A Final Farewell

Chapter 17

Disclaimer: Don't own anything of it, all belongs to the important people.

A/N: I guess I need to rephrase when I said that the last chapter would be important, it was to just set the scene, and to get a better insight into Max's head and what she was thinking, sorry to anyone that I confused, I actually forgot I wrote that in chap 16, sorry, forgive me. So now I have nothing more to say, imagine that.

Eruanne: Thanks, I really appreciate the offer, but my friend Mia offered to do it, and since you said you were really busy, I didn't want to burden you. So here is my first beta chapter. Hehehe

She dreamed of Logan as she lay in bed, the last time that she had seen his face. How hurt and in pain he had looked as he lay in the hospital, limp and cold. She slept in his bed that night, and dreamt that he was beside her standing next to the bed. When she opened her eyes all she could see was darkness. One of the frequent brown-outs had cast the apartment into shadow. Disabling all the lights in the entire building until the power came back on.

Sure enough half an hour later the lights flickered back on dim at first and then increasing in brightness. Brown outs usually came in threes or fours, so she found the candles that Logan kept in the kitchen drawer. She placed them around the apartment but didn't bother to light them, for chance that the brown out had been a fluke. She took one back to the bedroom with her, lighting it with a match she set it on the nightstand next to the bed.

The flame danced as an unidentified breeze swept through the room, just as another brown out hit the neighborhood. Sighing, she grabbed the candle, soon the apartment was cast in a red, orange glow as the candle light hit the walls. The apartment was quiet, only broken by the sound of sirens sweeping through the streets below, looking for troublemakers to bring in.

An incredible wave of sadness flooded through Max, but she didn't know why. The apartment seemed so empty without him there. But there seemed to be an underlying cause to her pain, it could have been sadness. Sadness usually felt different, maybe a dull ache, but this felt like it was gnawing at her heart. Then one word came to mind; guilt that's what it was an incredible guilt.

She couldn't stay in the apartment any longer, the memories that flooded over her were too much to bear. She had spent the entire morning, afternoon and evening, reading his journal, without realizing it. She cast one more look around the apartment and walked out for what she knew would be the last time. She arrived at her apartment only to find a note pinned to the door. Ripping it off it read,

Max,

Went to Crash, come join us.

O. C.

Max wasn't ready to face her friends, but she knew that sooner or later she would have to, so better sooner than later. She dressed in her usual, her black leather jacket, black cargo pants, and a black t-shirt. She still had her Jam Pony sector pass which made it easy enough to get from sector to sector although she hadn't actually worked there, in what had it been five months?

Crash was crowded as usual so no one was extremely aware of her presence in the bar. Cindy saw her before the others did, walking up to her Max asked, "Did you tell them?"

"Yeah, they were pretty shocked, but I think they understand."

"You think they understand? Either they understand or they don't." She hadn't meant for it to come out as bitter, but she guessed that was they way she had sounded. "I'm sorry, it's just that I've been hiding what I am from everyone that I know and love for so long to have so many people know, it just seems kind of..."

"Scary? Max I've known you for almost four years, and they've known you longer than me. When I found out, yeah I was scared shitless, but I got over it. They know who you are, what you are don't matter. They just glad to have you back to look out for their asses."

This put a smile on Max's face which contagiously put one on OC's. "Come on, let's get this dealio over with." She walked up to the table only to be greeted with a gigantic group hug from Sketchy and a firm handshake and then a hug from Herbal, who Max couldn't help but notice was dressed like a normal person, not a Rastafarian. "Herbal, since when you start dressing like Normal."

"Since I and I quit workin' at Jam Clydesdale and started working for a law firm."

"Herbal's gone all respectable on us has he? What happened to it's all good all the time?" Max said quoting Herbal from better times.

"Well, it's now all good all the time after I quit workin' for Normal, now I earning twice the meager salary he payin' his slaves."

Now Max looked to Sketchy, "So what about you Sketch, you still hauling the packages for the dough?"

"Yeah, no other place would take me, apparently when I used Normal as a reference, he said I was a slacker and wasn't worth the money he was paying me."

"And yet you still continue to work there." Cindy said.

"Cindy told us what happened with Logan, how are you holding up?" Sketchy asked.

"I'm okay, I think, I'm dealing with it, I just can't believe he's gone."

"You'll make it through this Max, we're here for you sistah."

"Thanks Herbal, it's nice to know you guys don't hate me for lying to you all this time."

"We were shocked to be sure, but somehow when it sunk in it all seemed to make sense." Sketchy said in a moment of wisdom.

"Thanks all of you for sticking with me, I know I haven't been the most forthcoming person, but it's good to know that you still trust me."

"No matter what boo, we are always here for you." Cindy said.

"Thanks, and to show my gratitude drinks are on me."

"You sure, boo?" Cindy asked.

"Yeah, Logan left me some money, and I'll have plenty left over for a bus ticket out of the country."

"What?!?" The three said in unison. There was a jumble of protests "Max what do you mean?" "Max you can't just leave." "Boo you trippin"

"All of you stop, just listen okay. I love you all to death, you know that. But this city holds so many memories of him, of everyone I have lost, I have so many ties here. But something inside me is screaming, that I need to get away, clear my head. And I know I can't stay here, they'll come looking, I know they will." Max said looking to each one of them.

"We'll be prepared for them." Cindy said.

"No you won't, when they come they will strike fast without warning. And sooner or later one of you will get caught in the crossfire and I don't need that on my conscience, you'll be safer without me here."

"But we need you here." Cindy said.

"No you don't, I know how strong you are, you can survive without me. But these two bozos," Max pointed her thumb towards Sketchy and Herbal, "need your supervision."

"What are you suggesting Max that me and my homeboy Herbal here can't take care of yourselves." Sketchy preceded to chug down his beer, choking and spitting it across the table.

"My point exactly."

"Where will you go?" Herbal asked.

"I don't know anywhere but here I guess, out of the country if that's possible, I'll catch the first bus out of here tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow? I thought we would have more time." Cindy said.

"I know, but the longer I stay, the more danger I put all of you in and the harder it's going to be to leave you all again."

"I don't care, I've just got you back boo, and now your skipping out on us, I didn't think it was in your nature to run from your problems." Cindy accused.

"I'm not running, I'm doing what I have to, to keep all of you safe. I should probably get going." They all shared a group hug and parted ways, Cindy and Max were headed to their apartment, Sketchy and Herbal were indulging themselves on booze at the bar.

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Max asked.

"Who knows, but I'm sure we'll be fine now that they know the have a genetically revved up female looking out for them. But right now I'm more worried about you. How are you holding up?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Cause we love you and we're worried about you, his loss hurt you, we all can see that, maybe we just want to make sure that you're not going to snap on us."

"I'm not I promise, I have lost a lot of other people in my life and I have yet to snap what makes you think that I'm going to now."

"That's exactly the point, you held all their deaths in, sooner or later they're going to boil over and you're not going to be able to control it."

"I'm okay, this is just the way that I deal with things."

Looking at her watch, Cindy said, "We should probably get going we don't want to get in trouble with the po-pos for breaking curfew."

"You go ahead, I need to do some more thinking, I can take care of myself you that, I'll see you in a bit." She watched OC head in the direction of home. Smiling after her friend she felt a hand on her shoulder.