Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed
To Look Again – Picture Of Truth
Grams, Piper and Phoebe left Wake Glens at nine 'o'clock that night and were going to return at nine the next morning. Piper felt guilty for leaving Prue, she walked slowly towards the car whilst Phoebe seemed to skip rather happily, Grams walked at her normal pace without even looking back.
What are you thinking? Thought Piper looking towards Phoebe, her sister who skipped happily towards the car, are you really as happy as you seem or is it all an act? I pretended to be happy, how could I ever be sure that you're not doing the same? Her eyes moved towards Grams, and for some reason she felt some resentment towards her grandmother, how can you just walk away… without even looking back! Its not like you don't understand what's going on, Phoebe might not be entirely sure of the situation but you are! You know what's happening yet you walk away, you don't look back… how can you just leave her… how can you make me leave her!!!
"Piper," Said Grams, snapping her out of her train of thought,
"What?" she said, shaking her head and snapping back into reality,
"Here's the car," said Grams in a monotone voice.
"Oh, right, yeah," sighed Piper as she walked towards the car, she pulled the door open and got in but waited before buckling her seat belt, If I do this seat belt… it will mean I'm actually leaving you… it will mean that you won't be at home with me, you won't be at breakfast tomorrow. How can I leave you?
"Piper, fasten your seat belt so we can go… Phoebe needs her bed, so do you," said Grams, Piper reluctantly pushed her seat belt into its fasten and felt tears well behind her eyes… she was leaving Prue in that place.
The journey home was yet another uncomfortable silence, Phoebe went straight to bed when she got in whilst Grams ushered Piper towards the kitchen. Piper sat down and watched as Grams walked endlessly round the kitchen, Piper let out a small cough in attempt to catch Grams' attention and make her sit down. Grams looked up and then continued pacing, then after a few minutes Piper decided to speak up,
"Grams… Grams," she said but got no reply as her grandmother just kept pacing, "Grams will you sit down! Please,"
"Piper…" sighed Grams, but no more words escaped her mouth before she burst into tears,
"Grams… I know this is hard for you. And I know that you are worried about Prue, that's why I didn't speak up… you needed to worry about Prue and I wanted you to… I didn't want you to care about me. And I got my wish, but the only problem was that it went too far. I became invisible but I still didn't speak up, because I didn't want to cause you any more pain… I didn't want any more pain on this family."
"But Piper, I'm your grandmother… you needed to tell me this, I need to know what you're feeling… you can't deal with this stuff alone." Replied Grams wiping falling tears from her cheeks.
"But I can… I have been for three years; I've been dealing with all of this without any help! And I still can!" argued Piper,
"Just tell me what your feeling, what your going through… please Piper," sobbed Grams,
"I can't… I don't want to upset any one anymore than I already have… I don't want to talk!" said Piper,
"Well… maybe if you don't want to talk to me…" started Grams,
"I don't want to talk to anyone!"
"Just hear me out," said Grams, trying for once to reason with her granddaughter, "Maybe we could arrange for you to speak to someone else… like a professional,"
"You want to send me to a shrink?" asked Piper shocked at what her grandmother had suggested,
"It would give you someone to talk to… and hopefully help you deal with these feelings…"
"No," replied Piper,
"Piper… please don't just dismiss this… think about it," asked Grams,
"I have thought about this Grams! I have thought about it so much!!! I have thought about seeing someone but I don't…" Piper paused for a second,
"You don't what?" asked Grams,
"I don't want to end up like Prue…" sighed Piper.
"What? You won't be like Prue, Prue never had any help with things but you can get the help that you need, you have this chance,"
"But… you don't understand I'm already like Prue… I hurt all the time and I can't find my way out of this black hole I always have to live in the darkness… but if I don't see anyone then I can pretend like I'm normal but seeing someone would make everything real… just now I can sort of pretend it's a dream… but seeing a therapist would mean that I can never wake up. I just want to wake up from this dream… I want to wake up…"
"Piper, I know that you're hurting right now… I'm hurting to and so is Phoebe but you aren't dealing with this and you need help to do that… I think that you should see someone," said Grams, trying to be as gentle as possible,
"But Grams… I… I need…" she began,
"What? What do you need?" asked Grams,
"I…" she said but then stopped, "I need to be alone," she said as she swiftly left the table and went upstairs, she threw herself onto her bed and began to think.
I should try to see Grams' point of view… but I can't turn out like Prue. This is how things started with her… how can I force Grams' and Phoebe to go through everything all over again? I can't go down the same road as Prue, she went to see someone and then they put her on meds and I don't want that… I don't want to ruin things all over again for this family. How can I even think about worrying about my problems when Prue is locked up in that place, I shouldn't give a damn about myself I should be worrying about Prue… she's locked in there and she can't get out and I don't know how I can help her…
As she sat up stairs in her bedroom, she felt tears slowly well up behind her eyes. She quickly wiped the tears and walked down to meet Grams at the bottom of the stairs – she had obviously also been crying as long as Piper had. She quickly wiped the tears and walked down to meet Grams at the bottom of the stairs – she had obviously also been crying as long as Piper had. Slowly Piper walked over to her Grams and stood facing her for a second before she spoke,
"Ok, I'll go… but," she started and seeing the look of relief on Grams face stopped her in her tracks,
"But what?" asked Grams smiling for the first time in weeks,
"Nothing… just nothing…" smiled Piper as she pulled Grams in for a hug. As she stood in her Grams' arms she thought inside herself, But I'm only doing it for you… and I'm not going on medication… not ever…I won't reveal my feelings… I'll just go for you Grams… for my family…