* A/N's (grab some popcorn while I ramble on)
1/ Wow. Those reviews came in fast! Anyways, thankies for every single one of them!
2/ Notes: I know it looks like I hate Megumi. But I don't. I just find some parts of her personality to be annoying, plus seeing Sano being tortured is fun, and the only one to do the job would be Megumi. Plus, seeing Megumi evil is actually quite fun to write. Infact, I'm a happy-go- lucky Sano/Megumi fan. Yeah, dat's right.
3/ I need ideas, ya'll. Even though my (coughcough) superior intellect is just rumbling with ideas, even I, the great authoressy, can run out of ideas. Just...make sure the ideas are all rated G. You know? And, just so ya'll know, if I get a lot of them, I won't use all of them.
4/ The chapters may not come in very fast, so be patient. I've got like five other stories breathing down my neck. This chapter isn't that funny, actually.
5/ No offense to anyone named Shinta. You'll see why later. Infact, I think it's a sweet name, but Hiko obviously didn't think so...
6/ I know I suck at Japanese, so thanks to everybody who gave me the right definitions!
Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is owned by some rich guy. I ain't some rich guy.
Kenshin Meets Magenta
Chapter 3: Oily sake-drinking zits, Roasting Roosters, and Lame Names
Hello, welcome back! Let's sight-see some more of the lives of Rurouni Kenshin! It's the next day, and lil ole Yahiko has decided to *gasp* actually wake up *early* to practice some strokes!
Yahiko yawned, feeling the rising sun's rays beat down on his face. Rubbing his nose carelessly, he froze when he felt a slight bump on it. Rubbing it half-heartedly, he shrugged and figured it was a mere figment of his imagination. In fact, it was quite fun rubbing the bump, it made a lot of squeaky musical notes. Yahiko rubbed it to a tune only he could hear, and began dancing to the tune of the bump on his nose! Then he began strokes, the squeaky bumpy tune still in his head.
After a few hundred strokes, Yahiko, proud of himself, walked carelessly back into the dojo, where he intended to surprise Kaoru, who should've been waking up just now.
"YAHIKO GET UP RIGHT NOW!", she yelled on instinct, and began trying to *ahem* cook breakfast.
Yahiko, smiling ruefully, walked behind Kaoru slowly, tip-toeing as quiet as a mouse. He was about to scream, 'boo!', when Kaoru said, "I know you're behind me, Yahiko".
Yahiko sweatdropped.
"Now go get a bucket of water for breakfast", she demanded.
Muttering curses under his breath, Yahiko walked to the well and pulled up the bucket with ease, still muttering. Looking down at his reflection in the water, he screamed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".
Everybody rushed to the scene, asking his repeatedly what he saw. Yahiko continued stuttering, just staring at the pail of water, trembling, pointing a finger at the reflection in absolute fear.
Kaoru peered down, and began laughing her head off. "BUWAHAHAHAHA!!!", she cried. "Guess what, everybody? Yahiko's got a ZIT! A huge UGLY zit, right on his nose!".
Everybody looked at each other for a few awkward moments.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!".
"Hey everybody it isn't funny!", Yahiko yelled angrily.
"You're right", Misao said. "It's beyond funny! It's hilarious!".
And everybody began laughing maliciously like evil evil demons again.
Yahiko glared at everybody, then began yelling, jumping up and down furiously,. "People this isn't funny! I've got a zit on my face that looks like a giant gumball of Kaoru's cooking!".
But that just made everyone laugh harder.
"AAARGH!", Yahiko screamed. "This isn't funny you guys! What if Tsubame sees me like this?!".
Everybody paused for a bit. Then they began laughing like crazed maniacs (oh wait that's right, they *are* crazed maniacs!).
"UGH! I'm serious you guys!".
Kaoru bent down and grabbed his cheek in one hand and began pulling it, laughing. "Is our wittle Yahiko growing all up?", she asked in a cutchy- coo tone.
"ARGH! Get your hands off my face! And quit saying that!", he yelled, wrenching himself free from Kaoru's grasp.
And this endured on for a fair number of hours.
After everyone finally left, Yahiko glared down at the bucket of water.
It had oily evil little eyes and sharp oily evil teeth with oily-to- be evil minions ready to pop out! Oh, the horror!
Yahiko snarled. Maybe he could scare it away.
"Ragh! I'm mad!", he yelled, trying to get it to come off.
"I'm REALLY mad! And when I'm mad, no ugly zits had better be there to get in my way!". He punched in his fist. "Cause then I'm just gonna have to beat them to a bloody -yet oily- pulp!".
The zit stuck out it's tongue at him. Yahiko sweatdropped.
"RAAAAAAAAGH! RAGH! ARAGH! ROAR!", he yelled, punching his chest like Tarzan, trying to act like a vicious lion.
A little girl and her mother were passing by and saw Yahiko. "Look mommy, it's a zoo! Can I pet the ugly lion?", she asked.
"Not now, sweetums", the mother said politely.
Yahiko heard and spun around angrily, "Hey watch who you call ugly! C'mon! Face me!".
The mother and child quickly walked past him.
"Argh! C'mere!".
He glared back at his reflection.. "This is all your fault!", he yelled at the zit. He splashed his reflection angrily.
The zit didn't go away. It cackled merrily, baring its red long fangs coated in blood, and its evil yellow eyes widened in laughter, and it's skin was an *ugly* puce! It looked at Yahiko determinedly, and said happily, "See? Now Tsubame will *never* like you! You're too ugly!".
"ARGH! Shaddup!", he yelled, pinching it.
