Okay guys, here goes Chapter next. I have to warn you that I skip a little
here, but assume what you will. I am aware I did that, so don't mention it,
just go with it.
Reviews!
Tensleep: I LOVE your reviews! Seriously....you have no idea. Wow....I loved how hyper you were. LOL. *Keira gags at the pickle comment* and *I laugh too hard to contain myself and wish for a pickle* LOL. We are glad you enjoyed it soo much and if you want to hear more, then we'll discuss it....sometime. LOL. Have fun! Talk to ya Later.
Oblivious Misconception: We had a lot of fun with that chapter, Soda is funny. Courtesy of Keira, she had a lot of fun, but we needed to break the ice a bit. I hope you like this chapter. Read on! And thanks for reading at the expense of weird looks from fellow drivers. I've gotten that in my day to. Enjoy!
Jordyn(): I know you aren't reading this and franky, dear, I don't give a damn. Im writing this for my own pleasure, so here goes. One, why in the hell did you read nineteen chapters just to send us a flame three sentences long? I mean, how long did you spend reading that? Two, if you cared to read the A/N which is there for a reason, then you would know we knew this wasn't original, and it was never meant to be. So, who's the idiot now? Yeah, that's right you. If in fact this was some kind of weird joke or you are bored out of your mind and can find nothing better to do then be reading something you hate, please tell me why I should even consider what you think. Why should I give a shit?
sodapop'll-be-mine: I loved your review! Thanks! Wow, Pony innocent, well, he is now, but not for long! LOL. Enjoy the chapter!
Okay, guys, I think that's it. Have fun and enjoy!
Chapter 20 (Darry's POV)
I made it back to the hospital in about forty minutes or so from the time I left, and went back to tell one of the nurses I was back. Then I went and sat down in the waiting room.
I had no idea what I was gonna do. It was almost as bad as when mom and dad died and I had to deal with funerals, court, fees, and everything else. The advantage this time was that I wasn't being thrown into a fire that I hadnt ever seen before. I mean, I least had an idea of what to expect for half of it. But that didn't make me feel much better at that point. I was so worried about things, and especially about Reesa. I mean, sure I worried over Skye a bit, but at least she was on her way to getting better. I just couldn't believe all of this was happening. Where had I gone wrong?
I was glad to see that the social worker had gone for now, and I felt a little relief over not being watched constantly. Couldn't they just leave us alone right now? Sure, they had to know stuff, but couldn't they give our family some time to cope? What kind of sick people were they?
I layed my head back against the wall, trying to let go of my anger for everything. It wasn't going to help me to be mad at the state or the bastards that did this, it was my fault and I had to face it.
A tear slipped down my cheek, and I impatiently wiped it away. "Now is not the time for this shit!", I told myself. I wanted so badly to get up and break a wall down, but knew it wouldn't make things better, although I think I might've felt better.
I said I wouldn't ever let anything happen to them, but I did. How could I? How could they trust me now? Maybe it was better that the state take them...NO! Don't start doing that! God dammit! None of them would do well if they were sent away. Hell, Reesa and Skye would get so rebellious that the state would send them back to live with me, saying I was a good parent. I smiled at that thought, it was true. Our family is just too stubborn to be broken apart.
With a good thought finally running through my head, for the first time that night, I fell fast asleep in the waiting room. I guess I really needed it, huh?
The next thing I knew, someone was shaking me awake, "Uh...Mr. Curtis? Mr. Curtis..."
I opened my eyes despite the protesting my body did.
"Yeah?" I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake myself up. The doctor was standing in front of me, and I knew that meant I had to wake up. I could've kicked myself for falling asleep. Sure, I needed it, but Reesa needed me more. How could I? Besides, I hate falling asleep in public places. No matter, you always do something incredibly embarrassing like drool or something.
The doctor gave me a minute to get a hold of myself, and waited for me to say the first word. Once I was fully awake, or at least as good as it could get at that point, I looked up to him.
"How is she? What happened to her earlier?"
He bit his lip momentarily and sat down next to me. "Earlier your sister was having a fever induced seizure. We've been fighting it since. It's a battle zone back there."
"Are we winning?"
"I think we're coming out on top, but I can't guarantee that we will win in the end. Her body's been fighting us like nothing else."
I looked down to the floor, "What are you saying?"
"Your sister has developed an infection, the same one that your younger sister is also fighting."
"But, you let Skye go home, so it can't be that bad, can it?"
"The difference is that Skye, although weak, still has defenses against this infection. Her body is not so weak that it cannot put forth something to fight this thing off, and with antibiotics, she should be fine and over this in just a few days. The problem we are encountering with Reesa presents us with an entirely different case although it's the same infection. Reesa is too weak right now to fight it. Her body has resorted to raising its temperature to kill the infected cells but in the process it's killing itself. Basically, her body cant fight any other way at this point, so its using its last resort...to an extreme. The second part of this is that we are limited in our treatment options right now. She is on soo many medications that we cant take her off of, that we are concerned about putting her on something else. Her blood stream is overflowing with all kinds of stuff, and we are afraid that she might have a bad reaction to so many medications. At this point we've resorted to using creams and such in the infected area to try and fight it that way, although it isn't as effective. We just don't feel good about taking a chance with giving her more medication, a bad reaction could be the last straw for her."
I took a deep breath, and looked down to the floor. Maybe things weren't getting any better. I mean, I didn't really think they were, but I was sure hoping that things would be better when I got back, when I woke up. I looked down to my watch, I had been sleeping for two hours. So it had been a long battle.
I rubbed my temples, and let my head slide down so my hands were resting in my hair. Somehow I thought that would help, but it didn't. I looked back up, pleading in my mind for the doctor to give me some good news.
"I came out to let you know, that I'm letting you go in there to be with her. There's going to be a lot of stuff going on, but I think that you need to be in there. She's been asking for people whenever she's awake, and she's starting to fight us, so maybe you being there will help. Listen, it might be a bit crazy, and...hard for you. To keep her fever down as much as possible, we've resorted back to a more traditional means. A few times we have gone as far as to put her in an ice-bath for a few minutes, which helps...but it isn't fun. Do you think you can handle that? If you're in there, we are going to need your help."
I was so surprised, but it almost scared me. Could I handle it? I thought so, but what if I couldn't? But I had to, like he said, maybe Reesa would be more calm if I went in there.
"Yeah. She'll probably be a bit better with me around. She has a horrible fear of people she doesn't know...and...Yeah, I'll handle it."
The doctor smiled reassuringly, like he thought it would help. But it was the thought that counted not the fact that it didn't help. "Follow me."
We went back to the same room, but this time it was more open, with two or three people in there. They had drawn the curtain back and there was a ton more stuff in there. A few bins of ice, some bowls of water near the top of her bedside, a stack of extra sheets, and next to it a second stack of towels. But I ignored them for the most part and made my way to the side of the bed that the nurse was not standing on. She was busy wringing water onto Reesa's forehead, and keeping her as cool as possible.
At that point they had a thick sheet over most of Reesa's body, and I hoped it stayed there. I didn't really want to know if I wanted to know what that site would be. That was the part that I thought I wasn't sure if I could handle.
I just held her hand, glancing over at the doctor who was standing with another doctor talking. They were really engaged in their conversation and he didn't notice my gaze, but I didn't mind.
When I looked back down, I saw that Reesa had opened her eyes. She gazed at me intently, her wild eyes feverish. I had never seen her eyes like that. I mean, they changed with her mood, but I hadn't ever seen that. They were so...wild and blank. All I could see in them was confusion and fear. But I hated that. She always had something else there, I don't know if it was gall, courage, hope...or what, but there was something missing that had never gone before. Not to mention that her eyes were incredibly dull. See, she was like Soda when it came to her eyes, well not the color, but let me explain. Both of them showed their emotions in the eyes. When Soda was happy, there was a certain quality that shown through his eyes, it was what told you if he was happy, not the reassuring smile he was soo good at. Well, Reesa was like that too. Only her eyes actually changed colors. It was real freaky to me, when I first noticed it, but now it was just normal.
But what I saw right then scared me. Even as upset as I had ever seen Reesa, which was pretty upset, she always had a little of that happy, cool blue left in her eyes. She always had a redeeming quality in them that told you she would be fine, and she always was. There had always been enough of a good thing, enough life in her, to show through and grace the world. To tell the truth, her eyes told more than even Soda knew. I could tell if she was sick by her eyes, or if she was on a high, or down low. The thing that scared me was that I didn't know what this meant.
As she stared at me in confusion, I studied them more closely. I wanted to see what was going on her head behind them, but I couldn't tell. Her eyes were so dull, so empty. They had not a hint of that cool blue that everyone loved so much about Reesa in them. They were gray, like the mid-tone on your average black and white TV screen, except with no sparkle, or movement, just there.
"Honey, everything is fine. I'm here for you now." I said, wiping a drop of sweat off her forehead before it slipped down into her eye.
