A/N:Okay, I don't think I've estranged too many of my readers, let's see if this chapter will do it. Keep in mind that, in future, I will be adding storylines that are not directly related to my final story arc, much like the seasons of the show. Any ideas I have that I feel would not make good standalone stories, I will be putting in here. So long as it fit's the tone. Also, I apologise for overusing the word demon early last chapter, as I wrote it at several different intervals so my mind was jumping back and forth.
Disclaimer: I feel really weird, like everything is surreal or something. It could have something to do with the fact I'm watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Natural Born Killers late at night...

Last time, on Crushed: Spike fought biker demons and 'liberated' a bike. Yay petty theft. Buffy killed more biker demons. Yay continuous slaughter. Spike stumbled across William's friends from college and milked them for free drinks. Yay mooching. Dawn complained about denial-Buffy and showed off her locket, which exploded a short time later. Whoops-a-daisy. Then Joyce woke up to see a woman claiming to be William. What happens next?

Okay, this is plain confusing

"Dawn, honey, wake up."

Joyce's voice filtered through Dawn's sleepy state. She was not feeling particularly good. Her skin felt too tight, and her body felt as though it was being squished. She moaned softly and tried to go back to sleep, only to be woken by gentle shaking.

"Mom, I don't want to go to school" Dawn croaked, her voice strangely deep. Hold up, she thought. My voice isn't that deep. She cracked an eye open to see her mom's carefully calm face hovering about a foot above her own. Dawn rubbed a hand over her face to wake up and froze, her hand covering her face. Her usually small hand was suddenly much larger and much rougher, and her entire face felt different.

Sitting up and looking down at herself in panic, Dawn almost abstractly noticed her new figure. A lean, coltish young man's body had replaced her previously delicate, feminine one. Her newly broadened shoulders now stretched her glittery top to the limits of the fabric and her jeans were almost painfully tight.

Dawn raised her head in shock and looked around the lounge room. She could see her mom and Giles, but there were other people who were complete strangers. An elegantly muscular man with honey blonde hair and hazel eyes, wearing a pair of leather pants several sizes too small and the same black shirt that Buffy had been wearing earlier.

There was a voluptuous brunette wearing a pair of jeans too large at the legs but too small at the hips, staring at herself in shock. Next to her was a lean, well formed man staring at himself in undisguised lust.

In the corner, there were too beautiful women who were almost identical staring at each other. They had the same full figure, but they seemed vastly different. One wore black jeans too tight in the hips, what appeared to be a black halter top and a leather duster that draped to the ground, the last inch dragging inelegantly on the floor. Her hair was platinum blonde, and hung at her shoulder blades.

The other woman wore a baggy pair of blue jeans and a plain shirt that was too small for her bust and too large everywhere else, with wavy brown hair that hung to her shoulders. Other than these differences, the two were almost identical. The blonde one arched one sculpted eyebrow, that had a familiar scar running through it.

Shaking her head, Dawn turned to look at the last two people in the room, ignoring the odd feeling in her stomach. The remaining two people were men, both of average height and build, a redhead and a dirty blond, staring at the floor looking acutely embarrassed.

"What's going on?" Dawn asked and felt ridiculous when her voice came out wavering between baritone and tenor. Like an adolescent boy, she realised belatedly. Another quick glance at her body and a surreptitious feel of her pelvis proved her fears. She looked at the confused honey blond man. "Buffy?" The man winced and nodded.

"We believe your necklace to have been the cause of this," Giles stated. "as only the people who had touched it have changed... genders. Unfortunately, the metamorphosis seems to have destroyed it" the British man finished, dashing Dawn's hopes of a quick fix. The beautiful platinum blonde, Spike her mind supplied, looked strangely guilty at Dawn's downcast expression.

"Don't worry, love." Spike's accent was strangely arousing, his clear feminine voice making the harsh emphasis on the words effecting Dawn's new body in ways it wouldn't have effected the old one. "I'll get you a new one after all of this is done."

Buffy's head snapped up. "Another one?" Her voice matched her new body as well, a deep rumbling filled with anger directed at the vampire. "It's your fault that this happened in the first place! You are so not getting her another one."

"How the bloody hell is it my fault, Slayer? Am I supposed to just be able to tell when some ponce has cast a spell to get at the Slayer and her mates?" The vampire and Slayer stood face to face, only with their sudden gender reversal Spike was now the one forced to look up slightly.

