A/N: Okay, most people seemed to like that last chapter. I'm going to request that people don't review and leave "..." as a message, it's not helpful. Don't like it, tell me. I need to know to improve. Like it, tell me. It inspires. Okay, Buffy DID want Spike in his man body as well, but Spike was oblivious and she repressed. Her new... anatomy resists repression. A lot. What do you think has been goin' on the last few chapters? And I'm thinking of making me a little spin off fic, well, not so little recording the adventures of all the Scoobies in great detail during the change. The changes made were/are necessary, but I'm not going to cover why in much depth here. If I do it here, I'll lose track of the overall story and that leads to badness and songfic... :P
Disclaimer: I feel tired and hung over, even though I haven't drunk any alcohol. Maybe I'm sick. Well, physically. We're all aware of the state of my mind...

Last time, on Crushed: The Scoobies all woke up the opposite gender. Oh my. Except Joyce and Giles, because they didn't touch the magic pendant. Doesn't THAT sound dirty? Buffy and Dawn used some old clothes of William's that he left there, and Spike stole some of Buffy's. While naked. With Buffy watching. Ooh, isn't that crude? There was mention of a Summers/Giles shopping trip for the changed people of those names, and Spike stole makeup. Naughty, naughty. Then Spike taunted Buffy at his her? crypt. Buffy shut him up with a kiss. Ooh, what happens next?

Guilt always comes after

Buffy stirred lethargically in the soft bed, feeling more relaxed than she had for a long time. She was warm, happy, a little sleepy and okay, sure, she was in a man's body and had to go to the toilet, but all in all, she was feeling good. She hadn't felt this peaceful since before Riley left. Frowning slightly, Buffy turned in bed, eyes still tightly closed.

And ended up with an armful of moderately warm, supple flesh. Buffy's eyes flew open in shock, realising several things at once.

1. She was not in her room.

2. She was not in her bed.

3. She was completely naked.

4. The woman opposite her was naked.

5. The woman opposite her was Spike.

6. She'd just had sex with Spike.

Buffy's brain shut down. She was unable to have any actual coherent thought beyond inappropriate, if highly arousing, flashbacks of the night before. After a few panic filled seconds, Buffy finally processed something. Spike was naked and so was she. That led to badness of the highest order. The Slayer scrambled off the bed, taking the sheet with her and wrapping it around her chest out of habit. Spike's blue eyes opened.

"Well, that was an experience" the vampire said, lounging casually in the bed, making no move to cover himself in any way. Buffy scrambled about the underground portion of the crypt, looking for her clothes. Her pants were hanging on the ladder that lead to the lower floor.

Buffy gave up hope of finding her own shirt, having a vague memory of it being ripped apart in the ardour of the night before and grabbed one of Spike's old shirts and slid it on. She found her left shoe and hopped about, trying to get it on and find the other shoe without looking in the general direction of Spike at all.

"Shoe, shoe... I need my shoe!" Buffy rambled, as though saying the words out loud could summon her shoes. Although, this being Sunnydale that was far too possible a prospect for comfort.

"What's your hurry, love?" Spike asked. Buffy braved a glance at the vampire, who was still painfully naked, and glared at him.

"This never should have happened. It was the spell."

"Bollocks!" he scoffed. "That was you and me, Slayer. Spell had nothing to do with it. That was just us, Slayer."

"You know what? You're right, Spike." Buffy almost smiled at the stunned expression on his ironically angelic face. "I had an itch. You scratched it. You're just... convenient."

"You're lying" he stated, not sounding at all sure, his face carefully schooled to neutrality. "You felt something last night. I know you did."

"Yeah, loathing. Still, anything will do in a pinch to substitute for love, won't it Spike?" The vampire flinched. Buffy tried to feel some sort of satisfaction from the look of utter pain on the vampire's face. She should feel something other than this sick ache. Spike looked at her, his emotions in his eyes. Buffy just looked away, finally spotting her other shoe. When she bent to put it on, Spike stood.

The Slayer turned, standing, when she felt the vampire right behind her. Spike smirked evilly. "I knew." At Buffy's look, he elaborated. "I knew the only thing better than killing a slayer would be fu-" the punch across the jaw was pure instinct for Buffy. What was not normal was the guilt she felt when she saw the vampire fall backwards. She scrabbled up the ladder and ran.

She burst out of the crypt into the crisp morning sun, her pace slackening slightly when she realised that Spike could not follow her. That did not just happen. Well, it did, but it shouldn't have and wouldn't again. No matter how hot the sex was- No! No hot sex with Spike! Icky Spike, not sex-god Spike. Nice thoughts about Spike lead to badness and pain. Nice thoughts about vampires equals badness. Much badness.

Dawn was freaking out. Her sister hadn't come home last night, or called or anything. And she was looking like a man as well. Normally Dawn didn't worry about Buffy, after all she was the Slayer, but Buffy usually had Spike watching her back and after yesterday at the mall, there was no chance Buffy would be anywhere near Spike last night and demons could get the best of her at any time.

"Would you like some pancakes, dear?" Joyce asked as she poured the batter in the pan. Dawn stared at her mother's calm demeanour in shock, until her stomach rumbling got her attention.

"Um, yeah." A horrible, horrible thought occurred to her. "Should we call Xander and the others? I mean, what if she's in a ditch somewhere? You're always warning us about the ditches. Ditches are bad places." Dawn rambled, her voice staying relatively level until the end, when her worry began to creep through.

"I hardly think we need to call any of the others. She's probably just staying at Rupert's or something and forgot to call." Joyce smiled reassuringly at her daughter, dropping the pancakes in front of her. Dawn continued to look worried, even while demolishing the food in record time. "Look, if it makes you feel better, sweety, if Buffy doesn't call or come home in half and hour then I'll call Rupert, okay? It's only eight o'clock. We should give them a little time before waking them up."

