Good Boys Don't
- Hurt -
By: Li'l Amethyst Angel
Summary: Ken gets lost in a memory and ends up hurting himself. Youji walks in on him and comforts him best he can.
Pairings: KenxYouji
Warnings: Self-injury, child abuse, swearing, shounen-ai and angst.
Regular POV
Huddled in the corner of his room like a scared child, Ken looked like Yuki when he first found him that fateful night. He was mumbling, what Youji then knew to be the "three rules". The incessant mumblings were beginning to slow and Ken's eyelids began to droop. Youji looked down at the teammate in his arms sadly. He looked like a lost little boy.
'How could I have never noticed?' Youji chastised himself mentally.
"I...tried. I tried so hard to be good." Ken's voice was child-like and tired. He didn't seem to realize what he was saying. He was still lost in a mirage of memories and confusion. "But daddy always got mad..."
A pained expression crossed the blonde's face. A moment later Ken curled more into Youji and fell into a deep sleep, thoroughly exhausted.
Youji frowned deeply, picking up the sleeping teen. He carried the brunette to his bed and placed him down gently, pulling the covers up to his chin. He stayed there for hours, just watching the troubled angel. That's what he looked like when he slept, an angel. Youji eventually moved from his spot at the end of Ken's bed and left his teammate to his dreams.
Youji spent the rest of the night in his room, thinking. Why didn't Ken tell anyone? Why couldn't Ken tell him? Youji liked to think that he was close to Ken, closer than any of the others. He valued Ken's friendship deeply and the two could always talk bout anything. There were no boundaries. Ken had even asked him about his beloved Asuka once. Youji thought he knew Ken very well, but he realized, after Ken's breakdown, how little he actually did know the energetic brunette. Ken rarely talked about his past, but Youji thought nothing of it, since none of Weiss liked to talk about their pain-filled pasts. Youji slept fitfully that night, worries of his teammate coursing through his mind.
The next morning Youji actually decided to get up when Omi knocked on his door. When he arrived downstairs Ken, Omi, and Aya were already sitting at the kitchen table. When he entered they all looked up and stared in shock. After a few minutes of astonished silence Youji, becoming increasingly annoyed, scowled at the others and plopped down in a chair at the table.
Omi, realizing their staring was insulting Youji, quickly looked back to the bowl of cereal in front of him.
"S-sorry, Youji-kun. We're just not used to seeing you up this early." Omi stuttered an apology.
Youji rolled his eyes, but gave a half smile to Omi. "Yeah. I'm not exactly a morning person. I just felt like gettin' up early today. Don't get used to it, though." Youji winked.
The rest of breakfast was uneventful. Aya stayed silent, reading his newspaper as usual, while Omi animatedly talked about whatever popped into his head. Ken was, also, silent, which Youji found rather odd. Ken would always join in Omi's conversations. Youji, also, noticed that Ken wouldn't look at him in the eye. Youji decided it must be because of how he broke down in Youji's arms last night. He decided to talk to Ken later that day, when he could get him alone.
Youji and Aya had morning shift that day, much to Youji's disappointment. He wanted to talk to Ken, who was now doing a good job of avoiding him. Ken had returned to his room shortly after Omi left for school. Youji hadn't seen him since.
Ken lay on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. He felt detached from his body. Images of blood and tears kept tormenting his mind. His blood and his tears. He couldn't get his father's drunken yelling or harsh, mocking laugh out of his head. He clutched his head in both hands, closing his eyes when he felt tears fill them.
Begin Flashback
"You've been very bad lately, Ken." A man growled, while grabbing the boy's already bloody hair. "You've broken the rules."
"No, I-" The child was cut off by a stinging slap.
"You told that teacher of yours." His mother reminded, her voice filled with boredom.
"No, please, I swear I didn't!" Another smack of flesh to flesh resounded through the room. Salty tears poured down the beaten child's chubby face.
"Shut up! Look at you. You're breaking one of the rules right now. No crying!" A punch landed on the boy's bruised side. "Just like your mother said, you told. And you misbehaved. I saw the mark you got on that spelling test. Do you try to be stupid?" The man barked.
"I-I'm sorry." Ken sobbed. He was kicked to the ground.
"You're going to be even sorrier now." His father said, picking up his lighter from the side table. Soon tortured screams filled the shabby house.
End of Flashback
Gasping for breath Ken stumbled to his dresser and pulled a little knife out of one of the bottom drawers. (1) The monster he called a father's voice filling his head, 'Bad boys must be punished'.
"Yes..." Ken breathed out, bringing the blade to his arm. "Must be punished. Broke the rules. Bad boy..." Tears trickled down his face, unnoticed by the mesmerized brunette.
