Dedicated to Nyghtvision, who didn't mind at all me borrowing the Netherworld Flamingo for a go. She owns Bob, Caspian, the Random Parrots, as well as helping me out with a few lines..…Go read the Ivory Files. It is the most hilarious story with an excellent plot. Because I said so. And it's spiffy.

As I rest against this cold, hard wall
Will you pass me by?
Will you criticize me as I sit and cry?
I had fought so hard and thought that all my battles had been won
Only to find the war has just begun

Is he not strong enough?
Is he not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out, and start again
Is he not brave enough?
To take one chance on me
Please can I have one chance to start again?

—Stacie Orrico, Strong Enough

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Chapter Eight: Breaking Barriers

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The Netherworld Flamingo, Downtown Haven, The Lower Elements

Holly ignored the dancing penguin that had just flew by her ear that was chasing a rather harried looking talking parrot, who squawked, "Dead men tell no tales!"

"Refill, Cap'n?" Caspian, the young elf who ran the bar, twirled a bottle expertly. Well, almost. It slipped and fell out of her fingers, and Caspian disappeared underneath the bar for a moment and reappeared holding the bottle aloft. "I'm okay," she announced solidly.

Holly smiled and held out her Coke on the rocks. Caspian poured her another round of the bubbly drink and hopped over the bar to join her. "Slow night," she remarked rather sadly.

Holly's hazel eyes raked the brightly lit karaoke-bar-grille-restaurant-theatre-club, which at the moment whose sole occupants were herself, Caspian, the Random Parrots, the penguins, the flamingo statuettes, the Atlantean bogglefish, the new giant squid…Alright, it wasn't really empty, because the Flamingo could never be empty.

But the usual crowd of rambunctious fairies enjoying music, mysterious drinks, and the Monty-Python atmosphere of Caspian's infamous establishment was gone and the general atmosphere was one of emptiness. Even with the parrots, penguins, flamingos, bright lights…the Flamingo looked rather lonely with out the noise.

"The plague, is it?" remarked Holly, watching her Coke fizzle.

Caspian nodded, her chestnut hair bobbing up and down. "Either that or Noodlewhip has been scaring customers away."

"Noodlewhip?"

"The giant squid. The bogglefish haven't been the same since he joined them in the tank," Caspian stated matter-of-factly. "Excuse me," she said, hopping off the stool clumsily-yet-gracefully and going to inspect the neon-lighted tank. The exotic Atlantean fish were huddled in a corner, boggling at the squid in fear/awe/amazement/curiosity. Holly guessed it was awe from the way one bogglefish offered Noodlewhip a pebble from the purple depths in worship. Her own bogglefish Bob did that sometimes when she fed him.

"Caspian," Holly took a sip of her Coke and hesitated, wondering how to say it. She looked at the fizzy brown bubbles again, seeing her reflected hazel eyes blinking back at her. How many of these have she had again?

Caspian stopped poking the tank and looked up.

"Are you scared?"

A Random Parrot flopped down next to Holly in a flurry of yellow-green feathers. "Say no to lettuce!" it squawked.

Caspian blinked at Holly. "Of Noodlewhip?"

"The plague," sighed Holly, looking into the depths of her Coke again.

"Oh." Caspian stared into the fishtank. "I'm not scared of Noodlewhip. But I am scared of the plague."

A parrot landed on her shoulder.

"Scared to death," Caspian whispered. She gave Holly an apoplectic smile. "I know you aren't, Holly, after all, you've faced worse, right? Like a completely smashed Trouble."

Holly grinned at her. "He was so drunk he was flibbering about pink elephants."

"Oliphaunts," corrected Caspian.

Holly smiled, but the last vestiges of the sugar was leaving her, as well as the funny memory of her co-captain crooning to an imaginary being that was pink. "It's a lot worse, Caspian," said Holly morosely, "How can you fight against a plague? I mean, it's not like a triad of goblins or anything. You can't see it. You can't do anything about it until you're dead. How, Caspian, how?"

Caspian blinked at her again. "Forty-two," she replied finally.

Holly returned the blank look. "Huh?"

"Forty-two is the answer to the Question of Life, the Universe and Everything," stated Caspian, as if that explained it all. Seeing Holly's dubious look, she added, "You could try asking a parrot."

"Random Parrot," addressed Holly, feeling rather stupid. "Same question."

"Awk!" squawked the parrot. "Listen to the knight! And read the fine print before you sign. Awk!"

Caspian shrugged. "Another drink?"

Holly smiled in spite of herself. Somehow the Netherworld Flamingo and its eccentric owner never failed to cheer her up.

Police Plaza, Haven, The Lower Elements

Foaly carefully plied the last wire, squinting carefully through his protective goggles and soldering it into place.

He stepped back from his latest invention and sighed with satisfaction.

BANG.

