Title: Trusting you
Author: Joyce
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, and if you believe that I do, then there's really something wrong with you....
Spoilers: Nothing I can think of.
Note: This is the thirth installment in the series that started with Losing you, this takes place three months after the second story, which was Facing you.
Buffy and Xander are trying to rebuild their friendship.
Trusting you
Xander stumbled into his appartment, worn out from a hard day at work. Kicking of his shoes, he made his way to the bathroom. Thirty minutes later a much better looking Xander emerged in the livingroom again. He always felt better after a shower, there was nothing better then clean clothes on a clean body after a day at the construction site. Yawning, he walked to the kitchen, to find he had nothing there except for some leftover Chinese food. He nuked it up and started eating like a madman. Company or no company, Xander Harris always feared his dinner would walk of his plate.
He had just finished his food when there was a knock on his door. He was slightly suprised to see a sad looking Buffy at his doorstep. He knew today would be a hard day for her, so the fact that she was sad was no suprise, the fact that she was here was. She gave him a small smile.
"Can I come in?"
He nodded.
"Sure."
Stepping into the appartment she wondered why she had come here tonight. But once she turned around and saw the worry in his eyes, she knew why. He cared.
Meanwhile, Xander was thinking about the right way to approach her, but he really didn't know where to begin. Eventually he realised he had to say something.
"Are you hungry, cause I don't really have all that much too offer you, not real food anyway and I know how much you hate my junkfood, but if you want I can go out and get you something to eat or otherwise..."
She interrupted him.
"Xander breathe, I'm not hungry. You don't need to get me anything."
He nodded, still a bit uncomfortable.
"Do you wanna sit down?"
She gave him a small nod and sat down on the couch, and he eventually followed. Sitting down beside her. For a while neither said anything, Buffy was studying her fingernails while he was looking at her.
"So, where is Dawn?"
She looked thoughtful for a moment.
"Out with friends."
She turned to him.
"Was that the right decision, letting her go out tonight?"
"Do you think she needed it?"
His question and the full confidence he had in her gave her some of her calm back.
"Yeah, I think it was just what she needed."
"Then you made the right decision."
They were silent again, lost in their own thoughts until he felt her head against his shoulder. She was leaning against him, looking for something. Looking for comfort, so he did the only thing he could do, he wrapped his arm around her and she somewhat relaxed against him. He just closed his eyes and hoped that this would help a bit. It took a long time for her to finally start speaking again.
"She would have turned 45 today."
The hurt in her voice caused him to tighten his hold on her.
"I know."
His voice was a whisper and it suprised her to see the pain he was in. It always suprised her to see how much he cared. Because he didn't have to, he just did.
"I still miss her so much Xan."
"I do too, I know it's not the same for me. But I do too, she was...she was special. She believed in me, you know..."
She looked up at him, tears beginning to form in her eyes.
"She liked you, and she was right to believe in you. She would have been proud to see what you have become."
"And she would have been so proud to see you and Dawnie now."
By now she was really crying.
"Would she really?"
Her question broke his heart.
"Of course she would Buff. Your mother loved you, she loved you so much and you are giving her more reason the be proud of you every day. You are taking care of Dawn for her, and you are doing a good job at that too. She would have been proud, no doubt about it."
"No doubt?"
"None."
He let her cry on his shoulder for a while, just content to hold her and be there for her. Eventually he let go of her.
"Stay where you are."
"Where are you going?"
He got up and went into his kitchen, to come out with a small cake that had a little candle on it. He smiled at her, somewhat embarresed.
"I know this is silly, but I bought it for her this morning. For no reason really, I just wanted to...I don't know...maybe celebrate her life...I was gonna eat it by myself tonight, honoring her...But I was hoping that maybe we could eat it together now. I mean...if you want to. If you don't, I'll just put it back in the kitchen and pretend this never happened. Your call."
She really didn't know what she was feeling right now, except that she had a best friend who was the sweetest guy in the world.
"You did that for her?"
"Yeah, as I said before..I miss her. She was important to me, she taught me that there are good parents out there, which isn't really something I had seen that much before and I just...I felt like I had to do something today. For her."
Something of a smile was seen on Buffy's face.
"Yeah...for her."
He sat down beside her again. Lightning the candle on the cake. Looking at Buffy.
"Do you wanna blow out the candle?"
She nodded, closed her eyes and blew out the candle. He then cut the cake in two pieces and gave her a piece.
"This is for Joyce."
She repeated the sentence.
"Yeah, this is for mom."
They ate their cake in silence, both remembering the woman they still missed every day.
"Xand?"
"Yeah..."
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being there, for letting me cry, for buying a cake for my mother, for everything. Just....thank you."
"Hey, it's all part of the building proces."
She smiled, remembering the day when they had started to rebuild their friendship.
"How is the building proces coming along, now that we are on the subject?"
He grinned.
"Don't worry Buff, we're right on schedule."
She got up and gave him a hug.
"Good, I can't tell you how happy I am because of that."
"I know."
She let go of him.
"I'm gonna go now. Not that I really want to, but I want to be there when Dawn get's home. I have a feeling she might need me then, and I know I need her too."
"Go, be there for her."
Grabbing her coat she made her way to his door while he walked her out. On his doorstep she turned aound, facing him.
"Thank you...again."
"Buffy?"
"Yeah?"
He paused, not really sure if he should ask her this.
"Why did you come here tonight?"
"Because I knew that you would be there for me. Because I trust you."
She turned around and walked away, and he closed the door.
"Because I trust you..."
He smiled and walked to his window. He looked up at the sky, to see nothing in particular, he was just hoping that she would hear him. Somehow.
"You would have been proud Joyce..."
End.