Just Another Arkham Experiment

Author's Note: Just so you know, I'm not copying anybody's story, as this is my own creation. I have observed in some psychology books that one way to make people get along together is to make them BE each other. If you don't really understand, never mind - just read the story. None of the characters belong to me but to DC comics and Warner Bros. Happy reading!

Dr. Joan Leland took a careful observation at the patients ahead of her. Even after this so-called 'group therapy' that has been going on for the past month, none of them seemed to be getting along with each other.

Misses Pamela Isley and Harleen Quinzel were sitting at the left side of the room, avoiding contact with the Joker who was opposite. Miss Quinzel, however, seemed to be looking rather longingly at her love who was oblivious to his surroundings and had a big grin plastered onto his face.

Next to the Joker sat Jervis Tetch, also known in the crime world as the 'Mad Hatter'. The strange smaller man was humming a little tune, no doubt the Mock Turtle's Song from the book 'Alice in Wonderland'. Next to him sat Harvey 'Two-Face' Dent, who was obviously glad not to have contact with the annoying Joker clown. Edward Nygma (The Riddler) wasn't far behind.

Squashed onto his little chair sat the large Killer Croc that was growling at Jonathan Crane (who was at the far end of the room) for insulting the crocodile-skinned man. Jonathan Crane, also known as the Scarecrow, was probably hiding his fear behind a mask of disinterest.

Doctor Leland cleared her throat,' I've noticed that this particular group isn't getting along with each other, even after so many sessions.'

'Quite right!' Snapped Pamela Isley,' Joker will just not stop tormenting poor Harley and leave her alone!'

'I don't mind him,' whimpered Harley in slight protest.

As Pamela shot her friend a disapproving look, Harvey Dent jumped in,' True! He won't stop cracking his stupid jokes about how he has an acid pie behind his back to ruin the other side of my face!'

'I don't mid him,' spoke up Tetch quietly,' if only I can have a decent game of chess with Crane without that Jabberwock cheating!'

Crane gave an icy glare,' I never cheat! The Queen was bound to take your Pawn! If you want to talk about cheating, inquire your colleague Mr. Nigma!'

The sharp Riddler hissed back,' At least I'm not as stupid as Crocky Boy down here!'

As Killer Croc jumped up in outrage at this, Dr. Leland held up her hand.

'As I said, we are not going anywhere,' she said firmly,' so let's go with this experiment: how about you all pretending to be each other?'

'WHAT?!' Cried out the criminals.

'For one day, you will pretend to be another person, like Mr. Dent being Mr. Nygma, and so on,' she calmly explained,' you will recognize each others problems, and so be more understanding and accepting.'

The clients thought about that. Slowly, they all agreed, each claiming that their problems will be the greatest. Dr. Leland smiled at this.

'Good! Now I will give each of you a folded piece of paper that each writes the name of the person whom you have to be today. You will open it in your cell, and by the time you have 1 hour group meeting, you will be well in your person's character.' Dr. Lelan said.

The rogues were all taken away. Joan just hoped that this will work.

XxxxXXXXXxxxxx

Joan Leland turned on the video camera when the 1 hour group meetings were about to begin. She would watch what will happen in the room, and take notes of their behaviour.

The first person pushed in was Miss Isley, but the others soon followed. Pamela had painted her face ghostly white, and she was fuming, reluctant to do her part. However, reluctantly she forced her mouth into a big smile.......

'HAHAHA!!!!' She forced an insane laugh,' Do we have chicken for dinner?! Get it? Chicken? HAHAHA!'

'That's not even funny!' Called out Joker, who uncharacteristically had a serious face, and his green hair was painted into lurid red,' Now, riddle me this, riddle me that, where is that Nygma rat?'

'So you're supposed to be playing me!' Groaned Edward Nygma in dissaproval, as he carried a fake chemistry set with him, and he looked as though he had permanently beeen starving himself.

'What in the Heaven's name are you supposed to be? Even I can't solve this riddle!' Joker exclaimed.

Nygma sighed in humiliation, and then yelled,' Worship me, you fools! WORSHIP ME!'

'Ah, so you're Jonny Boy,' Joker observed thoughtfully,' Just one thing: what's with the Chemistry set?'

'How else do you expect for Fear Gas to be made?' Nygma looked at the set,' But I still can't solve how you could work this damn thing.....'

