Title: Protecting you
Disclaimer: No character used in this story is mine.
Note: Fourth installment in the 'Losing you'series. This takes place a couple of weeks after the thirth story, Trusting you.
Protecting you
Buffy Summers had not been this sick in a long, long time. The last time had been when she had to go to the hospital. And quickly after that she had sworn to never get sick again. She hated hospitals that much, of course her body had a mind of his own and right now she had a bad case of the flu. But she had persisted in one thing, she didn't go to the hospital this time, even though her friends had practicially begged her. It seemed that when Buffy got sick, she got really sick and it scared the hell out of her friends.
So now Buffy was home alone, not feeling quite well. Dawn had been invited to a party, and even though she had offered to stay with her sister, Buffy had forced her to go. Saying that she would sneeze on her if she didn't. Willow had been just as hard to get rid of, her best friend had made plans with Tara, but was willing to cancel so she could stay and take care of Buffy. It had taken a long talk before Willow was finally convinced that Buffy could survive a night alone. In a way, being sick wasn't that bad for the slayer, it was nice to be the one people wanted to protect for once. Usually she did all of the protecting.
But now she was also happy to have some peace for a evening, having people around you all day who were pampering you could make a girl very tired. So she decided to take a bath and go to sleep.
She was now in the bathroom, turning on the shower when she heard a noice behind her. Turning around, she was unpleasantly suprised by the person she saw there.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
Spike raised his eyebrows at her question, not moving from his spot.
"Came to see if you're ok. I heard you were sick."
She sighed.
"I'm fine Spike, just fine. You didn't need to come over here."
He finally stepped into the bathroom, never taking his eyes away from her.
"I had to see it you were ok, you were sick."
Buffy knew that he was worried about her, but it gave her no joy, because it meant that he still wasn't over her. It meant that he kept living in his own little world, in which she would stay his forever.
"Stop it Spike, you gotta stop doing this."
"Do what, love?"
She looked at him, taking a deap breath. Hoping that maybe this time he would get the message.
"You gotta stop asking about me, worrying about me, caring about me. It's over Spike, really over. It has been for a long time now. Accept it."
He shook his head.
"This thing we have between us is never over. Don't you feel that, don't you still feel it burning?"
"The only thing I feel burning right now is my skin, because I have a fever. As for us, no, I don't feel it. I'm not even sure if I ever felt it."
Her words never got to him, because he was convinced that she was lying. So he kept holding on to that little shred of hope that told him that she was in denial, that she did love him. She just needed to be reminded by him.
"How can you say you never felt it. You and I, we were love together. We were burning passion, we were consumed with eachother. That's love Buffy, we felt love."
She didn't know what to do anymore, didn't know what to say that would make him understand. But still she tried.
"It wasn't love Spike. What you just described, wasn't love. At least not for me. We were brutal together, and maybe that is love to you, I don't know. You were like an addiction to me, made me feel dark and dangerous and you gave me exactly what I wanted at that time in my life, but it was never love. I'm sorry Spike, but you need to understand that."
Hearing her say that she didn't love him yet again, made him lose his mind. She just had to feel what was between them. Making a sudden move he caught her by the wrist and pulled her over to him, pressing his body up against hers.
"You have to feel it, you have to. This is love Buffy, you have to feel it."
Buffy got scared when he suddenly pulled her over to him, especially when she realised that she didn't have the strenght to get away from him. Normally it would have been no problem, but the flu had made her weak and right now, he was stronger then she was.
"Let me go Spike, you're hurting me."
He didn't listen to her because he was acting on instinct and his instincts told him to show her how much he loved her. He turned her face towards his and brutally kissed her, presssing her much smaller body to the ground.
Meanwhile Buffy was trying real hard to resist, struggling to get him of her, but it was no use, he was to strong. She never felt so helpless her whole life, never so scared. His hands were all over her body and she felt marked, invaded. But she kept on fighting, she bit him, she hit him, it did nothing to him. Eventually it was no use, his weight was to much, his strenght was to much. His obsession to big. So she just lay there on the floor, chanting no all the time, while her mind knew that he would rape her. Because there was nothing she could do to stop him, which scared her more then the psychial pain he was causing her. Not wanting to see him, she closed her eyes. Still saying no over and over.
He felt her surrender to him, and it gave him hope. She would soon feel the love she once felt for him. He was so lost in her that he never saw him coming, until he was suddenly not on Buffy anymore but slammed into the wall, facing a very pissed of Xander Harris.
It took a couple of seconds for Buffy to realise that the weight of Spike was no longer on her. Opening her eyes she saw why. Spike was pinned to the wall, while Xander looked ready to rip him apart with his bare hands. She didn't think she ever saw him this mad before.
Spike wasn't that impressed however.
"Do you mind, we were in the middle of something here."
Xander's answer was sarcastic, his voice very cold.
"I'm so sorry, do you want me to come back later so you can finish raping my best friend?"
Spike laughed.
"I wasn't raping her man, we were always like this."
His answer made Xander lose his selfcontrol, yelling at the vampire.
"Look at her!! Look at what you've done to her!!"
Spike turned to look at Buffy, barely recognising the girl on the floor. She was crying, hugging herself and covered with bruises. She felt him looking at her and looked up, terror in her eyes when they made eyecontact. She was afraid of him. He still wasn't ready to face what he had done however.
