Chapter Two: Hell Hath No Fury

When Pippin finally returned to Crickhollow from Tuckborough, he shrugged off his cloak and sat wearily next to Merry at the kitchen table, leaving a trail of dust in his wake. "How long has it been? A year?"

Merry smiled sympathetically. "A week." There was nothing Merry would rather do than relieve Pippin's fatigue with a quick romp, but he was determined to remain strong. "How's Diamond?"

Pippin shook his head. "I had forgotten just annoying she is. When I left, she was flirting with every Hobbit at the Great Smials, including my father. They were falling all over themselves to wait on her hand and foot, while my mother and sisters looked as if they'd like to shave her head for good measure. If Diamond wasn't looking at herself in her little hand mirror, she was hitting me with that damned fan of hers, demanding I tell her how gorgeous she is. When she was pleased with me, she would call me, 'darling,' 'sweetheart' or the very worst, 'Pippy--'"

Merry laughed out loud. "Pippy?!"

Pippin snorted in disgust. "But whenever I didn't do or say exactly what she wanted me to, she shot me the most terrifying looks. I swear, Merry, she could scare a Ringwraith. I could almost see the wheels turning in her little head as she thought about the best way to get back at me."

Despite his amusement, Merry felt for Pippin and for everyone at the Great Smials having to deal with the unpleasant Hobbit lass. Unfortunately, it was traditional in Hobbit society for the bride-to-be to live with the groom's family until the wedding. "How did you escape?"

"I told her I had to return to Crickhollow as soon as possible so you and I could plan a grand engagement party for both her and Stella." Pippin grinned wryly. "With lots of presents, of course. I didn't give her an exact date, but we had better start planning something or we'll feel the wrath of Diamond come down upon our handsome, curly heads."

Merry chuckled. "Let me get you some tea."

"How is Stella, by the way?" Merry thought he heard a little hint of jealousy in Pippin's voice.

"She accepted my proposal," Merry said, setting a cup and a plate of biscuits in front of Pippin as he sat back down. "She doesn't quite trust me, but can you blame her? I also had a terrible row with Sam."

Pippin winced. "I can't imagine what he and Rosie must have been thinking."

"He demanded to know what we were up to, but I didn't tell him the whole truth." Merry heaved a heavy sigh. "We continued to argue and I said some terrible things. He's been nothing but a perfect husband to Rosie and I went and brought up Frodo."

"You didn't." Pippin's obvious shock and disappointment wasn't unexpected. Sam and Frodo's unrequited love for each other was the one subject the Travellers knew never to bring up--that is, until Merry's unjust attack on Sam at the Master's party.

Merry lowered his head in shame. "I don't know how I'm ever going to make it up to him."

Pippin reached across the table to stroke Merry's hair, but he stopped himself and withdrew. There was a tense pause as they met each other's eyes. Pippin was the first to turn away. "I think I'll take a bath."

That night they both overindulged in spirits in order to dampen the physical and emotional ache they felt for each other. When they could drink no more, they stumbled into separate bedrooms. Their sleep was fitful and was interrupted by troubling dreams; they lost each other again and again: to an enemy's blade, to Orcs, Barrow-wights and willow trees, then finally to marriage.

The same destructive pattern went on for nearly a week; by that time they were both much worse for the excessive drink and lack of rest.

It was Pippin who finally suggested a drastic solution. "Merry, I think it might be better if you moved back into Brandy Hall, to be with Estella."

Merry was greatly pained by the exhaustion in Pippin's eyes, lining his fair face, but he wasn't prepared to give him up completely. "Pippin, I feel like you're sending me away forever."

Pippin's silence told Merry that was exactly what he was doing. "The temptation is just too great if we stay here together," Pippin reasoned after a long pause. "There's nothing for me in Tuckborough, but there's no reason why you can't be happy at Brandy Hall. I know you care for Stella. I like her, too. I always have. It'll be easier on me if I know you're happy."

Merry wiped a few stray tears on his sleeve and went to pack his things.

Three days before Merry and Pippin decided it was best for Merry to leave Crickhollow, Diamond of Long Cleeve arrived unexpectedly at Brandy Hall. She was dropped off rather unceremoniously by The Thain and his wife. It didn't take long for Estella to discover the reason why. Within an hour of her arrival, Diamond had caught the eye of every eligible Hobbit lad (as well as a several ineligible ones) in the Hall. Estella thought she saw just the slightest hint of distress behind Diamond's affectation that made her feel a little sorry for the young Hobbit lass.