Pamela's eyes shone with remembrance.

'Hey, where's Harley?' She asked,' Harley? HARLEY!?'

'Coming, Mistah J!' came a forced girlish voice from the crowd, as the person skipped happily to her.

When Joker saw the person, he burst into his trademark laughter, while Nygma tried to hide a grin. Isley, on the other hand, looked at the person in horror.

'Not you too, Jonathan!' She wailed.

Truly, Jonathan Crane, Master of Fear, the Scarecrow, was supposed to be the sweet, charming Harley Quinn. He put two apples into his uniform to be his 'ample' bosom and he pulled his already short, messy hair into two puffy pigtails onto each side of his head. Crane's expression, however, was not amused.

'Do you have a problem?' He asked icily, trying unsuccessfully to look serious, but instead made himself look more ridiculous.

'Well, that's obvious: my partner must be male. Oh joy!' Groaned Pamela,' Where's the real Harley?'

'Right here, my good sir!' Came her cheerful voice, but it was more controlled.

Standing there in a huge purplish overcoat and a giant hat was Harley Quinn. She was drinking something from a cup.

'Tea, anyone?' She asked sweetly.

'I was wondering what happened to Tetch!' Grinned Crane in his awkward disguised.

'Jervis?' Asked Harley mildly, sipping her tea,' Oh, he's down there doing heavyweight exercise.'

'TETCH?! Heavyweight exercise?' Exclaimed the group, as they looked down the room.

There was the small man, pulling up heavyweights unsuccessfully, but still not giving up. He gave squeals of frustration when he couldn't pull the weights up.

'He's scaring me,' whispered Nygma, as Crane looked at him, but then shook his head as if there was nothing new. Crane took out a notebook to make a note of this fear ('Muscle power midgets' - no scientific name yet.).

Joker, on the other hand, burst into giggles,' Nutty Hatter is doing exercises! Where are you going? To the Olympic Dwarves?'

Tetch looked up at him dangerously. 'Off with his- er..... throw a rock at him!' Yelled the man, correcting his role of being Killer Croc.

'Now, now, be careful of this language. We don't want Clownface getting involved in this,' Said Croc calmly in correct English, while leaning against the wall and flipping a coin.

'Alright, so Jervis is Croc and Croc is Harvey Dent,' Pamela furrowed her brow, trying to grasp the confused situation,' where's Harv?'

Comprehension dawned upon Crane,' He can only be one thing...... RED! Where are you, Red?' He immediately switched to Harley's accent.

Slowly, seductively, in came Two- Face or Harvey Dent. His entire hair was painted read and he wore a really tight uniform (also adding apples for his bosom).

'Feel your lust for me, foolish men,' whispered Harvey Dent seductively,' for here's sexy Poison Ivy to destroy you all for ruining my flowers!'

'I do not speak like that!' Hissed Pamela Isley, and she quickly turned to Killer Croc,' Hit him with a truck!'

However, Crane noticed what Croc was doing,' Two-Face, stop picking your nose!'

Croc pulled out his finger in embarrassment. Then he looked at Crane,' Go and get poisoned by Mistah J's kiss, Scarecrone!'

Crane roared in anger, and still wearing those pigtails, attacked Croc. Jervis jumped in, yelling,' This is for cheating at chess!'

Harley ran into the fight,' Leave Doc. Crane alone!'

'Harley!' Cried Pamela, and joined in to help her friend.

'I will not let you suffer, Pamela!' cried out Harvey Dent in emotion to help his former traitorous love.

'How do you work this thing, Crane? I need to know!' Screamed the hysteric Riddler, joining in the battle. Joker soon joined in for the sake of fun.

Soon after, the guards came in the separate the battle.

XxxxXXXXXxxxxxx

'Did you learn anything out of your experience?' Asked Dr. Leland her patients.

Harley and Pamela had swollen lips from being hit, Joker had a scar running down his cheek, Crane and Tetch had a black eye each on the opposite place, Nygma had a bleeding nose along with Harvey Dent, and Croc was hardly harmed at all.

'We did learn something: we prefer being ourselves and accept each other's humiliating traits!' Whimpered Harley Quinn, nursing her bruised jaw.

THE END

Author's Note: I hope I got everybody's character's down correctly, and that it wasn't confusing or boring. I would really like to know what you think, so please review!