She didn't move or respond, but sat, her wild eyes suddenly darting from corner to corner of whatever world she was in right then. Wow, she was sick.
The doctor walked over, checking her temperature and glancing at me. He finished up what he was doing, and set the chart down on the side table. Then he walked out, stopping to tell one of the medical people something. I didn't know if the glance was bad or good...probably bad at that point, and I had no idea what was going through his head, but he obviously wasn't going to tell me.
Over the next few hours, which felt like eternity, he came in and out, checking and rechecking, changing medications, and giving further directions. Then he would leave again and come back a half an hour later. I think I would have fallen asleep if Reesa didn't wake up and start asking for weird things. She was real delirious, and she was even starting to ask for Dad. She always had wanted him there when she was sick, well, when she was little. He wouldn't leave the room when we were sick, so it was a comfort thing. What bothered me was that Reesa didn't ask for him anymore, she had faced that our parents were dead, so she had to be pretty out of it to not understand why he wasn't there.
Anyway, between trying to stay awake, trying to sort things out, keeping the cops out, trying to decide what the doctors glances meant, and trying to keep Reesa somewhat calm, it turned out to be a long few hours.
Finally, I decided to get up and call Soda. I needed to check in, to make sure things were okay. I got up and left while Reesa was fast asleep, or at least seemed to be, and went over to the phone in the next hall over.
Soda picked up fairly quickly. I asked him how things were and then the conversation turned in other directions. Basically, Soda wanted me to go home, and I knew that I should, but I was scared that I would be needed if I left or something. I mean, sure Soda would be there, but what if he couldn't do anything? What if it was something that the guardian had to do? Even as exhausted as I was, I wasn't thinking of myself.
Anyway, he eventually talked me into going home, and to tell the truth, I was really glad that he had. I was completely beat, and I was getting short tempered already. So I left pretty quickly after that, making it home in record time before falling asleep.
(Soda's POV)
A long morning was turning into an even longer day. I didn't know it was possible for it to be so long. Sure, I had Pony to keep me company and I wasn't exactly anticipating anything, but it was still one of those days you know? It wasn't helping much that I had only been able to sleep around two or three hours before I woke up. Why not go back to sleep you ask? Simple – I couldn't. I don't know how or why, but I just couldn't. Something was keeping me awake and it wasn't welcome at all. Perhaps it was the nagging feeling that I was forgetting something. Hmm... Oh well.
I noticed that Darry had been back at some point while I was out. Pony was sound asleep in our bed, officially dead to the world, and I know he didn't just walk home. No... we had learned our lesson with that one. It's too easy to get jumped around here and obviously too dangerous to go walking by yourself. I hadn't ever personally been on the receiving end of a brutal beating all by myself, but I had seen the after effects of it and it is the most unappealing thing imaginable.
I also noticed that Dally was no where to be seen. That surprised me. I was sure he would've stayed and crashed somewhere, but apparently not. I don't remember if he ever made it out of the car or not, actually. Shows how observant I am when I need sleep. Well, where ever he was I could pretty much guarantee he was knocked out. Although I /I he can run on no sleep, you could always depend on him to run out of energy at one point or another.
Ahh, I remembered what it was I was forgetting. Darry. Well, obviously I had thought of him, but I didn't take into consideration a couple of things. I think he may need a little bit of shuteye himself. Because, you know, no one is Superman.
Great. That means I have to get off the couch, go to the hospital, take his place, and want to bash my head into the wall. Whhhhhhhhhhy? He's old enough to take care of himself. I shouldn't have to remind him that he doesn't have to worry all the time. Why do I have to be so damn sensitive to his needs? Man....
"PONY!" I called out.
Nothing.
"PONY!"
Nada.
"PONYBOY!"
"Shut up!" Skye called, sounding very unhappily disturbed from her sleep. Oh well. "Gawd! He ain't hearin' ya."
"I know," I sighed. Damn it. Why don't I ever get to be lazy? Too many of us are lazy to let me be. For once I'd love to sleep in and get an adequate amount of sleep. Is that too much to ask? I sat up slowly and rubbed at my eyes. I probably looked like the walking dead. Swell.
I made myself get up off the couch and wandered the length to my room. Sure enough, once I pushed the door open I saw him crashed, sprawled out across the entire bed, just as I had left him before. His tee shirt was raised on one side and I could see where his stomach was still taped up. Maybe I shouldn't disturb him. He was still recovering himself, after all. He looked on the pale side and his bruises were sticking out like splattered paint on a white canvas. It looked very unpleasant.
Come to think of it, waking Pony up wouldn't do a whole lot of good. Sure, he may try his best to fend off anybody coming back for seconds, but from what we'd been able to see, he wasn't able to before. And what happened last night? I know it was the reversed role, with Skye keeping an eye on him, but it wasn't even more than twelve hours later and I know Pony wasn't in much better shape, and this time whatever Skye had in her to prevent something is gone. Let's face it. She can't fend for herself worth shit.
Since I was up and moving and Skye was obviously not asleep I decided to go check on her. That's what I was here for, wasn't it? Darry sent me home to keep an eye on her and I had slept through the first part. I suppose I didn't mind it too much, because I didn't have anything else better to do, but it would be so much better if there wasn't the need for it either.
I pushed her door open and found that I was wrong. She was asleep. Maybe it had been a temporary thing. That's one thing you can always count on – once she's out she's out. If you don't want her involved in something or have something planned and it's better that she not be around, make sure she's asleep. Then you don't have to worry about it.
It wasn't really necessary to wake her up so I left again. There was nothing to do! No good TV on, no one around (or awake) to keep me company, nothing. Switching places with Darry wouldn't be any more exciting, but at least I wouldn't feel like I was wasting my time, right?
Speaking of the devil, the phone rang right as I made my way back into the kitchen. Convenient.
"Yello?"
"Hey, Sodapop. How's it going?" It was Darrel. This was /I convenient.
"Hmm, not bad. Could be better." If he wanted the truth...
"Well, what does that mean?"
"I'm bored."
"Oh," he said. "How's Skye and Pon?"
"Asleep. At least they were a minute ago. I told you I was bored."
"Right. Right. So, nothing I need to be aware of?"
"I dunno. What do you need to know?"
"I...don't know."
This was a real intellectual conversation. I might as well speak my mind, right? "Darry, I think you should come home for awhile."
"I can't. I can't leave Reesa all by herself. Plus, the doctors said that there might be instances that they have to fill me in on."
"Can't I do that?"
"Would you want to? Soda, you can stay home all you want, why would you hang around here if you didn't have to?"
"Because, you need to sleep. You can't run on nothing, Dar. I know you're tired, why don't you come home and sleep for a couple of hours and I'll fill in for you over there?" Was this not logical? It made sense to me. He didn't have to handle everything on his own.
"No, no. You sleep. You were up all night, too." "But I didn't have to roof houses all day and then stay up all night into the next day. Besides, I've been sleeping for awhile. Go ahead, Darry, you don't have one good excuse not to come home."
"Wanna bet?"
"Darry! I can take care of it! How hard can it be? Seriously, man, come home. You're forgetting two things anyway."
"And that would be...?"
Oh, he had got to be kidding me. "The twins?"
"Oh... Well, they're okay aren't they? You just said they were both sleeping."
"That's not the point. I think they might want you around some of the time." This wasn't really easy to explain. I'd try my best, but I don't know how far I'd get.
"Well, when they wake up, let me know and –"
"Darry, I don't think you /I." He was making this as far from easy as he could. "They're gonna want you around some of the time, sleeping or not. They just want you here."
"... Really? Did they say that? Who said that? That doesn't make sense..." He sounded so confused but at the same time awed that someone would even want his attention. To tell you the truth, I was too. And I was the one saying it... go figure.
"Sure it does. Darry, think of it this way." Here goes nothing. "Remember the first game you were injured in?"
"Yeah?"
"Who did you request to see first when they told you your family was coming down to see you?"
"...Dad."
"And when you won the state championship, who was the first one you ran to?"
"How am I supposed to remember? That was several years go." He wasn't catching on yet. He's going to get me flustered soon if he doesn't start to.
"Well, I do. It was dad. The first time you were dumped? Who did you go to for comfort and solace? Lemme answer for you. Dad."
"What are you trying to get at, Sodapop? Dad ain't around anymore. What are you trying to say?" Perhaps I shouldn't have brought it up, but he needed to see it sometime. He couldn't keep going on acting like he didn't know. Whether he did or not, I'm not sure, but he had to realize it /I.
"Darry, I don't know if you'll get this, but you are like dad for them. All of them. Sure they had dad around to play with them, but now they're older and the male they look up to is you. /I set the rules and /I follow through with punishments. And you are the one who gives permission to do things and /I give them their spending money. /I are their caretaker."
