketball game. Of course, the words are a little different. And yes, we did have to stop singing it due to the censoring machine from the other team's supporters becoming overloaded.
4/ The dictionary thing. I put in the word baka, but I didn't put it in the actual story. Sorry ya'll. I was gonna make Kaoru call Yahiko a baka, or Kenshin, but I forgot! Sorry!
5/ Thanks to medieval princess for the use of Magenta. I was originally going to use pink, but then she told me his gi was already hot pink, and gave me the idea of using magenta. Thankies!
6/ Enough with my rambling notes, on to the story! *
Disclaimer: Ha! Me own Rurouni Kenshin? Puh- LEEZ!
Chapter Two:
Ah! Welcome back to your tour around the daily lives of our fave posse! Remember, the cost of this high expense trip is only one review! Yes, only *one* review! Take advantage of this low-cost tour!
Well now, let us glide our way to the beginning of the day, where our fellow Kenshin-wannabe, Yahiko Myojin, rests peacefully in a deep slumber.
Yahiko's legs kicked the air aimlessly while he turned around, snoring loudly and making him look very dumb indeed. He was muttering something in his sleep, while frowning slightly.
"No...ow...Kaoru stop! Stop! Stop hitting me with your stupid bokken! Stop...".
It seems like our little samurai is having a nightmare that is soon to become real, because-
"YAHIKO! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO WAKE UP?!".
Kaoru ran over to Yahiko, who was still kicking the air, and kicked his shoulder.
"OW!", he yelled, then fell back asleep, muttering something about how cruel the world was to have fated him with an ugly teacher like Kaoru.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!", Kaoru yelled, kicking his arm.
"GET OFF ME UGLY!".
"That's it Yahiko! Now you'll have to do 500 more strokes!".
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!!?!??!?!", Yahiko yelled, getting up immediately, throwing a look of utter and absolute revulsion at his teacher.
"You heard me! Now get up and get started!".
Grumbling nastily under his breath, Yahiko got up, splashed his face with some water, and prepared to do strokes, imagining that each and every one of them was hitting Kaoru's head.
Well, that was a cheery awakening, was it not? Let us move on- and watch out for Yahiko's bokken- to the clinic, where a fox woman is now treating one of her patients.
Megumi sighed. She loved being a doctor- but honestly- wasn't there some policy of not having to treat this particular patient? Earlier that morning, when she first caught sight of the patient, she immediately pulled her boss aside and began begging hopelessly.
"PLEASE! I do NOT want to have to treat him!".
"Ms.Takani, I'm sorry, but you must treat every single normal patient equally!".
"But this particular patient isn't normal!", she hissed, pointing to the patient inside. "You honestly can't expect me to treat---".
"Sanoske Sagara", she said hopelessly, looking at the man who was sitting in front of her.
"That's my name!", Sanoske said cheerfully.
"Yes I can!", the boss said happily, and did a curtsy, leaving the room.
"Please lie down on the stretcher", Megumi said with 0% emotion.
"Gladly, fox-lady!", Sanoske said perkily.
"Why are you so perky? Did you get stuck in the sake again?", she asked, while surveying his shoulder.
"No! I'm just ever-so-happy!".
"Right", Megumi said sarcastically.
"What? I *am*!".
"Sure", she mumbled, adding anti-biotic to his wound.
"OW! That hurts me!".
"Well, what do you expect? It to be painless, you big lousy lazy bum?".
"No- HEY!".
"Well, you know it's true!".
Let us leave this inevitable lashing of verbal abuse before it begins. We have better things to do with our lives.
Ah, yes, here we are. Over here we see Ayame and Suzume playing tic tac toe, while bribing Saitou for tips.
"Please, Mr. Policeman? Where should I put my X?", she asked, giving him the lip.
"AAH! NO! THE LIP! DON'T GIVE ME THE LIIIIIP! OH...THE HORROR!!!!". Saitou was trembling in fear, biting his nails.
Ayame refused to budge her lip, quivering it slightly.
Saitou sighed. "Alright", he muttered. "Since you asked so *politely*".
He pointed to an empty spot next to Suzume's O.
Suzume grinned evilly. She looked up to Saitou, still wearing that evil grin.
"Uh...", he said nervously. He glanced suspiciously at Suzume's grin which was baring fangs. He shuddered. Evil looks never meant something good. He had plenty of experience, him being the one who delivered them.
Suzume took the drawing stick and put it next to a drawing box. She firmly made an O and sat back, smiling evilly, cherishing the effects of her work.
Ayame's eyes went as wide as saucers. She counted the number of O's slowly, taking time to register the fact: She lost.
