Chapter 2: Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover

It's a miracle she doesn't cause a twenty-five-car pile up on her way back to Los Angeles. Tears limit her visibility worse than a torrential downpour. If asked to recall the emotions and thoughts running through her mind, she couldn't tell you. The fear and the shock and the hurt and the fury and the confused and the hatred blur; ambiguously smearing together, creating an impossible kaleidoscope without distinction.

"Miss Bristow, I've never met you before in my life."

What does that -- he - mean? Why would he say such hurtful words? How could he not remember her? Was that even really Vaughn? She hates to think it, but could he be a clone as well? But if he is a clone, why on Earth isn't he working for the CIA? Wouldn't they double him to create another mole????

No, he's not doubled, that makes no sense. That was Vaughn; it wasn't her Vaughn,but the man she saw is the Vaughn she knows -- he just doesn't know her.

Why? What the hell is going on? Is he undercover; but as a psychologist? That's just crazy. How could that be beneficial towards a takedown of an international crime syndicate? And if he was undercover, was his place bugged? Is that why he pretended to not know her? Did her confession compromise his mission? Did she put him in danger? Was she already in danger? Was he in the witness protection program? But still, if he was in the program, why wouldn't he remember her???!!!

No, that can't be right either. As for being undercover, Vaughn might be a good actor, but not when it comes to her. He could never hide his feelings from her. And when she walked into the living room, he wasn't shocked at all.

He really didn't know her.

So there is only one option left, and Sydney knows what it is: the CIA is to blame. Her "friends" have all of the answers.

There's a conspiracy afloat, and she plans on sinking it.

Speeding into the CIA parking lot, she slams the car door shut and barges through the doors to the Joint Task Force. Practically running down the hallway, she reaches the Rotunda: Weiss sits at his desk and Marshall putters around his office. Dixon's office door is shut: he's in a meeting.

Sydney marches towards Weiss first -- who in turn looks up and gulps -- and points at him. "You! Right now." Weiss knows better than to argue. He jumps out of his seat and follows Sydney, who has already arrived at Marshall's office. She flings open the door and notifies a befuddled Marshall, "Dixon's office. Now." Marshall hesitates, but Weiss nods and Marshall follows along.

Sydney storms into Dixon's office, interrupting his meeting that is with, of all people, Kendall.

Good, Sydney thinks. I want him here when the sh-t hits the fan.

"What the fuck did you do?" Her barely audible voice demands attention from the four men staring at her. Kendall and Dixon remain unresponsive and will not meet her glare. Weiss closes the door behind him, putting his hands in his pockets, and remaining towards the back of the room. Marshall glances at Weiss asking 'Do I Really Have To Be Here' with his eyes. Weiss nods and Marshall breathes heavier. He, as well as the others, know -- Sydney is out for the kill.

Dixon starts to say, "What are you talking about," but Sydney only allows the "what" to get out before screaming:

"You know damn well what the fuck I'm talking about. I just saw Vaughn. He's living in Santa Barbara. He's a psychologist. He never worked for the CIA. He doesn't know me."

"Sydney..." Dixon says in vain.

"WHY DOESN'T HE REMEMBER ME?" Her shrill voice booms not only through the office, but throughout the entire Task Force facility. "WHAT did you do to him? I know you all are behind this! This is the only conclusion I could come up with that makes some kind of sense. You did something to him! He wouldn't forget me! He would never forget me."

Tears run down Sydney's cheeks and she hastily wipes them dry. Dixon is the first to endeavor making contact by coming from behind his desk and placing his hand on Sydney's shoulder. She knocks it away.

"You did this!" Sydney directs her statement towards Kendall.

Initially Kendall refuses to answer. In the end, he simply declares, "Sydney, I had absolutely nothing to do with what happened."

"So I am right then." It is more of a statement than a question.

Kendall continues, "Everything concerning Vaughn is classified Omega-17."

"Classified?" Sydney gasps. The word obliterates her last ounce of sanity. She is way past retaining anything resembling composure. Powerfully she repeats, "CLASSIFIED?! You will not tell me why the man I love acts like he's never met me…because it's classified?"

