OK, guys, I know I haven't been around for awhile (sorry, Metallikid) and I know you all miss my insulting uppity ways, so here I am. I'm coming with a new fic in a couple of weeks and here is a...drumroll, pu-lease...PREVIEW! Yes, lucky you! A never before read sneak peek of the upcoming Ocdsugar original fan fiction: :

(Title withdrawn)

Disclaimer: I don't own AOL or any of the Teen Titans, though it is my fondest wish to own the Batmobile.

Special Preview, Tale 0: Dare to Be Stupid

"Robin!?"

Robin was sitting in the gym, trying to figure out if he was too weak to bench press 3 times his own weight. Starfire had just flown in. "Star, is everything okay?"

"No, Robin, NOTHING is 'okay'." She cried. "Cyborg and Beast Boy are fighting over a box that came in the mail because of an effervescent binding of some sort and what is inside this box, and Raven is yelling that you can 'choke' on this effervescent binding and that the box is merely a 'corporation's' way of getting you to become 'materialistic' and purchase their products."

Not only did Robin not get a word of what she was saying, he guessed that she didn't know half the words she was telling him herself.

"Star, slow down. Take a deep breath-"

"How can one hold his or her breath at a time like this?"

"Remember how we talked about expressions and literal translation?"

"Yes, but, Robin, this is a dire situation that needs handling right away!"

"How can it be any different from any other fight they have?"

"Because I am afraid Raven was correct in guessing Beast Boy would 'choke' on the effervescent binding."

"Oh, Jesus..." Seeing his dismayed face, she grabbed his hand and flew out of the room, dragging the Boy Wonder behind her. When they got to the mail room of the tower, his expression became even more dismayed. "Oh, Jesus...what the hell happened?!"

Beast Boy was on the ground, choking, but trying to hold on to the carton he and Cyborg were fighting over...at the same time. He was trying to grab at the package with one hand while giving himself the Heimlich maneuver with the other. Meanwhile, Raven was standing above them, watching with obvious interest, and trying with all her might not to say 'I told you so'.

Robin took charge immediately. "Raven, go sit down, Cyborg, stop bopping Beast on the head and help him up, no, give ME the box!" He put the box on a side table nearby. "What is BB choking on?"

"The effervescent binding." Starfire answered automatically.

"Star, I don't want to be mean, especially to you, but what the hell is 'effervescent binding'?"

"This." She held up a large sheet of something.

"It's BUBBLE WRAP." He took it from her. "THIS is what you were fighting over?"

"Yep." Cyborg said, embarrassed.

"And this..." He grabbed the package and ripped it open. "AOL 1045 hours free CDs ... is the big deal? Do you know how many of these freakin' things we get everyday? 27 of them fell out of our newspaper this morning!"

The group was silent. Robin went on. "And HOW could Beast Boy start choking on BUBBLE WRAP?"

"He started popping them with one of his fangs."

"I'm amazed that you could be so...so..."

"Stupid?" Raven suggested. "Irresponsible?"

"Yes, thank you, Raven-"

"Your welcome."

"-But I want to know why you didn't bother to break them up."

"I hoped they would finally knock each other unconscious."

Beast Boy, still rolling around on the floor, tugged on Robin's cape. "Still, ack, choke-ack..."

"Oh, sorry..." But no one moved. "Why isn't anyone helping him?"

They all shrugged.