Friends First

It was late when the students filed out of the Main Hall. They looked back and pointed, giggled and gossiped about the new member to the Hogwarts family. Only four people remained in the Hall. The silence pierced Maylin. She put down her empty glass and refilled it to the brim.

"Careful, child," said Dumbledore softly.

"Yes, dear," added McGonagall, "you do have class tomorrow morning."

Maylin tilted her head. Children, she thought, my god I'm a teacher. She took a drink.

"I'll be fine, I've done worse on short notice, besides I want to look and feel my best in the morning." Maylin smiled at the two elder professors. Her head bent down and her mind opened to the two of them. I do not wish to be rude or disrespectful, but after all I'm about to do for this school you could both allow me a bottle wine with out a second guess, hmm?

Dumbledore obliged, Child, I understand the position we have asked you to fill is immense, Minerva and I will leave you be, but please be careful.  

McGonagall sensing Maylin's tension simply nodded and excused herself to bed.Dumbledore followed her out of the room leaving only Snape and Maylin behind.

Maylin bowed her head to the table waited a moment and then pushed her whole body back into her chair. She sighed heavily and turned to the man beside her.

Snape sat stiff and composed, his eyes fixated on the window on the far side of the room. From her point of view it looked as if he wasn't even breathing.

Maylin counted to herself, one, two, three.

"So," she managed to say out loud. "This is terribly awkward, but I cannot honestly say I thought I would be any different." Snape's hand moved to the table and touched the glass. He tapped the glass and it moved on its own to face Maylin. "I'll have another." His voice was dry and monotone. Maylin nodded and poured the drink, this time by hand. She placed the glass before him and waited. The air between them was thick. His rigidity left her speechless. He took another sip and the moments seemed to drag.

"How the hell are we supposed to do this, if you won't even look at me, Severus?" Maylin's voice was low and loaded with frustration. Snape stayed still. Unreadable. She took another sip of wine. "It's been over ten years, y' know," she paused. "You could at least look at me."

She faced him now sitting sideways in her chair. But he would not comply.  Her aggravation peaked. "This is ridiculous," she whispered.

Maylin quickly stood from her seat and removed Snape's plate from the table and onto the floor with a crash. She grabbed the bottle and sat on the table directly in front of him.

"Look at me."

Snape's eyes rose to meet hers. They burned to her core. The pain started in the back of her head and quickly spread to her heart. Unmoving, unfeeling, and cold. Maylin lost her composure and let her head drop to face the floor.

"I win."

Maylin raised her head. Snape stood before her. His dark over robe hid his thin frame and square shoulders.

"What you mean, 'you win?'" Maylin wearily asked.

Snape blinked once, very slowly, thin traces of a smile crept onto his hardened face and then disappeared into his pale flesh. His eyes deepened.

"You can't stand it, can you," he said smoothly.

"Stand what?"

Maylin rose to face the wall of a man before her. Her stare could be as intense as his and he knew it. She also knew that he would never give in to anything she put before him. He had learned his lesson long ago.

She gritted her teeth, "Stand what?"

"Walk with me," said Snape turning toward the door. "We have much to discuss it seems, and I cannot guarantee such willing spirits from me on a regular basis."

Maylin threw back her head and ran her hands through her hands. "Do you ever change?" she called to him through the doorway. "Just walk," Snape replied. Maylin shook her head and stepped forward…only end badly…

The halls of Hogwarts were hollow and empty. Portraits lined the walls, their subjects now either getting ready for bed or fast asleep. Candle light lit the stone halls as Maylin and Snape meandered. Five minutes had passed and yet Snape had said nothing. Their footsteps echoed one after the other. In the distance moonlight seeped in through the far window. It was a full moon. And for the time being the only comforting presence Maylin felt.

They stood side by side. Maylin shifted her hands back and forth from her pockets to the outside. Nothing she did, no way she walked felt right.  But she followed him regardless. Further and further they walked. Nothing looked familiar. Had the walls changed, the lighting, the portraits she did remember simply looked older. Everything, everyone, looked older.

They came to a downward staircase and it was as if her earlier explosion had gone off in her head. She knew exactly where he was taking her. At the bottom of the stairs they turned right and for once Maylin stepped ahead of Snape. She placed her hand on a blank patch of stone on their left. 

"What's the new password, my old ones won't work," Maylin pleaded almost merrily.

Snape stepped forward and touched the stone. "Horntail."

The wall opened like any conventional door and once inside closed silently behind them. As they walked toward the Syltherin common room greenish lights illuminated their path. The common room was just as Maylin remembered it:  thick stonewalls, green hanging lights, the large fireplace, the black velvet couches.