The other end of the line was silent for a moment. I could hear the commotion going on in the background and I knew he was thinking hard on what I had just said. Was it not common sense? I was sure he knew that. How could he not?
"I never wanted to be dad for you guys." Was all he said.
"I know. But you are. Not really for me, but for them, yeah you are. It kinda fell on you. You don't have much of a choice."
I can't believe I said that to him. I could've told him to his face, but it was a lot easier over the phone, I have to admit. Of course I was old enough when mom and dad died that I don't have to consider Darry a parental figure. I never did. He's just Darry, my big brother. He never gave me any reason to change how I see him. But for the others, they were like only fourteen and younger when our parents died. Sure they remember them, but they also didn't exactly have to grow up, in the majority of their teenage years, with them. They get to go by Darry's rules, which are more or less the same as before, but he actually enforces them, while dad would let you get away with murder and mom would intervene, but not have the heart to punish you as much as she probably should have.
Darry would be the first to admit that growing up he never paid a lot of attention to Pony, Reesa, and Skye. I know he'd say that. Shoot, he hardly paid attention to me, but luckily enough I was the next brother inline and I guess he felt like he could connect to me more on a personal level because we always had a good relationship. As the last two years have gone by, he's shaped up and taken responsibility for what is now his and he respects Reesa. He's starting to understand Pony, and he tolerates Skye. Before they were little pains in the ass who wrecked his room when he was away, and now they are his little friends and part-time annoyances. But still, I don't know how that managed to slip over him. Or did it? Was he just trying to ignore it? Or pretend it was different then it was?
"Soda, I know that." He took a breath and started up. "Don't think you I've realized that? Trust me, after Reesa broke her arm and I had to foot the bill, I realized. When she came home crying to me, yeah I realized. When Pony and Skye got mixed up in Bob's murder, I realized. When you wanted to drop out of school, I realized."
"You didn't stop me," I said. Maybe that had slipped his memory?
"Don't bring that into this. That's beside the point," he said. "Listen, if all of that holds true, why are you trying to get me to /I one of them?"
"Because you in a bad mood from lack of sleep isn't going to help anyone. I know you're already in a rotten mood, and that's understandable, but it's only gonna get worse."
"Soda, don't tell me it'll get worse. It won-"
"Yes, it will! Darry! Have you never heard of sleeping on it?"
"They need me down here."
"Why?"
"To fill out papers!"
"You already did that."
"What if there are more?"
"They'll do it and then you can sign the forms later. They aren't going to refuse her medical treatment if she needs it. Darry, listen to me, please. You have to get some sleep. If you don't you're gonna be in a REALLY bad mood and then you'll blow up and start yelling at everyone and there's always the possibility of more crying, and I really don't think you want that." I knew what I was talking about, and I was hoping he'd see it that way. Perhaps I don't have much to do with the situation but I do know what needs to be avoided and how that's possible. Besides that he just needs to sleep. It's not healthy what he's doing.
He made a slightly huffed noise. "Maybe you're right, but still, I can't stay away for too long. I wouldn't feel right about it."
"That's fine. Just come home and take a little nap. All you have to do is sleep until you wake up and if right then at that exact moment you want to come back... well, we'll work it out. You can call the hospital and have them page me and I'll come home and give you the truck and do whatever after that or whatever you want. Okay?"
He sighed, "Yeah, all right. I'll be home in a little while then."
"Soon!" I pushed. "Within the hour."
"All right!" he said.
"Okay?"
"Yes! I'll be home before one." Yeah, he was starting to get annoyed with me. "But I'm warning ya, you might wanna bring a book or something to do."
"Okay." A book. Yeah right! Maybe an auto mechanics magazine or a Playboy, but no books here! Uh-uh.
"All right. See you."
"Bye."
After that I didn't have any business left in there so I went back to see if anything was on the TV yet. Man, with modern inventions you'd think they would do something more entertaining than the Mickey Mouse Club and The Dick Van Dyke Show reruns.
`~``~``~``~`
(Reesa's POV)
I woke to Soda sitting next to me. The room was quiet and still, and Soda seemed to be the only one around. He was busy looking at some magazine to the side of my bed. I didn't know how he could stand the silence in there, I mean I hardly could and I had only been awake about thirty seconds. Besides, this was Soda we were talking about, he could never sit still for longer than ten minutes, and silence shortened that span dramatically.
My head hurt real bad, and my body was so stiff I could hardly move. Except that when I tried moving my hand it felt like jelly. That was weird, I swear it was the oddest feeling I had ever had. I almost wanted to move the rest of my body, but then again I was a little to weak to try, considering it took enough to just lift my hand up.
I looked over, turning my attention to Soda. He hadnt noticed I was awake yet, but I didn't want to just sit there and assess all the other crap I would start to feel if there was someone to talk to. I was still confused as to what exactly was going on, so what better time to clear it up?
"Soda?" I was surprised that my voice was so weak and quiet, I couldn't make it louder if I tried. I hated that.
He looked up from his magazine, a bit surprised, but smiled when he saw I was awake.
"Well, your alive, sleeping beauty." He laughed. Sleeping beauty? He had to be in a weird mood to be saying that. Yikes.
"Yeah, I guess so..."
"How do you feel?"
Did he really have to ask me that? How did he think I felt? Shoot, I had only been through hell and back in...how long had it been since all that crap had happened?
"I don't know...when did all this happen?"
"You don't remember?" Soda set down his magazine on the table next to the bed and sat in a little closer to me, reaching out to rub my forehead.
Well, that little gesture was a little weird. He only did that when he was really worried about me or I was really upset. Did I seem upset? I mean, I guess he could be worried, but I wasn't that bad off. Just confused and tired and feeling like I had been run over by a semi -- but what did that have to do with anything?
"I remember some but...when did it happen? How long has it been?"
"Last night, it's Monday afternoon."
"Oh." I took a deep breath, trying to not show that it killed just to breathe, although that wasn't too surprising. I knew I had broken ribs, I remembered that much at least. "Soda, is Skye okay?" That was the reason I went over there, right? To help her? But she wasn't there...she was already gone...
"Yeah, she's fine. She's at home sleeping."
"Did they hurt her? How bad was it?"
"Rees, don't worry about her, she's fine now. Okay?"
"Soda. Please..."
I just wanted to know. Was that so bad?
"Reesa, you need to stop worrying about her. She is a lot better off than you right now. Just relax, honey."
Whatever he said. I wasn't going to push it...then. I wasn't in the mood.
"How did I get here?"
"Um...some kid brought you home and --"
"His name was Mike Tucker." Steve had just walked in. "Wait...Tuck took me home?" I asked, finally making a connection of sorts. I had recognized that voice, and even at the time I hadnt been afraid. I had known somehow that this guy was good, he wouldn't hurt me. And I didn't know that by what he said.
"Yeah. He was pretty freaked out." Steve said.
"But that doesn't make any sense. I mean, how did he find me? You didn't like...accuse him or beat him up, did you?"
"He said that he just found you out in the street, I don't know."
"But, did you accuse him?" I pressed. They better not have.
"Should we have?"
"No! He...I was at the car...yeah...and then there were people there... and he talked his friends into following him over in his car. He thought he would get it, but he said he didn't care because I was hurt or something like that. I don't really remember it that well, but I don't know if I would have gotten home without his help."
"Oh, well, good. 'Cause we didn't. Two-Bit got a bit jumpy...but we told him to leave him be...we were more occupied with you then him."
"Good. I cant believe it was him."
"Well, aren't you happy it was someone you knew?"
"I dunno, I could've cared less then. I didn't know who he was at the time, I was barely aware of what was going on."
"When you see him, you owe him a thanks." Soda said sternly. What? Did he not think that I wouldn't thank him? I wasn't that bad off, but it would have taken hours longer to get home at the rate I was going at.
"Great, that's gonna be fun. Shit!" I really didn't want to explain this to anyone, and considering the fact that I kinda knew him, it would really suck to approach him, but he deserved to know, I mean he helped me out when I couldn't.
"Rees, he saved your life, if he hadn't brought you home you wouldn't have made it home, at least not alive." Steve told me in his great charm.
I didn't have anything to say to that. I didn't want to go there. I wasn't that bad off...I would have made it home, eventually.
After a minute of silence, Soda curiously asked, "What's the last thing you remember?"
"Tuck picking me up...vaguely."
"What happened?" He asked.
"I went to a party with Dal, right? Well, then some kids came in saying that they had seen Skye out, but they wanted to know where she was cause they thought she was coming to the party. But I found out that she was with Clay and Miles and they were having their own party...and I didn't want that to happen to Skye, so I went over there and then Clay took his chance at revenge."
"This was all Clay?" Soda asked. He was going to flip out, I knew it...and there was Steve over in the corner now, clenching his jaw to keep control. Great. They asked, didn't they?
"No...but he headed it off...there were plenty of other guys there to help him out. They all hate me, just Clay more so."