Saitou calmly stared at the game, while in reality, he was staring into open space, thinking of absolutely nothing. He liked to do that sometimes. Calmed him down. Made him feel peaceful and happy and full of fuzzy bears and unicorns and stuff.
Absentmindedly taking out a short stick, he began filing his nails professionally. Yes, he *was* filing his nails. Made him feel as though he was scrubbing all of his troubles away.
Then, snapping out of it, he realized Ayame was stuttering, looking, paralyzed at the sand, while Suzume was doing a little jig of delight. Saitou studied the gameboard. Three X's. Four O's. One loss.
He pondered for a bit, peacefully, wondering who could've been so unfortunate as to lose to such an easy game. While he was pondering, Ayame's temper grew.
Whilst still thinking to himself with no care in the world, Ayame's face began to boil up, turning a fiery red. Suzume even stopped dancing and looked to watch this interesting change of color.
Now, sit back, relax, and watch with Suzume this interesting array of colors!
Ayame's face first became as hot red as a beet, then as yellow and as pale as an overripe lemon, then turned green as a cucumber, then quickly sped onto an ugly puce.
She slowly turned her puce head to Saitou, who was peacefully thinking, suddenly remembering it was Ayame who lost. Proud of himself for being able to figure that out, he looked up to see a young girl with a disturbing-colored face. Boy, would he feel sorry for the victim of that stare.
Who was that, really?, he pondered.
Ayame began flexing her muscles (which were surprisingly huge) and stared at Saitou with a look that a wolf gives its prey. Saitou gulped.
"Mr. POLICEMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!", she screamed.
And immediately, she began kicking his legs very hard.
"Ow! OW! OWW! GET OFF! GET OFF! SPARE MERCY! MEEEEEERRRRRCCCCCCCCCCCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!", he cried.
Ayame was now holding Saitou up above her, and quickly spun him around, throwing him, picking him up, spinning him around, throwing him, picking him up, spinning him around, throwing him, picking him up, spinning him around, throwing him...you get the idea. Oh yes, she was also kicking him, punching him, and screaming at the top of her lungs at the whimpering man.
Suzume was now sitting back, munching merrily on some tofu, watching the girl beat up the tall policeman with a Japanese katana.
Ahem. Well. That was interesting. Ayame must be working out. And now, we shall venture off to the exciting and adventurous world of *ahem* Sanoske Sagara!
"And so, the guy's like, 'Sano, you want some sake?'. And then I'm like, 'Well ,you know I do!'. And then he's like- doc? Doc? Yoo-hoo? Are you listening?".
Megumi immediately stopped snoring, and wiped a drool away. Dusting herself off, she said, "Er...yes".
"Okay then, Megumi. If you were listening then answer this: What was I talking about, huh?".
Megumi scrunched her eyebrows. "You were talking about", she said carefully, "bout how it was such a pleasure to know you're healed and that you can go home now and leave the nice, beautiful, thoughtful, considerate, patient, perseverant doctor alone!".
Sano scratched his head. "I see where you're going. You don't want me".
"Yes!", Megumi said, relieved that he finally got the point. "Yes, that's exactly what I was aiming for!".
Sanoske burst into tears.
"Uh- uh", Megumi said nervously, looking around for any help. "Um...".
Sanoske just cried even louder.
"Well. Um".
"You hate me!", he cried.
"No I don't", she said distractedly, still looking for anyone who would help her. But everyone surrounding them found this scenario quite funny.
"Yes you do!".
"No I don't", she muttered, pleading with her eyes for someone to shut Sano up.
"Yes you do!".
"No I don't!", she snapped, getting irritated.
"Yes you do!".
"No I don't!!!!!!!!!".
"Then why do you always call me a log and a lazy bum and an annoying rooster head and a-".
"Maybe cause you *are* those things", she said under her breath.
"WAAA!".
"Please be quiet Sano".
Sano sniffed.
Megumi sighed.
Everybody else laughed their heads off.
Megumi slowly took out a mild tranquilizer.
"-and you always yell at me and we never get along and- Megumi?", Sano asked nervously. "What's that in your hand? It looks like a big scary needle- Megumi? Why are you bringing it closer to me? Hey- get it away! I don't do well under pointy things! Get it away! AWAY!".
Megumi stuck it in his arm .
"Away! Away...*snore*".
Megumi sighed, relieved.
*three hours later*
Ah! Sanoske has finally awaken, and it seems he has gone back to normal! Let us witness this unfortunate series of events!
Sano rubbed his eyes casually, and yawned loudly, taking in his surroundings.
"Why am I in a hospital?", he wondered aloud.
He looked down slowly at his bandaged arm and smelled his breath. "Oh", he thought dully.
"Well", he thought, stretching his arms, "better get outta here".
