Summary: AU. Basil is an eccentric genius who works as an assistant at a flower store, trying to impress his female co-worker (Moan and weep, all ye Basil fan girls!). Dawson is the owner who considers Basil to be like a son to him. Ratigan is genetic experiment R285426. Through a series of happy (and some mildly unhappy) incidents, Basil ends up with a plant in an odd pot, bearing the tag "Experiment R285426". When the plant grows to enormous size, it develops strange abilities, like, oh, say, talking?
--------------------------------------------
"Basil?", Dawson called up the stairs. "Basil?"
"Coming!" Basil shouted, dashing down the stairs. Stopping at the bottom, he paused to catch his breath. "Hello, Dawson." He looked up, confused. "Where's Age?"
Dawson shook his head in mild disgust. "Going out with that dentist again."
Basil sighed, sadly. "She was going out with him again?" Snapping out of his momentary reverie, he glanced back up at Dawson. "Do you want help with anything?"
Dawson sighed. "Business lately has been poor. We're going to have to do something quick in case things start getting worse."
Basil mentally agreed. While he was a genius in some aspects, he had a tendency to be mildly eccentric, which caused a lot of businesses to not want him as an employee. Dawson was kind enough, however, to give him a job and board here, which was enough.
However business hadn't exactly been good lately, and they would have to do something quick for all their sakes.
Basil thought a moment. "Well, there is that strange plant I got recently."
--------------------------------------------
"Yes", Dawson said finally after a moment of staring at the strange, Venus Flytrap-like plant, "that is strange."
Instead of shades of green, the plant was mostly black in coloration, with exotic stripes of crimson red along the edges and veins of the leaves, and marking the pod on the top of the stem.
"Where did you get such an unusual plant, Basil?"
Basil frowned and thought a moment. "I think... I think it was that Chinese man down the street."
"Well, that's nothing new. You can always expect something weird over there-"
"But", Basil interrupted, "this is truly odd." At this, he pulled out a tag that was completely blank, save for the words "ExperimentR285426".
"I say, Basil, was that-?"
"From the plant?", Basil finished. "Yes. The owner of the store said the man who left it here was possibly from the military. Odd, no?"
"Yes, it seems a bit fishy..."
--------------------------------------------
And so they placed it in the front window. Eventually one person came. And another. And another.
Until, finally, the day was over.
--------------------------------------------
Basil sighed. "That was one hard day." Dawson had left already, and Basil was left to organize the plants in the basement. His exotic plant was on his desk, where he'd left it.
Basil grimaced at the thought of the plant. He'd scoured through all of his botany books twice, and he found absoloutely nothing. Nadda. Zilch.
And there was the matter of the strange tag. "Experiment R285426"? There was only one meaning for that: This... thing wasn't created naturally.
"Ouch!" Basil suddenly yelped. He was so lost in thought, he had accidentally mishandled some roses, pricking his finger, and causing him to drop the pot. "Damn roses!", he swore, sucking on the wounded finger. Turning to find a replacement pot, he saw something that shocked and amazed him at the same time.
Sitting in front of the plant was the box of bandages, with the plant actually nudging it towards him. Trying not to seem ungrateful, and despite his shock, he accepted the box with a meek "Thank you".
--------------------------------------------
Later, as he sat and ate his cheese pizza, he examined the plant with curiousity, and it did so with him.
"What are you?", he asked finally, his pizza devoured, leaving only the crusts.
The plant changed the subject by poking its nose towards the pizza crusts. Basil sighed, but agreed. The plant happily scarfed down the pizza crusts, and Basil wondered what effects it would have on the plant.
--------------------------------------------
But it did just the opposite of harming the plant. In fact, it made the plant grow bigger, and bigger, until it became almost as high as the ceiling, and needed to be kept in the main room, just because it was so big. Thankfully, it stopped growing after that.
But, while Basil was pleased with his success with the plant, he was saddened with his failure with Adrienne. He had deduced, though Age never told them, that her dentist boyfriend was beating her for any and every mistake she made.
It was a hard time for Basil, but it was about to get a bit harder, if not odder...
--------------------------------------------
At the window, Basil watched as Jack's (the dentist) motorcycle pulled up to his apartment, Age riding on the back. As they stopped, Age fell off, and he watched in horror as Jack slapped her face.
"I don't believe it", Basil said to himself. "Why didn't she see it in that man?!" Turning to the plant, now taller than him, he said "It can't get any worse than this."
Suddenly, the plant's closed flower-like bulb tipped forward, looking more like a muzzle now than ever. "Agh, crap! Not you, too!" Sighing, he turned away, wishing he'd never said it couldn't get worse. "You're pretty much the only reason Age stays at the store with her father."
He growled angrily. "What does a guy like me have to do to get attention around here?!"
"What?", a voice asked sarcastically from behind him. "Like it would kill you to talk to her?!"
Basil whipped around, gasping. That voice... There was only one place it could logically have come from. "No..."
Tsuzuku...