"Oh..."
Soda sat twiddling his thumbs, but after a few minutes he stopped and stood up, "I'm gonna go for a walk...and call Darry to see if he's up yet. Steve, you'll stay here?"
He nodded his head and Soda walked out, shutting the door.
Did he have to do that? I didn't want to talk this over with Steve yet. I knew he would be mad. He would tell me how stupid I was and all that shit...great, I was soo happy.
I sat silently, just waiting for it to start. I didn't want to start it, that would be stupid. If he wanted to talk, I would, but if not, I wasn't going to get him started.
After a few minutes, I heard him speak up, although he wasn't looking at me yet, "Were you drunk?"
"What? Where'd you get that idea?"
"Just answer the question Reesa."
"No. Not a lick."
He turned, looking at me, "Did you do any drugs? Were you high?"
Okay, this was the last thing I expected from Steve, of all people. He didn't ever care about that. Did Darry put him up to it? That would freak me out...what the hell was going on? Am I having a nightmare?
"Steve, what the hell?"
"Reesa, either you are lying to me and you were drunk or you're making up some bogus story for us all to choke down."
"I aint lyin to ya."
"Really?" he asked me challengingly.
"Why would I lie?"
"I don't know, how 'bout you tell me."
"Steve...what is this? Shoot...do you want me to say I'm sorry? You want me to tell you I was so drunk I wandered over to Clays house for more? Tell me what you want to hear and I'll tell you /I."
"I want to hear the truth, Rees. That's it, pure and simple."
"Well, you've already got it, Stevie. Hate to break your heart."
"So you are telling me that you were stupid enough to go back over to Clay?"
I didn't say anything. I didn't think it was stupid, at least at the time it wasn't. I mean, if Skye hadnt already left it would've worked, and it would've been worth all of it. It wasn't dumb, or it wouldn't have been if it had actually made any difference, which I thought it would at the time.
"Oh God..." Steve walked out from his corner, pacing, trying to not get too angry.
"Steve...it wasn't stupid. If Skye had been there then --"
"IF!?! Reesa...if this...if that...well ifs don't cut it! Skye asked for it, Reesa. When did it become your responsibility to protect Skye?" He was yelling now, not as loud as I had heard in the past, it wasn't too bad...yet. He was keeping it down, getting a point across without busting my head open with sound waves.
"It became my responsibility when I decided not to tell her what happened to me, Steve. If I had told her then she wouldn't have gone out with Miles...she wouldn't be in this mess. I was the only one who could fix it that night...you get that? Darry or Soda goin, or even the fuzz, wasn't goin to help. It became my responsibility when I figured it out and no one else had. That's when..."
I didn't yell, just kept my voice the same. To tell the truth I wanted to yell, I wanted to show him that I had my reasons, and I didn't think he would listen if I just talked...not as well at least...but I couldn't yell. I didn't have the energy.
"Bullshit!" Steve stood a few feet away from my bed, facing me, his face bright red with anger, "That wouldn't have made any difference. You know as well as me that Skye wouldn't have listened...she doesn't believe a word that comes out of anyone's mouths. No, she has to experience things for herself...you warned her enough, everyone did."
"Your wrong..."
"Since when do you care about Skye?"
"She's my sister!" I screamed. Could he not get that through his thick skull? Was I just supposed to let my sister go through that? I don't care if they asked for it, no one should have to go through that. I wasn't going to let that happen to my sister.
"So? Does that mean you have to save her every time she gets in a jam?"
"Steve, I don't do much for her...but I couldn't stand by and let my sister go through that. I don't care if she deserved it, no one should feel that pain! I wasn't going to let my little sister go through the worst thing that had ever happened to me...and that tops my parents' death. I made a choice a long time ago, I decided I would never let anyone go through that if I had anything to do with it. No one! Especially not my sister. They were doing it to her to get to me...it was the best revenge they thought they could get. I wasn't going to let her experience that because of me."
"Reesa, they did it to her because they are horny bastards and she was an easy target. It had nothing to do with you. They left you behind a long time ago."
I shook my head, he would never understand, "It had everything to do with me and my past. It was all about revenge."
"God dammit, Reesa! No it didn't!"
"Steve, you know who showed up at our house last week?" he didn't say anything, no guesses here, "Clay. He tried to get in the door, he tried to get me to go back to him, he tried to force me into it in my own house."
"And then you went over there willingly? Why didn't you just satisfy him in the first place then? It would save everyone a ton of trouble, if you just got it on with him when he wanted it...or you could just keep trying to be a hero and walk into it for the title only. God...you are soo stupid! I cant believe you! I thought, I /I that you were smarter than that. Guess not."
He turned and started to walk out. I was so mad, he had no right! It was my body, my life! Hell, he wouldn't ever understand, not unless he went through it.
"Steve, I would rather go through this a million times than give Clay the satisfaction once."
"Tell that to your brothers, Rees."
"Steve, if this is about them, then why are /I so mad?"
"Reesa, you should've seen their faces. You are /I them. They care about you too much for you to be so reckless with your life. Think about it, if you hadnt gone over there, things would be much better right now."
I felt a tear slip down my cheek. I didn't want to cry, but that /I. I knew I had hurt them, but to have Steve say that was too much.
"Well, you just know that that is my goal, Steve. I do /I to hurt them, you know that's my soul intention." I spat. I was nearly sobbing by the time that I was done with my sentence.
He turned, "You know what, shut up! This is /I the time for sarcasm. You didn't see them last night. I have never seen any of them so torn up. /I." His voice was shaking now, like he was trying to not start up with the crying thing too. That was weird, I thought he was the one that was mad.
"Well, you seem to be insinuating that. One thing before you walk out of here to never speak to me again...the way I saw it, I didn't have a choice last night. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't go over there."
"Rees? If you had to go over, why didn't you get someone to go with you?" the last sentence he said was in a whisper. He was all of the sudden gentle. Okay, I was freaking out now, he was going nuts!
"Steve, C'mere. Come back in. Please...I'm gonna tell you something -- but it cant get out to Darry or /I else. You understand? It will eventually, but now is not the time." My voice had gone real quiet again. I was really tired. I could hardly keep my eyes open through the tears and I couldn't hardly lift my head off the pillow.
He hesitantly walked over. "Yeah?"
"Steve...I did go looking for you guys. Anyone. But I...I couldn't find anyone. I didn't have time...and it was still too late...But I couldn't find anyone...I was frantic...I was scared out of my mind for Skye, I was terrified because of what I went through. Do you remember what I was like when I got home? Well, that wasn't even the half of it. Steve...I was soooo scared." I managed through my sharp breathing, the after affects of crying.
"Shhh...calm down. Honey, why cant I tell anyone?"
"I...I don't want...everyone has enough on their plate and...you might not understand, but if they find out they will blame themselves for it, for not being there when they were needed. You could think about it like you didn't know, couldn't know, but they will think that they should have known no matter what. It'll just make things worse if you tell them, not now. Okay?"
"Yeah, I wont, girlie." He shook his head. He still didn't understand, but at least he seemed to be relatively calm. Then he turned and walked out with out another word.
Yeah, he was still pissed, he would never understand, that was for sure.
`~``~``~``~`
(Steve's POV)
I was kicking myself for doing that. Why did I have to be so blunt and rude? Why couldn't I just be nice for once, when it /I mattered? Seriously. Sure, I needed to settle my peace, but that could have waited. I hate my damn temper! Wait, that is to say I hate everything. Everything, and this whole slew of shit with my one and only true family was just another thing to weigh down my list of "things I hate too much for my own good". There wasn't one thing in the world that was really worth anything, except maybe good old muscle cars, but I couldn't have them either.
But even that thought, the thought of one of the things I found good in life, didn't help at that point. It all came down to one thing, I'm a jackass...why? Why am I such a jerk, ass, bastard, idiot. God, could I not be nice to the few people I actually cared about? Apparently not...dumb-ass.
I wouldn't usually care about being a jack-ass, but in most circumstances it didn't really matter all that much. The problem I was hitting then was that it did matter at that point. Reesa didn't need me yelling at her. I'm sure she had the fuzz, her brothers, and everyone else under the sun on her about one thing or another, or over the whole thing in general, why did I have to be on her about it? I guess it had something to do with the fact that it wasn't right, and it made me real mad to see her like that, for that reason. She shouldn't be in here, at least not because her little sister is a stupid little bitch. Reesa had been through enough, and there I had been, yelling at her. She'll never forgive me for that one.
Looking back, I didn't think it could've gotten worse the first time she stumbled in the door that night two years ago. I thought that was as bad as it could get for her, she was in soo much pain, physically and mentally that it hurt me at the time. But now she had to go through it again, and I didn't understand why exactly, and I didn't agree, but obviously she felt like she had to do it, and it was the right thing. That made me mad, because she shouldn't have gone through that twice, especially with the second practically being put in the attempted murder category of my book. And what made me even more angry was that I couldn't do anything but express anger.