Kendall averts his eyes. Something is wrong: very, very, very wrong.

"FUCK CLASSIFICATION! DE-classify it - NOW!"

Dixon informs her, "It's not under our jurisdiction. Technically we aren't even supposed to know."

"But you DO know!" Sydney exclaims, turning back to Kendall, she starts rapidly firing: "How are you involved? Does this have to do with Project Black Hole? Rambaldi? The past five years? Why won't you tell me what the truth is? I need to know! I deserve to know!"

She looks around the room, rage taking control. "It wasn't enough you took away my father…you had to take him away from me, too?!?"

Still silence.

"What happened?" Sydney cries. "Tell me, Goddammit!"

The air of the room suffocates the guilty. Sydney huffs, glaring at each of them, waiting for answers.

Marshall breaks.

Timidly, he lets it out in one breath, "Hehadhismemoryerased."

"What?" Sydney snaps her body around and faces Marshall. Marshall looks to Weiss for guidance, but doesn't get any love. Marshall clears his throat in a "please-do-not-kill-the-messenger" fashion. "He had his memory erased."

Marshall gulps with nervous apprehension. The bomb he has just dropped didn't denotate on time -- now they are waiting for the delayed explosion. In addition, Marshall prays Sydney will not kill him. After all, he is a daddy now. There's one single drop of sweat on his forehead.

"HE ERASED ME?" Sydney's squeals and hisses intertwine, creating a horrible sound.

"Sydney, no." Marshall shudders.

"Then why doesn't he remember me?"

Marshall corrects, "Well, see, he did go through with the procedure, he… uh didn't want to remember…"

"That sonofabitch!" Anger wins out in the emotion contest.

Dixon reports, "We thought you were dead. He thought you were dead."

Sydney finds no reason to halt her emotional outburst now. "How could he? He just erased me? I meant nothing to him? He just tossed me aside? That bastard. Did he do it right after he received the news, or did he at least wait until the fucking funeral? I thought… I thought that…"

"That what? That he loved you?" Weiss finally decides to speak. Nonchalantly, he tells Sydney the truth: "Sydney, Vaughn loved you so much your death killed him."

Sydney hangs her head. She feels her knees give way and she sinks onto the couch, weeping.

Weiss changes neither his tone nor his expression. "When you died, Vaughn -- spiritually, emotionally, mentally -- died with you. He couldn't function. He lost the ability to live. Life lost all purpose for him. He drank everyday, turned nasty and confrontational towards everyone in the office. He became a problem in the field, he was just looking for a way out. He just dug himself deeper and deeper into an early grave.

"He had appointments with Barnett daily, but they didn't help. Finally, it got to the point where he actually…" Sydney raises her head, knowing the rest of the sentence. Weiss silently nods. "It wasn't a matter of 'if,' it was a matter of 'when.' That's when he was committed to a CIA hospital. He remained in their care until the procedure was performed.

"The CIA was experimenting with this new technology: a type of amnesia which allowed the patient to block out memories -- torture, codes, assassinations, dead partners… And well, Syd... He was a candidate for the preliminary study. And in the end, he agreed to go through with it. Frankly, as I see it, he made the right decision. As hard as that might sound, it's better to not remember rather than sitting locked up in some fucking asylum."

Sydney doesn't know how to react. This is her fault; her father's death is her fault; and now Vaughn's amnesia is her fault. Why? Because her picture was drawn on some page centuries ago. Because of her need for revenge. Because she is her mother's daughter.

The four men watch her sit on the couch and cry. She cries and tries (and fails) to absorb all that Weiss has just told her. The numbness returns, with only one question still lingering…it's the only one that matters: "How… Can he… get his memories back?"

"Honestly, I don't know," Dixon replies. "Once his memory was erased, all of the files and details regarding him were classified and nothing else was ever said. I didn't ever know he was in Santa Barbara. The last time I attempted to check up on him, he was in Arlington."

Sydney nods. There seems to be nothing else to do.

Kendall speaks up, hoping to be of some service. "I can get you the number of the doctor who performed the procedure. Her name is Lauren Reed."