Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Charmed, the song in this fic is Evanescence – Taking Over Me, which I also do not own.
A/N: I don't know if San Francisco has a pier but for this chapter's sake lets just decide that it does.
To Look Again – Taking Over Me
You don't remember me,
But I remember you,
I lie awake and try,
So hard not to think of you,
But who can decide what they dream,
And dream I do…
Piper ran through the streets of San Francisco, her hair blowing violently in the winds and swirling round her face. She kept running despite her legs aching and screaming for her to stop, her heart was beating faster than normal inside her chest, she felt if she stopped it would break her chest. She continued running, she wasn't sure where she was going, or even where she was but she knew that she couldn't stop, if she stopped it would be like giving up and she couldn't do that… she could never give up the fight to survive. But recently it had been so hard not to give in, she continued running, trying desperately not to give in. Slowly she felt her legs become weaker and weaker, and soon enough she felt them buckle at the knees and she fell to the ground. She hit the ground hard, her hands slammed against the cold ground in order for her to stop her head hitting the pavement. She lay on the ground for a second, not moving, not thinking, not crying, just lying. She heard the skies above growl with a clap of thunder, and soon felt small drops of water hit her back, suddenly the image of Prue's wounds flashed into her head and the tears fell.
Before long the tears were falling as violently as the now pouring rain, Piper found herself soaked to the skin, her clothes sticking to her cold flesh. She pulled herself up off the cold; wet ground and looked down at the outline of her body, the ground that she had kept dry. Within seconds the shape was gone and all the ground was covered in rain, which fell aggressively from the skies and drain into the drains as if never there, the only way she knew it had been was the wet patches on the ground and the puddles that had formed.
I believe in you,
I'll give up everything,
Just to find you,
I have to be with you,
To live, to breath,
You're taking over me…
Piper slowly began walking through the empty streets, her footsteps echoing into the darkness and splashing in the occasional puddle as she went, the rain kept on falling, as did her tears. She soon found herself walking towards the pier; she heard the waves crashing on the jagged rocks at the edge of it, she continued to walk until she found herself standing at the end of it. She looked down towards the waves, they were so methodical… she knew exactly what they were going to do, they would come into shore, crash on the rocks, create some sea spray and then slowly get smaller as they reached land. Somehow knowing what the waves were going to do was comforting to her, she knew that they would not change so suddenly. Any change they made was gradual and not only that, expected. She knew that the waves went in and they went out, that's all they did… they didn't know anything else and were contented being like that. So peaceful, so expected, so calming… why can't everything be like the waves… predictable… why does everything have to violent, and hurtful… why is there so much pain? Slowly Piper lifted her head to the skies, she had never really had a big faith in God and wasn't sure what she believed, but talking to someone made her feel better, blaming God for what happened helped her,
"Do you think this is funny? I'll bet you do, you like to see someone suffer… is that how you get your kicks in heaven? Is my life like some stupid soap opera? Am I just someone for you to toy with! Why do you let her suffer like this, how can you? You're meant to love everyone but you let her suffer, you let me suffer, and Grams and Phoebe and everyone… how can you possibly help anyone if you let them stay in this pain… I deserve some sort of happiness… I'm a good person, a good student and a good granddaughter and dammit I'm a great sister! So I do deserve… no I demand a little happiness in my life and hers. And I will stand in this very spot until you make her pain go away… I demand that you make her better, and take away her pain! I deserve it and I fucking demand it!" she yelled, looking towards the skies, she felt more tears come to her eyes as there was no answer… she knew that there wouldn't be an answer but now that she hadn't gotten one she felt worse for it. She looked down at the water; the waves were so compelling, so attractive in the way that they were predictable,
"Fine," she muttered, she took a step closer to the edge of the pier, "Fine," she looked down at the waves, the waves the would consume her…
Have you forgotten all I know?
And all we had?
You saw me mourning my love for you,
And touched my hand,
I knew you loved me then,
She looked down at the waves and then back at the sky, slowly a tear rolled off her cheek and into the water below her,
"If you won't take my pain away, if you would let all this hurt and pain and suffering take over me, my world and everything that I know… I can end it all myself, I don't need your help to do that… and I don't need to worry about if you'll stop me because I know that you won't… you don't stop anyone from hurting themselves or others. You don't care what happens to me, you couldn't care less if I jumped or if I went back home and had a good cry… no one cares what I do. They all just want to see Prue getting better, but that's not going to happen. By not helping her you're telling me that I'm going to lose my sister. Aren't you? I know that's what your doing, you're probably listening to all this hurt and pain in my heart and laughing, turning on headphones to block out my cries… so I'll jump, I'll end things for myself!" she yelled,
I believe in you,
I'd give up everything just to find you,
I have to be with you,
To live, to breath,
You're taking over me…
Piper took a few more steps towards the side of the pier, the heavy rain pelted against her skin causing it to become sore and red, he freezing skin still shivered and her teeth chattered together, her heart was still beating fast, and her breathing became shallow. Not for much longer, she thought to herself, in a few minutes I'll be in the waves, they can consume me and devour everything about me… and I can never be hurt again… I won't hurt anymore; my pain will be gone and so will I… I'll finally be free from all this shit! Slowly she held her foot out over the water, and held it in mid air, for her this was not a suicide. It was not a way to end her life, it was a way to be free, to free herself from the pain… dying was the consequence of freedom, but it was a consequence that she fully accepted, something that she knew had to happen… in order for her to be free, and live without pain, or fear, or hurt, or anger, or anything that could hurt her in anyway she had to die… it was her only way out…
"You don't care… no one cares if I die… I'm dead already…" she sobbed loudly, "I died inside long ago, everyone sees me as being dead… so they won't mourn me… you can't mourn for something that died long ago…"
"I care," said a voice from behind her,
I look in the mirror and see your face,
If I look deep enough,
So many things inside that are,
Just like you are taking over…
Piper pulled her leg back onto land and spun round, her mouth dropped to speak but no words escaped when she saw a soaked Dan standing behind her. She closed her mouth and tried to think of what to say, but for the second time that night she was speechless, slowly she felt the tears begin to fall once more, slowly she felt her knees get weak once more and she fell fore ward, collapsing onto the wet ground that lay before her. She pulled her legs close to her chest and lay shaking; crying as the rain fell onto her collapsed body. Dan ran quickly over to her and placed his jacket round her, he pulled her close to him in hope of comforting her and warming her up. I give up…she thought to herself, she had finally stopped running…