"Without paying the bill?", a sharp voice said irately.
"Eh...Megumi, ya know I ain't got no money", he muttered.
"I don't care", she said in an angry tone, standing in front of him. "You owe me...let's see, 50 yen for the wound treatment, 20 for whining your head off at me, 30 for wasting my life, 10 for sleeping two hours more than you were supposed to, and, oh yes, 40 more for simply existing".
Sano fell over. "Now doc", he said carefully, getting up and walking slooooooowly to the door, "is that what I get for stopping you from committing suicide?".
"Yes", Megumi said unflinchingly. "And get away from that door!".
Sano sweatdropped. Then, deciding that he had no choice, he fell to his knees and hugged Megumi's legs desperately.
"Please Megumi! I have no money! I'll do anything! Anyythiiing!".
Megumi put a finger to her chin and smiled thoughtfully. "You *could* be my servant", she said slowly.
"Yes! Yes!", Sano said happily.
"Okay then!", Megumi said excitedly, clasping her hands together in happiness.
*ten minutes later at Megumi's home*
Sanoske looked at the place with wonder in his eyes. It was huge! A mansion! It had statues of golden foxes inside and big pretty fountains of water! It was LUXURY!
Sano suddenly realized something. His face grew as red as a tomato and he looked down at Megumi, yelling at the top of his lungs, "I'VE BEEN SCRAPING FOR FOOD AND CAMPING OUT IN OTHER PEOPLE'S HOMES ALL THIS TIME AND YOU NEVER INVITED ME OR ANYONE ELSE AT THE DOJO?! HOW INSENSITIVE CAN YOU BE?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!".
Megumi snarled at Sano.
We'll leave now before the biggest fight of a life time occurs and poor Sano will be beaten to a pulp.
*back at the dojo*
"689, 690...", Yahiko breathed, arms dropping limply to their sides. A crowd was gathered around him now, cheering him on.
"691", he gasped, swooshing his bokken down. "692...".
He sighed. "I JUST CAN'T DO IT!", he wailed.
"Little Yahiko, you can do it!", Tsubame cried.
"Don't call me little!", Yahiko roared.
"LITTLE YAHIKO! LITTLE YAHIKO! LITTLE YAHIKO!!!!", everybody cried.
"STOP!", Yahiko yelled, doing 693, "CALLING! *swoosh 694* ME! *swoosh numero 695* LIIIIIIIIIIITTTT - *696, 697, 698* LLLLLEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! *699, and, *gasp* alas! 700!*.
Yahiko bowed down to jubilant and unanimous cheers filling the stadium. He bowed deeply, accepting the roses being thrown at him and prepared his speech. Wait- that's not right, let me fix that.
Yahiko bowed down to the cheers filling the crowd that surrounded him, then got up, with an evil and creepy glint in his eyes. He lifted up his bokken, and whacked the nearest person, making him go unconscious.
"That what you get!", he cackled evilly, and began chasing everyone else, who began screaming their heads off and running from Yahiko's wrath.
*one hour later*
Yahiko put his bokken casually on his shoulder, smiling proudly at all of the unconscious bodies laying down in front of him. Kaoru came, clapping her hands. "Yahiko, did you knock out all of these people yourself?'.
Yahiko gulped. "Yes", he mumbled.
"Good job!", she exclaimed.
Yahiko looked mildly surprised. "But what happened to the Kamiya Kasshin style being to protect?".
"Well, yes", she said offhandedly, "but all in my life of teaching, I've never seen anyone knock out more people in one hour as fast as you!".
Yahiko whooped. "YEAH! Go me, go me, go me, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!".
*back at the mansion*
Sano was on his knees, wiping the floor meticulously. Megumi looked down at him, smiling smartly. 'Hmph', she thought, 'he deserves this'.
Sano was not used to being on his knees actually doing- god forbid- WORK! Which is why he was really, really, really off today.
Sano scrubbed the floor angrily, making sure every single crumb seeping with sneakiness and evil left this evil mansion full of evil women doctors who tortured poor, helpless, defenseless, pure men like himself. Her evil, dark, shadow stood behind him like a bad omen as he scrubbed, scraped, cleaned, cooked, and failed miserably to her meticulous demands.
"You missed a spot", Megumi said, laughing jubilantly, pointing to a tiny eetsy beetsy crumb that Sano had overlooked. Grumbling, Sano scrubbed it up.
While this was going on, a little boy found some hot corn inside the food stand in the big pretty mansion. Yes, the food stand. Eating it, some trickles of corn fell on the sparkly, pearly floor that showed his reflection. He continued walking absentmindedly, licking the corn with intense eagerness.
