Hermione truly wanted to speak, but didn't want to interrupt at this time.
She could tell Harry was sobbing into his hands.
Harry didn't want his friends to see him sobbing. His hands were over his face and once in awhile he would look into the fire hoping Sirius's head would be there, smiling as if waiting for Harry to look up. Harry knew that it would never come true. He knew this, but he didn't want to believe it. The only person that understood Harry, the person that cared about him the most, the one person Harry truly treasured was gone.
As Harry made one last glance at the fire to see if he had appeared, Ron interrupted his hopes.
"Harry? Why are you looking at the fire like that? Do you think that Siri... I mean he's gonna be there?" asked Ron sympathetically.
"I dunno. maybe if I just kept wishing. maybe it will come true. Maybe he will show up one day. Maybe he won't be dead." Harry's voice drained out of him as he said the last word. Harry grew quiet once more.
Hermione noticed that Harry was uncomfortable talking about Sirius aloud. She finally took up the courage to speak. "Harry, don't put yourself through this misery. Not again.. This is life, Harry. You have to face what comes to you. And this is just one of the worst things that happened to you. Someday, there may be worse."
At the sound of those words Harry felt his temper rising. How could she say that there could be something worse than Sirius dying? This was as bad as it could get.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE COULD BE WORSE? THIS IS THE WORSE IT CAN GET! I HAVE LOST THE CLOSEST THING TO A FATHER I HAD! HE WAS THE ONLY PERSON I COULD TALK TO!" yelled Harry. His voice wasn't as loud as he usually gets it because he was sobbing nonstop at the time.
Hermione and Ron pushed their chairs away from Harry a few inches. Hermione began to get teary. She hated it when Harry threw a tantrum.
Harry noticed her eyes and decided to calm himself down. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I didn't mean to scowl at you like that. I just." He paused for a moment. "I just don't know what to do right now." Once again, his voice drifted from his mouth as if someone was pulling it away slowly.
"I'm gonna to go to bed," Harry said softly. He picked up his stuff and walked up the spiral staircase toward his dormitory. Ron and Hermione stayed behind.
"What should we do now?" asked Ron.
"For once, I don't know. There is nothing we can do. The only thing that would take him out of his state of depression would be Sirius coming back. And we would never be able to do that," said Hermione with a state of disappointment in her eyes.
"Let's just get some rest. We'll figure it out tomorrow," said Ron followed by a huge yawn.
Hermione didn't answer with words. But instead picked up her stuff and walked slowly to the girls' dormitories. Crookshanks followed.
Ron walked up quickly to his dormitory because he didn't like walking alone in the middle of the night. As he creaked open the door, he saw that Harry was not asleep. Ron didn't dare to say anything since Seamus and Dean were already fast asleep.
Once Ron was changed, he got into his four-poster and drowned off quietly to sleep.
Harry remained awake, pondering about his life before Sirius had passed away. He remembered the time he had rescued Sirius from Azkaban as soon as he found out that Sirius was his godfather. Harry thought about all the letters Sirius had written him when he was hiding from the ministry. Harry tried to reread each one in his head, but there were too many. He just couldn't remember.
Harry was glad that he had saved all the letters. He now had three things that are most precious to him since the day of Sirius's death. His Firebolt, which was a gift from Sirius, all the letters he had written, and finally the mirror that was supposed to allow Harry to see Sirius anytime he wanted. Now, he would never be able to see Sirius at the other end of the mirror.
The one thought that would be kept in Harry's mind forever was the fact that Sirius had died in battle trying to save the wizarding world from evil and to protect Harry. Harry couldn't help but think that it was his fault that his godfather had died. If Harry had practiced Occlumency, if he didn't have the vision of Sirius being tortured, only if he hadn't gone down to the Department of Mysteries, his godfather would still be alive.
Harry began to cry as he recalled all his mistakes that could have kept Sirius alive. Soon enough, he had cried himself to sleep.