Estella put a sisterly arm around Diamond's shoulder and led her away from recently-wed Calab Brandybuck. "Diamond," Estella said as gently as she could, "it's not polite to steal another lass's husband."

"I wasn't stealing him," Diamond countered, tossing her pretty head, "It was just an innocent flirtation."

"Begging your pardon, dearest, but there is nothing innocent about the way you flirt," Estella said with a grim smile. "Why don't we find something a little more constructive for you to do?"

Estella found Diamond to be an absolute disaster when it came to needlework or spinning. It was obvious her mother had expected Diamond to survive on her beauty alone. Estella patiently set Diamond about embroidering a simple pattern on a linen kerchief, while Estella spun Buckland's famously luxurious wool with a hand spindle and a distaff leaning against her shoulder.

"Have you seen the necklace dear Aunt Esmeralda is wearing?" Diamond asked after she had pricked her finger for the third time. So far there was more blood than embroidery on the kerchief.

"I didn't notice," Estella replied.

"How could you not? Those emeralds are enormous!"

"Diamond," Estella whispered, "you must keep your voice down."

Diamond looked momentarily cowed, but continued in a whisper, "Do you think she'll give it to you on your wedding day or will you have to wait until she dies?"

Estella sighed in exasperation. "You shouldn't be so concerned with material possessions, it's very unseemly."

Diamond seemed genuinely wounded by Estella's scolding. "I'm sorry, Stella. I just say what I know everyone else is thinking. I can't help it."

"Well, I wasn't thinking it."

Diamond smiled knowingly. "I know what you were thinking about--or should I say who you were thinking about. I promise not to be so greedy if you stop being so meek."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Estella replied defensively.

Diamond gave up on the kerchief and tossed it on an empty chair. That very evening, Diamond's needle would end up in Saradoc Brandybuck's backside.

"If I were you," said Diamond. "I'd send a messenger to Crickhollow to fetch Merry this very instant. He should be here at your beck and call."

"Merry!" Estella jumped out of her chair as soon as she saw him and dropped her spindle on the floor. When she bent down to pick it, she poked herself in the cheek with her distaff. "Ouch!"

Merry took the spindle and distaff from her and put them on a table. "Stella, you've got to be more careful. You almost put your eye out."

Estella could feel herself flush with embarrassment, which worsened when Merry kissed her cheek to ease the pain. She managed to laugh uneasily at her own expense. "What brings you here?"

Merry gazed at her as if she had just asked the most obvious question in the world. "You, of course."

"Oh, how nice!" Estella replied in high-pitched, slightly mad voice.

"Hello, Merry," Diamond said as she pushed her way between them. Estella got the impression it was to rescue her from her terminal case of discomfiture. She isn't such a bad sort after all.

"Diamond," Merry said with a forced smile, "what are you doing here? I thought you were in Tuckborough."

"I was, but dear Aunt Eglantine suggested I come here, so I could be closer to my beloved."

Merry coughed to cover up a snicker.

"Stella has been such a dear to keep me company." Diamond put her arm through Estella's and hugged the older Hobbit lass. "You're very lucky to have her."

Though still red in the face, Estella gave Merry a wry smile and rolled her eyes. "Are you staying for dinner, Merry?" Estella asked hopefully.

"Actually, I'm here to stay permanently," he said, taking Estella's hand and leading her away from Diamond. "If that's all right with you."

Estella's eye was caught by Diamond gesturing at her wildly behind Merry's back. Diamond wanted her to be bold and daring; so Estella took a deep breath and started to say something witting and nonchalant, but it came out as, "Ah, um...of course, if that's all right with you."

Diamond threw up her hands and left the couple to themselves.

Merry's attentiveness to Estella during dinner wasn't at all feigned. He had always found her to be the most attractive lass in the Shire and he found his feelings for her resurfacing readily. He suddenly realized why he had been so reluctant to leave Pippin. If he let his feelings for Estella bloom, would Pippin mean less to him? Would he be betraying his heart by loving her? She deserved to be loved as much as Pippin did. It seemed so unfair to have to choose between them.

After dinner and a round of stories, Merry and Estella walked a ways from Brandy Hall so they could enjoy a little privacy. The almost-full moon was kind enough to provide them with plenty of romantic lighting.

Estella cried out happily as she took Merry's hand, stopping by the side of a familiar frog pond. "How long ago was it?"

Merry grinned. "Twenty years."

"I still can't believe you and Fred put a dozen frogs in my bed when we stayed over for your father's party."

Merry sat by the side of the pond and motioned for Estella to join him. "What you and Pippin did was worse."