Reviews!
Tensleep: I LOVE your reviews! Seriously....you have no idea. Wow....I loved how hyper you were. LOL. *Keira gags at the pickle comment* and *I laugh too hard to contain myself and wish for a pickle* LOL. We are glad you enjoyed it soo much and if you want to hear more, then we'll discuss it....sometime. LOL. Have fun! Talk to ya Later.
Oblivious Misconception: We had a lot of fun with that chapter, Soda is funny. Courtesy of Keira, she had a lot of fun, but we needed to break the ice a bit. I hope you like this chapter. Read on! And thanks for reading at the expense of weird looks from fellow drivers. I've gotten that in my day to. Enjoy!
Jordyn(): I know you aren't reading this and franky, dear, I don't give a damn. Im writing this for my own pleasure, so here goes. One, why in the hell did you read nineteen chapters just to send us a flame three sentences long? I mean, how long did you spend reading that? Two, if you cared to read the A/N which is there for a reason, then you would know we knew this wasn't original, and it was never meant to be. So, who's the idiot now? Yeah, that's right you. If in fact this was some kind of weird joke or you are bored out of your mind and can find nothing better to do then be reading something you hate, please tell me why I should even consider what you think. Why should I give a shit?
sodapop'll-be-mine: I loved your review! Thanks! Wow, Pony innocent, well, he is now, but not for long! LOL. Enjoy the chapter!
Okay, guys, I think that's it. Have fun and enjoy!
Chapter 20 (Darry's POV)
I made it back to the hospital in about forty minutes or so from the time I left, and went back to tell one of the nurses I was back. Then I went and sat down in the waiting room.
I had no idea what I was gonna do. It was almost as bad as when mom and dad died and I had to deal with funerals, court, fees, and everything else. The advantage this time was that I wasn't being thrown into a fire that I hadnt ever seen before. I mean, I least had an idea of what to expect for half of it. But that didn't make me feel much better at that point. I was so worried about things, and especially about Reesa. I mean, sure I worried over Skye a bit, but at least she was on her way to getting better. I just couldn't believe all of this was happening. Where had I gone wrong?
I was glad to see that the social worker had gone for now, and I felt a little relief over not being watched constantly. Couldn't they just leave us alone right now? Sure, they had to know stuff, but couldn't they give our family some time to cope? What kind of sick people were they?
I layed my head back against the wall, trying to let go of my anger for everything. It wasn't going to help me to be mad at the state or the bastards that did this, it was my fault and I had to face it.
A tear slipped down my cheek, and I impatiently wiped it away. "Now is not the time for this shit!", I told myself. I wanted so badly to get up and break a wall down, but knew it wouldn't make things better, although I think I might've felt better.
I said I wouldn't ever let anything happen to them, but I did. How could I? How could they trust me now? Maybe it was better that the state take them...NO! Don't start doing that! God dammit! None of them would do well if they were sent away. Hell, Reesa and Skye would get so rebellious that the state would send them back to live with me, saying I was a good parent. I smiled at that thought, it was true. Our family is just too stubborn to be broken apart.
With a good thought finally running through my head, for the first time that night, I fell fast asleep in the waiting room. I guess I really needed it, huh?
The next thing I knew, someone was shaking me awake, "Uh...Mr. Curtis? Mr. Curtis..."
I opened my eyes despite the protesting my body did.
"Yeah?" I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake myself up. The doctor was standing in front of me, and I knew that meant I had to wake up. I could've kicked myself for falling asleep. Sure, I needed it, but Reesa needed me more. How could I? Besides, I hate falling asleep in public places. No matter, you always do something incredibly embarrassing like drool or something.
The doctor gave me a minute to get a hold of myself, and waited for me to say the first word. Once I was fully awake, or at least as good as it could get at that point, I looked up to him.
"How is she? What happened to her earlier?"
He bit his lip momentarily and sat down next to me. "Earlier your sister was having a fever induced seizure. We've been fighting it since. It's a battle zone back there."
"Are we winning?"
"I think we're coming out on top, but I can't guarantee that we will win in the end. Her body's been fighting us like nothing else."
I looked down to the floor, "What are you saying?"
"Your sister has developed an infection, the same one that your younger sister is also fighting."
"But, you let Skye go home, so it can't be that bad, can it?"
"The difference is that Skye, although weak, still has defenses against this infection. Her body is not so weak that it cannot put forth something to fight this thing off, and with antibiotics, she should be fine and over this in just a few days. The problem we are encountering with Reesa presents us with an entirely different case although it's the same infection. Reesa is too weak right now to fight it. Her body has resorted to raising its temperature to kill the infected cells but in the process it's killing itself. Basically, her body cant fight any other way at this point, so its using its last resort...to an extreme. The second part of this is that we are limited in our treatment options right now. She is on soo many medications that we cant take her off of, that we are concerned about putting her on something else. Her blood stream is overflowing with all kinds of stuff, and we are afraid that she might have a bad reaction to so many medications. At this point we've resorted to using creams and such in the infected area to try and fight it that way, although it isn't as effective. We just don't feel good about taking a chance with giving her more medication, a bad reaction could be the last straw for her."
I took a deep breath, and looked down to the floor. Maybe things weren't getting any better. I mean, I didn't really think they were, but I was sure hoping that things would be better when I got back, when I woke up. I looked down to my watch, I had been sleeping for two hours. So it had been a long battle.
I rubbed my temples, and let my head slide down so my hands were resting in my hair. Somehow I thought that would help, but it didn't. I looked back up, pleading in my mind for the doctor to give me some good news.
"I came out to let you know, that I'm letting you go in there to be with her. There's going to be a lot of stuff going on, but I think that you need to be in there. She's been asking for people whenever she's awake, and she's starting to fight us, so maybe you being there will help. Listen, it might be a bit crazy, and...hard for you. To keep her fever down as much as possible, we've resorted back to a more traditional means. A few times we have gone as far as to put her in an ice-bath for a few minutes, which helps...but it isn't fun. Do you think you can handle that? If you're in there, we are going to need your help."
I was so surprised, but it almost scared me. Could I handle it? I thought so, but what if I couldn't? But I had to, like he said, maybe Reesa would be more calm if I went in there.
"Yeah. She'll probably be a bit better with me around. She has a horrible fear of people she doesn't know...and...Yeah, I'll handle it."
The doctor smiled reassuringly, like he thought it would help. But it was the thought that counted not the fact that it didn't help. "Follow me."
We went back to the same room, but this time it was more open, with two or three people in there. They had drawn the curtain back and there was a ton more stuff in there. A few bins of ice, some bowls of water near the top of her bedside, a stack of extra sheets, and next to it a second stack of towels. But I ignored them for the most part and made my way to the side of the bed that the nurse was not standing on. She was busy wringing water onto Reesa's forehead, and keeping her as cool as possible.
At that point they had a thick sheet over most of Reesa's body, and I hoped it stayed there. I didn't really want to know if I wanted to know what that site would be. That was the part that I thought I wasn't sure if I could handle.
I just held her hand, glancing over at the doctor who was standing with another doctor talking. They were really engaged in their conversation and he didn't notice my gaze, but I didn't mind.
When I looked back down, I saw that Reesa had opened her eyes. She gazed at me intently, her wild eyes feverish. I had never seen her eyes like that. I mean, they changed with her mood, but I hadn't ever seen that. They were so...wild and blank. All I could see in them was confusion and fear. But I hated that. She always had something else there, I don't know if it was gall, courage, hope...or what, but there was something missing that had never gone before. Not to mention that her eyes were incredibly dull. See, she was like Soda when it came to her eyes, well not the color, but let me explain. Both of them showed their emotions in the eyes. When Soda was happy, there was a certain quality that shown through his eyes, it was what told you if he was happy, not the reassuring smile he was soo good at. Well, Reesa was like that too. Only her eyes actually changed colors. It was real freaky to me, when I first noticed it, but now it was just normal.
But what I saw right then scared me. Even as upset as I had ever seen Reesa, which was pretty upset, she always had a little of that happy, cool blue left in her eyes. She always had a redeeming quality in them that told you she would be fine, and she always was. There had always been enough of a good thing, enough life in her, to show through and grace the world. To tell the truth, her eyes told more than even Soda knew. I could tell if she was sick by her eyes, or if she was on a high, or down low. The thing that scared me was that I didn't know what this meant.
As she stared at me in confusion, I studied them more closely. I wanted to see what was going on her head behind them, but I couldn't tell. Her eyes were so dull, so empty. They had not a hint of that cool blue that everyone loved so much about Reesa in them. They were gray, like the mid-tone on your average black and white TV screen, except with no sparkle, or movement, just there.
"Honey, everything is fine. I'm here for you now." I said, wiping a drop of sweat off her forehead before it slipped down into her eye.