Sano was still scrubbing, when all of a sudden, his nose began to twitch like a rat's with extreme dislike. His eyes were swirling with insaneness, and he said crazily, "Who's spilling on my floor? MY floor! That I take so much effort to keep clean?! WHO?! WHOOO?!". Megumi uncomfortably took a step back, staring at him, scared.
'Maybe I overdid it', she thought. Then, mentally slapping Sano (never herself), she thought, 'Nah'.
Sano was now crawling on all fours, still sniffing the air with a crazed look on his face. "Must...find...criminal", he said hungrily.
Finally, he found himself smelling some stinky feet. The feet of a young boy. Sano slowly looked up into the eyes of a boy around Yahiko's age.
He leapt to his feet, grabbing him by the collar. "KID!", he bellowed. "HOW DARE YOU BE SO...SO *UN* CLEAN! DO YOU REALIZE THAT EVERY SINGLE SPEC OF- OF- *EVIL* YOU DROP ONTO THIS FLOOR GIVES ME ANOTHER HOUR OF WORK?! DO YOU?! HUH?! DOOOOOO YOOOOUUUUU?!?!?!?!?!?!".
Megumi sweatdropped.
Er...we should leave Sano's precious meticulously clean over-obsessed floor before he finds us. Right. Anyways, it's now about time for Kaoru and Kenshin to go buy that gi!
Kenshin and Kaoru strolled through the market, looking at the many choices of magenta gi's. Kaoru pulled Kenshin into a shop, where the clerks immediately began cheering and dancing at the prospect of a customer.
"What would you like, sir, madam?", the owner said cheerfully.
"A magenta gi, if you have one", Kaoru said politely.
"Why, yes, yes we do!", he cried, and immediately, he bounded onto the stage and pulled out 50 different magenta gi's, each one degree different from each other, infact, only magenta obsessives could tell the difference.
"Oh my!", Kenshin cried, tears filling his eyes. "So many choices!".
Kaoru blinked. She couldn't see anything. Oh well.
Kenshin was giggling with glee, bouncing up and down and inspecting each of the gi's carefully.
"Well, let's see, this looks nice, no it's too light- what about this? No, too dark! Ooh, this one! No- it's too pink".
Kaoru rolled her eyes.
"This looks really good! Agh, no, major fashion no-no".
Kaoru made a noise that sounded halfway between a snort or a sigh of pity.
*two hours lata*
"Miss Kaoru? Miss Kaoru? How does sessha look in *this* one?", Kensin asked, posing and spinning around for Kaoru, who was, needless to say, sick of magenta. But, hey, if Kenshin liked it-
"You look wonderful, Kenshin", she murmured, trying not to fall asleep.
"Really? But don't you think this makes sessha look mad?".
"No, Kenshin, you look fine".
"No, sessha thinks sessha should try another one", Kenshin bubbled, looking for another one.
"You know what, Kenshin?", Kaoru said sweetly, anger building up. "I think this gi really says 'you', don't you?".
"But-", Kenshin sputtered.
"We'll pay for it", Kaoru said harshly.
Dragging Kenshin out of the store, Kaoru grumbled to herself angrily, going to the Akabeko. Tae had revived from Yahiko's bokken, so service was in order. Tsubame hadn't been hit- Yahiko liked her too much. *AWW!*.
Kaoru and Kenshin were surprised to find Sano there, not eating, but mumbling to himself, stirring his tea.
"Hello Sano", Kaoru said cheerfully, sitting down opposite to him.
"Hn", Sano replied.
Kenshin pulled out his gi and put it in front of Sano, "See sessha's gi? Isn't it so prettyful?", he asked.
"Hn".
And that's how lunch went on. Questions and Hn's.
Kenshin put down his chopsticks and looked concernedly at Sano. "Sano, what's wrong?", he asked gently.
"Megumi is an evil, evil person", he mumbled.
Both Kenshin and Kaoru fought very, very hard to keep straight faces.
Hn. Well, catch ya lata! Remember, you only need to pay *one* review! So pay up!
* Okay, everybody. Here are the credits:
The phrase 'Go me, go me, go me, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh' belongs to medieval princess.
Thanks to Eikou ( ) for the definition of sessha!
Dictionary:
bokken: stick used in the Kamiya Kasshin style
katana: Japanese sword
sake: alcoholic beverage
sessha: way of addressing yourself, with connotations of extreme humbleness, like calling oneself unworthy.
Remember, read and review!
Chapter Two: Hyperactive slaves, Yahiko's wrath, Pink Gi's, and Muscely Little Girls
*A/N's:
1/ ACK! I just realized I forgot last chappie's disclaimer! SORRY! Ahem.
Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. If I did, then why the heck would I be writing on fanfiction.net? Get it? Fan. Fiction.