"OW!", it yelled. "Well, too bad", it said, smiling maliciously, "You can't get rid of me! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!".
"Wanna bet?!", Yahiko asked, and quickly ran to the dojo, with a sudden idea.
Yahiko ran to a box and pulled out a huge ice cube. "HA! Try to beat this, ugly!". And he pressed it to his nose.
*one hour later*
Yahiko peeled the ice cube, which, miraculously, didn't melt, and looked back at his reflection. He yelped. Now it was even bigger, and it was *pink!*.
"NOO! Now it'll stick out more, the great ugly freakish pink thing!", he moaned.
Punching his nose over and over again, just to make it feel pain, he moped around the dojo, sneezing often, then cursing his head off at someone named Mr.Zit.
Yahiko suddenly snapped his fingers, an idea popping into his head. He ran to the kitchen and took out some of the *rice* Kaoru had made for breakfast. Sticking some in between his fingers, he pressed it gently. He snickered. Perfect, it worked just like household glue.
Washing his hands quickly, he took a great glob of it and firmly pressed it onto his nose. "He he", he said evilly, "let's see if Mr. Zit can get through that!".
Now, since all of you tourists have been so punctual with your reviews, you'll get an added bonus :to see through the eyes of Mr. Zit! (oooh!!)
*In Mr. Zit's point of view*
So there I was, lounging on the spiky kid's nose, sipping some sake and belching loudly. Ah, how much fun ruining kid's lives is. I just take my time, biding in with the good stuff, and STRIKE! I attack the kid, and, vuala, embarrassment central had landed on your nose!
But, seriously, can't kid's appreciate me more? I mean, I *am* after all, a sign of puberty and a kid's growth into a man! But will they ever listen? Noooo! Will they ever give up trying to kill me? Noooo! I'm so under appreciated in this world! After this kid, I think I'll take a break and go to America. I heard Florida is a great vacation spot to meet all the lady zits!
Drinking some more, I belch loudly again, rubbing my greasy oily tummy. I suddenly notice something funny and white coming towards me. Taking off my shades, I get off my chair and wave my arms at it, screaming, "NOOOOOOO!".
But alas, the ugly white stuff goozes it's way down into my soul.
"AAAAARGH!", I scream, trying to entangle myself from the gooey mess.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", I scream.
*back to the tour*
"MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!", Yahiko screamed. See if the ugly moldy greasy dot on his nose could handle that! BUWAHAHAHAHA!!!
After a few hours, Yahiko (with much effort) pulled the gooey rice of his nose and inspected it in the well. It was gone. But Yahiko still screamed. Next to the spot where the big zit had been, there were FOUR OTHER ZITS!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!", he screamed.
Aiji walked to Yahiko and noticed him screaming.
"That zit left company!", Yahiko wailed, pointing to his nose.
Aiji stared, then began laughing.
"This is serious!", he yelled. "I'm supposed to meet Tsubame at the Akabeko today! What will she say when I show her *this?!*", Yahiko wailed, pointing to his nose.
Aiji stopped laughing. "This is serious", he mumbled.
"Yeah, no duh!".
"C'mon", Aiji said, putting an arm round Yahiko's shoulders and walking him. "We've got to see a professional".
*at the hospital*
Megumi leaned down to inspect another patient. When she was done treating him, she looked up, surprised, to see Yahiko and a young boy she had treated a few months ago due to uncontrollable acne.
"Hello Aiji!", she said in a fake cheery voice. Yahiko was never good news.
"Miss Megumi, Yahiko has acne".
Megumi blinked, then turned to look at Yahiko's nose. She shrunk back, appalled.
"Ewwwwwww", she said, pointing at his nose.
Yahiko glared and covered his nose with his hands.
"He needs some of that acne cream you gave me".
Megumi put a finger to her chin. "All right!", she said happily. "But you won't be able to get it for a month!".
"WHAAAAT?!", Yahiko screamed.
"Well, you see", Megumi said in a happy-go-lucky voice, "it takes two weeks for the tea leaves to mature, and ten days for the marshmallow to settle, and then six other days for it all to melt an become a gooey, slippery mass of acne cream!".
Yahiko could've died at the spot. In fact, he almost did.
"I'm...choking!", he yelled, putting his arms around his neck, "I'm gonna die...need acne...cream...".
Megumi laughed, "BUWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!".
Aiji looked at her uncomfortably.
Yahiko stopped choking himself and pretending someone else was choking him, and decided that he had come to desperate measures. "Please!", he begged. "There has to be *some* way of speeding up the process!".
Megumi had long fangs protruding from her mouth. "No! MUWHAHAHAH!".
Yahiko had a mere glimpse of Megumi's long fangs being covered in dark red blood, dripping, and wearing a demon outfit, red cape and triton and all. Lightning flashed around her evil face, and she laughed again, like the evil person she was.
Yahiko fainted.
Right. Okay, that was strange, was it not? Let's go back to the evil demon's- I mean- Miss. Megumi's home, where Sano is sleeping.
Megumi walked into her huge pretty mansion, grinning happily for making another person's life horrible. Looking down, she saw filthy ole Sano sleeping like a baby. Rolling her eyes, she promptly kicked him with the sharp pointy and high heels of her blood red shoes.
"OWWWWWWW!", Sanoske screamed.
"Get up, Sano. You have to make dinner", she said promptly.
"This early?", he mumbled, rubbing his thighs.
"Yes", she said sharply. "I like eating dinner early".
Muttering angrily under his breath and cursing heavily, Sanoske got up and went to the kitchen. He went to go open the big shiny pearly door to the heavenly kitchen, but he walked straight into it.