They moved to the center of the room. "Wait here," said Snape. Maylin leaned back on the couch. Bed checks, she thought, god I hated those. Maylin stood from the couch and walked to the bookshelf. Yearbooks lined the top shelves. She looked hard until she found the appropriate year. She softly called to the book and it fell to her with ease.  She looked through the pictures of smiling students and professors. Dumbledore looked so much younger then. She turned to the front and found the seventh years. Her picture was toward the middle of the Slytherin section. Her hair was longer, by a bit. Her eyes were brighter. Her laughing expression was highlighted by the goofy back and forth head dance she did. On the bottom of the next page was picture of Severus Snape. His black hair hung perfectly around his face. His chiseled features were hard but handsome. His appearance was more thoughtful than firm. He looked more like a poet than a prefect.

Maylin smiled inside of herself and thumbed through the dusty book.

In the back of the book the Seventh Year Superlatives took up almost two pages. It was as strange to remember as it was silly to read. On the second page Maylin Hunter piggybacked on top of Severus Snape. This time they both laughed so hard in the picture they both fell over into the grass. They would then regain their balance, attempt to look as serious as possible, laugh and fall again. They were voted "Most Likely to Take Over the World."

"That was a long time ago." Snape called out from behind her. He walked down the steps from the students' dormitories, and stood closely behind Maylin.

He reached his arms around her smaller body and closed the book in her hands. It floated back to its place high on the shelf above her. His breath echoed in her ear. Maylin's heart beat hard against her chest. She leaned back to fall into him as she always had but when her weight shifted he had already moved away. Habits.  She cursed inside herself, turned and went toward the couch. Snape motioned for her to sit and she did.

"Is it safe to talk here?" Maylin inquired.

"These children," said Snape as he sat, "respect me almost as much as they fear me - we'll be fine." Snape glanced at the fireplace, raised his wand and a blaze erupted.

The fire in the fireplace heated the room at an amazing rate. After living so long surrounded by Muggles, Maylin had almost forgotten what it meant to be magical.

Snape found himself lost in a gaze. Sitting by the fire she was as beautiful as the night she walked out on him all those years ago.  He knew how incredibly powerful she was then; he could only imagine her capabilities now.

"So, Severus, exactly what do we do now?" She looked at him, her eyes perfectly matched to his. Snape found his words and spoke with ease.

"There is no doubt we must be civil, believe me, I've had ample time to decide that you and I will never be what we once were." Ouch.

"Friends?"

"We were friends as well."

"We were friends first."

Snape nodded. "We were friends first. I cannot argue that."

Maylin pulled her knees from the floor to her chest. "Will we be friends again?"

Snape folded his hands and lowered his head. "We are colleagues now." His voice trailed off. "Perhaps we will…I simply do not know."

"It's a start, I guess."

"That is all this is, a start."

She studied him. His focus shifted from fire to her, her to fire. She knew this was hard for him, but until now, would not let herself believe how truly painful it was for her to be so close to him. Maybe, she had made a mistake after all. She hated doubting herself.

I'm sorry…

Snape's eyes moved from the fire.

Do you really mean that? He replied. Maylin wasn't sure. She stayed quiet.

            Besides, he continued silently, sorry isn't always enough. I'm sorry. I felt and still feel genuinely horrible, but that's not going to bring back what was lost. What is gone forever…

His voice in her head drifted. It left her empty and tired.

 "But," he said aloud, "above anything we may have to - work out, the important thing is simple professionalism." Maylin nodded. She did have a job to do and an obligation to carry out. Her personal qualms were not the responsibility of anyone but herself.

"I can handle that," she stopped herself, "Professor."

"You may call me Severus, it is my name," Snape paused, "- Maylin."

Maylin managed a smile and stood. "It's late; I think it's time I go."

Snape followed her movement and walked her back to the stone door. The door opened and the pair stepped from the wall and watched it close behind them. They stood close together and yet worlds apart. The ending is simple they both thought, but walking away was the hardest thing either of them wanted to do. Try as they did to hide it, both knew how hard it was to simply walk away even if for a moment...again.

"I will see you tomorrow," said Snape. "I wish you all the best with your first lesson; it is always the most difficult."

"Thank you, dear, but I believe I have the wits to manage."

Snape nodded and extended his hand. "Sleep well then, Maylin, and welcome home, to Hogwarts."

Maylin took his hand in hers and for a moment lost herself in his eyes. "Thank

you, Severus."

They let go of each other's hands and turned to their respective hallways, classes would start early and Maylin had much to teach.