1/ I feel loved. Thank you, reviewers. No, seriously. Ask my buddies Nick and Alexa. I couldn't stop giggling with excitement! I LOVE YOU ALL!
2/Oh my good golly gosh! I just realized I've been spelling Saitou's name wrong all this time! Oh well.
3/ From before, I forgot to tell you that the song actually originates from a cheer my school sings in a basketball game. Of course, the words are a little different. And yes, we did have to stop singing it due to the censoring machine from the other team's supporters becoming overloaded.
4/ The dictionary thing. I put in the word baka, but I didn't put it in the actual story. Sorry ya'll. I was gonna make Kaoru call Yahiko a baka, or Kenshin, but I forgot! Sorry!
5/ Thanks to medieval princess for the use of Magenta. I was originally going to use pink, but then she told me his gi was already hot pink, and gave me the idea of using magenta. Thankies!
6/ Enough with my rambling notes, on to the story! *
Disclaimer: Ha! Me own Rurouni Kenshin? Puh- LEEZ!
Chapter Two:
Ah! Welcome back to your tour around the daily lives of our fave posse! Remember, the cost of this high expense trip is only one review! Yes, only *one* review! Take advantage of this low-cost tour!
Well now, let us glide our way to the beginning of the day, where our fellow Kenshin-wannabe, Yahiko Myojin, rests peacefully in a deep slumber.
Yahiko's legs kicked the air aimlessly while he turned around, snoring loudly and making him look very dumb indeed. He was muttering something in his sleep, while frowning slightly.
"No...ow...Kaoru stop! Stop! Stop hitting me with your stupid bokken! Stop...".
It seems like our little samurai is having a nightmare that is soon to become real, because-
"YAHIKO! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO WAKE UP?!".
Kaoru ran over to Yahiko, who was still kicking the air, and kicked his shoulder.
"OW!", he yelled, then fell back asleep, muttering something about how cruel the world was to have fated him with an ugly teacher like Kaoru.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!", Kaoru yelled, kicking his arm.
"GET OFF ME UGLY!".
"That's it Yahiko! Now you'll have to do 500 more strokes!".
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!!?!??!?!", Yahiko yelled, getting up immediately, throwing a look of utter and absolute revulsion at his teacher.
"You heard me! Now get up and get started!".
Grumbling nastily under his breath, Yahiko got up, splashed his face with some water, and prepared to do strokes, imagining that each and every one of them was hitting Kaoru's head.
Well, that was a cheery awakening, was it not? Let us move on- and watch out for Yahiko's bokken- to the clinic, where a fox woman is now treating one of her patients.
Megumi sighed. She loved being a doctor- but honestly- wasn't there some policy of not having to treat this particular patient? Earlier that morning, when she first caught sight of the patient, she immediately pulled her boss aside and began begging hopelessly.
"PLEASE! I do NOT want to have to treat him!".
"Ms.Takani, I'm sorry, but you must treat every single normal patient equally!".
"But this particular patient isn't normal!", she hissed, pointing to the patient inside. "You honestly can't expect me to treat---".
"Sanoske Sagara", she said hopelessly, looking at the man who was sitting in front of her.
"That's my name!", Sanoske said cheerfully.
"Yes I can!", the boss said happily, and did a curtsy, leaving the room.
"Please lie down on the stretcher", Megumi said with 0% emotion.
"Gladly, fox-lady!", Sanoske said perkily.
"Why are you so perky? Did you get stuck in the sake again?", she asked, while surveying his shoulder.
"No! I'm just ever-so-happy!".
"Right", Megumi said sarcastically.
"What? I *am*!".
"Sure", she mumbled, adding anti-biotic to his wound.
"OW! That hurts me!".
"Well, what do you expect? It to be painless, you big lousy lazy bum?".
"No- HEY!".
"Well, you know it's true!".
Let us leave this inevitable lashing of verbal abuse before it begins. We have better things to do with our lives.
Ah, yes, here we are. Over here we see Ayame and Suzume playing tic tac toe, while bribing Saitou for tips.
"Please, Mr. Policeman? Where should I put my X?", she asked, giving him the lip.
"AAH! NO! THE LIP! DON'T GIVE ME THE LIIIIIP! OH...THE HORROR!!!!". Saitou was trembling in fear, biting his nails.
Ayame refused to budge her lip, quivering it slightly.
Saitou sighed. "Alright", he muttered. "Since you asked so *politely*".
He pointed to an empty spot next to Suzume's O.
Suzume grinned evilly. She looked up to Saitou, still wearing that evil grin.
"Uh...", he said nervously. He glanced suspiciously at Suzume's grin which was baring fangs. He shuddered. Evil looks never meant something good. He had plenty of experience, him being the one who delivered them.