"Oh, c'mon Harris, you know that Buffy is a bit of a drama queen."
Spike barely had time to finish his sentence before there was a fist in his face. He had pushed the boy to far, and the result was that Xander sent him flying trough the bathroom.
Buffy watched Xander beat up Spike, watched him let out all of his anger. She never knew he could posses so much rage, and while it gave her some sort of joy, it also scared her. In the middle of the fight she saw him take a stake out of his jacket and she knew she had to interrupt.
"Xander, no..."
Her voice was a whisper, but he still heard her. Looking at her with suprise.
"No? Buff, he was raping you. He deserves this."
She agreed with him, but she also knew that she didn't want Xander to do this. Not because of Spike, but because of him. Xander Harris was not a killer and she wouldn't allow him to become one for her.
"Please, could you just make sure he leaves?"
The pleading in her eyes made him reluctantly obey. He wasn't happy about it, but he would talk to her later. After he had kicked Spike out of her house.
Spike followed him downstairs without saying a word, a smirk on his face. Xander said nothing while he opened the door.
"She just can't kill me Harris, you know that."
Xander grabbed him by his coat, making sure he got the message.
"I would watch your back if I were you Spike. She may not want me to kill you, but I'm very clumbsy. One of these days I will trip and accidently shove a stake trough your heart. And that is no threat, but a promise."
Shoving him out of the door, he closed it. Walking back up the stairs without looking back. Coming into the bathroom he saw Buffy sitting in the same position he left her. Carefully, he took a seat next to her.
"Why didn't you want me to kill him?"
She looked up at him.
"You're a good guy, I didn't want you to kill him because that isn't you. He's not worth it."
"He tried to rape you."
She saw the anger in his eyes, and realised that he would do anything to protect the ones he loved.
"I know, and he would have done it, if it wasn't for you."
He was about to replay when he saw that she was shivering.
"Buff, you're shivering, you need to get out of her and back to bed. C'mon, let me help you up."
He got up and offered her his hand, she hesitated before she got up and took it. Together they made their way to Buffy's room. Once inside he helped her get into bed, while he took a seat on her bed.
"Do you want me to stay with you?"
She shook her head.
"No, it's ok, I'm fine."
He got up, still not sure if he should leave her. Watching him go Buffy realised she wasn't ready to be alone yet.
"Xander!"
"Yes?"
"Please stay."
He didn't ask any questions, but just made his way back to the bed to take his earlier seat again. For a while neither of them said anything, until Buffy broke the silence.
"He was stronger then me..."
Her voice was distant, almost non caring and she didn't look at him.
"Because of the flu?"
"Yeah, because of the flu."
Again it took a long time before she said anything, but this time she did turn to look at him, tears begining to form in her eyes.
"I stopped resisting, does that mean he had a right to do this?"
"No, Buffy, God no, you didn't want him to touch you, he had no right. You know that."
She started to cry and he lay down beside her, wrapping her arms around her, while he let her cry.
"I was so scared Xander, he made me feel so helpless."
The pain she was in caused Xander to hold her even closer to him, made him resent Spike even more. The next hour, he kept listening to her, comforting her and eventually she fell asleep in his arms. Making sure not to wake her, he let go of her and took a seat in the chair by her bed. Sleeping beside her bed for the rest of the night, watching over her.
Buffy woke up the next morning, suprised to see Xander asleep in the chair next to her. The events of the night before suddenly popped up in her mind, and she could understand why he was there. He was protecting her.
"Xander?"
Her voice took him out of his slumber, he never really slept beside her. Afraid that she would need him in the middle of the night.
"Hi."
She smiled.
"Hi."
"How are you?"
"Better, not there yet, but better."
He nodded.
"Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah, I did."
There was a silence in which neither knew what to say. Xander was staring at the carpet when her voice caught his attention.
"I'm gonna let Willow work her magic today. So that she can uninvite Spike into my house, I don't want him anywhere near my family and me."
A smile was seen on his face.
"I can't say I would object to that."
"No, I kinda figured you wouldn't object."
"Are you gonna tell them what happened?"
She thought about it.
"Yeah, I think so, it's gonna be hard, but Dawn trusts him and if I don't tell them she might go out and visit him without me there. I don't want her to be alone with him. She needs to know what he almost did to me. What he's capable of."
"Again, I think you're right."
She grinned and he just watched her while her eyes lit up. Glad that he could have been there for her.
"Why did you come by last night anyway?"
"Willow told me you were home alone, and I was worried about you. Thought we could spend the night watching tv or something."
She nodded, knowing that he cared, thankful that he cared. Getting out of bed, she walked over to him, sat on his lap, and hugged him.
"Ok Buff, what did I do to deserve this almost lapdance?"
She smiled.
"You protected me last night. You comforted me, you stayed with me in that lousy chair. You deserve this."
She got up. He stopped her by grabbing her hand.
"I'm your best friend Buff, it's my job to do these things. I can't let anyboby hurt you."
"I know what you mean."
She released his hand to go to the bathroom and he got up to make some breakfast downstairs.
"Xander?"
He stopped to look at her.
"Yeah?"
"You know I love you, right?"
He nodded.
"I know, I love you too."
She smiled.
"You're some friend, Xander Harris."
He closed the door behind him, but she still heard his response.
"Anything for you Buff. Anything for you."
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The End