She didn't move or respond, but sat, her wild eyes suddenly darting from corner to corner of whatever world she was in right then. Wow, she was sick.
The doctor walked over, checking her temperature and glancing at me. He finished up what he was doing, and set the chart down on the side table. Then he walked out, stopping to tell one of the medical people something. I didn't know if the glance was bad or good...probably bad at that point, and I had no idea what was going through his head, but he obviously wasn't going to tell me.
Over the next few hours, which felt like eternity, he came in and out, checking and rechecking, changing medications, and giving further directions. Then he would leave again and come back a half an hour later. I think I would have fallen asleep if Reesa didn't wake up and start asking for weird things. She was real delirious, and she was even starting to ask for Dad. She always had wanted him there when she was sick, well, when she was little. He wouldn't leave the room when we were sick, so it was a comfort thing. What bothered me was that Reesa didn't ask for him anymore, she had faced that our parents were dead, so she had to be pretty out of it to not understand why he wasn't there.
Anyway, between trying to stay awake, trying to sort things out, keeping the cops out, trying to decide what the doctors glances meant, and trying to keep Reesa somewhat calm, it turned out to be a long few hours.
Finally, I decided to get up and call Soda. I needed to check in, to make sure things were okay. I got up and left while Reesa was fast asleep, or at least seemed to be, and went over to the phone in the next hall over.
Soda picked up fairly quickly. I asked him how things were and then the conversation turned in other directions. Basically, Soda wanted me to go home, and I knew that I should, but I was scared that I would be needed if I left or something. I mean, sure Soda would be there, but what if he couldn't do anything? What if it was something that the guardian had to do? Even as exhausted as I was, I wasn't thinking of myself.
Anyway, he eventually talked me into going home, and to tell the truth, I was really glad that he had. I was completely beat, and I was getting short tempered already. So I left pretty quickly after that, making it home in record time before falling asleep.
(Soda's POV)
A long morning was turning into an even longer day. I didn't know it was possible for it to be so long. Sure, I had Pony to keep me company and I wasn't exactly anticipating anything, but it was still one of those days you know? It wasn't helping much that I had only been able to sleep around two or three hours before I woke up. Why not go back to sleep you ask? Simple – I couldn't. I don't know how or why, but I just couldn't. Something was keeping me awake and it wasn't welcome at all. Perhaps it was the nagging feeling that I was forgetting something. Hmm... Oh well.
I noticed that Darry had been back at some point while I was out. Pony was sound asleep in our bed, officially dead to the world, and I know he didn't just walk home. No... we had learned our lesson with that one. It's too easy to get jumped around here and obviously too dangerous to go walking by yourself. I hadn't ever personally been on the receiving end of a brutal beating all by myself, but I had seen the after effects of it and it is the most unappealing thing imaginable.
I also noticed that Dally was no where to be seen. That surprised me. I was sure he would've stayed and crashed somewhere, but apparently not. I don't remember if he ever made it out of the car or not, actually. Shows how observant I am when I need sleep. Well, where ever he was I could pretty much guarantee he was knocked out. Although I /I he can run on no sleep, you could always depend on him to run out of energy at one point or another.
Ahh, I remembered what it was I was forgetting. Darry. Well, obviously I had thought of him, but I didn't take into consideration a couple of things. I think he may need a little bit of shuteye himself. Because, you know, no one is Superman.
Great. That means I have to get off the couch, go to the hospital, take his place, and want to bash my head into the wall. Whhhhhhhhhhy? He's old enough to take care of himself. I shouldn't have to remind him that he doesn't have to worry all the time. Why do I have to be so damn sensitive to his needs? Man....
"PONY!" I called out.
Nothing.
"PONY!"
Nada.
"PONYBOY!"
"Shut up!" Skye called, sounding very unhappily disturbed from her sleep. Oh well. "Gawd! He ain't hearin' ya."
"I know," I sighed. Damn it. Why don't I ever get to be lazy? Too many of us are lazy to let me be. For once I'd love to sleep in and get an adequate amount of sleep. Is that too much to ask? I sat up slowly and rubbed at my eyes. I probably looked like the walking dead. Swell.
I made myself get up off the couch and wandered the length to my room. Sure enough, once I pushed the door open I saw him crashed, sprawled out across the entire bed, just as I had left him before. His tee shirt was raised on one side and I could see where his stomach was still taped up. Maybe I shouldn't disturb him. He was still recovering himself, after all. He looked on the pale side and his bruises were sticking out like splattered paint on a white canvas. It looked very unpleasant.
Come to think of it, waking Pony up wouldn't do a whole lot of good. Sure, he may try his best to fend off anybody coming back for seconds, but from what we'd been able to see, he wasn't able to before. And what happened last night? I know it was the reversed role, with Skye keeping an eye on him, but it wasn't even more than twelve hours later and I know Pony wasn't in much better shape, and this time whatever Skye had in her to prevent something is gone. Let's face it. She can't fend for herself worth shit.
Since I was up and moving and Skye was obviously not asleep I decided to go check on her. That's what I was here for, wasn't it? Darry sent me home to keep an eye on her and I had slept through the first part. I suppose I didn't mind it too much, because I didn't have anything else better to do, but it would be so much better if there wasn't the need for it either.
I pushed her door open and found that I was wrong. She was asleep. Maybe it had been a temporary thing. That's one thing you can always count on – once she's out she's out. If you don't want her involved in something or have something planned and it's better that she not be around, make sure she's asleep. Then you don't have to worry about it.
It wasn't really necessary to wake her up so I left again. There was nothing to do! No good TV on, no one around (or awake) to keep me company, nothing. Switching places with Darry wouldn't be any more exciting, but at least I wouldn't feel like I was wasting my time, right?
Speaking of the devil, the phone rang right as I made my way back into the kitchen. Convenient.
"Yello?"
"Hey, Sodapop. How's it going?" It was Darrel. This was /I convenient.
"Hmm, not bad. Could be better." If he wanted the truth...
"Well, what does that mean?"
"I'm bored."
"Oh," he said. "How's Skye and Pon?"
"Asleep. At least they were a minute ago. I told you I was bored."
"Right. Right. So, nothing I need to be aware of?"
"I dunno. What do you need to know?"
"I...don't know."
This was a real intellectual conversation. I might as well speak my mind, right? "Darry, I think you should come home for awhile."
"I can't. I can't leave Reesa all by herself. Plus, the doctors said that there might be instances that they have to fill me in on."
"Can't I do that?"
"Would you want to? Soda, you can stay home all you want, why would you hang around here if you didn't have to?"
"Because, you need to sleep. You can't run on nothing, Dar. I know you're tired, why don't you come home and sleep for a couple of hours and I'll fill in for you over there?" Was this not logical? It made sense to me. He didn't have to handle everything on his own.
"No, no. You sleep. You were up all night, too." "But I didn't have to roof houses all day and then stay up all night into the next day. Besides, I've been sleeping for awhile. Go ahead, Darry, you don't have one good excuse not to come home."
"Wanna bet?"
"Darry! I can take care of it! How hard can it be? Seriously, man, come home. You're forgetting two things anyway."
"And that would be...?"
Oh, he had got to be kidding me. "The twins?"
"Oh... Well, they're okay aren't they? You just said they were both sleeping."
"That's not the point. I think they might want you around some of the time." This wasn't really easy to explain. I'd try my best, but I don't know how far I'd get.
"Well, when they wake up, let me know and –"
"Darry, I don't think you /I." He was making this as far from easy as he could. "They're gonna want you around some of the time, sleeping or not. They just want you here."
"... Really? Did they say that? Who said that? That doesn't make sense..." He sounded so confused but at the same time awed that someone would even want his attention. To tell you the truth, I was too. And I was the one saying it... go figure.
"Sure it does. Darry, think of it this way." Here goes nothing. "Remember the first game you were injured in?"
"Yeah?"
"Who did you request to see first when they told you your family was coming down to see you?"
"...Dad."
"And when you won the state championship, who was the first one you ran to?"
"How am I supposed to remember? That was several years go." He wasn't catching on yet. He's going to get me flustered soon if he doesn't start to.
"Well, I do. It was dad. The first time you were dumped? Who did you go to for comfort and solace? Lemme answer for you. Dad."
"What are you trying to get at, Sodapop? Dad ain't around anymore. What are you trying to say?" Perhaps I shouldn't have brought it up, but he needed to see it sometime. He couldn't keep going on acting like he didn't know. Whether he did or not, I'm not sure, but he had to realize it /I.
"Darry, I don't know if you'll get this, but you are like dad for them. All of them. Sure they had dad around to play with them, but now they're older and the male they look up to is you. /I set the rules and /I follow through with punishments. And you are the one who gives permission to do things and /I give them their spending money. /I are their caretaker."
The other end of the line was silent for a moment. I could hear the commotion going on in the background and I knew he was thinking hard on what I had just said. Was it not common sense? I was sure he knew that. How could he not?