"OII!!", he screamed, and began kicking and punching the door. "YOU STUPID DOOR! HOW DARE YOU HIT ME?!". But then the door just swung back and hit him firmly in the nose. Sano clenched and unclenched his fists. "Oh, so that's how it's gonna be?!", he roared, and began punching the door again and again, but it continued hitting him back, till Sano was on the floor, beat and worn out.
Megumi sighed. 'Dumb Sano', she thought affectionately. Then she slapped her forehead. She must be tired to be thinking of Sano is a *humanly* manner. Wiping her forehead, she went upstairs on the beautiful glass staircase to her big bedroom with pretty curtains.
Meanwhile, Sano got up and began to *ahem* cook. "Let's see, we need a tablespoon of salt, a lub of rice...what's a lub? Oh well, better put in as much as possible". He took the entire sack of rice and dropped it into the bowl. "Then, it says to add nine cups of water...where do I get water? Oh well, I think I can skip that. Okay, then we cook it over the fire. What fire? Guess I'll have to make one".
He took out two twigs and began scratching it furiously.
*two hours later, Sano's done with his so-called cooking*
Sano touched the gloppy substance that he actually dared to call rice. He slowly turned the huge bowl over to drop it into two separate bowls. He blinked. It was stuck. "Hn, musta put too many lubs of baking soda", he said offhandedly. He took a wooden spoon and stuck it into the stuff, trying to pull some out. He tugged harder. Harder. Sweatdropping, he held onto the spoon with both hands and held the bowl down with his feet, pulling harder. "Come...OUT!", he yelled.
Scratching his head, he shrugged simply and took the bowl with the wooden spoon and brought it to the dinner table.
Megumi looked up and sniffed disgustedly. 'Ugh, he burned the rice', she thought.
Sano came in, smiling profusely, proud of his quote on quote 'work'.
"Alright!", he said happily, rubbing his hands together with happiness. "Dig in!", he yelled.
Megumi looked at the gloopy substance in her bowl. It was an blue, a color which rice is definitely not intended to be. Sano had somehow been able to separate the junk.
"So, what do you think?", Sano bubbled, digging in miraculously without the impulse to throw-up.
Megumi, as evil as she may be, couldn't have the heart to break that smile. "Uh...it's...new", she said unsurely.
When Sano was digging in, she threw hers to the plant, which, sadly, died choking a few seconds later.
Megumi looked, afraid, at the plant. 'That's 20 more yen', she thought.
Gasp! Megumi actually has a heart! Well, okay, the 20 more yen sorta destroyed that establishment, but anyways...Well, now we're going to go see an old broom we all know and *ahem* love!
*...somewhere...*
Chuu breathed raggedly. He escaped the jail. Goodies. Now all he had to do is catch rooster-head, stay outta Shishio's way, and roast the rooster. Chuu suddenly got a strange smile on his face. "Roast the rooster", he said gleefully. "I like that!". "Roast the rooster! Roast the rooster! Roast the rooster!".
*in that same somewhere, an hour later*
"ROAAAAAAAAAAAST!", Chuu yelled, his arms spread apart, bowing down with his accent dancers, "THEEEEEEEEEEEEE!", (in deep sopranos), "ROOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSTTTTEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". He bowed on his knees, accepting the red roses being thrown at him.
Ahem. Okay. So, anyways, lovely Chuu the sword collector set on his way to find Sano and roast him!
*an hour later at Megumi's*
(Knock knock).
"Get that Sano", Megumi said on instinct.
Sano walked to the door and opened it. He looked at the figure with the hair like a blonde broom. He gritted his teeth. "You", he snarled.
Chuu smiled smugly. "Me".
Sano punched his fist. "So you want to finish up our fight, eh?".
Chuu grinned, "Only if you still got the guts to challenge me".
Megumi came in. "Sano, who's this?".
Chuu blinked at her. She was so...so...beautiful!!! Hearts appeared in his eyes.
Megumi blinked. "Oh, I get it! You brought another slave for me!".
"What?", Sano asked, distracted. "No...no, just an old *friend*".
"Well, c'mon in, my new slave!", Megumi said happily.
Chuu followed her, like a robot.
Sano turned around, surprised. Chuu was actually listening to her?
Inside, Megumi immediately went down to business. "Okay, Chuu, you go mop the right side of the floor, Sano, you mop the left!". Clasping her hands together in joy, she went back upstairs to her bedroom.
*two hours later, Sano and Chuu have cleaned the floor and are now in the middle, done with their portions*.
"I'll clean the middle", Chuu said sweetly.
"No, that's alright, I'll do that", Sano replied.
"I'll do it!", Chuu snarled.
"I will!", Sano yelled.
"She wants *me* to do it!", Chuu roared.
"ME!".
"ME!".
"ME!".
"ME!".
Sano glowered angrily. "I was here first", he sneered.
"So were the Indians, look what happened to them!".
Both blinked, thinking momentarily on who the heck were the Indians.
"Plus", Chuu leered, "she enjoys bossing *me* around more!".
"What?!", Sano yelled angrily. "That's a downright lie! She likes bossing me MORE!".
Chuu snickered. "No it's not. I can tell- she enjoys bossing me more".
"ME!".
"ME!".
"ME!"
"ME!".
"MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!".
We'll leave now, shall we? This is quite embarrassing. Anyways, it's about time that Yahiko goes to meet Tsubame!
*at the Akabeko*
Yahiko breathed. He couldn't keep hiding from her any longer. If she really liked him, she wouldn't care about the zits! Right?
