To Look Again
Prue's Anguish… Piper's Torment
Prue sat alone in her bedroom, she had just returned from the hospital about an hour ago. Soft tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked at a photo of Piper, Phoebe and herself. She stroked her finger across the glass and wiped away the tears that had landed on it, suddenly there was a knock at the door. Prue quickly wiped away the tears and took a deep breath in,
"Come in," she said quietly, the door opened and Piper stood on the other side,
"Hey… welcome home," said Piper, she hovered in the doorway – not intentionally but it was always difficult when Prue came home – she never knew what to say to her. Prue smiled,
"Hi, you miss me?" she said jokingly, Prue always made a joke out of everything and this cut Piper even deeper.
"Of course, always," smiled Piper, she paused for a second and then turned to walk out the room, "erm… Grams says that dinner is almost ready," she said and then turned and left. She closed the door behind her and wandered to the bathroom, she walked in and shut the door. Slowly she felt the tears mounting up behind her eyes. She closed her eyes and felt a single tear escape, she opened her eyes and looked towards the ceiling, hold it together… just through dinner she told herself.
Meanwhile back in Prue's bedroom, Prue still sat on her bed, she hadn't moved since Piper had been in. She slowly got up off the bed and walked over to the mirror, her face was red… it was obvious she had crying. She lifted her foundation and dabbed it on her cheeks, she took another deep breath in and accepted that she would have to go down for something to eat. She walked towards the door and opened it, she headed for the bathroom. Piper had left there a few moments earlier, she closed the door behind her and sat on the side of the bath, she reached into the drawer that was closest to her and lifted out a razor. She held it in her hands for a few seconds and the carefully broke the blade out of its frame. She binned the frame and then watched as the blade glinted in the light – mesmerised by it – slowly she pulled up her sleeve and revealed an arm full of cuts and scars. She brought the blade down and rested it on her wrist, its just a release… just one small cut… won't do any harm… she told herself quietly. Without thinking any more she slowly began to draw the blade across her wrist…
***
Phoebe, Prue and Piper sat round the dinner table and sat silently waiting for Grams to bring their meals. Piper asked if she could help but as usual Grams refused, Prue looked towards Phoebe and Piper in turn who both smiled and then looked in a different direction. Prue sighed and also looked away, suddenly Grams walked in she placed plates in front of all three girls and put one down for herself.
"So, lets eat girls. I for one am starving," she smiled, and lifted her fork. "So Piper what did you get up to at school today?" she asked casually,
"Nothing…" sighed Piper trying to avoid a conversation – she hadn't told Grams about the school psychologist yet – and she wasn't planning to.
"You mean you just did nothing," pushed Grams, "You just sat around all day,"
"I mean it was just like every other day," sighed Piper,
"OK, then Phoebe what happened at your school?" said Grams,
"Well, Britney told Kristy that Madison told Scott that I like him when I actual fact I don't, so I told Madison to tell Kristy to tell Britney to tell Scott that it was like so not true but anyway, now Scott likes me but I don't like him and he keeps following me around and stuff and its so weird. So tomorrow…" Phoebe story continued on like that but Piper's mind wandered after a few seconds.
****
"Grams… could you come in her for a second?" said Piper as she stood in her bedroom door, Grams walked over and entered her granddaughters room,
"What's up Piper?" asked Grams as she sat down on Piper's bed,
"The school psychologist was in school today… and my guidance teacher sent me to speak to her." Said Piper, Grams looked shocked,
"Why? Why would your teacher send you to see someone like that?" asked Grams,
"Erm… well, the school… erm my guidance teacher thought that well I had some issues that I wasn't sharing with people. And that there's some things I need to work through with professional help," sighed Piper,
"Why would he think this?" asked Grams, tears slowly began to form at the corners of her eyes,
"Because…I've been… writing poems, and things… and I've been upset at school… and they think that I'm repressing things…" Piper stuttered,
"But that's not true…you're not repressing anything," said Grams, confidently,
"Yes I have," sighed Piper, "I've been bottling things up and hiding things for you but I can't do it anymore… its just too much for me Grams," Piper was soon sobbing, as Grams held back her tears,
"Piper, I know that things have been difficult for us recently… they've been difficult for all of us but you have to understand that we all have to focus on helping Prue get better… because as soon as she's better things will start improving for us," said Grams,
"But Grams you're not listening to me. I can't deal with this any more… I'm weak, and I can't… its just too hard, its been so long and there's so much pain and its been happening for… going on for so long. I can't take any more of this, Grams I can't deal with it and I need support, I need it. Please Grams…" sobbed Piper,
"We need to focus on Prue… if we help her, then things for us will improve. I know they will, you just have to be strong." Sighed Grams as she stood up. "We won't have to be strong much longer, Prue is dealing with this now," With that Grams left the room, leaving Piper sobbing.
****
"Piper. Piper?" asked Prue, Piper jolted back to reality and glanced quickly at her sister,
"Sorry… I was… daydreaming," sighed Piper, "You were saying,"
"I was just going to ask if you were ok," sighed Prue,
"Yeah, sure, just daydreaming… that's all. Grams, can I be excused, I've got loads of homework to do," said Piper, lifting her plate off the table,
"Sure, don't' work to hard," smiled Grams. Piper left the room and headed straight upstairs; she walked into her bedroom and threw herself on her bed. After sobbing for an hour or so, Piper fell asleep. She was falling asleep easily these days, her body was both mentally and physically exhausted she couldn't keep her eyes open after crying for more than an hour.
Meanwhile downstairs in dining room Prue also cleared her plate and headed upstairs once more, she headed back towards the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She started running the hot water into the bath and waited until it was about half full before adding cold water, slowly she lowered her body into the steaming water and welcomed the heat. Slowly she lifted her razor and began shaving her legs, slowly as she dragged the razor up and down her leg she felt the familiar feeling once more. Prue quickly slammed the razor down and pulled the plug, slowly the water level got lower and lower until Prue was not longer sitting in any water. She began shaking, partly from being cold but partly because she was scared… scared how bad things were getting once more.