"I never wanted to be dad for you guys." Was all he said.
"I know. But you are. Not really for me, but for them, yeah you are. It kinda fell on you. You don't have much of a choice."
I can't believe I said that to him. I could've told him to his face, but it was a lot easier over the phone, I have to admit. Of course I was old enough when mom and dad died that I don't have to consider Darry a parental figure. I never did. He's just Darry, my big brother. He never gave me any reason to change how I see him. But for the others, they were like only fourteen and younger when our parents died. Sure they remember them, but they also didn't exactly have to grow up, in the majority of their teenage years, with them. They get to go by Darry's rules, which are more or less the same as before, but he actually enforces them, while dad would let you get away with murder and mom would intervene, but not have the heart to punish you as much as she probably should have.
Darry would be the first to admit that growing up he never paid a lot of attention to Pony, Reesa, and Skye. I know he'd say that. Shoot, he hardly paid attention to me, but luckily enough I was the next brother inline and I guess he felt like he could connect to me more on a personal level because we always had a good relationship. As the last two years have gone by, he's shaped up and taken responsibility for what is now his and he respects Reesa. He's starting to understand Pony, and he tolerates Skye. Before they were little pains in the ass who wrecked his room when he was away, and now they are his little friends and part-time annoyances. But still, I don't know how that managed to slip over him. Or did it? Was he just trying to ignore it? Or pretend it was different then it was?
"Soda, I know that." He took a breath and started up. "Don't think you I've realized that? Trust me, after Reesa broke her arm and I had to foot the bill, I realized. When she came home crying to me, yeah I realized. When Pony and Skye got mixed up in Bob's murder, I realized. When you wanted to drop out of school, I realized."
"You didn't stop me," I said. Maybe that had slipped his memory?
"Don't bring that into this. That's beside the point," he said. "Listen, if all of that holds true, why are you trying to get me to /I one of them?"
"Because you in a bad mood from lack of sleep isn't going to help anyone. I know you're already in a rotten mood, and that's understandable, but it's only gonna get worse."
"Soda, don't tell me it'll get worse. It won-"
"Yes, it will! Darry! Have you never heard of sleeping on it?"
"They need me down here."
"Why?"
"To fill out papers!"
"You already did that."
"What if there are more?"
"They'll do it and then you can sign the forms later. They aren't going to refuse her medical treatment if she needs it. Darry, listen to me, please. You have to get some sleep. If you don't you're gonna be in a REALLY bad mood and then you'll blow up and start yelling at everyone and there's always the possibility of more crying, and I really don't think you want that." I knew what I was talking about, and I was hoping he'd see it that way. Perhaps I don't have much to do with the situation but I do know what needs to be avoided and how that's possible. Besides that he just needs to sleep. It's not healthy what he's doing.
He made a slightly huffed noise. "Maybe you're right, but still, I can't stay away for too long. I wouldn't feel right about it."
"That's fine. Just come home and take a little nap. All you have to do is sleep until you wake up and if right then at that exact moment you want to come back... well, we'll work it out. You can call the hospital and have them page me and I'll come home and give you the truck and do whatever after that or whatever you want. Okay?"
He sighed, "Yeah, all right. I'll be home in a little while then."
"Soon!" I pushed. "Within the hour."
"All right!" he said.
"Okay?"
"Yes! I'll be home before one." Yeah, he was starting to get annoyed with me. "But I'm warning ya, you might wanna bring a book or something to do."
"Okay." A book. Yeah right! Maybe an auto mechanics magazine or a Playboy, but no books here! Uh-uh.
"All right. See you."
"Bye."
After that I didn't have any business left in there so I went back to see if anything was on the TV yet. Man, with modern inventions you'd think they would do something more entertaining than the Mickey Mouse Club and The Dick Van Dyke Show reruns.
`~``~``~``~`
(Reesa's POV)
I woke to Soda sitting next to me. The room was quiet and still, and Soda seemed to be the only one around. He was busy looking at some magazine to the side of my bed. I didn't know how he could stand the silence in there, I mean I hardly could and I had only been awake about thirty seconds. Besides, this was Soda we were talking about, he could never sit still for longer than ten minutes, and silence shortened that span dramatically.
My head hurt real bad, and my body was so stiff I could hardly move. Except that when I tried moving my hand it felt like jelly. That was weird, I swear it was the oddest feeling I had ever had. I almost wanted to move the rest of my body, but then again I was a little to weak to try, considering it took enough to just lift my hand up.
I looked over, turning my attention to Soda. He hadnt noticed I was awake yet, but I didn't want to just sit there and assess all the other crap I would start to feel if there was someone to talk to. I was still confused as to what exactly was going on, so what better time to clear it up?
"Soda?" I was surprised that my voice was so weak and quiet, I couldn't make it louder if I tried. I hated that.
He looked up from his magazine, a bit surprised, but smiled when he saw I was awake.
"Well, your alive, sleeping beauty." He laughed. Sleeping beauty? He had to be in a weird mood to be saying that. Yikes.
"Yeah, I guess so..."
"How do you feel?"
Did he really have to ask me that? How did he think I felt? Shoot, I had only been through hell and back in...how long had it been since all that crap had happened?
"I don't know...when did all this happen?"
"You don't remember?" Soda set down his magazine on the table next to the bed and sat in a little closer to me, reaching out to rub my forehead.
Well, that little gesture was a little weird. He only did that when he was really worried about me or I was really upset. Did I seem upset? I mean, I guess he could be worried, but I wasn't that bad off. Just confused and tired and feeling like I had been run over by a semi -- but what did that have to do with anything?
"I remember some but...when did it happen? How long has it been?"
"Last night, it's Monday afternoon."
"Oh." I took a deep breath, trying to not show that it killed just to breathe, although that wasn't too surprising. I knew I had broken ribs, I remembered that much at least. "Soda, is Skye okay?" That was the reason I went over there, right? To help her? But she wasn't there...she was already gone...
"Yeah, she's fine. She's at home sleeping."
"Did they hurt her? How bad was it?"
"Rees, don't worry about her, she's fine now. Okay?"
"Soda. Please..."
I just wanted to know. Was that so bad?
"Reesa, you need to stop worrying about her. She is a lot better off than you right now. Just relax, honey."
Whatever he said. I wasn't going to push it...then. I wasn't in the mood.
"How did I get here?"
"Um...some kid brought you home and --"
"His name was Mike Tucker." Steve had just walked in. "Wait...Tuck took me home?" I asked, finally making a connection of sorts. I had recognized that voice, and even at the time I hadnt been afraid. I had known somehow that this guy was good, he wouldn't hurt me. And I didn't know that by what he said.
"Yeah. He was pretty freaked out." Steve said.
"But that doesn't make any sense. I mean, how did he find me? You didn't like...accuse him or beat him up, did you?"
"He said that he just found you out in the street, I don't know."
"But, did you accuse him?" I pressed. They better not have.
"Should we have?"
"No! He...I was at the car...yeah...and then there were people there... and he talked his friends into following him over in his car. He thought he would get it, but he said he didn't care because I was hurt or something like that. I don't really remember it that well, but I don't know if I would have gotten home without his help."
"Oh, well, good. 'Cause we didn't. Two-Bit got a bit jumpy...but we told him to leave him be...we were more occupied with you then him."
"Good. I cant believe it was him."
"Well, aren't you happy it was someone you knew?"
"I dunno, I could've cared less then. I didn't know who he was at the time, I was barely aware of what was going on."
"When you see him, you owe him a thanks." Soda said sternly. What? Did he not think that I wouldn't thank him? I wasn't that bad off, but it would have taken hours longer to get home at the rate I was going at.
"Great, that's gonna be fun. Shit!" I really didn't want to explain this to anyone, and considering the fact that I kinda knew him, it would really suck to approach him, but he deserved to know, I mean he helped me out when I couldn't.
"Rees, he saved your life, if he hadn't brought you home you wouldn't have made it home, at least not alive." Steve told me in his great charm.
I didn't have anything to say to that. I didn't want to go there. I wasn't that bad off...I would have made it home, eventually.
After a minute of silence, Soda curiously asked, "What's the last thing you remember?"
"Tuck picking me up...vaguely."
"What happened?" He asked.
"I went to a party with Dal, right? Well, then some kids came in saying that they had seen Skye out, but they wanted to know where she was cause they thought she was coming to the party. But I found out that she was with Clay and Miles and they were having their own party...and I didn't want that to happen to Skye, so I went over there and then Clay took his chance at revenge."
"This was all Clay?" Soda asked. He was going to flip out, I knew it...and there was Steve over in the corner now, clenching his jaw to keep control. Great. They asked, didn't they?
"No...but he headed it off...there were plenty of other guys there to help him out. They all hate me, just Clay more so."
"Oh..."