Yahiko covered his nose with a loincloth and walked into the store where Tsubame had just finished washing the dishes.
"Oh, Yahiko! I didn't think you'd make it! I thought you forgot", she said, giggling sweetly.
"Sorry for keeping you waiting", Yahiko mumbled through the loincloth.
"It's aright. What's that on your nose?".
"Uh- it's a cloth", Yahiko said slowly.
"I can tell. What for?".
"Um".
"What um?".
"Well, you see".
"No I don't".
"Okay- well, I- sorta- I".
"Yahiko tell me!".
"I-I", he stuttered. 'Okay, Yahiko, just tell her. What's the worst that can happen?'. Determinedly not thinking about that, he said firmly, "I have------". He couldn't say it.
"Argh! If you don't tell me Yahiko I'll pull off that loincloth myself!".
People in the restaurant glanced at the kitchen door awkwardly.
"I-I- I have z-Argh! Tsubame no!".
For she had just pulled it off and was staring at his nose in surprise.
"Ewwwwww!", she exclaimed, pointing to his nose.
Yahiko breathed, blushing. "I suppose you hate me now", he mumbled.
Tsubame softened. "No, Yahiko!".
"What?".
"Sure your zits are- er- appalling, but I like you because of who you are, Yahiko!".
Yahiko blushed when Tsubame hugged him.
Everybody said "Aww".
"So- so you don't hate me?", he asked, awkwardly hugging her back.
"No! Now let's take a walk!".
Yahiko smiled. "Okay!".
And they left the Akabeko amidst cheering.
When they were outside, Tsubame asked Yahiko, "Eh, Yahiko?",
"Yeah?".
"Your zits aren't* contagious* are they?".
"...no...", he replied, though he honestly didn't know, but prayed they weren't.
"Oh, good", she replied, relieved.
*back at the dojo*
Kenshin scrubbed the laundry meticulously. Scrubbing laundry was fun. It made him feel peaceful and happyful and reminded him of the best day of his life, when he first discovered magenta!
He sat up abruptly when he heard footsteps. His ears perked, and he looked up, alert. A tall figure with a huge red and white cape billowing in the wind walked up to him. He fell over.
"Master?", he asked, awed.
"Hello Kenshin".
"Master? Why are you here?".
"That's the greeting I get from my stupid old apprentice, is it? You act like if I come it means bad news".
"Well, actually", Kenshin said slowly, thinking of what his master did to him.
"Well. Anyways, I decided I should tell you that you are a stupid person who is full of himself and selfish and needs a life and has no heart whatsoever".
Kenshin sweatdropped. " Oro? *That's* why you came here?", he asked.
"Yep".
"Master, you are very strange".
"I'm not the one washing laundry like a maid".
Kenshin glared. "HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY LAUNDRY?!".
Hiko just rolled his eyes. "What a goof", he muttered.
"MY LAUNDRY! STAY AWAY FROM MY LAUNDRY, AND YOU WILL NOT BE HURT!".
"Baka".
"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT- YOU- YOU...NAME-CALLER!".
"Baka baka baka! baka baka baka! Kenshin is a baka!", Hiko yelled.
"You- you! I never liked you!", Kenshin yelled.
"Baka baka baka!".
"You were so mean to me- and your training was worse than Yahiko's zits, and you are so selfish and you have no heart and you are mean and cruel and unkind and anti-social- and- and I LIKED THE NAME SHINTA!".
Hiko stuck his tongue out and made a face. "Shinta's a lame name, boring, like you!".
Kenshin gasped. "HOW- HOW- *DARE* YOU?!".
Kaoru came in happily, bringing in her newest creation! A cake!
"Who wants cake?", she asked happily, showing it to the two men. They turned around slowly and looked at the cake.
It was an unearthly gray, moldy and covered in a strange yellow cream that looked strangely toxic. Kaoru was smiling like she had just created a masterpiece.
"EWWW!", the two men cried.
Kaoru glared, and got ready for action-
SMACK!
The two men gagged when the cake slapped their faces. They bent down, scratching it off their faces, screaming in indescribable agony.
"Hmph", Kaoru hmphed, and walked way, apparently pleased. But what a waste of cake.
Yahiko and Tsubame were turning the corner when they saw Kaoru throw the cake at Kenshin and Hiko.
"HAHAHAHAHA!", he yelled, pointing at them, laughing like a maniac.
The two of them looked at Yahiko angrily, and reading each other's mind, scraped the cake off their faces and-
WHAM!
"AARGH! Get it off me!", Yahiko cried.
Tsubame laughed.
"I'm serious! ARGH! KENSHIN! TALL GUY! I'm gonna KILL you two!".
And he began throwing the cake at them, them ducking and failing miserably at dodging the cake.
"RABID CAKE ON THE LOOSE!", Tsubame cried.
"NOOOOOOOOOO! Get! It! Off! ME!".
Yahiko pulled a huge glump off his nose, but didn't feel the familiar feel of four bumps. "Wha- OH MY GOSH! THE UGLY OILY ZITS WITH UGLY OILY TEETH AND UGLY OILY STOMACHS ARE GONE! KAORU FINALLY MADE SOMETIHNG WORTH MY BREATH- ANTI-ACNE CREAM!".
And he did a jig in delight, praising Kaoru's horrible cooking, before getting splashed on the butt with cake.
Well, that's it for today! Remember, only one review is needed for pay! Send me ideas! Buh-bye now!
oro: Kenshin's way of showing profound surprise
bokken: wooden swords used in training
baka: idiot!