Dawn smiled gratefully, knowing she was probably being more emotional because of the change that had recently occurred. Finishing off the last of the juice in her glass, Dawn notices a faint banging noise coming from upstairs. Rising, Dawn looked at her mother, obviously oblivious to the potential danger.

The young girl decided that, seeing as she currently had a boy's body, she was in the best position to go see what the noise was and deal with potential intruders. She slipped up the stairs, walking close to the wall so as not to make them creak. As she reached the hallway, she heard a dull thud, like a heavy shoe hitting the floor, coming from Buffy's room. She crept over to the door and opened it a crack, peering into the gloom.

"Buffy?!" Dawn asked incredulously. Her sister had fallen in the window, and was now on her back on the floor. One of her shoes lay at the door, near Dawn's feet, and the other was still on Buffy's foot and was stuck on the outside of the window, which seemed to have fallen shut and gotten stuck, wedging the Slayer's foot.

"Um, hi Dawnie." Buffy's expression is contrite, matching the half hearted little wave she offered her sister. "Can you help me with this?"

"Where have you been?" the youngest Summers asked, hands on hips, not moving from her place in the doorway. "And why are you coming in the window?"

"Umm, long story. There was this, uh... demon. Big, big demon. With lots of teeth. And... with the fighting, and, uh... then there was, um...uh... It doesn't matter" Buffy finished sheepishly, when unable to come up with an explanation that didn't involve Spike. Dawn looked at Buffy, confused.

"Is that Spike's shirt?"

A/N: I don't often do this, mid-chapter messages. First time ever, actually. I'm going to skip past the two weeks that the Scoobies spend as the opposite gender, and if you really want to know what happened in the period remember to mention in a review. As it is, I'll mention everything that needs to be known as I go along. I just want this story to go to a certain place and this isn't it.

Ethan Rayne, wizard of some renown and devout child of Chaos, was surprised as hell when his head was slammed into the bar. He was pulled to his feet and spun around. He looked at his assailants, a grisly bunch. A very pissed off guy was holding him, his dark roots beginning to show through a blond dye; a teenage boy was glaring at him and looking uncomfortable standing behind two guys, a redhead and a brunet, who were holding hands and looking uneasily angry.

Then there was the platinum blonde woman. Tight leather pants stretched over very shapely legs and an arse that you could crack a walnut on, hard stomach revealed by the red halter top and a leather duster that gave her an air of mystery. Sure, she looked even more pissed than the guy holding Ethan, but she was still hot enough to warrant his 'come hither' look.

"I know what you did" the guy holding Ethan growled, and Ethan had to roll his eyes. Didn't this stupid prat realise that Ethan Rayne was a man for hire, willing to do whatever the client was willing to pay for? This could be from any number of things. Still, the British man knew well enough not to volunteer incriminating evidence.

"That's just wonderful" he drawled, already bored. Clearly this guy was going to do whatever he wanted.

"You're going to fix it" the guy holding Ethan's collar snarled, obviously annoyed at Ethan's lack of knowledge about the incident in question.

"I'll be glad to, if your friend over there is willing to do something for me" Ethan replied, nodding his head towards the blonde. It probably wouldn't work, but a guy had to take what he could get. The guy holding him threw a speculative glance at the blonde, who noticed and started glaring at him instead.

"...No, we can't do that." the guy declared, sounding faintly regretful. "You'll fix it or I'll let her spend time alone with you" Ethan turned to look at the blonde, whose face shifted, her forehead becoming ridged, fangs and gold eyes gleaming faintly in the Los Angeles pub. Great, a vampire. All the hot ones were dead.

"And just what am I fixing, mate?" Ethan asked, getting a little bit curious as to what he had done to a vampiress and a bunch of guys. He didn't remember doing anything of the sort.

"You'll turn me back into a man, you bloody pillock!" the platinum blonde roared, drawing the attention of everyone in the bar. When the guy holding Ethan lifted him off the ground, he finally put two and two together.

"Slayer?"

William looked around the Magic Box, noting that everyone except Spike looked as uncomfortable as he did. They all had put on clothes to anticipate the change, and he was sure they'd be happier after the change, but wearing his male clothes was uncomfortable. They were too tight along his heaps and breasts, and that thought alone made him shudder.

He also noted he wasn't the only one anxious about the upcoming change. Dawn was looking uncomfortable, Buffy and Spike were still not talking to each other, and no one but them knew why they had fallen out. Willow and Tara were quiet and tense, and Anya was soothing a strangely nervous Xander.

"Don't worry, Xander. It can't be as bad as-"

"Ahn! You promised to never, ever bring that up!" Xander squealed, dark eyes wide. Everyone in the room except Spike turned to look at the oblivious couple curiously.

"One minute to showtime." Spike stated quietly, glaring at the Slayer for reasons of his own. Everyone was suddenly intensely sombre, and they all watched the clock and waited intently for the clock to strike nine o'clock. The second hand was closing.

Three.

Two.

One.

Bright light engulfed the room and all it's occupants felt an odd displacement before blacking out completely.

Three young men, often called nerds or geeks in their adolescence, sat around a card table, drinking soda and playing a little D&D. An idea occurred to the Dungeon Master.

"So ... you guys wanna team up and take over Sunnydale?" The two players look to one another, contemplating this. They come to a conclusion and answer simultaneously.

"Okay"

A/N: I had to bring the Trio in. They rule. That chapter was broken up, I'll admit it, but if you want to see what happened in the weeks remember to mention it in review. I'll be continuing this fic, but updates may be further apart for a week, maybe two. Got a few other ideas, and one of my current open fics is going on hiatus. Not this one. Relax, take a moment to review. Please?