Title: Shadow
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Summary: A song-fic about Marta's life. Song: "Shadow" by Ashlee Simpson
Disclaimer: GUESS WHAT?! I got Mike White's phone number online and I called him up. I told him it was my birthday AND HE GAVE ME THE RIGHTS TO SCHOOL OF ROCK! REALLY! Okay, not really. If I did would I be writing this? Sadly, I do not own Ashlee or any of her songs either.
I was six years old
When my parents went away
I was stuck inside
A broken life
I couldn't wish away
When I was six years old, my mom and sister went off. I don't even remember where they went. My older sister, Camille, was like, a piano prodigy. My parents wanted her to become some famous classical piano player. What I wanted to do was pretty much overlooked and ignored.
She was beautiful
She had everything and more
And my escape was hiding out and running for the door
Camille was, and still is, one of the most beautiful girls I know. She has thick, long honey-blonde hair, and bright blue eyes. She's amazingly talented (duh! Piano prodigy!). She always did her chores and her homework. She got straight A's in school.
Somebody listen please
It used to be so hard being me
Most of the time I tried to ignore it, but many times, I felt like no one ever listened to me. I felt like I had to be exactly like my sister, and that's how I would get love from my parents. And believe me, she's a hard act to follow.
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold
But every touch felt cold to me
I felt really alone in the world. Sure, I had friends at school, and they were great. But I never felt I could confide all of these thoughts in them. My parents were never home. My mom was always doing stuff with my sister, and my dad was always at work.
Living in a nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
My chains are finally free
Don't feel sorry for me
I felt like life was a dream. Scratch that, a nightmare. But I couldn't wake up.
All the days collided
One less perfect then the next
I was stuck inside someone else's life
And always second best
I tried to get over it. But I felt like I was living in my sister's life. I was always at some lesson or concert or recital. My parents paid so much attention to her, I felt like I would always be second to Camille. Then Dewey came.
Oh I love you now
Cause now I realize
That it's safe outside to come alive
And my identity
When I auditioned for back-up singer when Dewey came, I didn't realize how much it would change my life so hugely. Finally, something I could do that was about ME, not Camille. The problem was, we couldn't tell our parents about the "project".
So if you're listening
There's so much more to me you haven't seen
But I really wanted my parents to know about my singing. So I started to just sing around the house, to the radio and shit like that. But it still seemed as if they were to wrapped up in Camille to notice. No, they didn't notice my singing, but of course, they noticed the change in my style and taste in music. And to say the least, they did NOT approve.
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold
But every touch felt cold to me
Living in a nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
I can finally see
Don't feel sorry for me
Finally I made a decision. I just thought, 'fuck this, I'm gonna do what I want. And what I want is to sing.' Then came Battle of the Bands. It was the most amazing thing I had ever felt. I looked out into the audience, and I saw all of the parents. I smiled, and gave the performance my all. I wanted to show my parents that I could do something just as good as Camille. And it worked.
Mother, sister, father, sister, mother
Everything's cool now
Mother, sister, father, sister, mother
Everything's cool now
My life with my family could not be any better now. Finally I got a chance to talk with my parents, and tell them what I had been feeling. They promised to try to be better.
Oh my life is good
I've got more than anyone should
Oh my life is good
And the past is in the past
Hell, life in general could not be any better at the moment. The band got offered a record deal, and we're negotiating it right now. The band brought so many great friendships. And, you'll never believe this, Freddy asked me out! We've been dating for almost three months.
I was living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold
But every touch felt could to me
I was living in the shadow of Camille's dream. Key word: was. Now, I'm in my own dream, and I'm living it to the max.
I'm living in a new day
Living it for me
And now that I am wide awake
I can finally see
Don't feel sorry for me
These days, my life isn't all about Camille. My plans aren't scheduled around her concerts anymore. My life is all about me, my dreams, my friends, and my family. I finally see what I want to do, and I'm pouring my heart and soul into it.
Don't feel sorry, don't feel sorry for me
Don't feel sorry, don't feel sorry for me
I don't ever want anyone to hear my story and take pity on me. I don't need that.
Livin' in, livin' in, livin' in the shadow
Livin' in, livin' in livin' in
A new day
Now I'm living in a new day. My life is out of the shadow, and in the spotlight.
A/N: So how was it? The first song-fic I ever wrote. It is also my first fic of publishing. Please review! But be nice! Here's some motivation: ALL REVIEWERS GET PIXI STIX! Come on... it takes two minutes. You know you want to...