"Ahem!" Joyce cleared her throat loudly. Everyone in the house turned to look at the older woman carefully. Joyce could get real scary. "Arguing isn't going to solve anything." Beyond looking pointedly at Buffy, who muttered something to the effect of, 'he started it', Joyce let this sink in. "What we should do is go home, get a good night's sleep and then we should all meet up at the Magic Box tomorrow."

This course of action was generally accepted as all the Scoobies began to head to their respective homes, except Willow and Tara, the redhead and the brunet. "Umm... we don't have any men's clothes at our house" Willow stated, looking embarrassed. There was a moment of awkward silence as everyone processed the implications of that particular statement.

"You... two can come to my house and get some clothes." Giles informed them softly. The whole debacle was confusing and it was late. Perhaps an answer could be found in the morning. At the very least, it would be easier to think when they were all wearing clothes that actually fit. It was very distracting and highly disturbing to find himself glancing at William's... considerable assets. It was, as the children had been fond of saying in High School, wiggy.

Buffy mentally thanked William for leaving several changes of clothes behind several weeks back. There was absolutely nothing in the house that she and Dawn would have been able to wear if not for those left over clothes. Dawn had raided them first, her lanky form needing the largest clothes, which given William's fairly average height, were not very abundant.

Buffy had to admit, though, that Dawn made a cute boy. The white t-shirt she managed to squeeze into was tight across her shoulders, but the cargo pants had fit her well even if they had left an inch of skin showing at the ankle.

Buffy had found a pair of tracksuit pants and a grey t-shirt, which fit her well. Buffy contemplated how truly weird her life was in Sunnydale as she head up the stairs towards her bedroom. She opened the door and flounced onto her bed. Turning on her side, planning to go to sleep, she nearly fell off her bed in shock.

There was a woman rummaging through her closet, and from Buffy's lack of warning in the mirror, she could only assume Spike. That was only half of the surprise. Judging from the smooth expanse of pale flesh revealed to the Slayer, Spike was looking for clothes that fit. While not wearing any. With frantic eyes, Buffy noted the black clothes that normally graced Spike's body lay in a pile at his feet. Buffy let out a squeak that sounded incredibly odd in her new masculine voice.

"Don't mind me, Slayer. I'll just be a minute." the vampire murmured without looking around. Buffy's eyes widened in outrage. He was going through her things and acting like he had every right to do it. Well, that was going to stop right now. She wasn't going to put up with his attitude, especially after he had that ho hanging off his arm.

"Get the hell out of here, Spike." Ooh, Buffy was pleased with her new voice now. Threats in a deep, low voice carried more weight than any of her old threats. Only, it had less effect than usual, if possible. Spike turned around, with an irritated expression on his face. Which Buffy barely noticed because Spike still wasn't wearing any clothes.

"Listen, love. I either take your mum's stuff, the Bit's or yours. I like your mum too much to take her stuff, and the Bit's stuff isn't big enough, so that leaves you. You got a problem with that, pet?" the vampire asked, hands on hips. Buffy slowly shook her head, unable to draw her eyes from Spike's new pert breasts. With a sharp nod, Spike returned to his rummaging and Buffy shifted a new, almost painful part of her anatomy.

After a few minutes of effort, Spike pulled on a black crop top and the only pair of black leather pants he could find. A few more minutes of searching rewarded the vampire with a pair of thick soled black boots, which were quickly put on. Grabbing his duster and sliding it on, Spike took one look at a very red-faced Buffy before jumping out the open window.

It was several minutes after the vampire left that Buffy began to curse the vampire before getting up to take a much needed cold shower.

William stood next to Spike at the mall, feeling awkward. Well, more so than usual. Rupert had tried to organise a research party to try and find the spell, but everyone had been too mixed up to focus much. Especially poor Anya and Xander. They had left to the training room four times in the two hours to get a breath of fresh air, and every time they had come back they had been red in the face and looking flushed. They were clearly not taking this well.

The only one who was obviously happy about the change was Spike. He'd surprised everyone by rocking up at the Magic Box an hour late. Actually, they had seemed surprised he had shown at all. He'd been wearing some of Buffy's clothes and his duster and had been looking extremely bored. Until, that is, he noticed Buffy's lust filled stare when he took off the duster. It was obvious that Buffy was ill-equipped to deal with her knew, one-track mind.

