A Final Farewell

Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, I only use them for my own plots.

A/N: Okay, I don't know what a recovery room looks like in a hospital, because I've never been in one, nor anyone I know, so therefore my interpretation of one might be off. But that's what this is my interpretation, so don't blame me if it's completely wrong. Also there are about 4 more chapters in the story I think. Happy reading.

A/N: Also I know it's kind of late in the game to be asking but is anyone willing to be my beta, if so please email me at singerchik1988 at aol. com I would appreciate it a lot if you could. Thanks so much.

Walking in, she was hit with the strong smell of ammonia. The room was completely sterile, void of anything personal, except for Logan's glasses sitting on the table by the bed. She knew she didn't have a lot of time, but she wanted to get out what she had to say before she lost the nerve, to face him, even if he couldn't hear her.

There was a small wooden chair, placed by the bed, sitting in it, she took Logan's hand in her own, it was heavy and much to her dismay incredibly cold. But it was a wonderful feeling, touching him again, she realized at that moment just how much she had missed being in his presence.

Whispering she started, "God, I don't even know where to start. So much has happened, but I guess the most logical place is at I'm sorry. For ever, even letting myself forget you, for almost letting them make me believe you were the bad guy, when I should have known all along that it was them I should have be fighting. But I..." closing her eyes she tried to compose herself before she continued. "I had no choice, what they did to me. Why am I making excuses, I shouldn't be making excuses, that isn't what you want to hear. I don't even know why I came here...wait yes I do, to come see if you were still alive after what I did to you." she said almost bitterly.

The silence in the room except for the heart monitor and ventilator was almost disturbing. But the silence was almost all too quickly broken by the sound of feet pounding in the hallway. "That would be security." She turned to leave, but turned back, kissing him softly on the lips and whispering "I love you," she left the room, walking casually down the hallway past the guards, turning her face away as they went by, she went to the waiting room that was down the hall.

She decided to make herself comfortable for the night, she wasn't leaving the hospital until she knew that he was okay. It was empty so she could lay on one of the worn out couches. She lay staring at the ceiling for over an hour, listening to the sounds of a hospital at the peak hours of business.

Finally the pull of sleep finally allowed her to get the rest that she needed. She could go days without sleep, but the past few days had really pulled on her reserves of energy. She slept dreamlessly, and was awakened only once, when another woman sat down in the waiting room with a crying baby. She tried to ignore the baby, but the screaming emulating from it were screams of hunger or tiredness. She turned to face the back of the couch and stared at the worn out fabric. Sighing she closed her eyes, the baby was quiet now, turning her head she heard the mother singing softly to the tiny form. Her voice drifted over to where Max was laying, it was a soft lullaby she had never heard before, but it was sweet and it put Max to sleep as well as the baby.

She slept for a few more hours before get up, she stood, and folded the blanket and draped it across the back of the couch, leaving it for the next waiting loved one to use. Glancing around, the waiting room was still empty, the mother who had been there earlier with the baby, had left sometime while she slept.

Smoothing her hair, she checked the hallway to make sure that no security guards were lurking around to catch her and escort her off the grounds. The coast was clear and she walked slowly down the hall, she knew that she looked terribly out of place in her black clothes. Not even close to anyone's idea of belonging there.

She was starting to wonder if she belonged anywhere, with Logan she had always known her place, but if she lost him, she didn't know what she was going to do. She didn't dwell on it, she wouldn't let herself believe anything but that he was going to be okay. That was what she had to believe in, and that was all that she was going to believe in.

The blinds and the door to the room were still closed, but this time she knocked on the door before walking in just in case he was awake. Receiving no answer she concluded that he must still be asleep, therefore she walked right in again. But was greeted with a sight that she could have done without.

The hospital bed was completely empty, the sheets folded up nicely, turned down at the top, evidence that they had been freshly changed. She stepped in the room a little further, checking the bathroom, but as the bed revealed, the room was empty. Max restrained her mind from thinking the worst, but that was difficult to do with so many scenarios running through it.

Throwing the door open she power walked down in the opposite direction from where she had come to the nurses' station. No one was there, but the charts were stacked up on the counter. Checking over her shoulder to make sure no one was coming, she flipped through the stack of files. She found the one she need, Cale was all it said, opening the cover a big red stamp was put across the front of the first page, and it said DECEASED.

Blinking her eyes rapidly, she checked to make sure she wasn't dreaming. She was too in shock to do anything besides drop the file on the ground and walk away, to in shock even to cry. Her head felt like it was floating as she made it to the parking lot. Realizing that she no longer had a car, she started to walk.

Without knowing where she was going she continued to walk, until she stood outside of her old apartment building. Walking inside the building she walked up the stairs and down the hall until she was standing in front of the door to her apartment that she used to share with Original Cindy. Raising her hand slowly she was going to knock on the door when she realized that Cindy was probably at work. Turning away, she backed up against the wall and slid to the floor, burying her head in her knees. Learning about Logan's death, finally brought her over the edge.

She heard the floor creak and looked up to see a stunned Original Cindy, holding a bag of groceries, which she promptly dropped on the ground when she saw Max's face. "Max," she said softly disbelief contending with the fear in her voice. "Don't let me be dreaming...Max," O. C. said reaching out to touch Max as if to make sure that she was really real. Catching her hand Max held it in her own.

"Hi." Max replied, her voice filled with pain.

"How are you he-? ... No, I'm not even going to ask, you're here and that's all that matters." Her eyes filled with tears as she wrapped Max in a hug. Pulling away reluctantly she examined Max's face, seeing the pain in her friends she asked, "Max what's wrong?"

"Logan's dead, didn't the hospital call, I gave your number in case of an emergency, and I figured they would have called you."

"They didn't, maybe they didn't have a chance too. Max I'm so sorry, how did it happen?"

"It's a long story." Max said miserably.

"Well we have all the time in the world, here," O.C. said opening the apartment door. They sat in the living room as Max shared her story, Original Cindy sat silently. Just listening as Max poured her heart out to her best friend.

Telling her story took Max the better part of three hours, then she wanted to know all about how everyone else was doing. By the time they were done it was 11pm and Cindy was ready to go to bed. After Cindy had shut her door, Max walked around the apartment, and found that Cindy had kept everything as it had once been. Even Max's room had stayed untouched. It was dusty but everything was in its rightful place.

What caught Max's eye were the pictures of her and Logan, which lined the wall. There were few, but they reminded her of happier times. Times that they had spent together, just talking, laughing and eating, Max smiled a little. She promised herself that, she had to be strong, it's what Logan would have wanted.

Going back to the living room, Max stared out the picture window, onto the street below. The world had seemed to stand still while she had been gone, everything was the same, except Logan. She had never had a chance to say that she was sorry directly to his face, he would never know.

"God Logan, I'm sorry," she said aloud. She heard movement and turned around.

A/N: Hehehe, don't you wish you knew who it was.