1/ Wow. Those reviews came in fast! Anyways, thankies for every single one of them!
2/ Notes: I know it looks like I hate Megumi. But I don't. I just find some parts of her personality to be annoying, plus seeing Sano being tortured is fun, and the only one to do the job would be Megumi. Plus, seeing Megumi evil is actually quite fun to write. Infact, I'm a happy-go- lucky Sano/Megumi fan. Yeah, dat's right.
3/ I need ideas, ya'll. Even though my (coughcough) superior intellect is just rumbling with ideas, even I, the great authoressy, can run out of ideas. Just...make sure the ideas are all rated G. You know? And, just so ya'll know, if I get a lot of them, I won't use all of them.
4/ The chapters may not come in very fast, so be patient. I've got like five other stories breathing down my neck. This chapter isn't that funny, actually.
5/ No offense to anyone named Shinta. You'll see why later. Infact, I think it's a sweet name, but Hiko obviously didn't think so...
6/ I know I suck at Japanese, so thanks to everybody who gave me the right definitions!
Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is owned by some rich guy. I ain't some rich guy.
Kenshin Meets Magenta
Chapter 3: Oily sake-drinking zits, Roasting Roosters, and Lame Names
Hello, welcome back! Let's sight-see some more of the lives of Rurouni Kenshin! It's the next day, and lil ole Yahiko has decided to *gasp* actually wake up *early* to practice some strokes!
Yahiko yawned, feeling the rising sun's rays beat down on his face. Rubbing his nose carelessly, he froze when he felt a slight bump on it. Rubbing it half-heartedly, he shrugged and figured it was a mere figment of his imagination. In fact, it was quite fun rubbing the bump, it made a lot of squeaky musical notes. Yahiko rubbed it to a tune only he could hear, and began dancing to the tune of the bump on his nose! Then he began strokes, the squeaky bumpy tune still in his head.
After a few hundred strokes, Yahiko, proud of himself, walked carelessly back into the dojo, where he intended to surprise Kaoru, who should've been waking up just now.
"YAHIKO GET UP RIGHT NOW!", she yelled on instinct, and began trying to *ahem* cook breakfast.
Yahiko, smiling ruefully, walked behind Kaoru slowly, tip-toeing as quiet as a mouse. He was about to scream, 'boo!', when Kaoru said, "I know you're behind me, Yahiko".
Yahiko sweatdropped.
"Now go get a bucket of water for breakfast", she demanded.
Muttering curses under his breath, Yahiko walked to the well and pulled up the bucket with ease, still muttering. Looking down at his reflection in the water, he screamed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".
Everybody rushed to the scene, asking his repeatedly what he saw. Yahiko continued stuttering, just staring at the pail of water, trembling, pointing a finger at the reflection in absolute fear.
Kaoru peered down, and began laughing her head off. "BUWAHAHAHAHA!!!", she cried. "Guess what, everybody? Yahiko's got a ZIT! A huge UGLY zit, right on his nose!".
Everybody looked at each other for a few awkward moments.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!".
"Hey everybody it isn't funny!", Yahiko yelled angrily.
"You're right", Misao said. "It's beyond funny! It's hilarious!".
And everybody began laughing maliciously like evil evil demons again.
Yahiko glared at everybody, then began yelling, jumping up and down furiously,. "People this isn't funny! I've got a zit on my face that looks like a giant gumball of Kaoru's cooking!".
But that just made everyone laugh harder.
"AAARGH!", Yahiko screamed. "This isn't funny you guys! What if Tsubame sees me like this?!".
Everybody paused for a bit. Then they began laughing like crazed maniacs (oh wait that's right, they *are* crazed maniacs!).
"UGH! I'm serious you guys!".
Kaoru bent down and grabbed his cheek in one hand and began pulling it, laughing. "Is our wittle Yahiko growing all up?", she asked in a cutchy- coo tone.
"ARGH! Get your hands off my face! And quit saying that!", he yelled, wrenching himself free from Kaoru's grasp.
And this endured on for a fair number of hours.
After everyone finally left, Yahiko glared down at the bucket of water.
It had oily evil little eyes and sharp oily evil teeth with oily-to- be evil minions ready to pop out! Oh, the horror!
Yahiko snarled. Maybe he could scare it away.
"Ragh! I'm mad!", he yelled, trying to get it to come off.
"I'm REALLY mad! And when I'm mad, no ugly zits had better be there to get in my way!". He punched in his fist. "Cause then I'm just gonna have to beat them to a bloody -yet oily- pulp!".
The zit stuck out it's tongue at him. Yahiko sweatdropped.
"RAAAAAAAAGH! RAGH! ARAGH! ROAR!", he yelled, punching his chest like Tarzan, trying to act like a vicious lion.
A little girl and her mother were passing by and saw Yahiko. "Look mommy, it's a zoo! Can I pet the ugly lion?", she asked.
"Not now, sweetums", the mother said politely.
Yahiko heard and spun around angrily, "Hey watch who you call ugly! C'mon! Face me!".
The mother and child quickly walked past him.
"Argh! C'mere!".
He glared back at his reflection.. "This is all your fault!", he yelled at the zit. He splashed his reflection angrily.
The zit didn't go away. It cackled merrily, baring its red long fangs coated in blood, and its evil yellow eyes widened in laughter, and it's skin was an *ugly* puce! It looked at Yahiko determinedly, and said happily, "See? Now Tsubame will *never* like you! You're too ugly!".
"ARGH! Shaddup!", he yelled, pinching it.
