Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed

To Look Again – Admitted, Coming Clean

Lets go back,

Back to the beginning,

Back to when

The earth, the sun, the stars, all align,

Cause perfect did feel so perfect,

Trying to fit a square into a circle,

Was no life?

 I defined….

"How can you think that you're invisible Piper? I just don't understand how you can feel these things?" said Grams, shocked at what her granddaughter had just admitted,

"That's just it Grams, you don't understand… you never can because you haven't seen what I've seen, felt what I'm feeling, you don't know what it feels like to cry yourself to sleep at night… you don't know what its like to wake up crying from nightmares, I just wanted someone to tell me that it was going to be alright but you were never there, you could never see all the I was going through and I tried to deal with it. I tried to shut it out, but its all just too much! I can't take it anymore Grams, I can't fight this alone because I think I'm slowly driving myself crazy… I can't get any of this out of my head, the pictures of Prue's bleeding arms are always there, her glazed over eyes as she lay on the floor unconscious! Everything is all inside my head and I can 't get rid of it… I can never get rid of it!" said Piper, slowly sobbing as she went,

"Piper I…" began Grams, but before she could finish the room to Prue's door opened back up, the doctors came trailing out and one stood before them,

"Mrs Halliwell," he asked,

"Yes, how's Prue?" asked Grams,

"She's awake, she's still a little groggy and out of things but she's awake and she appears to be doing better," said the doctor as he slowly flipped through some note he had in his hands,

"So she's going to be alright?" asked Grams,

"Yes. In fact she'll be moved to Wake Glen's this evening around six, she'll be settled in for medication tonight," said the doctor, "She was very lucky," he said as he walked off,

"We'll talk more at home," said Grams before she walked into Prue's room, "Prue?" asked Grams, as she pulled the curtains back and let some light into the room. Piper walked in slowly, this was a scene that she had seen too many times, Prue was hooked up to a drip; Piper assumed that it was giving nutrients, her arms were banged to her elbows and she had a small oxygen mask on. Prue smiled when she saw Piper appear, she moved her hand up and pulled the mask off,

"Hi," she smiled quietly; Piper just smiled and looked down at her sister,

"Prue… how are you feeling?" asked Grams, shyly, she was still bemused by what Piper had revealed to her. How could I not have noticed all the pain in this house, first Prue and then Piper… I wonder how Phoebe is coping… I wish I knew what was going on inside their heads…

"I'm alright," sighed Prue, she looked down at her bandaged wrists once more and then back at Grams, "I… I'm… sorry," she said quickly,

"That's alright dear…" said Grams after a few seconds, taken aback by Prue's apology, Prue had never mentioned anything before about being sorry, "As long as your alright everything will be fine… as long as you're ok," Piper smirked,

"What's up Piper?" asked Prue, Piper shot her a dirty look,

"Nothing," she grumbled, as she turned and faced the other direction,

"Piper?" asked Grams, but Piper didn't reply, she just continued looked away from her family, as slowly another tear dripped down her face, she didn't think she could cry as many tears as she had in the past few months, it seemed that her eyes had never been dry. She was always crying over the smallest thing but everything just seemed much bigger than it was to her. Everything caused tears, everything caused grief and hurt… she could never escape the pain.

Let the rain fall down,

And wake my dreams,

Let it wash away my sanity,

Because I want to feel the thunder, I want to scream,

Le the rain fall down,

I'm coming clean,

I'm coming clean,

Piper sat in the waiting room for the next half hour whilst Grams and Phoebe were inside talking, Prue had asked what was wrong with Piper and Grams said that she just wasn't feeling well and didn't want to pass anything onto Prue. After half an hour a porter walked up the hallway towards Prue's room, as they got nearer Piper knew that they were coming for Prue. She opened the door a few steps ahead of the porter,

"I think that…" she began but was interrupted by the porter,

"Prudence Halliwell?" he asked, looking a sheet he was carrying,

"Yes," replied Prue,

"Hi, I'm here to transport you to Wake Glen's. We'll take you downstairs and then get the transfer papers filled out then get you in an ambulance to take you there, ok?" he said casually,

"No!" exclaimed Prue, "I don't want to go!"