Estella laughed. "He was so cross that you two left him out of it, it seemed only natural that we team up for our revenge."

"Did it have to be maggots?" Merry shuddered at the memory.

"The maggots were Pippin's idea and since I didn't have to actually touch them, I went along with it." Estella waded up to her ankles in the pond and leaned over. She picked up a lazy old bullfrog and handed it to Merry. "Here. You have my permission to put him in my bed tonight."

"It's no fun if you know about it in advance." Merry put the bullfrog on the ground and watched it hop back into the water. "Besides, I was hoping that I'd be invited into your bed tonight."

Estella let out a little gasp and started to hyperventilate. Merry held her close. "Breathe slowly, Stella. We don't have to if you're not ready."

"I-I'm ready, really." Estella kissed him awkwardly, but sweetly. Merry put his arms around her waist and lowered her to the ground.

Merry hadn't felt a lass's body against his for so long. Estella was so much smaller than Pippin and he was struck by the novelty of her softness and delicate curves. He had to remind himself to be careful with her, which was becoming increasingly difficult. As their kisses deepened, he felt her fingernails bite his skin through his clothes and her fingers pulling at his hair.

"Merry," she said breathlessly.

"Yes, Stell?" he moaned, as he kissed her neck and the swell of her bosom.

"I think there's an insect crawling up my leg."

Merry stopped in mid-kiss and grinned down on her devilishly. "Perhaps it's a maggot."

Estella let out a little scream and pushed Merry off of her. She scrambled to her feet and frantically shook her legs and brushed out her skirts, laughing.

Merry got up on his knees and put a hand on her waist. "Hold still. Let me check." He ran his hand slowly up her calf and thigh, lightly brushing the fabric of her knickers between her legs, and then down her other leg. Estella was shaking and had to brace her hands on his shoulders. After a torturous examination he pronounced her maggot-free.

She slapped his shoulder with a giggle and fell back into his arms. "You're awful."

"Now we're square." Merry kissed her on the tip of her nose, just as he done to Pippin a hundred times before. Is this what it feels like, Sam, to have your heart torn in two?

Estella noticed his darkening mood and put her soft hand on his cheek. "Are you all right, Merry?"

Merry nuzzled her neck and easily lifted her up in his arms. "Let's go inside."

Merry took Estella to his room, ignoring the curious glances of some of his relatives that were still awake, though the hour was very late. He undressed them both slowly, but he kept his breeches on. When Estella protested he said, "I don't want to cause you pain tonight. I want to please you."

Estella looked surprised and more than a little anxious. Merry winced inwardly. Estella had always tried to please him when they were courting, short of letting him bed her (Hobbit lasses were expected to guard their maidenhead at least until they had an engagement ring on their finger). He was ashamed to realize that he had never seriously considered her enjoyment before.

"But I like making you happy." Estella went for the ties on his breeches, but he stayed her hand and laid her back down on the bed.

"You've done nothing but make me happy over the years," he said. "Tonight it's your turn." The grateful tears that fell from Estella's eyes made Merry that much more determined to please her.

Merry explored her lovely body with his hands and mouth. He realized that it was Pippin who had made him into a considerate lover. Merry tried not to think of it, but he wished Pippin could be there, as well. Wicked and selfish, that's what he was.

After Merry had made her peak twice, Estella insisted that Merry make love to her.

Merry's ache for both her and Pippin made her offer impossible to refuse. He went as slowly and gently as he could, but there was no way he could not hurt her as he entered her. Still a maid, Estella was so small and fragile next to him, yet she was so determined to please him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pushed him deeper inside her, all the while gripping his arms so hard she left bruises; tears of pain ran down her cheeks. When Merry realized that the sticky fluid running down her thigh was blood, he pulled away.

Estella started to cry in earnest. "I'm so sorry, Merry. It'll be better next time, I promise."

"Stop it, Stella." He said it more firmly than he had intended, but she did stop crying. "I didn't mean to hurt you, but I'm so much bigger than you are. I have something--some oil that will make it easier next time." He kissed her tenderly on the forehead and lips, then cleaned her up and covered the bloody spot on the bed with a blanket. He gathered her tiny, trembling body in his arms.

"I love you, Merry," she murmured against his chest.

"I love you too, Stella," Merry replied without thinking, then realized he meant it.

The news that Merry and Estella had spent the night in his room spread like wildfire throughout Brandy Hall by morning. Saradoc regarded his son with something resembling pride; Merry heard Diamond whisper in Estella's ear, "Now he has to marry you. He wouldn't dare go back on his promise after last night."