"OW!", it yelled. "Well, too bad", it said, smiling maliciously, "You can't get rid of me! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!".
"Wanna bet?!", Yahiko asked, and quickly ran to the dojo, with a sudden idea.
Yahiko ran to a box and pulled out a huge ice cube. "HA! Try to beat this, ugly!". And he pressed it to his nose.
*one hour later*
Yahiko peeled the ice cube, which, miraculously, didn't melt, and looked back at his reflection. He yelped. Now it was even bigger, and it was *pink!*.
"NOO! Now it'll stick out more, the great ugly freakish pink thing!", he moaned.
Punching his nose over and over again, just to make it feel pain, he moped around the dojo, sneezing often, then cursing his head off at someone named Mr.Zit.
Yahiko suddenly snapped his fingers, an idea popping into his head. He ran to the kitchen and took out some of the *rice* Kaoru had made for breakfast. Sticking some in between his fingers, he pressed it gently. He snickered. Perfect, it worked just like household glue.
Washing his hands quickly, he took a great glob of it and firmly pressed it onto his nose. "He he", he said evilly, "let's see if Mr. Zit can get through that!".
Now, since all of you tourists have been so punctual with your reviews, you'll get an added bonus :to see through the eyes of Mr. Zit! (oooh!!)
*In Mr. Zit's point of view*
So there I was, lounging on the spiky kid's nose, sipping some sake and belching loudly. Ah, how much fun ruining kid's lives is. I just take my time, biding in with the good stuff, and STRIKE! I attack the kid, and, vuala, embarrassment central had landed on your nose!
But, seriously, can't kid's appreciate me more? I mean, I *am* after all, a sign of puberty and a kid's growth into a man! But will they ever listen? Noooo! Will they ever give up trying to kill me? Noooo! I'm so under appreciated in this world! After this kid, I think I'll take a break and go to America. I heard Florida is a great vacation spot to meet all the lady zits!
Drinking some more, I belch loudly again, rubbing my greasy oily tummy. I suddenly notice something funny and white coming towards me. Taking off my shades, I get off my chair and wave my arms at it, screaming, "NOOOOOOO!".
But alas, the ugly white stuff goozes it's way down into my soul.
"AAAAARGH!", I scream, trying to entangle myself from the gooey mess.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", I scream.
*back to the tour*
"MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!", Yahiko screamed. See if the ugly moldy greasy dot on his nose could handle that! BUWAHAHAHAHA!!!
After a few hours, Yahiko (with much effort) pulled the gooey rice of his nose and inspected it in the well. It was gone. But Yahiko still screamed. Next to the spot where the big zit had been, there were FOUR OTHER ZITS!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!", he screamed.
Aiji walked to Yahiko and noticed him screaming.
"That zit left company!", Yahiko wailed, pointing to his nose.
Aiji stared, then began laughing.
"This is serious!", he yelled. "I'm supposed to meet Tsubame at the Akabeko today! What will she say when I show her *this?!*", Yahiko wailed, pointing to his nose.
Aiji stopped laughing. "This is serious", he mumbled.
"Yeah, no duh!".
"C'mon", Aiji said, putting an arm round Yahiko's shoulders and walking him. "We've got to see a professional".
*at the hospital*
Megumi leaned down to inspect another patient. When she was done treating him, she looked up, surprised, to see Yahiko and a young boy she had treated a few months ago due to uncontrollable acne.
"Hello Aiji!", she said in a fake cheery voice. Yahiko was never good news.
"Miss Megumi, Yahiko has acne".
Megumi blinked, then turned to look at Yahiko's nose. She shrunk back, appalled.
"Ewwwwwww", she said, pointing at his nose.
Yahiko glared and covered his nose with his hands.
"He needs some of that acne cream you gave me".
Megumi put a finger to her chin. "All right!", she said happily. "But you won't be able to get it for a month!".
"WHAAAAT?!", Yahiko screamed.
"Well, you see", Megumi said in a happy-go-lucky voice, "it takes two weeks for the tea leaves to mature, and ten days for the marshmallow to settle, and then six other days for it all to melt an become a gooey, slippery mass of acne cream!".
Yahiko could've died at the spot. In fact, he almost did.
"I'm...choking!", he yelled, putting his arms around his neck, "I'm gonna die...need acne...cream...".
Megumi laughed, "BUWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!".
Aiji looked at her uncomfortably.
Yahiko stopped choking himself and pretending someone else was choking him, and decided that he had come to desperate measures. "Please!", he begged. "There has to be *some* way of speeding up the process!".
Megumi had long fangs protruding from her mouth. "No! MUWHAHAHAH!".
Yahiko had a mere glimpse of Megumi's long fangs being covered in dark red blood, dripping, and wearing a demon outfit, red cape and triton and all. Lightning flashed around her evil face, and she laughed again, like the evil person she was.
Yahiko fainted.
Right. Okay, that was strange, was it not? Let's go back to the evil demon's- I mean- Miss. Megumi's home, where Sano is sleeping.
Megumi walked into her huge pretty mansion, grinning happily for making another person's life horrible. Looking down, she saw filthy ole Sano sleeping like a baby. Rolling her eyes, she promptly kicked him with the sharp pointy and high heels of her blood red shoes.
"OWWWWWWW!", Sanoske screamed.
"Get up, Sano. You have to make dinner", she said promptly.
"This early?", he mumbled, rubbing his thighs.
"Yes", she said sharply. "I like eating dinner early".
Muttering angrily under his breath and cursing heavily, Sanoske got up and went to the kitchen. He went to go open the big shiny pearly door to the heavenly kitchen, but he walked straight into it.