Suzume took the drawing stick and put it next to a drawing box. She firmly made an O and sat back, smiling evilly, cherishing the effects of her work.
Ayame's eyes went as wide as saucers. She counted the number of O's slowly, taking time to register the fact: She lost.
Saitou calmly stared at the game, while in reality, he was staring into open space, thinking of absolutely nothing. He liked to do that sometimes. Calmed him down. Made him feel peaceful and happy and full of fuzzy bears and unicorns and stuff.
Absentmindedly taking out a short stick, he began filing his nails professionally. Yes, he *was* filing his nails. Made him feel as though he was scrubbing all of his troubles away.
Then, snapping out of it, he realized Ayame was stuttering, looking, paralyzed at the sand, while Suzume was doing a little jig of delight. Saitou studied the gameboard. Three X's. Four O's. One loss.
He pondered for a bit, peacefully, wondering who could've been so unfortunate as to lose to such an easy game. While he was pondering, Ayame's temper grew.
Whilst still thinking to himself with no care in the world, Ayame's face began to boil up, turning a fiery red. Suzume even stopped dancing and looked to watch this interesting change of color.
Now, sit back, relax, and watch with Suzume this interesting array of colors!
Ayame's face first became as hot red as a beet, then as yellow and as pale as an overripe lemon, then turned green as a cucumber, then quickly sped onto an ugly puce.
She slowly turned her puce head to Saitou, who was peacefully thinking, suddenly remembering it was Ayame who lost. Proud of himself for being able to figure that out, he looked up to see a young girl with a disturbing-colored face. Boy, would he feel sorry for the victim of that stare.
Who was that, really?, he pondered.
Ayame began flexing her muscles (which were surprisingly huge) and stared at Saitou with a look that a wolf gives its prey. Saitou gulped.
"Mr. POLICEMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!", she screamed.
And immediately, she began kicking his legs very hard.
"Ow! OW! OWW! GET OFF! GET OFF! SPARE MERCY! MEEEEEERRRRRCCCCCCCCCCCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!", he cried.
Ayame was now holding Saitou up above her, and quickly spun him around, throwing him, picking him up, spinning him around, throwing him, picking him up, spinning him around, throwing him, picking him up, spinning him around, throwing him...you get the idea. Oh yes, she was also kicking him, punching him, and screaming at the top of her lungs at the whimpering man.
Suzume was now sitting back, munching merrily on some tofu, watching the girl beat up the tall policeman with a Japanese katana.
Ahem. Well. That was interesting. Ayame must be working out. And now, we shall venture off to the exciting and adventurous world of *ahem* Sanoske Sagara!
"And so, the guy's like, 'Sano, you want some sake?'. And then I'm like, 'Well ,you know I do!'. And then he's like- doc? Doc? Yoo-hoo? Are you listening?".
Megumi immediately stopped snoring, and wiped a drool away. Dusting herself off, she said, "Er...yes".
"Okay then, Megumi. If you were listening then answer this: What was I talking about, huh?".
Megumi scrunched her eyebrows. "You were talking about", she said carefully, "bout how it was such a pleasure to know you're healed and that you can go home now and leave the nice, beautiful, thoughtful, considerate, patient, perseverant doctor alone!".
Sano scratched his head. "I see where you're going. You don't want me".
"Yes!", Megumi said, relieved that he finally got the point. "Yes, that's exactly what I was aiming for!".
Sanoske burst into tears.
"Uh- uh", Megumi said nervously, looking around for any help. "Um...".
Sanoske just cried even louder.
"Well. Um".
"You hate me!", he cried.
"No I don't", she said distractedly, still looking for anyone who would help her. But everyone surrounding them found this scenario quite funny.
"Yes you do!".
"No I don't", she muttered, pleading with her eyes for someone to shut Sano up.
"Yes you do!".
"No I don't!", she snapped, getting irritated.
"Yes you do!".
"No I don't!!!!!!!!!".
"Then why do you always call me a log and a lazy bum and an annoying rooster head and a-".
"Maybe cause you *are* those things", she said under her breath.
"WAAA!".
"Please be quiet Sano".
Sano sniffed.
Megumi sighed.
Everybody else laughed their heads off.
Megumi slowly took out a mild tranquilizer.
"-and you always yell at me and we never get along and- Megumi?", Sano asked nervously. "What's that in your hand? It looks like a big scary needle- Megumi? Why are you bringing it closer to me? Hey- get it away! I don't do well under pointy things! Get it away! AWAY!".
Megumi stuck it in his arm .
"Away! Away...*snore*".
Megumi sighed, relieved.
*three hours later*
Ah! Sanoske has finally awaken, and it seems he has gone back to normal! Let us witness this unfortunate series of events!
