Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed.
A/N: I'm so sorry that I haven't updated for ages before this chap and the one before it… I deserve to be beaten with sticks and rocks… but before we get to that here's the next chapter and I hope you like it… I'll try to update more regularly.
To Look Again – Back To The Beginning
Piper sat outside the offices at the San Francisco Mental Health Center – Grams had made her an appointment there the day after their argument – and one week later Piper sat awaiting her meeting with Mrs Clarke, her new therapist. As she watched the minutes on the clock slowly ticked away, she saw her appointment time approaching and waited to be called into the interview room. Slowly the room door opened and the woman at reception called Piper's name, Piper looked up at the woman,
"Dr Clarke is expecting you… you can go on in," she said pointing to the door, Piper stood up and walked slowly towards the room.
"Piper Halliwell?" asked Dr Clarke when Piper walked in, Piper took a deep breath and nodded her head, "Sit down dear," said Dr Clarke,
"Hi," said Piper softly taking a seat in the chair opposite Dr Clarke,
"I'm Dr Clarke, so I guess to start with I should explain what we're going to be doing today…" she smiled, Piper smiled back but said nothing, "Well basically this is just an analysis so its nothing to be frightened about… I'm just going to ask you some questions and you just have to answer. Nothing will be to in-depth or anything hard to answer so we'll just start with some personal details ok?" asked Dr Clarke.
"Ok," said Piper, keeping her voice low and her sentences small,
"Ok, well we already have all your basic information… name, address, age, home phone number and things like that… so basically I'm just going to start by asking you this question and although it seems like a very in depth question I just want a simple answer so just the basics for now… ok?" said Dr Clarke,
"Yeah," said Piper, brushing some stray strands of hair out of her face and tucking them neatly behind her ears,
"Why do you think that you've come to see me?" asked Dr Clarke,
"My Grams said that I should see someone," replied Piper,
"I don't want to know about what your Grams thought just now I want to know what you think, what made you agree to come here," replied Dr Clarke,
"Well," started Piper, feeling slightly down-hearted that her first answer had been incorrect when she thought you couldn't answer incorrectly; "Erm… I decided to come because I didn't want to hurt anyone anymore," replied Piper, trying not to reveal too much. Partly because Dr Clarke had told her not to divulge to much but mostly because she didn't want to.
"Ok, so you thought that you were hurting people… who did you think you were hurting?" asked Dr Clarke,
"My family," replied Piper,
"How were you hurting them?"
"I… I was keeping things to myself and that was helpful because then my Grams could worry about Prue and then I…" Piper paused for a second,
"Its sounds to me like you thought you would hurt them if you told them what was wrong so you kept it all to yourself but you won't hurt people by telling them these things… it sounds to me like your very confused as to what's been going on with everything, am I right?"
"No," replied Piper instantly and stubbornly, "I know that I'm not confused… I know what's been going on, I mean I've found her body twice… I've had to lie to my little sister to stop her from finding out and Grams… I've had to support Grams, and everything… I know what's going on, my sister is depressed and suicidal and I know this and its true and I know that and… and… and I… and I just…" Piper paused as she felt the tears well up behind her eyes – an all too familiar feeling – Dr Clarke looked down at Piper,
"Piper, tell the truth… these sessions cannot help you if you don't let them,"
"But I do…" that was when it finally hit Piper, she didn't know what was going on with Prue, she never had.
"Ok, lets go right back to when all this began… how long ago was that?" asked Dr Clarke,
"Three years," replied Piper, sniffling back the tears,
"Ok, and how did you find out about things?"
"I saw the scars on her arms… and the fresher cuts and I knew what it was," replied Piper,
"Had you ever came into contact with a case of self-harm before?"
"No,"
"Then how did you know that was what it was?" asked Dr Clarke,
"I don't know… I just did, I knew the cuts were self inflicted," said Piper defiantly,
"Ok, so then what happened?"
"I didn't tell anyone," said Piper,
"Piper I'm afraid I might need more than one of two words if I'm to help you with these feelings," said Dr Clarke,
"What? How can you say that to me! You have just met me and your asking me to give you details to one of the most significant moments in my life! You're asking me to tell a stranger my secrets! I can't do that… I could never do that… I couldn't even tell my own family and you expect me to be able to talk to someone I just met!"
"Piper, calm down," said Dr Clarke,
"No!" Yelled Piper, getting out of her seat and marching towards the door, "This session is over." She said as she stormed out the door, slamming it behind her.