"OII!!", he screamed, and began kicking and punching the door. "YOU STUPID DOOR! HOW DARE YOU HIT ME?!". But then the door just swung back and hit him firmly in the nose. Sano clenched and unclenched his fists. "Oh, so that's how it's gonna be?!", he roared, and began punching the door again and again, but it continued hitting him back, till Sano was on the floor, beat and worn out.
Megumi sighed. 'Dumb Sano', she thought affectionately. Then she slapped her forehead. She must be tired to be thinking of Sano is a *humanly* manner. Wiping her forehead, she went upstairs on the beautiful glass staircase to her big bedroom with pretty curtains.
Meanwhile, Sano got up and began to *ahem* cook. "Let's see, we need a tablespoon of salt, a lub of rice...what's a lub? Oh well, better put in as much as possible". He took the entire sack of rice and dropped it into the bowl. "Then, it says to add nine cups of water...where do I get water? Oh well, I think I can skip that. Okay, then we cook it over the fire. What fire? Guess I'll have to make one".
He took out two twigs and began scratching it furiously.
*two hours later, Sano's done with his so-called cooking*
Sano touched the gloppy substance that he actually dared to call rice. He slowly turned the huge bowl over to drop it into two separate bowls. He blinked. It was stuck. "Hn, musta put too many lubs of baking soda", he said offhandedly. He took a wooden spoon and stuck it into the stuff, trying to pull some out. He tugged harder. Harder. Sweatdropping, he held onto the spoon with both hands and held the bowl down with his feet, pulling harder. "Come...OUT!", he yelled.
Scratching his head, he shrugged simply and took the bowl with the wooden spoon and brought it to the dinner table.
Megumi looked up and sniffed disgustedly. 'Ugh, he burned the rice', she thought.
Sano came in, smiling profusely, proud of his quote on quote 'work'.
"Alright!", he said happily, rubbing his hands together with happiness. "Dig in!", he yelled.
Megumi looked at the gloopy substance in her bowl. It was an blue, a color which rice is definitely not intended to be. Sano had somehow been able to separate the junk.
"So, what do you think?", Sano bubbled, digging in miraculously without the impulse to throw-up.
Megumi, as evil as she may be, couldn't have the heart to break that smile. "Uh...it's...new", she said unsurely.
When Sano was digging in, she threw hers to the plant, which, sadly, died choking a few seconds later.
Megumi looked, afraid, at the plant. 'That's 20 more yen', she thought.
Gasp! Megumi actually has a heart! Well, okay, the 20 more yen sorta destroyed that establishment, but anyways...Well, now we're going to go see an old broom we all know and *ahem* love!
*...somewhere...*
Chuu breathed raggedly. He escaped the jail. Goodies. Now all he had to do is catch rooster-head, stay outta Shishio's way, and roast the rooster. Chuu suddenly got a strange smile on his face. "Roast the rooster", he said gleefully. "I like that!". "Roast the rooster! Roast the rooster! Roast the rooster!".
*in that same somewhere, an hour later*
"ROAAAAAAAAAAAST!", Chuu yelled, his arms spread apart, bowing down with his accent dancers, "THEEEEEEEEEEEEE!", (in deep sopranos), "ROOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSTTTTEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". He bowed on his knees, accepting the red roses being thrown at him.
Ahem. Okay. So, anyways, lovely Chuu the sword collector set on his way to find Sano and roast him!
*an hour later at Megumi's*
(Knock knock).
"Get that Sano", Megumi said on instinct.
Sano walked to the door and opened it. He looked at the figure with the hair like a blonde broom. He gritted his teeth. "You", he snarled.
Chuu smiled smugly. "Me".
Sano punched his fist. "So you want to finish up our fight, eh?".
Chuu grinned, "Only if you still got the guts to challenge me".
Megumi came in. "Sano, who's this?".
Chuu blinked at her. She was so...so...beautiful!!! Hearts appeared in his eyes.
Megumi blinked. "Oh, I get it! You brought another slave for me!".
"What?", Sano asked, distracted. "No...no, just an old *friend*".
"Well, c'mon in, my new slave!", Megumi said happily.
Chuu followed her, like a robot.
Sano turned around, surprised. Chuu was actually listening to her?
Inside, Megumi immediately went down to business. "Okay, Chuu, you go mop the right side of the floor, Sano, you mop the left!". Clasping her hands together in joy, she went back upstairs to her bedroom.
*two hours later, Sano and Chuu have cleaned the floor and are now in the middle, done with their portions*.
"I'll clean the middle", Chuu said sweetly.
"No, that's alright, I'll do that", Sano replied.
"I'll do it!", Chuu snarled.
"I will!", Sano yelled.
"She wants *me* to do it!", Chuu roared.
"ME!".
"ME!".
"ME!".
"ME!".
Sano glowered angrily. "I was here first", he sneered.
"So were the Indians, look what happened to them!".
Both blinked, thinking momentarily on who the heck were the Indians.
"Plus", Chuu leered, "she enjoys bossing *me* around more!".
"What?!", Sano yelled angrily. "That's a downright lie! She likes bossing me MORE!".
Chuu snickered. "No it's not. I can tell- she enjoys bossing me more".
"ME!".
"ME!".
"ME!"
"ME!".
"MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!".
We'll leave now, shall we? This is quite embarrassing. Anyways, it's about time that Yahiko goes to meet Tsubame!
*at the Akabeko*
Yahiko breathed. He couldn't keep hiding from her any longer. If she really liked him, she wouldn't care about the zits! Right?