Merry had no intention of going back on his promise. He truly did love Estella, but despite Merry's fears, his longing for Pippin was just as strong as it always had been.

"Stella, I have to go to Crickhollow," he told her, "but I promise to return tomorrow."

"Is there something wrong?" Merry feared he had let his turmoil show through his eyes, something Estella was bound to pick up on--just like Pippin.

Merry smiled. "No. Pippin and I need to do some more planning for the engagement party I told you about."

"Will there be presents?" Diamond asked.

"I'm certain there will be," said Merry.

"I was just checking," Diamond replied. "Be a dear and tell Pippin that I prefer diamonds, of course, but I also like sapphires and emeralds, though I'd love a mithril necklace. I don't like rubies because they clash with my hair; silver and semi-precious stones are out of the question. They give me a terrible rash."

"Diamond!" Estella said firmly.

"I was being greedy again. I'm sorry, Stella." Diamond looked up at Estella sadly. Being the kind soul that she was, Estella put a comforting arm around her. "Just tell Pippin that any little piece of expensive jewelry will do."

Merry and Estella laughed, then Estella saw Merry off.

When Estella returned from the stables, Diamond couldn't help but notice the anxiety on her new best friend's pretty face.

"He should never have left you," Diamond said. "Not after last night."

"I think that's exactly why he did leave," Estella replied, worried. "It didn't go as well as I had hoped."

Diamond's eyes narrowed. "What did Merry do wrong?"

"It wasn't him; he was perfect. It was me. I was just so nervous."

"Did he actually say it was your fault it was terrible?"

"It wasn't terrible," Estella said with a shy smile. "It just...hurt--a lot. It's all on account of that Entish water they drank in Fangorn."

Diamond giggled. "I always did wonder if it made everything bigger."

Estella swallowed hard and nodded. "It did."

"Well, what does he expect then?" Diamond replied reasonably. "It's not your fault; he shouldn't have gotten so big. And I think you should tell him so."

"I suppose we could discuss it when he gets back." Estella started wringing her hands.

Diamond grabbed her friend and pulled her up out of her chair. "Well, I think we should pay them a surprise visit this very day."

When Merry returned to Crickhollow, he found Pippin rummaging through the pantry. "Hello, Pippin."

Pippin jumped at the unexpected intrusion. "What are you doing here, Merry?" Pippin asked somewhat irritably. He put some bread and cheese on a platter and took it into the parlor. "Didn't you and Stella--?"

Merry nodded as he sat down next to his cousin.

Pippin pushed the plate of food away without even touching it. "Then why come here and torture me with it?"

Merry took him by the shoulders and turned Pippin to face him. "I tried not to want everything, but it just makes me want it even more. Last night when I was with Stella, my thoughts would drift to you, but I wanted her as well. I even wished you were there...with us."

"Merry, you shouldn't say such things!" Pippin cried. "I'm almost mad as it is."

Merry stroked his hair and placed a consoling kiss on Pippin's cheek. Pippin caught Merry's hand and returned the kiss, but on Merry's lips. After a moment's pause, Pippin straddled Merry's legs and placed sensuous kisses on his neck and behind his ear.

"One more time won't make any difference," Merry breathed as he covered Pippin's mouth with his own.

Estella insisted that she and Diamond walk to Crickhollow, saying that it was a fine day for a walk. Diamond knew it was an effort to postpone their arrival, but she acquiesced. Diamond also complained the entire way there even though it was only a league from Brandy Hall. She looked abashed whenever Estella got cross with her. But Estella always apologized and took her hand like a good friend would. With all the rest stops they were forced to take, it was almost time for afternoon tea when the two lasses finally arrived.

Estella went to knock on the door, but Diamond stayed her hand. "It's a surprise, remember?"

Diamond turned the handle silently and the lasses crept into the parlor. Merry and Pippin were not there, but the girls heard odd noises coming from the bedroom. It almost sounded like someone was in pain.

Estella was breathing erratically, eyes wide with fear at what they would find. Diamond smiled encouragingly and took her hand. They crossed the short hall in a matter of seconds, but it felt like an hour. Diamond's hand started to shake as she twisted the bedroom door knob.

Later, Diamond couldn't remember actually opening the door, but she must have because there on the bed was Meriadoc Brandybuck rutting her future husband. She heard a small scream and a thud behind her and vaguely realized that Estella had just fainted.

I should faint too. Why aren't I fainting? Instead, Diamond was mesmerized by Pippin's member and the current location of Merry's. "Imagine that, everything did get bigger." With that, she joined her friend on the floor.

To be continued....