At that point, Spike had been smirking non-stop and had entertained himself by flirting shamelessly with Buffy, throwing amused glances at her groin. Still, it's the least one could expect from a soulless, evil vampire. Nothing else would be so improper.

Joyce had arrived with Dawn around lunch time, declaring that she was taking Buffy and Dawn shopping for some clothes while they were changed. Rupert had been absolutely generous and had given Joyce some money so she could bring William along, as neither William nor Rupert knew enough about women's clothes to actually get them themselves.

The trip to the mall had proved stressful. William was uncomfortably aware that his knew body was pleasant on the eyes and he had stuck very close to Buffy, giving many people the impression that they were a couple. That lasted until they had bumped into Spike, the vampire stealing makeup and other small items. Not overtly, of course, but even William knew he was doing it.

"Will, dear, come with me" Joyce called out. William obediently began to head towards the mothering woman but he still heard Dawn ask Spike a question.

"What do I do about... it? It moves non-stop!"

Spike had been enjoying his new body. Sure, it was different than what he was used to but it had one advantage over his regular body. The Slayer wanted this one, in her current form at any rate. He'd noticed it back at the Magic Box, when he'd taken his duster off. The Slayer had been ogling him about it, and new to the pull of the male body, she'd not been very subtle.

Spike had enjoyed himself, teasing her with all the flirty little things he'd picked up in his unlife. He'd found and continued to tease her in the mall, while nicking a few supplies for his time as a female. Unless the vampire was greatly mistaken, she would be suffering from a nasty case of blue balls by now.

Now the Slayer was probably out there, patrolling to blow off some steam. Perfect. Spike put the finishing touches on his black lipstick and dark eye shadow, a hundred plus years as Drusilla's caretaker had it's advantages, straightened his newly stolen skirt and strode out into the night, intent on the Slayer..

He found her outside his crypt. Restfield was not known for it's demon activity, which meant the Slayer was looking for him. Beautiful. He leaned against the crypt wall, so he could watch the Slayer beating on a vampire, far more violently than was strictly necessary. Spike cocked his hip out and waited for the Slayer to notice him. He wasn't waiting long.

Buffy drove the stake into the vampire's chest suddenly, the vampire exploding into dust. Buffy turned on Spike, her body still thrumming with the adrenaline rush the fight gave her, and glared at him. Spike smirked prettily when he noticed the rapid effect he had on the Slayer. This was almost fun. Hell, who was he kidding? Almost? Ha.

"What are you doing here, Spike?" Buffy asked, her deep baritone echoing through the still night. Spike raised a slim, dark eyebrow.

"This is my cemetery, Slayer. What's your excuse?"

"I have to patrol..." she began weakly. Spike laughed musically, strutting over to the Slayer, swaying his hips.

"Let's face it, Slayer. You. Want. My. Tight. Little. Body"

"Please. Ego much?" Buffy scoffed weakly. Spike gripped Buffy's new bulge tightly, causing her to groan.

"It's not ego when it's true, love." the vampire smirked again.

"Why are you doing... this" Buffy gasped. Spike smiled seductively.

"You're not going to like the answer to this, pet. It's because I love you." The vampire's comment was met by Buffy hurling him inside his crypt.

"You can't love, you don't have a soul. No soul, no love." Spike stood.

"If that was true, love, then I wouldn't want you now you're a man. I love what you are, pet" he cooed, as Buffy stepped towards him almost involuntarily.

"Stop it" she feebly ordered. Spike closed the gap between them, pressing his now soft body against her harder, warmer body. He craned his neck, placing his full lips near the Slayer's ear.

"Make me" he breathed softly. Buffy glanced at him, her lust and anger apparent in her gaze. Lifting the vampire up and slamming him against the wall, Buffy pressed her lips to Spike's in a crushing kiss.

A/N: Okay, this chapter I have no idea about. I can't tell if it fits in the story, if it's believable. Hell, I can't even tell if my pronoun use is correct or even clear. If it's not, blame it on it being really late while I write this, after just watching two of the most surreal movies I've ever seen. Plus side, I got some Spuffy. Sort of. Maybe. Does it even count when they're opposite genders?