Downstairs, Youji had just finished his shift in the shop. Trudging up the stairs he called for his co-worker, "Hey, Ken! It's your shift. Ken? Where are ya?" Youji came to stand in front of Ken's door and knocked a few times. "Ken? Open up already. You there?" For some reason a feeling of dread filled the blonde playboy. "Damnit, Ken, open the door right now!" Getting no response he started pounding on it loudly. "Open the fucking door!" Youji was getting frantic. He stopped his banging for a moment to listen. He heard soft sobs escaping through the wooden barrier. Hearing Ken's pained whimpers was the last straw and with a loud crash, Youji kicked the door in.
Youji froze at what he saw when he entered. There was Ken, sitting in the middle of his floor, crying, with his wrist cut open. Going into autopilot Youji rushed to the bathroom and got the first aid kit. He rushed back to Ken and carefully bandaged his wound. Besides warm tears leaking from his saddened eyes and the occasional sniffle Ken was completely unresponsive, having slipped back into his mind. Youji guided Ken to his bed and lied down with him, taking the boy into his arms.
Youji gently stroked Ken's hair and whispered soothing words.
"Hush now. It's okay. It's alright, Kenken. I'm here." Ken's tears soon dried and he drifted off to sleep listening to Youji's comforting words. Youji, mentally exhausted by the whole thing, fell asleep himself, with Ken still held protectively in his arms.
Ken slowly awakens, refusing to open his eyes, the effects of sleep still lingering. He felt a warm presence surround him. The first thought that came to mind was 'Youji'. At that, Ken's eyes snapped open. He looked to his left to see the object of his desire. The events of earlier that day came rushing back to him. With a cry he leaped out of the bed.
'Oh gods, what have I done?!' Ken thought to himself. 'I'm so stupid. How could I do that? Hurt myself like that?' Ken looked down at his arm disgusted. 'And Youji saw. He saw me like that.' More tears come unbidden to Ken's already red and swollen eyes. Soon he couldn't help it any more and the floodgates opened. He crumpled to the floor, heavy sobs racking his body.
The sound woke Youji. Youji looked down at the source of the noise only to find a very distraught Ken. Ken immediately jumped off the bed and hurried over to Ken, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Kenken?" When the tears don't cease Youji took the soccer player into his arms once more. "Shhh. It's okay. What's wrong, Kenken?"
When Ken heard Youji comforting him once more it only fueled his misery and he could only cry harder. After a few minutes in that position and ken was able to compose himself. He stood up, freeing himself from Youji's embrace. Youji sensed something was still very wrong. Ken's rather abrupt composure throwing him off balance for a moment.
"Would you please leave, Youji?" Ken's voice was raspy from all the cry he had been doing.
Youji eyed Ken carefully. The brunette was obviously not okay. He still wouldn't make eye contact with Youji and a great pain seemed to weigh him down.
"No." Youji said simply. Ken looked up, surprised.
"Youji?"
"I will not leave. You need me here." Youji insisted.
"Youji, please. I'll be fine. I just want to be alone." Ken said, wrapping his arms around himself. Youji could tell Ken did not, in fact, want to be left alone at all.
"No."
"Please, Youji."
"I told you, no."
Starting to get angry, Ken snapped back, "Just leave!"
"Why?" Youji asked, folding his arms over his chest.
Having become quite fed up, the stress of the last few days catching up with him, Ken yelled at Youji. "Because I don't want you to see me like this, so weak and pathetic!"
Youji looked taken aback. After a second of hesitation, Youji pulled Ken into his arms, for what seemed like the hundredth time within the last two days. Though, neither minded.
"You could never look pathetic to me, Ken." Youji said in one of the most serious tones Ken had ever heard him use. "I love you."
Ken tensed in his grip.
"Y-you what? H-how could you love someone like me?" Ken asked in complete shock.
Youji smiled warmly. "Because you're an amazing person." When Ken still looked at him questioningly he added, "You're talented, graceful, passionate, and completely beautiful." His voice lowered to a husky whisper. "I love you, and even if you hate me afterwards, I had to tell to. And if you'll let me, Ill help you through this."
Ken stared into Youji's deep, expressive eyes. Finding only truth and love he smiled.
"I love you too, Youji. Always." With another meek smile Ken pressed his soft lips against Youji's hot ones.
THE END
(1) I'm not saying Ken is a cutter or that he keeps knives to hurt himself. But Weiss being assassins and all are bound to have weapons in their rooms, right? Plus, this is convenient for me... ;
Author's Note: Well, I hope you liked it. I was having trouble with the last chapter, not really liking what I wrote. I still think it could have been better, but this is the best I could do. I was originally going to have chapter 3 be my last chapter, so this is basically one giant epilogue. Thank you sooo much all you reviewers. Your reviews really encourage me. Thank you all for reading.