Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Charmed
A/N: This chapter would have been posted way sooner except apparently "document manager" on fanfic is closed for repairs so I can't update.
To Look Again – Walking In Your Shoes
Piper awoke one morning; about a week after the thought that she might be depressed herself had entered her mind. She had spend the past week trying to force herself to be happier but it had worked against her as she had actually convinced herself that she was suffering from depression just like Prue. She got dressed quickly that morning, pulling on jeans and a black shirt with full-length sleeves. Slowly she walked over to the mirror, she looked herself up and down, the clothes reminded her of what Prue used to wear, everything with long sleeves and always-dark jeans. Slowly she walked out of her bedroom and down into the kitchen where she saw Grams and Phoebe sitting around the kitchen, she walked in and smiled a false smile hello,
"Piper it's a lovely sunny day, and here you are wearing black again, why not run upstairs and pull on some shorts and nice summary top, with short sleeves, you can get some sun about you today," said Grams,
"I like black, its slimming," replied Piper, the same thing that Prue had said whenever Grams told her to change,
"Ok, you don't need to be any slimmer your just fine the way you are. But if you insist on wearing black then at least put on a T-Shirt," replied Grams,
"My arms feel cold today," said Piper pulling her arms behind her back,
"Piper, what are you hiding?" demanded Grams, marching over to Piper and pulling Pipers arms towards her,
"Nothing, Grams leave it!" yelled Piper, but Grams grabbed Piper's arms and pulled the sleeves up. To reveal an arm full of cuts and gashes.
Prue lay awake in her bed, though it was already past ten and the nurses had already shouted her to wake up she there in bed anyway. She turned onto her back and looked up at the ceiling, slowly she began counting the ceiling tiles – again. This was something that she did regularly when she refused to get up. There were two hundred and seventeen on the ceiling of her ward. Half an hour past and Prue dragged herself out of bed, slowly she walked into the bathroom and striped down to nothing and got into the shower. The warm water felt refreshing, she just wished that it could wash away all her pain, but she knew that nothing was that powerful and what was worse she was passing it all onto her family, especially Piper. After her shower she stood in the middle of the small bathroom dripping wet and watching the water droplets fall to the floor tiles, she lifted her bath towel and slowly began to rub her arms dry, slowly watching the cuts on her arm become red from her rubbing at them. Slowly she felt a tear drip down her face, as she realised what she had become. I'll never be like anyone else, I'll always have these scars as a reminder of all of this. Every time I need to wear a short-sleeved top I'll remember all this, all these horrible years… I can never escape it; I will always have my battle scars…
Piper jolted upright in her bed, panting and sweating, she lifted her hands up in a panic and pulled her pyjama top's sleeves down to her elbows, she let out a sigh of relief to see her arms were scar less. She wiped the sweat from her forehead, and rolled over facing the window. Slowly she calmed her breathing down to a regular rhythm, she slowly began to fall back asleep with her thoughts. I knew it, I'm depressed. Just like Prue, I'm feeling what she was feeling, there's no way I can get out of this pattern now… I might as well just ride it out, there's no saving me now. I'll en dup just like Prue, I knew it… and with that she feel into a troublesome sleep.
"So, how have you been recently?' asked Anna, it was later that day, Grams had woken Piper not long after she had drifted back to sleep and reminded her of her appointment,
"Ok," lied Piper, looking sheepishly around the room,
"Piper? Are you lying to me," asked Anna, although she already knew the answer,
"Yes, but only because I need to," replied Piper,
"Why do you need to?" asked Anna,
"Because you'll just put me on pills that don't work, because I'm just like Prue! I'm just like her, I'm depressed and I don't want the pills! I don't want them!" said Piper, in a rushed manor,
"Piper, calm down. Now, I don't want to sound patronising but you're not depressed. This is a common thing with people like you who are witnessing a close family member dealing with a mental illness start to show some empathy with them. They think that they are becoming like them, that they are sharing the same incidents and circumstances as with the other person. But that's all it is, it just empathy. You're not depressed, your just trying to find a way of dealing with this, and your way of dealing with this is to diagnose yourself with something so that you have something to fight, which is also normal. But your diagnosis will be complete soon, and you will have something to fight – but it won't be depression," replied Anna, Piper let out a sigh of relief and slouched back into her chair, it felt comforting since she had been sitting ridged since the beginning of the appointment,
"So I'm not turning into Prue," she asked,
"No," Piper, smiled. It wasn't true, she wasn't turning into Prue, somehow knowing that she wasn't gave her some kind of clarity, it meant that she wouldn't have to fight that same battle as Prue had been. It meant that she could focus all her energy on trying to help Prue through this, whilst taking care of Phoebe and Grams and herself. For the first time she felt that things were getting better.