THE TERK DIARIES
By Princess Amelia Sabrinette Rinaldi Teo Diablo
Known as Mia for short
NEW CHARACTERS: Tina, the Indian gorilla, Shu Li, the Chinese gorilla, and Zuraidah, the Malay gorilla.
SATURDAY, THE TREEHOUSE
Sometimes it seems like all I ever do is lie.
Seriously. I think Tarzan's doing this to torture me.
He thinks I'm hiding my feelings about this. I say to him, "No, I'm really not. I think it's cool. As long as you're happy I'm happy."
He says, "I don't think you're being honest."
Then he hands me this book. He tells me to write down my emotions in this book, since I don't feel like sharing them with other people.
He wants me to write down my emotions? OK, I'll write down my emotions.
HOW CAN THEY DO THIS TO ME?!
Like everyone doesn't already think I'm freakish. I mean, I'm scruffy, rude and a tomboy. How much more freakish can I get, I ask you that?
There are at least twenty girl gorillas in this jungle, right? That makes about fifteen of them my age or a bit older. So out of FIFTEEN girls, I have to be the maid of honour at Tarzan and Jane's wedding.
Thanks, guys. Thanks very much indeed.
SUNDAY, MY FAVOURITE TREE
Ugh. I just saw the dress they're having me wear. It's Jane's best yellow dress. Lacy, puffy, big, TIGHT!
I am so gonna hammer Professor Porter.
Like it's not bad enough I look like a boy. I'll look like a boy dressed up in that thing!
Jane says I have to sing a song at the wedding. AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
I could sing that Lover Girl song my friend Tina's always singing.
It's in some foreign language. I think it's Hindi.
Or Oo-La-La, the one Zuraidah always sings. If I knew how to sing it, that is.
Or maybe even Dancing Queen. Auntie K always goes on about what a great song that is.
TERK'S LIST OF SONGS:
Dancing Queen
Made In India
Lover Girl
Ek Baar Do Baar
Oo-La-La
Quan Xin Quan Yi (the one Shu Li always sings)
OK. Out of these either I choose one or I perform all six.
I guess I'll sing all six. I'm not a very bad singer.
I better ask Jane if I can sing six songs.
SUNDAY, TREEHOUSE
Asked her. How wonderful, of course I can!
That was a direct quote.
I practiced singing Oo-La-La with Tina and Zuri. It's not difficult at all, really, since I actually memorized the whole song the fifth time we sang it.
We're gonna use a song called De De for the dancing, with the professor's new invention, something called a CD player. Tina brought something called a CD from India. It's got all seven songs on it.
All those songs on the CD are great. We danced to them.
So cutely, according to Tantor.
Yeah. Cute. That's what he said.
PEOPLE WHO CALLED MY PERFORMANCE CUTE:
Tantor
Professor Porter
Jane
Auntie Kaala (God, this Hindi is really getting in my brain) I mean Kala
EVERY GORILLA WHO SEES ME DANCING!!!!!
SUNDAY, INSIDE THE VOLCANO
I suppose the location freaked you out. Yeah. It's true. Everyone is so buggy about my journal that I decided to have my own special place just for writing.
If I didn't live in the jungle, where there's no printing press or even paper, I could earn a suitable living as a writer. Maybe like that Meg Cabot lady who wrote diaries. Tina says she likes reading them. I think Tina is the only gorilla who was raised in a civilised society. They taught her to read, write and even taught her to speak different languages.
Tina is so smart. I wish I could speak Hindi and Tamil.
Zuri knows Malay. Shu Li knows Chinese, even if only a few words.
I'm the only girl my age who knows ONLY ENGLISH!
But Tina says that's OK. She knows languages, but she can't climb trees. I'm serious. Because she was raised in a zoo in India, she never got to practice her tree climbing.
I made a deal with her. If she teaches me one language, I'll teach her to climb trees.
If she teaches me both languages, I'll teach her to climb trees AND swing through them.
Fair deal, eh? Zuri offered to teach me Malay, but I told her I'd learn Malay after I learn Tamil and Hindi.
Tina is fluent in Tamil but not so good in Hindi. Who cares anyway? That's better than nothing at all!
Did I mention that it's kind of dark and creepy in here? Sure, the walls are covered in diamonds, and that gives off some light, but just enough light to write. It's sort of eerie and spooky, the blue-white light glowing in the darkness.
God, that sounds so lame!
The wedding's next Friday, which gives me just enough time to prepare my dance and songs. I also got a request to play music (from- who else? -Professor Porter), but I've informed everyone that since I'll be dancing AND singing, I can't play music, and would they please have someone else play music.
Uh...I'm really getting the creeps. I better get out of here and write somewhere where there's more light!
MONDAY, THE ROOF OF THE TREEHOUSE
When I finished writing yesterday it was night already, so I hid my journal in between the planks of this roof and went to bed.
In the morning I get up and WHAT DO I FIND?
PEOPLE ARE READING MY JOURNAL WHEN I'M NOT LOOKING!!!!!
When I stopped by the tree house this morning to pick up some fruit for Tantor and me, there were Tarzan, Jane and Professor Porter, READING MY JOURNAL ALOUD!!!!!
Even Tantor, my supposed friend TANTOR, was listening very interestedly!
I am SO gonna tell Auntie Kala what these people are up to!
I hope at least SHE'LL understand the plight of us young gorillas who like their privacy!
Tina, Zuri and Shu Li were REALLY mad when I told them. Tina was like, "You should report them to someone."
Zuri was like, "Better find new hiding places for your journal."
Only Shu Li was like, "You should just tell them that you don't feel comfortable with them reading all your private thoughts and feelings. I don't understand you, Terk. You're always going around lying about your feelings. Why don't you just speak your mind for a change?"
Shu Li is smarter than she looks. I wish I were as smart as her!
TERK'S WISHES:
To be smarter.
To be able to fit into Jane's dress comfortably.
To be able to speak Chinese, Malay, Hindi and Tamil besides English.
To be able to tame the tuft of hair on head.
To be able to dance as beautifully as Jane.
To be able to sing.
To be able to hide inner thoughts and emotions, namely journal, in a place where nobody will be able to poke their abnormally large noses into my business.
To be pretty like Tina, witty like Zuri, and graceful like Shu Li.
To be slim like Jane.
To get a boyfriend.
I know a way to make all my wishes come true:
GET A MAKEOVER!!!!!
I'm sure Tina, Zuri, Shu Li and maybe even Jane might be able to help me.
MAKEOVER STEPS:
Start calling myself Terkina (my full name- might take a while to get used to it.)
Wear clothes.
Practice dancing.
Be nice to everyone.
Practice singing.
Take a bath every day.
I guess that should do it until the wedding. If we want we can elaborate after the wedding.
I'm hungry. I'll write later, bye!
MONDAY, TARZAN AND JANE'S BED
Oh my God. I can't stop crying.
I am going to kill Tarzan.
I found out why I have to be Maid of Honour at the wedding. I found out why I'm so popular all of a sudden with the boys.
BECAUSE I'M A PRINCESS!!!