Soda sat twiddling his thumbs, but after a few minutes he stopped and stood up, "I'm gonna go for a walk...and call Darry to see if he's up yet. Steve, you'll stay here?"
He nodded his head and Soda walked out, shutting the door.
Did he have to do that? I didn't want to talk this over with Steve yet. I knew he would be mad. He would tell me how stupid I was and all that shit...great, I was soo happy.
I sat silently, just waiting for it to start. I didn't want to start it, that would be stupid. If he wanted to talk, I would, but if not, I wasn't going to get him started.
After a few minutes, I heard him speak up, although he wasn't looking at me yet, "Were you drunk?"
"What? Where'd you get that idea?"
"Just answer the question Reesa."
"No. Not a lick."
He turned, looking at me, "Did you do any drugs? Were you high?"
Okay, this was the last thing I expected from Steve, of all people. He didn't ever care about that. Did Darry put him up to it? That would freak me out...what the hell was going on? Am I having a nightmare?
"Steve, what the hell?"
"Reesa, either you are lying to me and you were drunk or you're making up some bogus story for us all to choke down."
"I aint lyin to ya."
"Really?" he asked me challengingly.
"Why would I lie?"
"I don't know, how 'bout you tell me."
"Steve...what is this? Shoot...do you want me to say I'm sorry? You want me to tell you I was so drunk I wandered over to Clays house for more? Tell me what you want to hear and I'll tell you /I."
"I want to hear the truth, Rees. That's it, pure and simple."
"Well, you've already got it, Stevie. Hate to break your heart."
"So you are telling me that you were stupid enough to go back over to Clay?"
I didn't say anything. I didn't think it was stupid, at least at the time it wasn't. I mean, if Skye hadnt already left it would've worked, and it would've been worth all of it. It wasn't dumb, or it wouldn't have been if it had actually made any difference, which I thought it would at the time.
"Oh God..." Steve walked out from his corner, pacing, trying to not get too angry.
"Steve...it wasn't stupid. If Skye had been there then --"
"IF!?! Reesa...if this...if that...well ifs don't cut it! Skye asked for it, Reesa. When did it become your responsibility to protect Skye?" He was yelling now, not as loud as I had heard in the past, it wasn't too bad...yet. He was keeping it down, getting a point across without busting my head open with sound waves.
"It became my responsibility when I decided not to tell her what happened to me, Steve. If I had told her then she wouldn't have gone out with Miles...she wouldn't be in this mess. I was the only one who could fix it that night...you get that? Darry or Soda goin, or even the fuzz, wasn't goin to help. It became my responsibility when I figured it out and no one else had. That's when..."
I didn't yell, just kept my voice the same. To tell the truth I wanted to yell, I wanted to show him that I had my reasons, and I didn't think he would listen if I just talked...not as well at least...but I couldn't yell. I didn't have the energy.
"Bullshit!" Steve stood a few feet away from my bed, facing me, his face bright red with anger, "That wouldn't have made any difference. You know as well as me that Skye wouldn't have listened...she doesn't believe a word that comes out of anyone's mouths. No, she has to experience things for herself...you warned her enough, everyone did."
"Your wrong..."
"Since when do you care about Skye?"
"She's my sister!" I screamed. Could he not get that through his thick skull? Was I just supposed to let my sister go through that? I don't care if they asked for it, no one should have to go through that. I wasn't going to let that happen to my sister.
"So? Does that mean you have to save her every time she gets in a jam?"
"Steve, I don't do much for her...but I couldn't stand by and let my sister go through that. I don't care if she deserved it, no one should feel that pain! I wasn't going to let my little sister go through the worst thing that had ever happened to me...and that tops my parents' death. I made a choice a long time ago, I decided I would never let anyone go through that if I had anything to do with it. No one! Especially not my sister. They were doing it to her to get to me...it was the best revenge they thought they could get. I wasn't going to let her experience that because of me."
"Reesa, they did it to her because they are horny bastards and she was an easy target. It had nothing to do with you. They left you behind a long time ago."
I shook my head, he would never understand, "It had everything to do with me and my past. It was all about revenge."
"God dammit, Reesa! No it didn't!"
"Steve, you know who showed up at our house last week?" he didn't say anything, no guesses here, "Clay. He tried to get in the door, he tried to get me to go back to him, he tried to force me into it in my own house."
"And then you went over there willingly? Why didn't you just satisfy him in the first place then? It would save everyone a ton of trouble, if you just got it on with him when he wanted it...or you could just keep trying to be a hero and walk into it for the title only. God...you are soo stupid! I cant believe you! I thought, I /I that you were smarter than that. Guess not."
He turned and started to walk out. I was so mad, he had no right! It was my body, my life! Hell, he wouldn't ever understand, not unless he went through it.
"Steve, I would rather go through this a million times than give Clay the satisfaction once."
"Tell that to your brothers, Rees."
"Steve, if this is about them, then why are /I so mad?"
"Reesa, you should've seen their faces. You are /I them. They care about you too much for you to be so reckless with your life. Think about it, if you hadnt gone over there, things would be much better right now."
I felt a tear slip down my cheek. I didn't want to cry, but that /I. I knew I had hurt them, but to have Steve say that was too much.
"Well, you just know that that is my goal, Steve. I do /I to hurt them, you know that's my soul intention." I spat. I was nearly sobbing by the time that I was done with my sentence.
He turned, "You know what, shut up! This is /I the time for sarcasm. You didn't see them last night. I have never seen any of them so torn up. /I." His voice was shaking now, like he was trying to not start up with the crying thing too. That was weird, I thought he was the one that was mad.
"Well, you seem to be insinuating that. One thing before you walk out of here to never speak to me again...the way I saw it, I didn't have a choice last night. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't go over there."
"Rees? If you had to go over, why didn't you get someone to go with you?" the last sentence he said was in a whisper. He was all of the sudden gentle. Okay, I was freaking out now, he was going nuts!
"Steve, C'mere. Come back in. Please...I'm gonna tell you something -- but it cant get out to Darry or /I else. You understand? It will eventually, but now is not the time." My voice had gone real quiet again. I was really tired. I could hardly keep my eyes open through the tears and I couldn't hardly lift my head off the pillow.
He hesitantly walked over. "Yeah?"
"Steve...I did go looking for you guys. Anyone. But I...I couldn't find anyone. I didn't have time...and it was still too late...But I couldn't find anyone...I was frantic...I was scared out of my mind for Skye, I was terrified because of what I went through. Do you remember what I was like when I got home? Well, that wasn't even the half of it. Steve...I was soooo scared." I managed through my sharp breathing, the after affects of crying.
"Shhh...calm down. Honey, why cant I tell anyone?"
"I...I don't want...everyone has enough on their plate and...you might not understand, but if they find out they will blame themselves for it, for not being there when they were needed. You could think about it like you didn't know, couldn't know, but they will think that they should have known no matter what. It'll just make things worse if you tell them, not now. Okay?"
"Yeah, I wont, girlie." He shook his head. He still didn't understand, but at least he seemed to be relatively calm. Then he turned and walked out with out another word.
Yeah, he was still pissed, he would never understand, that was for sure.
`~``~``~``~`
(Steve's POV)
I was kicking myself for doing that. Why did I have to be so blunt and rude? Why couldn't I just be nice for once, when it /I mattered? Seriously. Sure, I needed to settle my peace, but that could have waited. I hate my damn temper! Wait, that is to say I hate everything. Everything, and this whole slew of shit with my one and only true family was just another thing to weigh down my list of "things I hate too much for my own good". There wasn't one thing in the world that was really worth anything, except maybe good old muscle cars, but I couldn't have them either.
But even that thought, the thought of one of the things I found good in life, didn't help at that point. It all came down to one thing, I'm a jackass...why? Why am I such a jerk, ass, bastard, idiot. God, could I not be nice to the few people I actually cared about? Apparently not...dumb-ass.
I wouldn't usually care about being a jack-ass, but in most circumstances it didn't really matter all that much. The problem I was hitting then was that it did matter at that point. Reesa didn't need me yelling at her. I'm sure she had the fuzz, her brothers, and everyone else under the sun on her about one thing or another, or over the whole thing in general, why did I have to be on her about it? I guess it had something to do with the fact that it wasn't right, and it made me real mad to see her like that, for that reason. She shouldn't be in here, at least not because her little sister is a stupid little bitch. Reesa had been through enough, and there I had been, yelling at her. She'll never forgive me for that one.
Looking back, I didn't think it could've gotten worse the first time she stumbled in the door that night two years ago. I thought that was as bad as it could get for her, she was in soo much pain, physically and mentally that it hurt me at the time. But now she had to go through it again, and I didn't understand why exactly, and I didn't agree, but obviously she felt like she had to do it, and it was the right thing. That made me mad, because she shouldn't have gone through that twice, especially with the second practically being put in the attempted murder category of my book. And what made me even more angry was that I couldn't do anything but express anger.