The next morning, Harry realized something that could help his misery lighten. He had to speak to Luna Lovegood once more.
Harry didn't want his friends to see him sobbing. His hands were over his face and once in awhile he would look into the fire hoping Sirius's head would be there, smiling as if waiting for Harry to look up. Harry knew that it would never come true. He knew this, but he didn't want to believe it. The only person that understood Harry, the person that cared about him the most, the one person Harry truly treasured was gone.
As Harry made one last glance at the fire to see if he had appeared, Ron interrupted his hopes.
"Harry? Why are you looking at the fire like that? Do you think that Siri... I mean he's gonna be there?" asked Ron sympathetically.
"I dunno. maybe if I just kept wishing. maybe it will come true. Maybe he will show up one day. Maybe he won't be dead." Harry's voice drained out of him as he said the last word. Harry grew quiet once more.
Hermione noticed that Harry was uncomfortable talking about Sirius aloud. She finally took up the courage to speak. "Harry, don't put yourself through this misery. Not again.. This is life, Harry. You have to face what comes to you. And this is just one of the worst things that happened to you. Someday, there may be worse."
At the sound of those words Harry felt his temper rising. How could she say that there could be something worse than Sirius dying? This was as bad as it could get.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE COULD BE WORSE? THIS IS THE WORSE IT CAN GET! I HAVE LOST THE CLOSEST THING TO A FATHER I HAD! HE WAS THE ONLY PERSON I COULD TALK TO!" yelled Harry. His voice wasn't as loud as he usually gets it because he was sobbing nonstop at the time.
Hermione and Ron pushed their chairs away from Harry a few inches. Hermione began to get teary. She hated it when Harry threw a tantrum.
Harry noticed her eyes and decided to calm himself down. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I didn't mean to scowl at you like that. I just." He paused for a moment. "I just don't know what to do right now." Once again, his voice drifted from his mouth as if someone was pulling it away slowly.
"I'm gonna to go to bed," Harry said softly. He picked up his stuff and walked up the spiral staircase toward his dormitory. Ron and Hermione stayed behind.
"What should we do now?" asked Ron.
"For once, I don't know. There is nothing we can do. The only thing that would take him out of his state of depression would be Sirius coming back. And we would never be able to do that," said Hermione with a state of disappointment in her eyes.
"Let's just get some rest. We'll figure it out tomorrow," said Ron followed by a huge yawn.
Hermione didn't answer with words. But instead picked up her stuff and walked slowly to the girls' dormitories. Crookshanks followed.
Ron walked up quickly to his dormitory because he didn't like walking alone in the middle of the night. As he creaked open the door, he saw that Harry was not asleep. Ron didn't dare to say anything since Seamus and Dean were already fast asleep.
Once Ron was changed, he got into his four-poster and drowned off quietly to sleep.
Harry remained awake, pondering about his life before Sirius had passed away. He remembered the time he had rescued Sirius from Azkaban as soon as he found out that Sirius was his godfather. Harry thought about all the letters Sirius had written him when he was hiding from the ministry. Harry tried to reread each one in his head, but there were too many. He just couldn't remember.
Harry was glad that he had saved all the letters. He now had three things that are most precious to him since the day of Sirius's death. His Firebolt, which was a gift from Sirius, all the letters he had written, and finally the mirror that was supposed to allow Harry to see Sirius anytime he wanted. Now, he would never be able to see Sirius at the other end of the mirror.
The one thought that would be kept in Harry's mind forever was the fact that Sirius had died in battle trying to save the wizarding world from evil and to protect Harry. Harry couldn't help but think that it was his fault that his godfather had died. If Harry had practiced Occlumency, if he didn't have the vision of Sirius being tortured, only if he hadn't gone down to the Department of Mysteries, his godfather would still be alive.
Harry began to cry as he recalled all his mistakes that could have kept Sirius alive. Soon enough, he had cried himself to sleep.
The next morning, Harry realized something that could help his misery lighten. He had to speak to Luna Lovegood once more.