Chapter 17

Quite Moments

Karst shut the door firmly behind herself, slamming back the storm as it reached into the house. She stood there a moment leaning against the thick wood, until her knees gave out and she slid down to the floor. Karst wrapped her arms around herself and buried her face in her arms.

'Nothing I don't deserve...' It was a bitter realization, but regardless it was true. 'Illusions or not, I've never been that good a friend to him. Why should he even think that friendship is left?'

Karst looked around the small home from where she sat on the floor. She and Menardi had never been very tidy…

She saw the curtains that were faded, they hadn't been dusted in years, and cobwebs were gathering grey in the corners. The few rugs thrown across the floor were in dire need of beating, some were worn threw in places. The large table was often tidy, a melted stub of a candle in the center, nothing else though, no pictures or memorabilia. The walls were barren, the only mirrors in her room and the spare, the one that had belonged to her parents before they'd died.

The floors needed sweeping as well she realized. Karst sat there a moment more, slowly noticing that she wasn't crying any more. She had been, but the flow had stopped soon after.

It was like she just didn't have anymore tears...

"Sh-she was here?" Felix breathed; eyes wide as Piers gave him a questioning look.

"She must have been." He replied, "We must not have seen her come in, but she just appeared in the door-way and stormed out of the Inn without a word." Felix looked off to the side blankly, and Agatio spoke up,

"She looked like she was in pain." This brought the other man's attention back, and Agatio shifted slightly before nodding to Felix. "Like some one'd just given her a sharp slap in the face."

Felix ran one hand back through his hair and began pacing. She'd been there, she'd actually been there, and then she'd left? Why? That didn't make sense. Karst wasn't one too run from her problems; only on rare occasions was that her choice.

But still. She'd come to him. That had to mean something, in the smallest, most foolishly hopeful kind of way, but something none the less.

"What did you say, Felix?" Piers asked, the dark-haired Adept stopped pacing and shook his head.

"Nothing." he repeated, "I didn't know she was even here, and I doubt Jenna did either, she would have said something, or pulled away." Agatio's brow furrowed, and he paused a moment before addressing the other two again.

"Pulled away?"

It had become rather chilly, for some reason the fires wouldn't catch completely. A few smoldering embers was all Karst could currently manage in the small stove, that and a lot of smoke. All of which was sucked up the chimney without a second thought.

Her psynergy seemed a bit beyond her at the moment, but it didn't trouble her, her powers often fizzed out when she was tired, or distraught. After learning of Menardi's death, it had taken her well over a month before she could so much as light a candle.

A cup of tea was what she needed, or some warm ale, anything to help her relax a bit. Although Karst did prefer the idea of the tea over the alcohol, she wanted to calm her fraying nerves, not start down the road to being that pathetic old drunk.

After coaxing the fire for a while longer, the scent of smoke and the flicker of light eased the bleak feeling seeping into her soul. Karst was able to reach out, and, was just barely able to help the fires along… Help the fires help her...

"You, idiot!" Piers shouted, Agatio smacking himself on the forehead, before toppling backwards dramatically. Felix just stood there with his hands open in a pleading gesture, all but praying that the gods weren't going to be this cruel to him.

"Fool! Moron! Stupid!" Piers shouted, stepping forward and smacking the palm of his hand against his friend's forehead at the same time. Felix backed away from him with his arms up, trying to figure out what exactly he could do to fix this.

"What do I do?" He asked no one, feeling helpless for some reason.

"What do you mean, 'What do I do?'?!" Maria shrieked, startling the three men. The Proxian's eyes flared as Felix just stood there a moment, and she pointed up the stairs, eyes still locked on him.

"You go to her house, and you don't come back until you fix this mess!" She shouted, they all jumped and nodded at the same time.

"Some one up there is laughing right now," Agatio said flatly, lifting one hand and pointing straight up, "But you still have too do the right thing, and set things straight!"

She couldn't shake that empty feeling in her stomach, but nor could she take any heart in that smallest speck of hope still inside. They had been speaking so quietly... maybe... maybe there was a chance that...

Karst shook her head and closed the small door to the stove. She stood, moving numbly to the cup-boards, and taking the bronze kettle from its place. She pumped it full of cold water, before bringing it back, and placing the small container on the thin flat piece of metal, built into the top of the oven. It would take a while, but she didn't bother to put the whistle on, she had nothing better to do than wait for the steam tonight.

Karst moved to hang her cloak up on the wall, then went into her room to pull on a thicker sweater. Her movements were slightly numb, but she didn't care as she pulled the itchy wool over her head. She smoothed the rough cloth over herself, rubbing her arms slightly to warm them up.

When she came back to the main part of the house, she noticed the broom leaning against the shelf. She might as well clean. She'd been living in coma for the past year, she might be heart broken, but, she didn't need to be filthy...

As Karst maneuvered the broom around the chair-legs, her movements were only half-hearted, her mind still for the time being. Despite everything, she felt peaceful inside, like the calm before the storm. Everything made sense now; it was only a matter of time before reality came like a slap in the face.

She'd had a friend, a very good friend. They'd known each other for years, and had spent a lot of time together. Then he had gone away for a while, and then she'd seen him again. Her sister had died, and she'd almost killed him. Then he'd attacked her by accident, and she'd kind of died. Some where in there she'd fallen in love with him, and now she was here falling apart, and he was at the inn kissing some girl who wasn't her.

The broom clattered to the floor, as Karst felt her vision blurring again, those final thoughts were already cutting deeper than they should have been. She was shaking slightly as she stumbled back, one hand out behind her to grab the table as she nearly fell. Just like before, she slapped on hand over her mouth, and bit her tongue to keep from crying out. Her fingers met warmth as hot tears spilled down her face.

This was almost as bad as when she had thought him dead. Maybe this way he was happy, with that woman instead of her. But at least before she'd been able to fool herself into thinking she could speak with him again in the end. But now... Now he was too far beyond her reach.

Through her tears, Karst was able to see the large amounts of smoke spilling from the stove, meaning the fire had died again. She put her hands over her eyes, trying to wipe them away again for the time being. Things wouldn't look better in the morning. Or the next morning. Or the morning after that. But maybe, eventually things would improve, if she started working now. Maybe if she just stayed away from him for the rest of his visit, she could just get on with her whole, twisted, messed-up life. She let out one painful, shaking sob before she choked and swallowed the ones which tried to claw their way up her throat…

And there was a knock at the door…