Sano rubbed his eyes casually, and yawned loudly, taking in his surroundings.
"Why am I in a hospital?", he wondered aloud.
He looked down slowly at his bandaged arm and smelled his breath. "Oh", he thought dully.
"Well", he thought, stretching his arms, "better get outta here".
"Without paying the bill?", a sharp voice said irately.
"Eh...Megumi, ya know I ain't got no money", he muttered.
"I don't care", she said in an angry tone, standing in front of him. "You owe me...let's see, 50 yen for the wound treatment, 20 for whining your head off at me, 30 for wasting my life, 10 for sleeping two hours more than you were supposed to, and, oh yes, 40 more for simply existing".
Sano fell over. "Now doc", he said carefully, getting up and walking slooooooowly to the door, "is that what I get for stopping you from committing suicide?".
"Yes", Megumi said unflinchingly. "And get away from that door!".
Sano sweatdropped. Then, deciding that he had no choice, he fell to his knees and hugged Megumi's legs desperately.
"Please Megumi! I have no money! I'll do anything! Anyythiiing!".
Megumi put a finger to her chin and smiled thoughtfully. "You *could* be my servant", she said slowly.
"Yes! Yes!", Sano said happily.
"Okay then!", Megumi said excitedly, clasping her hands together in happiness.
*ten minutes later at Megumi's home*
Sanoske looked at the place with wonder in his eyes. It was huge! A mansion! It had statues of golden foxes inside and big pretty fountains of water! It was LUXURY!
Sano suddenly realized something. His face grew as red as a tomato and he looked down at Megumi, yelling at the top of his lungs, "I'VE BEEN SCRAPING FOR FOOD AND CAMPING OUT IN OTHER PEOPLE'S HOMES ALL THIS TIME AND YOU NEVER INVITED ME OR ANYONE ELSE AT THE DOJO?! HOW INSENSITIVE CAN YOU BE?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!".
Megumi snarled at Sano.
We'll leave now before the biggest fight of a life time occurs and poor Sano will be beaten to a pulp.
*back at the dojo*
"689, 690...", Yahiko breathed, arms dropping limply to their sides. A crowd was gathered around him now, cheering him on.
"691", he gasped, swooshing his bokken down. "692...".
He sighed. "I JUST CAN'T DO IT!", he wailed.
"Little Yahiko, you can do it!", Tsubame cried.
"Don't call me little!", Yahiko roared.
"LITTLE YAHIKO! LITTLE YAHIKO! LITTLE YAHIKO!!!!", everybody cried.
"STOP!", Yahiko yelled, doing 693, "CALLING! *swoosh 694* ME! *swoosh numero 695* LIIIIIIIIIIITTTT - *696, 697, 698* LLLLLEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! *699, and, *gasp* alas! 700!*.
Yahiko bowed down to jubilant and unanimous cheers filling the stadium. He bowed deeply, accepting the roses being thrown at him and prepared his speech. Wait- that's not right, let me fix that.
Yahiko bowed down to the cheers filling the crowd that surrounded him, then got up, with an evil and creepy glint in his eyes. He lifted up his bokken, and whacked the nearest person, making him go unconscious.
"That what you get!", he cackled evilly, and began chasing everyone else, who began screaming their heads off and running from Yahiko's wrath.
*one hour later*
Yahiko put his bokken casually on his shoulder, smiling proudly at all of the unconscious bodies laying down in front of him. Kaoru came, clapping her hands. "Yahiko, did you knock out all of these people yourself?'.
Yahiko gulped. "Yes", he mumbled.
"Good job!", she exclaimed.
Yahiko looked mildly surprised. "But what happened to the Kamiya Kasshin style being to protect?".
"Well, yes", she said offhandedly, "but all in my life of teaching, I've never seen anyone knock out more people in one hour as fast as you!".
Yahiko whooped. "YEAH! Go me, go me, go me, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!".
*back at the mansion*
Sano was on his knees, wiping the floor meticulously. Megumi looked down at him, smiling smartly. 'Hmph', she thought, 'he deserves this'.
Sano was not used to being on his knees actually doing- god forbid- WORK! Which is why he was really, really, really off today.
Sano scrubbed the floor angrily, making sure every single crumb seeping with sneakiness and evil left this evil mansion full of evil women doctors who tortured poor, helpless, defenseless, pure men like himself. Her evil, dark, shadow stood behind him like a bad omen as he scrubbed, scraped, cleaned, cooked, and failed miserably to her meticulous demands.
"You missed a spot", Megumi said, laughing jubilantly, pointing to a tiny eetsy beetsy crumb that Sano had overlooked. Grumbling, Sano scrubbed it up.
