Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed
A/N: Ok, just to clarify some questions that I have been asked in my reviews…
1) I will not be including Leo in this story for two reasons, the first I don't really like him that much well I don't like writing his character, and second he's already a white lighter and I don't want magic in this fic I want to concentrate on the angst and the emotional storyline.
2) How Dan knew where to find Piper will be explained in the next chapter after this one.
3) The reason that I haven't really focused so much on Prue and Piper interacting is because I'm basing this on my experience's in Pipers position and I don't interact that much with my sister and when we do its not like we have long emotional talks. If there is a long emotional talk between Prue and Piper at some point that will not be based on my experiences.
4) I would like to put in a special note to P3Halliwell329 who unfortunately has given up on this world… I would like to dedicate this story to her, or him. Blessed Be
To Look Again – The Morning After
Piper awoke that morning, wrapped in Dan's arms as he slept. She replaced the shape of her body with a pillow so as not to disturb him and quickly pulled on some clothes, she then headed downstairs. She lifted a pen and searched for a piece of paper, when she found it she began to write,
Dear Dan,
I'm sorry I left you so early this morning… I can't explain why but I just need to get to the hospital… I don't even know if Prue's there of what but I just need to go, its not because I didn't enjoy last night… I'm glad that happened, I hope you are too. I just need to see if Prue is alright, and I wish that I could just lie in your arms all day but I'm sure that my Grams will be worrying about me and I need to see if Phoebe is coping alright. Thank you so much for last night, I don't know if I'd have survived it… in fact I'm sure I wouldn't have if you hadn't been there. I know it sounds dramatic but I feel like I'm falling for you… I don't know if you feel the same way. I'll possibly stop by at some point today, I hope you'll be home but don't feel you have to stay home incase I show up… I might not get a chance today.
Yours always, Piper.
With that Piper put the note on the table, a place she knew that Dan would find it and headed out quickly towards the hospital. She walked there; she had no money for a taxi and felt that the walk might do her good, get her so much needed fresh air. But the walk took about half an hour, which gave her that time to think about the previous night, something that she wished she wouldn't do… she hated what she had tried to do before Dan stopped her… she hated that she had just left Grams to deal with Prue, she didn't even know what had happened with Phoebe. Before she knew it she found herself standing in front of the hospital, she walked in and headed for the reception desk,
"Hi," smiled the reception, "How may I help you?"
"Erm… My sister, I'm not sure if she was brought in yesterday or if she wasn't and I was just wondering if she was here," replied Piper, knowing that she would feel stupid but relieved if Prue wasn't here,
"Ok, what's your sister's name?" asked the receptionist,
"Prue… Prudence Halliwell," replied Piper, remembering that she was not known as Prue in hospital,
"Let me check," said the receptionist as she typed the name into her computer, she clicked a few buttons and then turned back to Piper, "Yes, she was admitted here last night… around dinner time,"
"Can you tell me what room she's in?" asked Piper,
"Certainly she's on the third floor, room 654,"
"Thanks," said Piper and quickly she headed to the elevator. She arrived on the third floor a few seconds later and her hopes that Prue wasn't that bad were dashed when she saw a sign that said "Intensive Care" she slowly walked along the corridor and counted up from room 645 until she reached Prue's room. Grams and Phoebe were sitting on chairs outside the room, Piper walked up and smiled as Phoebe looked up towards her big sister, Phoebe got up and ran at Piper for a hug,
"Piper… its so good you're here," she said as she buried her face in Piper's side, Piper walked with her little sister over to Grams,
"How is she?" asked Piper quietly,
"She's not good Piper, no thanks to you…" snarled Grams, Piper looked at her Grams taken aback by her vicious reaction,
"Why are you two sitting out here," asked Piper,
"The doctors are examining her," said Grams,
"Yeah, but we've been allowed in before… when they've been…" said Piper but stopped as she saw Grams dangerous look on her face,
"Its because she in intensive care," said Phoebe, "The doctors need privacy, so we sit out here until they're finished,"
"Oh," replied Piper,
"Phoebe, be a dear and run down to the vending machine and buy Prue some chocolate for when she wakes up, get something for yourself… a drink or something," said Grams handing Phoebe money,
"I'll get that," said Piper,
"NO! Phoebe can go," said Grams pushing past Piper and handing Phoebe the money, Phoebe toddled off looking back several times as she went.
"Grams… about last night… I…" started Piper but Grams cut in,
"You want to explain yourself… what were you thinking Piper? How could you just leave, because you weren't there to do all the things I couldn't I had to leave Prue to get towels and tourniquets and phone the ambulance… what if those were her last moments and she was all alone?" said Grams, wanting to yell but keeping her voice lowered but angry in consideration for others,
"But they weren't her last moments, she's ok again," said Piper,
"She not ok! Piper she is in intensive care because she tried to kill herself and for some reason you wouldn't help her? Why wouldn't you help you big sister? Don't you love her? Why could you only think about you're self?" said Grams, her hurtful words cut through Piper like the razor blade from the night before,
"I wasn't thinking of myself," said Piper quietly,
"Then why did you run off… if you were thinking about Prue you wouldn't have ran away, you would have stopped and helped her… why were you so selfish?" said Grams,
"I wasn't… I was always thinking… about… Prue, never about myself, not for months," said Piper, tears welling up behind her eyes,
"What? What aren't you telling me Piper? I know when you're lying to me, and I just want to know why you ran away last night… why?"
"Never mind, you wouldn't understand," snarled Piper, as she turned away from her Grandmother,
"Speak to me Piper, don't just dismiss me," she said, "And don't take that tone with me,"
"Why not Grams? Why shouldn't I be allowed to yell at you? You yell at me for being selfish, and only thinking about me and abandoning Prue… you don't know what you're talking about! You never have!" said Piper,
"What do you mean?" asked Grams,
"For one thing, Prue didn't try to kill herself last night… are you so blind you couldn't even see that?" asked Piper,
"That's not true…she did and I saw her with my own eyes,"
"No Grams, she was self injuring… she wasn't trying to kill herself, the cuts weren't deep enough,"
"But I saw…" said Grams, in disbelief that Piper knew all this,
"And it hurt to see didn't it?" said Piper
"Of course," replied Grams,
"Well, I saw her last night, I saw her with the blade in her arm, I saw the blood in her bedroom, I found her stash of razors, the bloody tourniquets hidden in her closet, the pictures of our family where she has cut her face out… the ones that she treasured, I've seen the sadness in her eyes, the tears welling up behind them… and I found her after her latest suicide attempt. I found her with the cuts bleeding all over the floor… I've never seen as much blood in my whole life! And I saw the pill bottle, empty, with only a few pills by her side, I saw her unconscious face that still showed the pain that it always did… I saw all this! Now you tell me how much it hurt for you to find her!" said Piper, tears streaming down her face,
"Why didn't you tell me? How you were feeling?" asked Piper,
"Because you were never there! You always concentrated on getting Prue through this… I became invisible!"