"I'm sorry, I'm just following procedure,"

"Can't… can't we take her ourselves?" asked Grams, "We were planning too anyway,"

"Sorry mam, I have to take her… Just doing my job,"

"I see," said Grams rather calmly,

"I don't," said Prue, "I won't go!"

"Come on Prue, it won't be that bad… promise,"

"Yes it will, Grams, don't let them take me,"

"I'm sorry Prue, we have to… but we'll visit every day, for hours and you'll never be alone, I promise," she replied. A tear slowly rolled down Prue's cheek,

"I won't cut anymore, I'll get better, I won't hurt myself or you or anyone, I won't I promise I won't!" she sobbed,

"I'm so sorry," said the porter, "But we really most get going," he said as he walked over to Prue's bed and put the sides up, he slowly start wheeling it out of the room,

"Grams!" yelled Prue, "Please, don't let them take me! Grams, no please! Grams?" she called as they slowly pushed her down the corridor; Grams lifted Prue's bags and carried them along the corridor after her, as Phoebe and Piper walked behind her.

I shedding, shedding every colour,

Trying to pigment of truth beneath my skin,

Cause different doesn't feels so different,

And going out is better than always staying in,

Let the rain fall down

Wake my dreams,

Let it wash away my sanity,

Because I want to feel the thunder, I want to scream,

Let the rain fall down,

I'm coming clean,

I'm coming clean,

After about half an hour, Prue had calmed down, she had sort of accepted where she was going although she still dreaded the though of going there. She had filled out all the papers she needed to, and tried her best to convince people that she hadn't tried to kill herself the only reply she got was "That's what you'll talk about in therapy, not here," After all the paper work was filled in she was taken into an ambulance and driven to Wake Glens. Grams, Piper and Phoebe followed in the car; the journey was in silence, as no one knew what to say. When they arrived at Wake Glen's fifteen minutes later everyone was feeling on edge, the paramedics helped Prue out of the ambulance and they headed inside. Prue was checked in and showed where she would be staying,

"This is our admissions room, you'll be in here for about a week or less if the room is needed and then you'll be moved to a woman's ward. At the moment you're on checks every fifteen minutes, that basically means that a member of staff will stick there head in the door to see how you're doing nothing more. Well, you've just missed breakfast but we can get you some toast if you want, lunch is served at 12.30 and dinner at 6.00, then there is tea and toast breaks throughout the day. You will be given you medication at 10.00 every night, just before bed and lights out is 11.00," said the nurse showing her into her room. Piper looked round as Prue sat on the bed and stared without expression at the bed sheets. Its tiny, like a little box, that's inside a bigger box… how could anyone survive in here, she thought I don't know how Prue is going to cope with any of this, I don't know how I will cope with any of this… how can I live at home without Prue there… without seeing her waking up in the morning, without seeing her at dinner, at lunch, at a family outing, without hearing her laughing on the phone… how will I survive school without her???

"Piper?" said Prue noticing how distressed her sister was getting, "You ok?"

"Yeah," lied Piper, she felt her breathing getting shallow but forced herself to breathe properly, she felt her heart racing and herself beginning to panic. She turned away from Prue, and pretended to notice the view, "You've got a decent view of the grounds," she said quietly,

"Yeah… its alright, I guess,"

"I'm going to get a glass of water… mouths all dry, back in a minute," said Piper quickly and then left the room.

Let the rain fall down,

I'm coming clean,

Let the rain fall down,

I'm coming clean,

Let the rain fall,

Let the rain fall,

I'm coming,

 Lets go back,

Back to the beginning…

A/N: This is just a quick note to P3Halliwell329… I'm so glad you're still with us. And I'm sorry that you feel how you do, and I understand.