While this was going on, a little boy found some hot corn inside the food stand in the big pretty mansion. Yes, the food stand. Eating it, some trickles of corn fell on the sparkly, pearly floor that showed his reflection. He continued walking absentmindedly, licking the corn with intense eagerness.
Sano was still scrubbing, when all of a sudden, his nose began to twitch like a rat's with extreme dislike. His eyes were swirling with insaneness, and he said crazily, "Who's spilling on my floor? MY floor! That I take so much effort to keep clean?! WHO?! WHOOO?!". Megumi uncomfortably took a step back, staring at him, scared.
'Maybe I overdid it', she thought. Then, mentally slapping Sano (never herself), she thought, 'Nah'.
Sano was now crawling on all fours, still sniffing the air with a crazed look on his face. "Must...find...criminal", he said hungrily.
Finally, he found himself smelling some stinky feet. The feet of a young boy. Sano slowly looked up into the eyes of a boy around Yahiko's age.
He leapt to his feet, grabbing him by the collar. "KID!", he bellowed. "HOW DARE YOU BE SO...SO *UN* CLEAN! DO YOU REALIZE THAT EVERY SINGLE SPEC OF- OF- *EVIL* YOU DROP ONTO THIS FLOOR GIVES ME ANOTHER HOUR OF WORK?! DO YOU?! HUH?! DOOOOOO YOOOOUUUUU?!?!?!?!?!?!".
Megumi sweatdropped.
Er...we should leave Sano's precious meticulously clean over-obsessed floor before he finds us. Right. Anyways, it's now about time for Kaoru and Kenshin to go buy that gi!
Kenshin and Kaoru strolled through the market, looking at the many choices of magenta gi's. Kaoru pulled Kenshin into a shop, where the clerks immediately began cheering and dancing at the prospect of a customer.
"What would you like, sir, madam?", the owner said cheerfully.
"A magenta gi, if you have one", Kaoru said politely.
"Why, yes, yes we do!", he cried, and immediately, he bounded onto the stage and pulled out 50 different magenta gi's, each one degree different from each other, infact, only magenta obsessives could tell the difference.
"Oh my!", Kenshin cried, tears filling his eyes. "So many choices!".
Kaoru blinked. She couldn't see anything. Oh well.
Kenshin was giggling with glee, bouncing up and down and inspecting each of the gi's carefully.
"Well, let's see, this looks nice, no it's too light- what about this? No, too dark! Ooh, this one! No- it's too pink".
Kaoru rolled her eyes.
"This looks really good! Agh, no, major fashion no-no".
Kaoru made a noise that sounded halfway between a snort or a sigh of pity.
*two hours lata*
"Miss Kaoru? Miss Kaoru? How does sessha look in *this* one?", Kensin asked, posing and spinning around for Kaoru, who was, needless to say, sick of magenta. But, hey, if Kenshin liked it-
"You look wonderful, Kenshin", she murmured, trying not to fall asleep.
"Really? But don't you think this makes sessha look mad?".
"No, Kenshin, you look fine".
"No, sessha thinks sessha should try another one", Kenshin bubbled, looking for another one.
"You know what, Kenshin?", Kaoru said sweetly, anger building up. "I think this gi really says 'you', don't you?".
"But-", Kenshin sputtered.
"We'll pay for it", Kaoru said harshly.
Dragging Kenshin out of the store, Kaoru grumbled to herself angrily, going to the Akabeko. Tae had revived from Yahiko's bokken, so service was in order. Tsubame hadn't been hit- Yahiko liked her too much. *AWW!*.
Kaoru and Kenshin were surprised to find Sano there, not eating, but mumbling to himself, stirring his tea.
"Hello Sano", Kaoru said cheerfully, sitting down opposite to him.
"Hn", Sano replied.
Kenshin pulled out his gi and put it in front of Sano, "See sessha's gi? Isn't it so prettyful?", he asked.
"Hn".
And that's how lunch went on. Questions and Hn's.
Kenshin put down his chopsticks and looked concernedly at Sano. "Sano, what's wrong?", he asked gently.
"Megumi is an evil, evil person", he mumbled.
Both Kenshin and Kaoru fought very, very hard to keep straight faces.
Hn. Well, catch ya lata! Remember, you only need to pay *one* review! So pay up!
* Okay, everybody. Here are the credits:
The phrase 'Go me, go me, go me, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh' belongs to medieval princess.
Thanks to Eikou ( ) for the definition of sessha!
Dictionary:
bokken: stick used in the Kamiya Kasshin style
katana: Japanese sword
sake: alcoholic beverage
sessha: way of addressing yourself, with connotations of extreme humbleness, like calling oneself unworthy.
Remember, read and review!