A Letter to Elise
The cabin sat in silence for a moment before Maylin adjusted sideways and looked towards the others. Lily's face wore a mask of shock while Severus on the other hand just kept staring at the ceiling. He was worried. But something about him said he was used to this by now. She wasn't sure of what to make him, he seemed reserved obviously but there was something else. Something like – embassasment? Either way, Lily wasn't going to let it go.
"Now, Severus," Lily pressured. "We're not stupid and that was something you're definitely not getting out of."
Maylin had to admit that at this point she was rather intrigued but Lily was relentless. The dark eyed young man removed his eyes from the ceiling and replaced his elbows on his knees. He sighed as he exhaled and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a half empty pack of Rothman cigarettes. Maylin's eyes widened.
"You don't mind, do you?"
"Not at all," Maylin interjected pulling out her own pack.
"This is so gross," said Lily.
"Look," said Severus pulling out his lighter. "If I'm going to sit here and tell you about this you could afford me the luxury of a fucking cigarette."
Maylin stifled a chuckle and lifted her cigarette. Lily rolled her eyes and pulled her legs to her chest. Severus clicked his zippo open and lit Maylin before lighting his own.
Severus searched for words, but nothing felt right. It sounded childish and petty. Whenever he told his story it felt like something out of a cheesy romance novel. This is what I have been reduced to – Fuck me.
"Alright," he said at long length, "Bear with me here."
The girls eyed him and nodded.
"Christ – uh, well...My mum died and – no. Hmm, well – My father, no – damn it."
"Just spit it out Severus," said Lily rather annoyed.
"Fine, I fucked a muggle and my father disowned me, now shut up and I'll give you the story." Severus didn't tear his eyes from the ceiling as he spoke. Lily stared at him like someone had just run over her dog. Maylin just sat there and smoked. These Hogwart's kids have such issues.
Severus took a drag from his cigarette and ashed onto the floor of the train compartment oblivious to Lily's stares. He started his story again.
"My father does a lot of his 'charitable work' with this organization called St. Patrick's of London. It's this research place where there do all kinds of like, independent potion study, and research out side the Ministry. It's cool, they're like this non-profit gig. Well, my mum died of cancer during my third year at Hogwart's and since my dad is a potions master he tried working with St. Patrick's to like find a cure or something silly like that."
Maylin tossed out her smoke out the window followed by Severus's. He lit another. "To be honest with you – my dad's a jerk. He's just a full of shit pompous git, but he loved my mum and when she died, he just fell the fuck apart." He paused and looked at Lily who had given him full attention.
"So, to get away – I took up an internship at St. Patrick's and I met this wicked girl. And she was amazing y'know, like everything she did was just – perfect. Well, she was two years older than me I found out and she said that this was an internship for her as well. But I didn't remember her from Hogwarts so I asked where she went, turns out she was homeschooled, I asked what her specialty was - she said science, I was confused so I asked her what her favorite Quidditch team was and she looked at me weird, then laughed and it turns out she's a fucking Muggle. Goddamnit."
He spoke like a train recounting these events. But the look in his dark eyes remain that of someone who had just had a part of them unwillingly surgically removed. He continued.
"It turns out that this St. Patrick's place is a cross community research center. It's where Witches and Wizards share research with Muggle doctors and researchers to find links between science and magic. Turning a headache potion into pills for Muggle consumption and vice versa. Go figure. I should've done my research but I just wanted to get the hell out of my house."
"So against all good judgment, we started dating."
"What was her name?" Maylin asked quietly.
"Elise." Severus smiled as he spoke her name. He adjusted in his seat and continued.
"Well, I was living in London with my brother Jack and I swear everyday going in was like nothing I've ever been through. She was smart and funny, fucking gorgeous and, unfortunately and of course, leaving at the end of the summer."
"Where did she go?" Lily chimed in. Severus looked up.
"America – John's Hopkins. Briliant girl."
Lily nodded quietly.
"So, knowing that she was leaving – I just wanted to make sure that every moment counted, that every second I had with her was better than the last. My brother didn't care what we were doing, that goofy HufflePuff bastard. I love my brother but he's not all there all the time. Anyway, my father never made it a point to be around while I was in London, so it blows my mind that the one day he decides to be a father, Elise happened to be there. It was innocent enough I guess -"
"-He walked in on you two like – doing it?" Lily's eyes widened.
Severus cracked a half smile and shook his head.
"No, he didn't walk in on us doing it – he walked in on us as we about to do it – again." Severus chortled to himself. "But, anyway, he didn't seem to mind – in fact he seemed rather relieved, I can't blame him. We talked for a bit -"
"While you were still in bed?!"
"No, Lily we put on clothes. So we talked for a bit and they got on well until she began talking about her father. Turns out my father knew her father through his donation work and BAM! my father ups and leaves. I got a note by mail later that evening saying not to come home and I haven't. I stayed with my brother. Elise left and now...well, I don't really know."
Maylin adjusted in her seat and spoke.
"How long ago was that?"
"Couple of weeks."
"And now a whole new you?"
Severus stared at her a second and answered. "No, just the me I'd rather be." There was a short silence. "Fair enough."
"So that's it?" Lily chimed in quietly.
"Yeah," Severus replied, "That's it."
Lily sat silently in the compartment. She played with a small strand of hair, her green eyes fixated in thought. Maylin picked up Severus's lighter and ran her finger over the Union Jack pattern on its side. Her eyes shot up.
"Someone's coming."
Severus opened the door. Standing poised in the pre-knock position a messy haired boy stood confused in the doorway.
"James?"
James lowered his hand and turned to Lily. "Hey Lily, um, me and the guys are hanging in the back and wanted to know if you wanted to want to come back and want to hang – want to?"
Lily blushed, Maylin and Severus exchanged rolling eyes.
Go you silly thing, I'll be cool.
Lily looked to Maylin and smiled.
"Ok." Lily got up and headed to the door.
She winked at Maylin and scooted out of the compartment.
The door closed and Maylin burst into laughter. "That girl has no idea what's going on, Jesus, I swear she's not like this all the time." Severus nodded. "I know."
There was a moment's pause while they both lit up cigarettes and settled back into their seats.
"So," Severus said, "You're a seer?"
Maylin nodded. "That's why I haven't been at Hogwarts. Too many minds in such a small place, I still have trouble sleeping and I've been in the middle of fucking nowhere for the last 5 years."
"Should be interesting."
"Yeah."
They talked for the remainder of the trip sharing quirky stories about they're favorite rockstars and writers. There was something enticingly strange about this Severus Snape Maylin had heard so much about. She cold sense his deep bitterness to those around him but it was also clear that most of what had gone over the last five years had been reduced to only half truths and rumors. In fact, she liked this guy. His voice was like warm honey – Maylin liked honey. Thank the gods he's not a seer.
They separated for only a brief moment while Severus went to retrieve his school robes, upon returning they shared one more smoke and discussed the finer points of house sorting.
"You'll be fine." Severus chimed in. "The house thing is pretty ridicules but necessary. Without it you'd find yourself in an already highly intimidating place with literary nowhere and everywhere to go."
"You're a Slytherin, right?"
"Yeah, according to a thousand year old singing hat I'm an ambitious, cutthroat, power-hungry bastard with evil up my sleeve."
Maylin raised an eyebrow. "Is that true?"
Severus cracked a devilish smile. "Sometimes."