The door burst open, and Foaly jumped back in a startled shock, banging his forelegs into his worktable.

His masterpiece shuddered.

Foaly stared at it for an excruciating long moment.

Then it fell apart.

Foaly stared at it in disbelief for a few seconds, and then he turned abruptly around at the intruder, agitated and very annoyed.

"You!" he shrieked, pointing his blowtorch at him.

The pixie in a Council uniform stood unfazed at the angry centaur in too-large goggles waving a blowtorch hysterically.

"By order of the Council of the Lower Elements…" he began in a dignified voice, unrolling a decorative scroll.

Suddenly the scroll was yanked viciously out of the pixie's hand mid-read and pinned to a wall by a feathered dart. It also took a good-sized chunk of Foaly's hair. Commander Root shoved the Council pixie out of the door. "AND STAY OUT!" he roared.

Foaly looked over the piece of parchment pinned artistically to his wall. "Well, we have official permission to look for the Heart of Time," he said.

"Send Short and Trouble up immediately," growled Root. "We don't need to waste any more time," he added.

"Starting Monday," said Foaly, looking over the signed parchment.

"WHAT?" fumed Root. Foaly ducked as an unknown projectile exploded against the wall.

Fowl Manor

The doorbell rang. Butler looked up from the priceless Athena vase he was dusting in the hallway. He briefly wondered who it could be, then decided it was probably a Loginov servant with a message. Angeline was in the parlor having tea with her friend Irina Loginov, and Artemis Senior was out visiting several business associates.  The house was quiet except for the faint pristine chatter from the parlor and the swishing of his feather duster.

The doorbell rang again.

Butler walked to the massive door and tapped the wooden paneled wall next to it, revealing a state-of-the-art security system. The hidden camera above the door revealed a short thing resembling a person that was covered head to toe in rather odd apparel. The head was covered with a large vulture-topped hat, and the face was concealed with a balaclava and sunglasses, and a carrot protruded from where a mouth supposedly was, and the entire apparatus was upheld by a trench coat that dragged several feet on the floor, too tall for its wearer.

Butler reached for his hidden gun, ready to fire, should this strange figure prove to be dangerous.

He opened the door.

"Hey, Butler," said a cheery voice that seemed oddly familiar. "Long time no see."

Somewhere in Ireland

"You've been biding your time, Alex."

"No, no! I sent it already. You should receive it tomorrow. Or today."

"It better be today."

"It will, Jon. I'm sure of it. Make sure it is passed with the plans and the brilliant passagework."

"You have no need to fear, Alex." A slight chuckle. "Everything is going according to plan. The barriers have been breached."

A/N: Wasn't that fast like I promised? Hehe. Well, I'm sort of sticking to a sort of outline.

Review Responses:

Comex: Weirdness is spiffy. Whee!

The Cheezhead: Was that soon or what? ^_^

Eve: I hurried and I updated. Whee.

Nonchallant: I didn't quite write like the wind, but I updated! Whee! I'm glad you think I write Arty well. Oddly enough, he's not in this chapter either. But we'll get back to him soon.

black-knight-1988: As for the human-fairy relationship subplot in the last chapter, the human man was mindwiped. As for their meaningful relationship…well, they only had a one-night-stand, that's all. They're both dead, so they're not much of use to the story any more. ^_^ I tried to do humor, really, I did! Hehe.

Trinity Day: Lili Frond fascinates me for some reason. I see her somewhat like Juliet…somewhat. Twist and turn this plot will take until you're all so confused! Whee! Fun.

Identity99: Wow. ^_^ I'm flattered that I'm on your favorites list. Now go update The Real Artemis. Come on, I'm waiting here…don't make me tell the evil penguins.

Roxie Faye: Whee! You're very smart, I can give you that. There is a lot of foreshadowing/hints about what is going on, and about who's who…so let me tell you, you're on the right track..^_^ But I won't say anything else.

darkwanderer: Why thank you. ^_^

darklight ascendant: Everything happens for a reason. And if it doesn't, than ask the evil plot bunny.

Nyghtvision: AHH! Air molecues! Aren't they always getting in the way? Yay! You felt the angst! Huzzah! Side-plots are fun. You do side-universe well too, except I would probably get lost in them and forget to come back to the story. As for the air…how about a vacuum? If it doesn't work, it always makes spiffy squeaky noises.

Mystic Unicorn:  I deliberately spell it Elvish. After all, if you're going to say elves, why not elvish? I don't think it's right to say Elfish unless you say elfs. Which looks wrong. And Tolkien is king. ^_^

Chapter Nine:  We return to Artemis and Alanis to find out what they are up to and whether Alanis has fallen asleep from sheer boredom and whether Artemis has decided whether or not to get rid of her yet. Maybe some more mysterious things happen, and of course, Butler gets to figure out that that thing on the doorstep is. Now review otherwise I shall throw a horny toaster at you.