This here is a little something I whipped up for Azulmizu's special request belated b-day present. Her request was Yusuke/Kurama angst, and I wrote this with them in mind. It went from very vague and impersonal, conversation only, to Kurama was the cutter, to Yusuke was the cutter. Yusuke as the cutter came out the best, despite the fact I don't see either Yusuke or Kurama doing it. However, Azul-chan wanted me to write angst, and my only true life connection with angst has to do with cutting, so I chose to use that as my source. The story comes out with a happy ending.
Happy belated birthday Azul-chan!! I hope you enjoy this! It was a lot of work, but very fun! And I hope everyone enjoys this as much as I do.
Warning: Cutting, slash/yaoi/shonen-ai, whatever you call it... MALE/MALE relationship!! that's what it is!
Disclaimers: I don't think cutting is a good thing. At all. Yusuke and Kurama aren't mine. At all. The idea is mine. Entirely. The poem/lyrics thingy whazzit is mine. Entirely. The little comment about love and problems on the bottom is mine. Entirely. Get over it! You may use any of mine stuff with permission, I don't care, I just wanna be able to read it in application (I'm very proud of that one line obviously).
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Staring at dark words carved in my arm
Breathing the scent of blood in the air
Knowing no matter what I do or say
Tomorrow will come
A darker day
"Why?" Kurama stared at the deep crimson lines, disbelief and a deep hurt in his eyes.
"To vent the pain. To vent the anger. To keep control," Yusuke shifted nervously in his chair and averted his eyes from Kurama's intense gaze.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Kurama's voice was full of pain, or worry. But not anger. Yusuke almost wished he'd be angry. That would be so much easier to deal with then this... this... pain.
"Fear of rejection." Kurama jerked sharply and lunged forward, cupping Yusuke's face gently and forcing the human boy to look at him. Yusuke shifted nervously and tried to avert his gaze, tried to keep himself from drowning in those clear, passionate, emerald eyes.
"You know we'd never leave you. We only want you to be happy." Oh Gods, he knew it. How he knew it.
"I-I know..."
"So why?"
"I-I... I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Yusuke could feel the tears beginning to form in his eyes. 'No...' he begged silently.
Reading words obscene and vulgar
Bleeding words begging forgiveness
Tears streaming as I try to recover
But knowing no matter what I do or say
Tomorrow will come
A darker day
"Ssh... ssh... I'm sorry," Kurama soothed, pulling Yusuke into his chest and cradling him there like a child.
"W-why? You've got no reason," Yusuke asked, deeply surprised and trying to look at Kurama even as his tears came harder and faster.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there. I should've been. I should've been more open. I should've realized. I'm sorry." Kurama pet Yusuke's hair gently, and Yusuke could sense the guilt in the kitsune's manner.
"No... don't apologize. Please don't apologize. I'm the one who's sorry. I'm the one who should be sorry." There was a long moment of silence, and then Yusuke realized that Kurama's body was shaking slightly. Surprised yet again, he jerked away and came face to face with Kurama's glistening cheeks.
"...Why are you crying? Is it because of me? I'm sorry. Please don't cry! Don't cry!" he begged, worry and panic flooding his features.
Hurt flies across beautiful features
Tears stream from emotion-filled eyes
I'm sorry I hurt you
But I know no matter what I do or say
Tomorrow will come
A darker day
"I'm sorry. Don't worry please. I'm just sad that you're so hurt," Kurama said, trying to force a smile and only causing more tears. By now, Yusuke was beyond controlling his tears and was speaking between gasping, silent sobs.
"I... there's one more reason I did it," he admitted bitterly, burrowing into Kurama's chest.
"Why?" Kurama asked, his tone mild as he ran soothing fingers through Yusuke's hair and gently massaged the nape of his neck.
"Frustration."
"About what?" Kurama asked softly, when Yusuke failed to continue.
"I... I love you. but I couldn't bear to tell you. In case you said no," Yusuke turned his head now in Kurama's chest, sure his shame was warming the other boy's chest. Kurama was silent a long moment, though his hands never ceased their movement. Yusuke knew Kurama would never lie to him, even after something like this. Silently, he rose to his feet and turned away.
"I'm sorry... I'll leave now..." he said sadly, feeling empty and broken beyond repair. He was stopped when a slender hand closed around his wrist. Curious, he twisted and looked at Kurama.
"I love you too," Kurama said firmly, looking at Yusuke through clear, smiling eyes.
"...what?" Yusuke asked, not believing Kurama had really said what he had only ever heard before in dreams. Kurama smiled a little and pulled Yusuke into a tight embrace, fondly kissing the top of his head and his cheeks over and over again.
"I love you too Yusuke Urameshi. I love you too."
Eyes lock and kisses exchanged
Hearts pounding as tears fade
Lie together and draw the same strength
And know no matter what I do or stay
Tomorrow will come
And you'll be there
And it's all ok
Love doesn't solve all problems. But sometimes, finding someone who really, truly loves you for you is a step in the right direction towards happiness.
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There y'all go. Hope you likies. It was sorta cheesy, wasn't it? Well, all that's important is that Azul and I like it, and I'm already 50 accomplished. However, if you liked or didn't like, I'd love to hear why or why not!
R&R
Love and hugs, Lethal-chan