Yahiko covered his nose with a loincloth and walked into the store where Tsubame had just finished washing the dishes.
"Oh, Yahiko! I didn't think you'd make it! I thought you forgot", she said, giggling sweetly.
"Sorry for keeping you waiting", Yahiko mumbled through the loincloth.
"It's aright. What's that on your nose?".
"Uh- it's a cloth", Yahiko said slowly.
"I can tell. What for?".
"Um".
"What um?".
"Well, you see".
"No I don't".
"Okay- well, I- sorta- I".
"Yahiko tell me!".
"I-I", he stuttered. 'Okay, Yahiko, just tell her. What's the worst that can happen?'. Determinedly not thinking about that, he said firmly, "I have------". He couldn't say it.
"Argh! If you don't tell me Yahiko I'll pull off that loincloth myself!".
People in the restaurant glanced at the kitchen door awkwardly.
"I-I- I have z-Argh! Tsubame no!".
For she had just pulled it off and was staring at his nose in surprise.
"Ewwwwww!", she exclaimed, pointing to his nose.
Yahiko breathed, blushing. "I suppose you hate me now", he mumbled.
Tsubame softened. "No, Yahiko!".
"What?".
"Sure your zits are- er- appalling, but I like you because of who you are, Yahiko!".
Yahiko blushed when Tsubame hugged him.
Everybody said "Aww".
"So- so you don't hate me?", he asked, awkwardly hugging her back.
"No! Now let's take a walk!".
Yahiko smiled. "Okay!".
And they left the Akabeko amidst cheering.
When they were outside, Tsubame asked Yahiko, "Eh, Yahiko?",
"Yeah?".
"Your zits aren't* contagious* are they?".
"...no...", he replied, though he honestly didn't know, but prayed they weren't.
"Oh, good", she replied, relieved.
*back at the dojo*
Kenshin scrubbed the laundry meticulously. Scrubbing laundry was fun. It made him feel peaceful and happyful and reminded him of the best day of his life, when he first discovered magenta!
He sat up abruptly when he heard footsteps. His ears perked, and he looked up, alert. A tall figure with a huge red and white cape billowing in the wind walked up to him. He fell over.
"Master?", he asked, awed.
"Hello Kenshin".
"Master? Why are you here?".
"That's the greeting I get from my stupid old apprentice, is it? You act like if I come it means bad news".
"Well, actually", Kenshin said slowly, thinking of what his master did to him.
"Well. Anyways, I decided I should tell you that you are a stupid person who is full of himself and selfish and needs a life and has no heart whatsoever".
Kenshin sweatdropped. " Oro? *That's* why you came here?", he asked.
"Yep".
"Master, you are very strange".
"I'm not the one washing laundry like a maid".
Kenshin glared. "HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY LAUNDRY?!".
Hiko just rolled his eyes. "What a goof", he muttered.
"MY LAUNDRY! STAY AWAY FROM MY LAUNDRY, AND YOU WILL NOT BE HURT!".
"Baka".
"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT- YOU- YOU...NAME-CALLER!".
"Baka baka baka! baka baka baka! Kenshin is a baka!", Hiko yelled.
"You- you! I never liked you!", Kenshin yelled.
"Baka baka baka!".
"You were so mean to me- and your training was worse than Yahiko's zits, and you are so selfish and you have no heart and you are mean and cruel and unkind and anti-social- and- and I LIKED THE NAME SHINTA!".
Hiko stuck his tongue out and made a face. "Shinta's a lame name, boring, like you!".
Kenshin gasped. "HOW- HOW- *DARE* YOU?!".
Kaoru came in happily, bringing in her newest creation! A cake!
"Who wants cake?", she asked happily, showing it to the two men. They turned around slowly and looked at the cake.
It was an unearthly gray, moldy and covered in a strange yellow cream that looked strangely toxic. Kaoru was smiling like she had just created a masterpiece.
"EWWW!", the two men cried.
Kaoru glared, and got ready for action-
SMACK!
The two men gagged when the cake slapped their faces. They bent down, scratching it off their faces, screaming in indescribable agony.
"Hmph", Kaoru hmphed, and walked way, apparently pleased. But what a waste of cake.
Yahiko and Tsubame were turning the corner when they saw Kaoru throw the cake at Kenshin and Hiko.
"HAHAHAHAHA!", he yelled, pointing at them, laughing like a maniac.
The two of them looked at Yahiko angrily, and reading each other's mind, scraped the cake off their faces and-
WHAM!
"AARGH! Get it off me!", Yahiko cried.
Tsubame laughed.
"I'm serious! ARGH! KENSHIN! TALL GUY! I'm gonna KILL you two!".
And he began throwing the cake at them, them ducking and failing miserably at dodging the cake.
"RABID CAKE ON THE LOOSE!", Tsubame cried.
"NOOOOOOOOOO! Get! It! Off! ME!".
Yahiko pulled a huge glump off his nose, but didn't feel the familiar feel of four bumps. "Wha- OH MY GOSH! THE UGLY OILY ZITS WITH UGLY OILY TEETH AND UGLY OILY STOMACHS ARE GONE! KAORU FINALLY MADE SOMETIHNG WORTH MY BREATH- ANTI-ACNE CREAM!".
And he did a jig in delight, praising Kaoru's horrible cooking, before getting splashed on the butt with cake.
Well, that's it for today! Remember, only one review is needed for pay! Send me ideas! Buh-bye now!
oro: Kenshin's way of showing profound surprise
bokken: wooden swords used in training
baka: idiot!